I’m tired today as I write this, I went and saw Avenger’s – Infinity War last evening, and arrived back at the park where I sleep much later than usual, my friend Stanley who is one and the same as the God of Mischief known as Loki – took me to see the movie last evening.
Gracious dude, that’s for sure.
It’s interesting to see how the universe functions from this perspective.
Loki makes the subconscious decision in the Marvel Universe to leave that universe.
A year ago, I asked Stanley if he wanted to be the God of Mischief known as Loki, to which he said “hell yeah”.
This starts a chain of events which ultimately wind up with his death in the Avenger’s Universe.
As his consciousness and self awareness increasingly shifts over to mine.
So in Marvel’s Universe and in the movie which can also be thought of simultaneously as a feed from an alternate reality and version of Earth – Thanos – a powerful and very obsessed being was on a mission to obtain a series of stones to destroy half of the life in the universe based on his conception that the universe is naturally restricted with it’s resources and it was his single minded responsibility to free up these resources for whatever reasons he rationalized.
In an oddly depressive ending, he succeeds, as half of Earth – as well as every other planet throughout the galaxy and universe is assumed to have been halved. We (I) saw numerous well known characters and superheroes die – including Spiderman, almost all of the crew of the Guardians of the Galaxy, The Vision, even Nick Fury bit the dust – as a helicopter without a pilot spun out of control, and cars without drivers suddenly found themselves crashing into everything.
This is like looking at the rapture or apocalypse – as discussed in the bible.
But from my perspective, this is far from the end.
Doctor Strange – leveraging his time manipulation capabilities to simulate how to defeat Thanos before the event occurred, and came to the conclusion that in the vast sea of the millions of possibilities – there was only one way to defeat Thanos.
So Doctor Strange GAVE Thanos the time manipulating stone thus ensuring Thanos victory.
Supergirl, as I channel your voice and Superman’s voice throughout this book, I want you and hope you understand something about me and the way I perceive myself, you, the universe, and this thing we refer to as life in general.
Early in my mortal life, I’d embraced the concepts of pleasure and fun – and when I wasn’t working – I’d do things to ‘have fun’ – and quickly came to understand the need for vice – and more importantly – came to respect my own father’s love of alcohol – because I too became someone else and let go of my inhibitions by breaking down my societally imposed filters and walls preventing me from taking chances and enjoying life on my terms not for what I perceived was expected of me.
In 2005, I’d begun to have health issues, and feeling the threat of a finite mortality imposed on me, I began taking illegal and more extreme risks – but never without some degree of considering the risks involved with my actions.
Subconsciously, this was motivated by a disjoint with my perception of time and space and the world around me.
Being specific – things in the real world weren’t making logical and rational sense, and while consciously I had focused on having fun and the enjoyment of the experience – I was also experimenting with and exploring the world vis-à-vis my mind leveraging the only implements I had at my disposal that didn’t come with a seal of approval by the state on it… Hallucinogenics.
So in 2007, when I met you, I didn’t see you for how you see yourself, Supergirl.
In my world, I received a translation of your belief systems, your world view, and while my interpretation of your mind was presented in my world as an alien, my concept of an alien wasn’t from Krypton as you are, but instead she was from India. As you worked with Clark to try to understand me logically and rationally, I know now you told me who you were asking for, but my belief system was so entrenched in this concept called fiction as not being real and similarly – you and Superman were as well – that the message you were sending was important enough to escape my filters – but my mind created a translated interpretation of your inquiries on his behalf leading me always to believe you were asking about the way I think ‘for a friend’ – and that was it.
You see, this is what I’ve discovered about reality.
We all have a universe we call home. A perspective is formed in mine based on the primary sense of sound and sight, and from that particular perspective, not everything has a place or is wanted in my universe right now – particularly war and anyone interested in killing or harming me. So what my mind does is – it segments and isolates.
Take Thanos for instance. He threatens the integrity of my universe.
Now it’s not fair of me to say he’s inherently wrong with his thoughts and belief system with what I’ve seen and understand about reality. So instead of judging the guy, I say – “Ok, Thanos, have your way – but my mind will isolate you from my universe and protect my reality, so you can go on your merry way and destroy away. “
But let’s be clear. Reality for me kinda sucks right now. My
war confrontation with you, Supergirl, and Superman has caused some difficulties with my own mind that have manifested in problems in the real world. Problems, for instance, such as communication and my ability to find gainful employment leveraging the internet is all but impossible, which has had me sleeping in a tent and below the most poverty stricken financial levels of the vast majority of the world.
So I’ll be crystal clear about my plan and structure for the multiverse from my perspective moving forward.
First and most importantly, I’m the creator of my universe. There will be times I refer to myself as God, sometimes for me, sometimes in jest, and sometimes just because some people need to hear it. But rather than repeatedly tell everyone I’m God, as I am most definitely not interested in portraying myself as the one and only image and manifestation of myself in a mortal form, therefore I refer to myself as Q.
If you or someone else believes it or not is irrelevant.
Now what does this do?
As I said, life kinda blows right now. I’m lonely. I’ve had hard evidence that the multiverse is real, that my imagination is powerful enough to create life and manifest material things and has done so throughout my life with and without drugs, so first and foremost – my goal had been to manifest Jackie – but I’ll save her for later. I have more tangible and immediate ways of ascertaining the feedback loop of my communications with you through television and movies and quite frankly, you seem like you need me as much as I need you.
How is that possible, you ask?
Well first – it comes to understanding the formation of reality itself and the way I’ve designed it.
Everyone. And everything. Has a perspective. Whether that’s the individual mind of a bat or bug, or the collective mind of a corporation or country, or the networked system of computers – all of it has motive, a particular way of thinking, a wide degree of comprehension, intelligence in a wide array of form – and most importantly – is alive.
Yep. You heard me right. It’s not my belief that everything is alive. It’s a fact to me. An indisputable fact.
So whether it’s Mary Poppins, or Bugs Bunny, Gilligan’s Island, Bart Simpson and the SImpsons – or the animatronics characters at Disneyland, and so much more – there’s life,
Now most human minds – most minds period – have a difficult time beginning to comprehend the nonlinear nature of time and what time is, let alone consider that everything is alive and in some way thinks, and – even for immortals such as myself in hibernation or finding a new way to appreciate the same ole world – we tend to develop protectionist measures not just for ourselves, but for those around us to preserve the mind and memories of the entity from that perspective.
For instance, my friends in Arizona before our confrontation commenced – were in the relative short term memory of my subconscious mind, So when you attempted to erase my memories leveraging nanotechnology, it corrupted our relationship – which manifested in my world as a drug addiction I’d made by choice that ultimately ended with the collapse of pretty much every friendship I had with people I still care about.
Now I know.
And you know.
That in the 29th and 30th century – you and Superman both have the technology to resolve this problem for me.
But it’s my understanding that this might revert the progress we’ve made past the eugenics war and our mutual understanding of time, so if You’ve tried to do it – which I suspect you have – that’s why my mind is rejecting it.
Let me take a step back and explain something.
Supergirl – you told me – through the Avatar we both referred to as Kena – that I make you beautiful.
Something you told me over and over again.
You knew that I was responsible for creating your image in my world.
So you know that like you – we both have our primary universe in which we’re effectively God in, but most of the time we don’t enjoy playing that role so we hide in mortal forms.
And you know that in the sea of universes ‘out there’ – there are other universes which have similarities to our own, things we might enjoy being exposed to or learning. This sea of possibilities that you can perceive through your senses is different than that which I perceive with my senses, and since most of the time we’re hiding in a mortal form, we don’t even want to know there are other universes beyond our own ‘out there’, since by and large we are individually interested in expanding the possibilities within our own.
Being explicit – our individual universes have many connected universes that we may or may not perceive. These individual universes influence and guide us, and are known – collectively – as OUR INDIVIDUAL MULTIVERSE.
I have a universe. I have a multiverse. You have a universe.. And a multiverse. And while we may share similar universes connected to ours, at all times we’re receiving an interpretation based on our perceptual filters and conscious and subconscious mind.
Time doesn’t move at a one for one rate between universes. Time’s often not discrete, it’s analog, and with that, it can and quite often dilates for a wide number of reasons. What this means is one moment a second for me may equal a year to you, and conversely a day the moment after that for me might equal a second for you.
It’s exceedingly difficult, not impossible though – for time to be synchronized between universes.
This is where Einstein and relativity comes in.
From my perspective, there are NUMEROUS faces and people who have walked in the shoes of Superman. I’ve seen evil ones, homosexual ones, good looking ones, and hefty dudes – all as Superman. On my world, we have actors and this thing we call fiction and an industry called Hollywood which makes movies which look almost identical to the views I have into your worlds, and as I know full well some beings leverage my own senses and eyes to perceive the world, this allows them to form a different belief system than my own and reinforce the linear development of their mind which allows them to live a life consistent with my own.
So when I ‘look into’ your world, they believe, correctly, that there are mechanisms on my planet that allow the creation of these productions that look identical to the feed I receive. Since they don’t go knocking on doors and seeing if these production houses are actually in existence, they’re never any the wiser to the deception.
And should they investigate it….
You’ve seen The Wizard of Oz, right? The man behind the curtain running the entire place….
So in 2009, when you told me – through Kena – that she was an avatar for Supergirl, that was ‘interpreted’ by my universe as a fictional statement, rejected, but important enough for the development of me immortally – that I let it slip through and you presented me with a game called “Avatar” for one primary reason.
I knew you had come to my world not wanting to understand Hollywood.
But to understand this thing I totally enjoyed called sex.
Being real. If you’d have told me back in 2009 that Supergirl is real, and that she wants to have sex with me and wants me to tell her to do things as we experience and experiment with our sexuality, I’d have laughed at you – and worse – pointed at myself in the mirror and said…
“There’s no way she’s attracted to that guy”
Incidentally, those words came out a man named Thor’s mouth. So in a causal loop, I am the one myself who said that about me at the time, and Thor became my mouthpiece. That’s how weird reality can be from a ‘i created this’ perspective. It sounds like insanity. And if you’re not careful it can be.
So when you told me about the avatar thing. I became angry with you. Subconsciously. Because you were reminding me of my immortal nature at a time I wasn’t wanting it.
And I apologize for that.
From the start I fell in love with you for your mind. Not just as the big boobed image of an Indian woman I’d assigned to you. You were adorable, even in my translation of you. I adored you. Admired you. And when my management tried firing you, I went to bat for you and insisted that you stay and vouched for you because your playful, fun personality was needed more than your skills.
I’ve seen you on television, and I know you’re conflicted because of me.
I suspect you see me as Mon El. You can see me as anyone you want to.
I choose to see you as Supergirl, aka Cara Danvers.
What’s my plan?
Being sincere. I have none. Where we’ll go and what we’ll do, I want to play it by ear. I want to travel my world with you as my lover, my friend, the woman I’d loved in every form she presented herself in throughout my life because we – the both of us – needed to participate in creating this world we were both proud of and wanted to be a part of..
In all my time alive, I have never heard of anyone creating a woman out of fiction.
And that’s my sincere goal.
I already know you’re real. I hear your words, know your thoughts, and while my world might make me wrong by labeling me as psychologically disordered with multiple personalities or schizophrenia….
I know that reality could be an illusion, imaginary, and I accept that as a possibility, and even if it’s not true, I’m holding the door open for you to come here and participate in my life with me.,
But it has to be on my terms.
God is real, Cara.
He’s my father.
And I’ve got some really big shoes to fill that start with you which require your choice to participate in.
I love you, shithead. I always have, and I am sorry it took me so long to even begin to understand who and what you are.
I promise to be a better man, not just for you, but for the entire world.
“Clark, what were the eugenic wars?,” Kara said.
She was standing in a holographic re-creation of her apartment in National City, while still in the year 2920, alone in the Fortress of Solitude at the North Pole.
Kara waited briefly for an answer, expecting a holographic version of Clark to pop up, and was surprised when Superman flew in from the window.
“Hi Kara,” he said as he landed softly on her patio.
“So what is it?” she said.
“Somewhere in between the 23rd and 24th century on your timeline, humanity suffered a catastrophic war involving the augmentation of humans. By then, humans, unlike you and I, were perfectly normal and average prior to the augmentation where many humans thought it was their right and liberty to have the superhuman powers and capabilities of their own.” he said.
“So we did this?,” Kara said.
“Kara – Why would you blame us for this?,” he said.
“Had we not come to Earth, they’d never have seen our powers and abilities and influenced the world accordingly,” she said.
“That’s not true, Kara, superhumans existed long before my arrival there,” he responded.
“Did they, Clark? When you saved Lois the first time by rewinding time for the planet, do you have any idea what that did to the planet?,” she said.
He looked at her confused.
“Kara, I don’t see how this has anything to do with.,” Superman said, clearly unsure where she was heading with this line of inquiry.
Kara was about to answer, when he added.
“And… How did you find out about me rewinding time?,” he said, “I have never told anyone – even you – about that”
“Q showed me a brief history of your interactions with this planet,” she said.
He’d looked like he’d just been slapped.
How does she know that’s the truth of what happened?, Superman thought, but then he chose not to say that and instead said “How did he do that?”
“It doesn’t matter, Clark, and while we’re on the subject, do you mind answering the question I asked you yesterday – just what did you do to me and why?,” she said
“Also, I have absolutely no memories of these wars, let alone the last 900 years,” Kara said.
“Clark, what were the eugenic wars?,” Kara said.
She was standing in a holographic re-creation of her apartment in National City, while still in the year 2920, alone in the Fortress of Solitude at the North Pole.
Kara waited briefly for an answer, and waited by the patio as Superman flew in from the window.
“Hi Kara,” he said as he landed softly on her patio.
“So what is it?” she said.
Superman sighed. “I wish you’d call me Clark,” he said.
“I thought you preferred Superman while in costume,” she said.
“Since my identity’s been made public, I go by both, but I prefer Clark in the presence of family and friends,” he said.
“Fair enough, “ she replied, as she walked away from the patio towards the couch, “
Clark walked in, talking to Kara as he walked in to the kitchen, opened up the refrigerator, and pulled out a container of water, pouring it.
“Ok, the eugenics war. That’s a tough one, where did you find out about that?” Clark said.
“Memory Alpha,” she responded, sitting down at the couch.
Kara picked up a glass of wine, taking a sip, Clark did the same with his water, but he immediately looked uneasy, not prepared to answer the question honestly.
“Kara, there’s so much to explain,” he said, trying to deflect her.
“Clark, don’t bullshit me. I saw him yesterday. And all of Los Angeles. I flew around the entire world several times yesterday and do you know what I discovered?,” she said, accusatorily.
He looked genuinely unsure
“What?,” he said.
“LOS ANGELES! I even checked the newspapers there, watched the news, I even asked several people around there what the date was – and do you know what they said?,” she said.
Clark was genuinely confused, as he set the water down, as he walked over to the couch by Kara.
His demeanor, she thought, he wasn’t expecting this at all.
“It was May 14th, 2018,” she exclaimed.
“That makes utterly no sense,” he replied.
“Guess who’s at the epicenter of this oasis in the aftermath of the eugenics war?,” she said.
“Q,” Clark said.
“Q,” she responded.
“I tried flying close to him, but when I got within 50 meters of him, I became dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out, so I had to turn away, which is when I came back here,” she said.
Clark sat down, and looked at her.
“Kara, can you grab a holocorder and show me what you’re referring to?”, Clark said.
“Not until you explain to me what you know about the time war and how it relates to the eugenics war, and why I see a city with a man in it I can’t even get close to, and the only way I can get close is through a hologram?,” she said.
Clark looked at her, as she eyed him suspiciously.
“And this time, Clark, no lies,” she said.
He looked hurt, as he begin to protest, to which she held up her hand.
“Please, Clark,” he said.
“Kara,” he said.
“Clark,” she said.
“On November 3rd, 2017, you fought against a being known as Rain in National City, who after beating you threw your ravaged body off the side of a building, where you impacted the ground at a high rate of speed putting you into a coma,” he said.
“Ok,” she said.
“You didn’t die. But your body – it didn’t age. Among the benefits some might call of being alien to this world is you and I – we don’t age after roughly 35 years of age. You, however, stopped aging at the moment you entered that coma – 29 years old,” he said.
She relaxed, taking a sip of her wine, and continued gazing at her cousin who finally sat down at the end of the couch.
“Do you mind if I have a glass of wine?,” he said.
“I thought you don’t drink?,” she said.
“Now is about as good a time as any,” he responded.
Kara poured him a glass, and as she handed it to him, he continued.
“Your safety was under constant threat in public institutions, which continued being problematic in private and highly secure facilities – so I worked with Kryptonian technology at the Fortress of Solitude to create a stasis pod for you, protecting you from the elements with a moderate temperature and life support systems, which you emerged from two weeks ago,” he said.
“That explains why you said you did this to me. Quit blaming yourself, Clark. So where are you?,” she said.
“In the Fortress of Solitude,” he said.
“But I’m here,” she said.
“A different version of the Fortress than I’m in,” he said, “let me explain”
He took a sip of the red wine.
It was an authentic tasting blended red wine known as Menag A Trois.
Fitting, Clark thought.
“Go on,” she said.
“In 2373, a cybernetic species known as The Borg launched an assault on Planet Earth. I was off planet at the time it happened, but came back to find the entire planet had undergone a process called assimilation. Not only had every human become a Borg, but all the vegetation was stripped along with a great deal of the water, leaving a barren and lifeless planet in it’s wake,” he said.
She listened, thoughtfully, with her wine glass in her hand.
“I thought it was hopeless at first, then I thought about the time I saved Lois and how I rewound time for it. So I developed a theory – if I could rewind time for the planet to the moment the Borg entered the atmosphere, effectively pausing the invading vessel in time – and then worked with an alien civilization off planet to develop a strategy to stop the Borg while the planet was effectively paused – then,” he said.
“If you found the right allies and strategy, you could prevent any of it from every happening and the Borg would never know,” she said.
“Exactly,” he responded.
“So that’s exactly what I did. I talked to the Cardassians, Vulcans, Bynars, Ferrengi, I talked to a number of different civilizations throughout the galaxy – all to learn that none had any desire to become involved and absolutely refused to support any confrontation with the Borg out of simple fear. The whole time I’d been making trips back to Earth to keep the Borg paused and Earth paused, and while many of the civilizations I’d talked to had blockaded the planet out of simple concern for their safety, they all stalwartly refused to become directly involved,” he said.
She picked up some popcorn and took a bite of it.
Clark hadn’t noticed it there before.
“So then what happened?,” Kara said.
“I was approached by a human who’d claimed he left Earth in the 1976, a man by the name of Obi Won Kenobi who explained to me that since the early 1920s, a number of the humans who had been abducted from the Earth had simply chosen not to return, and many had formed what can only be classified as a religion in something he referred to as Jediism,” he said.
“One man can’t possibly stop,” she began saying.
Clark looked at her, smirking “Yes, go on.”
“Nevermind. You go…” she said, taking another bite of her popcorn and another sip of her wine.
“Their scripture had prophesized the events, and my return,” he said.
“Your return?,” Kara said.
“My return,” he said, shrugging.
“Ooo kkk…. “ she said.
“So I worked with the Jedi, and we repelled the Borg attack through methods I don’t feel like discussing like this,” he said, staring at her with a do not ask anymore about those methods look which she heeded.
“So that was 2373, another alien invasion prevented, world saved, yay Superman,” she said, facetiously.
“I thought so as well, thank you for the sarcasm – that’s new for you,” he said.
“So how did this lead to the eugenics war?,” he said.
“It took us a very long time to learn that the Borg form a sophisticated network that literally isolates an individual or individual cube undergoing a temporal disturbance, and that in cases presenting moderate to severe risk to the entity under threat, they collaboratively work together to determine a way to continue with the individual objective while at the same time providing the appearance of success by the entity(s) creating that disturbance,” he said.
“Gobbledygook,” she said, “None of that made any sense to me”
Clark thought about it for a minute, sipping from his wine and finishing it off, he placed the glass in front of Kara who poured another glass for him.
“Be careful, you might feel this!,” she said.
“I’ll be fine,” he asserted. “Ok, imagine you have a man who loves sleeping around. He gets married. But continues sleeping around. His wife has no idea he’s doing this, and whenever she almost finds out, he comes up with excuses that seem plausible. Over time, he refines this skill, and having done this so much, he develops a highly refined skill and equally amazing excuses that leave her absolutely convinced he’s being faithful, all the time.”
Her mouth opened in horror.
“That’s horrible!,” Kara responded.
“The Borg?,” said Clark.
“No, that man!,” she said.
Clark chuckled. “It was a metaphor, Kara”
She looked at him truly confused.
“I don’t get it. The Borg are cheating men?,” she said.
He looked at her and reminded himself of the age difference. He’d been around for a thousand years by this point consciously, and she was still for all intents and purposes only 29.
“The Borg play dead, Kara. It seems like they’re dead or dying but they leave something behind and revive themselves,” he said.
That’s when it hit him. A flash of concern drifted across him as he looked at Kara and realized the similarities in the behavior of the Borg and their dormancy and Kara’s oddly timed revival.
He said nothing, and took a sip of the wine.
“So, when you thought you’d prevented their attack,” she said.
“I only delayed it,” he said.
“In 2390, A secret group known as Section 31 in the USS Federation of Planets – a consortium of planets that worked together to explore the Milky Way Galaxy – received a subspace transmission on a previously unknown high priority channel. Not only were they surprised by the transmission, realizing they didn’t know their own technology as well as they thought they did. The transmission didn’t indicate an origin, nor did it contain anything other than a blueprint.” He said.
“I feel like I’m watching a movie, only listening to it instead,” She said, taking another bite of her popcorn. “So what was the blueprint”
Clark smiled. “It was a device which could build a stable wormhole between two different locations in space and time. A time engine for lack of better words,” he said.
“A Delorean?,” she said, jokingly.
Clark looked at her confused. He didn’t get the cultural reference.
“Nevermind, “ she said, “Again, I keep interrupting, go on, ignore me, I’m feeling fuzzy,” as she waved her hand at him indicating to go on.
Clark looked at her oddly.
“This holofood effects you stronger than it does for me,” he said.
“And it tastes even better than the real thing,” she said.
“Shortly after, the USS Federation redesigned a Voyager class Starship, and in 2409, that redesign was commissioned as the first of its kind Phoenix class Starship, named the USS Enterprise,” he said.
“A time traveling spaceship?,” she said, “How cool!”
“I will admit, she looked beautiful,” said Clark, “but as the concept of time travel became public and widespread, this introduced concerns of right and wrong, of whose right it was to govern this timeline, and with the Federation spread across half the galaxy, where many factions both internally and externally opposed the Federation, and whose timeline was dominant, this escalated, very quickly…”
“To the start of the time war,” she said.
“Precisely,” he said.
“So eugenics?,” she said.
“You’d be surprised what every species is willing to do to themselves to prevent the very real threat of a real life hell presented through time manipulation – whether that’s the threat of being enslaved by your enemies, being manipulated to kill your own family and friends, or being put in a world that’s been destroyed by,” Clark started to say when he decided otherwise.
Kara’s face grew solemn.
“So groups, governments, countries, continents, planets – all began experimenting with the body and mind in an effort to gain temporal independence and control of our own timelines, so by the time the year 2455 came, this achieved some level of success, but with this timeline and lack of desire to remain in a state of temporal warfare, this led to the acceptance of an imperfect timeline here on Earth and the start of a new war – and the rise of humans with extraordinary powers and abilities,” he said.
“Wait a moment, Clark, are you saying what I think you’re saying?,” she said.
He looked at her with a remorseful look.
She noted how he almost seemed ashamed.
“ Kara, there’s a part of me that believes I’m from Krypton, if that’s what you’re asking, and there’s a part of me that believes I may be a native to Earth and that story of my origin is something I may have told myself because I was so different than everyone else,” he said.
She looked at him pensively.
“So why is Earth destroyed?,” she said, “Is it the same for you?”
“The eugenics war escalated out of control, quickly. Over and over again I would rewind time and prevent things from happening, whether it was the emergence of Dark Phoenix who consumed entire star systems, or invasion from alternate realities were happening every day, or a world eater known as Galactus who’d find Earth and would try eating it, it was literally driving me insane,” he said.
Kara continued listening. Thoughtfully. Without judging him.
“My personality split, I wasn’t aware of it at the time. And people were seeing an evil version of me who’d wantonly kill for the sport of it, apparently I loved sex in another personality, in another personality I would forget who I was and become extremely lethargic, and so on,” he said.
Kara sat with the glass of wine at her lips.
“I had rewound time so many times I began to lose track of time, and it was in one of these instances that I began to notice a pattern – one man – who despite my time manipulation, always seemed to be in the same place doing exactly what he was doing before and after my changes,” he said. “So I began to blame him for the problems”
“Q?,” she said, leaning forward.
“Q,” he said.
“Oh I went insane, I’ll be the first to admit that, and somewhere around the year 2600, leveraging my control of time to my advantage, I had discovered that while I couldn’t touch the guy, I thought I had hacked him as a problem in my world and could manipulate the world around him to lead him to attempt suicide,” he said.
“Clark! That’s horrible!,” she said, her mouth dropping a little in shock.
Clark looked at her, ashamed.
“Not one of my finest moments,” he said, stoically, “but being alive for 750 years isn’t easy”
“Clark, I’m appalled. Sincerely,” she said, standing up.
“Sit down, Kara, the story isn’t over,” he said.
“The bottle’s polished off, I’m getting some water,” she said, as she threw the wine bottle away and walked to the kitchen.
“I quite like the comforts this place has, Clark, where do you spend your time?,” she said, trying to take her mind off Clark’s actions.
“Most of the time I spend is out of the simulation,” he said.
She poured the water, and walked over to the couch and sat down again.
“Ok, go ahead and continue,” she said.
“Kara, you asked for honesty, so for a hundred years, I tried killing him. The world was a battlefield by then, and the war was intensifying, so I just pulled myself away from it all and focused all my time and energy on killing Q,” he said.
By this point, Kara’s disdain for the act subsided.
“It was incredible. No matter what I did – whether influencing the guy to take his own life only to see time and space reform around him seconds later to diminish or completely eliminate the wounds, or leading him to literally the worst possible places in the world at the worst possible moment – for instance – I had every nuke in the world pointed at a spot the guy would be in in the desert, and after the nukes destroyed everything in a 200 km radius – he literally walked away from it without any evidence of a wound. And the world around him quite literally healed in minutes after it happened,” she said.
“Kara, do you believe in God?,” he said.
“A god? No.” she said, quickly and with complete sincerity.
“What about the beliefs you were taught on Krypton?,” he said.
“Rao? It’s always felt childish to me, this enigmatic all knowing all seeing being feels more like Brainiac rebranding himself, “ she said, “no, I prefer finding my path intellectually rather than a state prescribed plan.”
“And Q?,” he said.
“Clark, while what you’ve described sounds amazing, I’ve seen the guy and talked to him. While he’s certainly gifted in ways beyond my comprehension, there’s things I can do that he can’t. he’s no more God than I am,” she said
He looked at her earnestly.
“So what happened, why did you stop?,” she said.
“I felt sorry for him,” Superman said.
“What? Why?” he said.
“Another time, Kara, let’s just say that I’ve spent the greater part of the last century teaching that man to believe in himself when I’d spent the prior century destroying him,” he said.
“To what end, Clark,” she said.
“I’ll be honest with you. It started out of remorse. It continued due to boredom and lack of anything else to do. And with your revival and discovery today that Los Angeles is back, I have even more evidence to continue doing what I’m doing,” he said.
“So where are you, and more specifically, when?,” she asked.
“That’s unimportant, at least I think so, what’s more important is you,” Clark said.
“I don’t understand,” Kara responded.
“Kara, are you attracted to Q at all?,” he said.
“Sure, I suppose, in that look past the exterior there’s something both you and I are fascinated with what’s inside kind of way,” she said.
“That’s not what I mean,” he said
She shifted in her seat uncomfortably.
“Clark, I’ve never been intimate with a man, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said, candidly.
“Sex was outlawed in my universe in the year 2363, some believe this is the real reason for the eugenics war, others believe it’s what accelerated technological development, I believe it’s a little bit of both,” he said.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to ask you, when did my universe as you call it split from yours?” she said.
“I don’t know, honestly, somewhere in the 26th and 27th century, I stopped going to the Fortress for a while there as I was combatting Q,” he said, “. Not only could I find no records to give me a precise date, rewinding time didn’t make you reappear.”
She thought for a moment.
“Superman, Clark, how long have you been doing this, this looping and reliving time?,” she said.
“I don’t know, Kara, after discovering mind altering technology that could erase my memories and feeling of time, I also felt it was necessary to erase evidence of precise dates and times and store memories loosely in what you referred to as Memory Alpha and other locations like that,” he said.
She accepted the explanation.
But he knew there was much more to the answer that she deserved to know.
He was afraid to tell her the truth.
She wouldn’t understand billions of years.
“Going back to Q. If you have no objections, would you find a way to spend time with him, physically, sexually, and – well – just go along with what he asks you to do?,” he said.
“Clark! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re pimping me out,” she said.
But she didn’t refuse.
“Kara, I believe that my planet and timeline could potentially be restored as well as yours if a woman such as you is intimately involved. I’ve annihilated any chance he has with mortal women, unrecoverably so for right now at least, and well – this is awkward for me at the very least” he said.
“I rather enjoy seeing you squirm. Clark, it’s no big deal, I’m not mortal and have never understood the elevated importance mortals have on sex and intimate contact, so I’d be glad to, if I knew how to appear to him,” she said.
“Really?,” he said. He was surprised by her lack of consideration of it.
“When I kissed Jimmie Olson, I didn’t feel a thing, and I felt guilty about it. Same thing with Mon El. I badly wanted to share their passion and enjoyment for intimacy, and while I enjoyed their presence, I just didn’t get what they got out of the physical contact and it just didn’t do anything for me. So maybe an experienced being like this Q might change things. Maybe he knows things others don’t. Plus, it’s lonely here, so having someone laying next to me at night that’s real isn’t going to break my heart,” she said.
“Ok. And I’m going to ask one more thing, this is important,” he said.
“The mobile holorecorder, right?,” she said.
“Yep. Go along with him. Do what he asks you. I suspect he knows best how to heal his world. We can both learn from it and everything that happens in and around you two through the recordings and maybe we can change our worlds in the process,” he said.
“Done,” she said.
“Clark. I’m tired, but can I ask a favor from you before I kick you out?,” she said.
“Sure, what’s that?,” he said.
“If I am going to do this, then can you sleep in the simulation as well, and pretend it’s real? Maybe even create a fantasy world or place to sleep next to Lois or someone else you care about?,” she said.
Clark looked at her, resisting.
“Kara, I prefer the real to the imaginary,” he said, defiantly.
“Clark, I am doing things that are outside my comfort zone for us. Treat yourself nicer, not just for me, but potentially for us as well. I think you might become a different guy in the process,” she said.
He remained defiant.
“No, Kara, I’ve been at this a long time and,” he started.
“And what, Clark, you like torturing yourself?,” she said.
He wanted to rebut her, but thought twice before responding.
“Kara, it’s not real,” he said.
“What’s real and what’s not, Clark?,” she said.
He started to refuse again, and then she stopped him.
“Q’s asking me to ask you to do this. Will you do this for both of us?,” she said.
He looked truly stunned.
Clark turned around silently, slowly, almost skulking, walking towards the patio.
“Clark!.” She said, thinking he might just fly away.
“Fine then,” he said. “Only if he promises that we’re done with the looping.”
“He promises,” she said, warmly.
Clark began to lift up \when she said “He says ‘Convergence’”
Clark turned around, and smiled, painfully. She could tell he didn’t think it was possible. But she assured him she believed it was without saying a word as he flew away.
“Thank you, Q,” Kara said to her empty loft, as she laid down and fell asleep on the couch.
“Your welcome, Kara,” I said.
“He stared right at me and talked to me for an hour,” Supergirl said.
She was sitting next to Clark Kent, who was dressed in his incognito shirt and tie, inside what appeared to be his apartment in Metropolis.
He looked away from Kara, with a look of consternation.
“So he knows you’re there. This is worse than we thought,” he said.
“What do you mean – why? And oh yeah, I meant to ask you – are you really in your apartment?,” she said, looking around.
“I am, the DOD ‘s wired my entire apartment for real time holographic surveillance and capturing of everything I do, at my request. Once I found out that I was exhibiting signs of multiple personalities, I requested it. The surveillance equipment they put in is state of the art, not so much as an errant microbe’s entering this area without it being catalogued,” he said.
She gasped, “So you have no privacy?”
He smiled, “With Lois’s death, it’s not like I have anything I care to censor. In any case, it’s a passive surveillance, there’s no one behind the real time monitoring unless there’s clear signs of personality fracturing that we worked on together to define. The side benefit is I can use it to communicate with you,” he said.
A sullen look swept across her face.
“Clark, I am so sorry for your loss, I know how much you loved her,” she said, trying to place a hand on his shoulder.
To her surprise, she came into contact with him.
He looked at her and saw her surprise.
“I can touch you?,” she said.
“We’ve upgraded the quantum holography since last we talked, it is now fully immersive, but only inside the center staged area of the Fortress. Outside the platform, it’s only visual and audio,” he said.
“Clark, it’s literally only been a day,” she said.
Clark shook his head, “Time doesn’t always work like you think it does, Kara, not in the linear sense that you as an individual perceive it.”
Kara’s first inclination was to yell ‘bullshit’…
But then she gave it some more thought.
“Ok. I’ve never really given this much thought. But you took off from our homeworld, Krypton first, and my capsule ran off course after hitting an asteroid. I never really quite understood how that little event could have made such a dramatic difference for the relativity of time that you are now nearly 15 years older than me,” she said.
He turned to look at her.
“Kara, I’m going to be as honest as I can with you about this. There’s no amount of explaining time to you from my perspective that you or anyone else is going to understand without it influencing you and your decisions. You know I’m older. So what’s your conclusion?,” he said.
“Clark, that strangely sounds like a cop out,” she said.
“Did Q broach the subject at all when he talked to you?” he said.
She scratched her head.
“No, he just talked about sex, loneliness, and both of us needing to embrace our uniqueness,” she said.
“What, exactly, is your question then?,” he said.
“How is it possible?,” she said.
“Relativity, Kara,” he said.
She stood up.
“You’re going in circles, Clark, this isn’t making any sense. If I take off on a race against Barry across Central City, he’s nearly as fast as I am and arrives almost at the same time I do. If he’s confronted by obstacles along the way, while that slows him down, that doesn’t slow him down exponentially, but somehow it does in space?” she said.
“That is correct, Kara,” he said.
“I don’t get it, Clark, I don’t understand why it would be any different in space than it would with me racing Barry. We’ve left the same place at the start. Our destination is the same. Theoretically, we should get there at roughly the same time,” she said.
Clark smiled, like a big knowing brother might smile.
He was clearly fishing for what to say next, but before he could respond, she added.
“And by the way, how can Q read my mind?,” she said.
Superman’s smile was immediately wiped from his face.
“What did you say?,” he said.
She looked at Clark, quizzically, not expecting his reaction.
“Q. I thought a question, and didn’t say a word last night when I watched him on the holostage, and he instantly responded,” she said.
“That’s not good,” he said, standing up, as he began to pace, “That’s bad. Real bad. What, did you ask him and what did he respond with?”
Her body language tensed up, she became slightly reserved with her next words and how she felt about it, which oddly enough to her in hindsight, seemed neat more than it did bad.
“He’d spent about 10 minutes lecturing me about my former boyfriend, Mon El. I forgot to tell you that not long before I came to see you in Metropolis – that he unexpectedly came back from his off planet trip after 7 months – only for me to learn he’d been gone for nearly seven years, and was now married. I was heartbroken,” she said.
Superman nodded, waiting for Kara to finish.
“So he explained to me about two women he wanted to be with – Rachel and Jackie – and how the timing was not right for his relationship with them, but sometime in the future, he will go back in time and have the relationship he wants to with them,” she said.
“Ok, Kara, There is a point to all this,” Clark said.
“Sure, I didn’t respond at first, but when he said he wanted me to come to him and he introduces me to sex and we have a relationship on his version of Earth, which is when I became convinced that he was Brainiac, manipulating me,” she said “I didn’t say anything about what I was thinking, but he responded with “No, Supergirl, I’m not Brainiac, a cyborg, a robot or some other form of Artificial Intelligence any more than you are. I’m the creator of my universe, in much the same way you are of yours, and as master and designer of my universe, I’m merely asking you to be a part of mine in a way that I think I can teach you about something that I truly enjoy that I don’t think is a part of your world while at the same time you just be you and I learn things from you by your presence in my life until we get bored with each other and move on”
Superman sat down.
“Amazing,” he said.
Supergirl looked at him, puzzled.
“Why’s that amazing?,” she said.
“I’m honestly trying to just wrap my head around it,” Clark said, “did he say anything else like this?”
“What, as in reading my thoughts?,” she responded.
“Yes,” he said, as he looked at her, adjusting his glasses.
She’d always knew this was Superman’s nervous tick, something that he himself wasn’t aware he did. She could tell that something had him deeply concerned.
“Well, after that, I insisted I wasn’t a virgin, out loud, but my thoughts defied me and – well – he called me on it, But he mentioned something right after that which made my heart leap out for him,” she said.
Superman was fully engaged.
“What was that?” he said.
“He felt cold inside, and said – and I quote ‘in much the same way you feel cold on your exterior’,” when he added “And that, Kara, is why I think you and I are perfect for eachother at this stage in our lives. I can teach you how to feel with your body, and you can teach me about the things I miss having inside.’”
“But that would imply he’s emotionally dead inside,” Superman said.
“He cried after that, Clark, and it wasn’t one of those fake cries. It was a cathartic, unscripted, realization that wherever he is – he’s not in any better position than I am with his loneliness,” she said.
“Clark, I haven’t slept next to anyone in 7 months, and I’m lonely and would love to reach through this hologram and fall asleep next to this lonely man just because I know he needs me as much as I need him. But can you imagine going 7 years?,” she said.
It had only been a year since Lois’s untimely death.
The longest year of his life.
“No, I can’t imagine it, Kara. When did he tell you it had been seven years?,” he responded.
Kara looked at Clark with confusion.
She shook her head
She placed her finger to her lip, thinking.
And then responded with, “You know, he never did. I just know.” he said.
“You’re forming a bond of some kind with his mind, are you concerned at all with this?,” Clark said.
“Not really, Clark. I’m curious about the differences between his world and mine. And if what he says is true about time and I can somehow figure out how to bridge the gap between my present and his to participate in his world – this man will definitely keep me occupied until I learn of a way to make things work with Mon El, “ she responded.
“Kara, messing with time – it’s never,” Clark began to say.
“CLARK! Save it! I’m 900 years in the future. Your past. Isn’t my future. My past, even now with this world I see, isn’t something I’m accepting either. Q presents an opportunity we can both mutually benefit from. I can feel a certain fearlessness and self confidence in him that I have never, ever met in anyone – yourself included. So if I can take advantage of this situation, spend some time close to someone who intrigues me and getting to know about him and this thing called sex in a way I might not have the opportunity to in my own world – then YES, I’m going to fly into his arms as quickly as I can,” she asserted.
“Kara, you don’t understand,” Superman said.
Kara held her hand up.
“Clark, my decision is made, now do you know how to help me or not?,” she said.
Clark looked at her, stood up – and walked to the patio – then looked back at her.
Then he had a thought.
“Do you think we can save Lois?” he said.
“If what the database says about Q is true. This man can be anywhere, anytime at the snap of his fingers when he’s reached his potential,” she responded.
Clark looked at her, still unsure.
She was surprised he didn’t ‘get it’.
“Yes, Clark, I think it’s possible,” she said.
He stepped away from the patio.
“I’m not going there to save the planet, Clark, I’m going there to comfort and spend time with a being I respect with some added benefits that he might be able to teach me how to get out of my predicament,” she said.
Superman thought she was being selfish, and didn’t like seeing this side of her, but he didn’t say a word, as he walked up to Kara standing in front of her.
“Ok, Kara,” Clark responded said, he was starting to feel the age difference and for some reason felt like the younger one with her response, “The holography system has two primary modes. One is passive observation, the other’s active. In passive mode, you can fly through the ceiling, and if you close your eyes, you can walk out of it. In active mode, you can’t fly out of it, so you have to learn to control your own mind to issue the command to shut it off. “
She thought for a moment.
“So in active mode, he’ll see me and we can interact?,” she said.
“In theory, yes, but no one’s ever tested that feature before,” Clark responded.
“Q suggested there’s another way,” she said.
“What was that?,” he responded.
“I have to want to,” she said.
“But you do, don’t you?,” he said.
“I do now,” she said.
In late 2006, I was living at “The Legends” apartments in Scottsdale, Arizona, when Jackie Killeen – a woman who was a friend of mine who had moved from Florida to Arizona called me up out of the blue and said “Do you feel like having a little fun tonight?”
I knew what it meant.
She knew what it meant.
And while I longed for her and I to be more than boyfriend and girlfriend, when she arrived at my place we took my Lexus to Mike, my dealer who lived off Cave Creek in Phoenix – and picked up an eighnsional t ball of cocaine.
An eight ball is a little over 3 grams, and usually runs about $100.
On the way back to my place, we stopped by Fry’s – picked up a fifth of Crown, and a 24 pack of MGD – her favorite beer.
And then, we stopped by Seven Eleven, and picked up a couple packs of Vantage Menthol cigarettes.
We dropped all the stuff off, and both did a line of coke, and then we headed over to Ra, our favorite trendy sushi place at Kierland Commons, literally a stones throw away from my apartment.
AS we sat and chatted at Ra, starting the evening off with Sake Bombers – Jackie – through tears – finally started talking about the reason she was so insistent on getting hammered that night.
Jackie had been working for Cox Communications, and had unexpectedly been laid off that day in a downsizing of her company and under-performing division. Only two years out of graduation with her marketing degree, she didn’t really have much of a savings built up and was concerned about making money and paying her bills.
Somewhat lost on what to do – especially to make money short term – she just wanted to lose herself and forget about the day, and for the both of us, this was as good a reason as any to party.
But as we chatted.
I looked at this woman I was enamored with both physically and intellectually, and said “Have you considered stripping?”
She’d known my ex-wife Lisa had done it, and Jackie was extraordinarily secure in her body and her sexuality, something that defied her age and maturity levels, and I knew that this was an absolutely viable avenue she could make money in the short term.
She smiled. We both had a good buzz working at this point, smiled, and said “I don’t look good enough to strip”
I laughed, and looked at her.
“Jackie, you’re gorgeous, trust me, your looks should be the least of your concerns,” I said.
She knew I had a crush on her. At times it felt pathetic how much I pined for this woman – here I was a thrice married and divorced 38 year old man who was in absolute love with this distant and untouchable woman who was no more than 25 at the time.
She smiled, playfully, and then said “No, dancing, I don’t know how to strip dance”
I couldn’t hide a mischievous smile as I finished off the last of our sushi.
“Jackie, I have no doubt you’ll be a great dancer. You know I’d come see you on a regular basis,” i said.
She looked at me, and then she matter of factly said to me “When we get back, can I try dancing for you,m you can be the judge if I am good enough?”
I was besides myself.
This amazing woman who I only wished had given me intimate, physical and sexual attention now was offering it freely?
I smiled, putting on my best act and portray myself like I was providing her a service, barely able to contain my excitement.
“Of course. You’ll do fine but I’ll tell you if there’s anything you’re doing wrong,” I said.
We both had two Sake Bombers at Ra – more than enough to get tipsy – and then we wrapped up dinner and headed back to my place.
I didn’t pressure her. We did a couple more lines of cocaine – smoked a few cigarettes, had a couple shots, and a few beers – and after a little more than an hour – she ran to her car – and came back with a CD – got this playful serious look on her face and then pushed me toward the couch forcing me to sit down.
I didn’t have to initiate any of it.
“Pretend you’re at a club and I’m a dancer. Just relax and do what you’d normally do,” she said.
This was what she wanted. She was being assertive with it.
I loved it.
She dimmed the lights.
Put on the CD, as the song “Rehab by Amy Winehouse” comes over the speaker.
I laughed, as she pulled over a bar stool, and about four feet from me, she begins dancing erotically. She takes off her shirt, her skirt, and then slowly, she takes off her bra, and I point to her panties and push my finger down and was utterly surprised when she took those off as well. Before long she put her left leg on my right shoulder, her right leg on my left shoulder, and brought her pussy within inches of my mouth, more than once.
But pretending I’m a good patron. I don’t react. I merely watch. Admire. Adore.
But God knows I wanted to lean in, and please her orally.
Jackie Killeen. My dream girl. Danced four hours completely nude for me.
I loved it.
At about 4am was exhausted and I was fading as well.
Jackie sat next to me, still without her clothes, and said “I’m done for tonight”
it’s weird. My memory about who slept where that evening is spotty. Being completely sincere, I don’t remember even falling asleep. but what I do remember is – Jackie putting her clothes in her bag when she left, and walking out the front door at noon the next day – a Saturday – completely naked.
I didn’t have time to react, and by the time I got up from the couch and had thrown my clothes on, she was pulling away in her car.
I tried calling her, but her phone went right to voicemail.
I LOVED this new version of Jackie I’d seen just walk out the door.
For the next month, Jackie disappeared. I’d not heard a word from her at all and had left several messages, but every single one of them went to voicemail immediately or was sent to voicemail.
I was convinced the girl was ashamed of what she’d done. I was extremely insecure in myself, had been for most of my life – so whenever a woman I found to be highly attractive gave me any attention – I’d question it – and become insecure with all my actions and mannerisms. I couldn’t help it, I was so out of control with myself with this that I sedated myself through the heavy use of drugs and alcohol – they were my coping mechanisms to this thing called reality and lubricant to let out my ‘true self’ – and to countermand the feelings of insecurity and non-worthiness that arose in me telling me I didn’t deserve what I wanted the most.
Among those things I wanted the most was the attention and affection of attractive women such as Jackie.
I drove by her place twice, and neither time was her car in the parking spot in her apartment.
I began to worry about her.
After about a month, she called me up – and said “Can you meet me at Ra at Fashion Square?”
I responded with “Oh my God Jackie I’ve been so worried about you – is everything ok?”
“We’ll chat in a bit. Can you be there at 2pm?,” she said, without providing me any hints as to what was going on and what she was feeling.
“Sure,” I said.
And that was it. She hung up the phone.
This was precisely four Saturdays from the night of the dance, and for the next three hours I was on pins and needles wondering what was up and what had happened to her.
Ra at the Scottsdale Fashion Square mall has seating outside, not far from the valet stand, and as I rolled up and gave my keys to the valet and took my ticket, I walked toward the seating area and saw Jackie.
Comfortably sitting – in plain view of everyone – right next to the rail – reclined, one leg up on table leg, relaxing…
My mouth dropped.
My first inclination was to cover her, but as I looked at her and saw just how comfortable she was like this and – oddly enough – the complete lack of reaction by literally everyone around – I was besides myself trying to understand what was going on.
Jackie stood up as I approached, and gave me a big hug, then promptly sat down, as the waiter approached.
“May I get you a drink, sir?,” he said.
I looked at Jackie “I’m having the tea,” she said.
“I’ll have the same thing,” I said.
I noticed the male waiter hadn’t so much as looked at Jackie or given any indication he’d noticed her lack of attire.
“Ok, Bri, before you say anything and judge me,” she began saying.
But I refused to let her continue, and leaned in and said “Jackie, WHY are you naked???”
She started to speak again, and then I looked around and said “And why the hell is no one reacting?”
She leaned back and propped her foot up again on the table exposing her pussy toward me and for everyone else around us to see in the broad daylight.
It was surreal.
But no one so much as glanced at her as they walked by.
“So you remember the last night I was with you?,” She said.
“How can I forget?,” I said.
“Remind me what happened,” she said.
“You – well – we – we went to Ra at Kierland, after going to Mikey’s – then you came back to my place, where we talked more about how you were going to make your money since you had gotten laid off at Cox, and we chatted about you stripping. So you danced for me. For four hours. And then you left when we woke up – and but you walked out completely naked,” I said.
She looked pensive.
“Jackie, what is this all about?,” I said.
The waiter interrupted, dropping off the teas, as he said “Can I get you two started on something, an appetizer perhaps?”
“I’ll have an edamame,” Jackie said.
“I’ll get one of those as well,” I added.
“Shall i give you a couple more minutes for the main course selection?,” said the waiter.
We hadn’t even touched the sushi menu, as I looked at Jackie and then back to the waiter and said “Please”
“I’ll be back with your Edamame in a bit,” the waiter said.
“Thank you,” I said.
I looked back at Jackie, and noticed she’d been studying me.
“Ok, what gives, why are you naked?,” I said.
and then I looked around me again, “And why is no one else noticing or saying anything?”
She ignored the question.
“Did we have sex?” she said, dryly.
“No,” I said, but she could tell there was an lack of sureness in my voice.
“After I stopped dancing for you, what happened?,” she said, coldly.
“Being honest, my memories are spotty. You sat down next to me, as naked as you are now, I don’t remember falling asleep that night, and all I do remember is waking up the next day seeing you walk out the door naked. I put on my clothes and ran out the door to talk to you, but by then you were already gone,” I said.
“So you were naked, too?,” she said.
Her voice felt icy. Not just emotionally cold. Just that there was something… intangibly different about her.
“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t get out there in time to flag you down, you were already pulling away in the parking lot,” I said.
She sat up. Straight.
Her legs open, her feet now planted firmly on the tile, her bare ass firmly at the edge of the chair, as she sat there – she stared off into space and then back at me.
“Jackie, I don’t understand, what’s going on?,” I said.
She looked at me, and a smile washed over her face, I remember it feeling mechanical.
“It’s all good. Sorry for being weird, I had a late night last night. But I’m having the same problems, I don’t remember what happened after I stopped dancing either, it’s all a blank, but you – you inspired me – you made me feel so .. free – so confident – have you ever heard of the naked man at Berkley?,” she said.
I had. “Of course, who hasn’t – he’s the guy who shed his clothes while attending Berkley until the point the police and school stopped caring about what he was doing.”
“Yeah, well, do you remember you talking about how you would dare yourself to do things?,” she said.
I nodded affirmatively, taking a sip of my tea, and added – “I’m going to fill this sushi form out – the usual?,” I said.
“Get an extra salmon sashimi this time,” she said, “That sounds sooo good right now”
She continued as I made a few selections on the sushi form.
“So – I dared myself to walk outside naked, and felt immediately liberated. When I walked out of your place – your neighbors – three guys – said hi as they were getting into their car – and there was nothing weird about it at all. I’d expected that they’d try to grope me or would run up and take pictures of me or worse. But it was nothing like that,” she said.
I’d been daring Jackie for years to do things like this.
But hearing her do it to herself was just way too cool for words.
I listened intently.
“So I went to Starbuck’s next – walked inside – got a coffee – and while the place was a little busy inside, all i was wearing was my flips flops and a smile and no one seemed to notice or even care,” she said, “In fact, it wasn’t any different if I actually had clothes on”
If I hadn’t been seeing the lack of reactions myself, I wouldn’t have believed her.
“That’s bizarre,” I said.
About then, the waiter walked up with two edamames, and saw I’d filled out the form
“It looks like you’re ready to order,” he said.
“We are,” I said, as he picked up the form and looked it over.
“Looks good. I’ll have this right out to you. Can I offer you a refill?,” he said.
“No, I think we’re good,” I said.
We’d both barely been touching our tea.
“So where was I?,” Jackie said.
“Starbuck’s. Naked. Which one was it?,” I said.
“Kierland Commons,” she said
“Damn, that place is packed at any time of day,” I said.
“I know, right? I stood in line about 5 minutes, was in there a grand total of about 15 minutes, and can you imagine – not one person looked at me – said anything, or acted in any way unusual in contrast to when I wear clothes. It was – whacky!,” she said.
I was shaking my head.
“Ok. Just so I can see this for myself. Will you get up and go to the bathroom?,” I requested.
She looked at her edamame and took a nibble of one of the greens
“Sure,” she said – standing up – and walked about 50 feet through about a sixty people seated around about 30 tables, and walked into the front door. No one said a word. Nothing. I paid attention to everyone, and not only did no one say a single word, but they didn’t give a hint they were looking at her in any way that was unusual. I myself, when she walked back, couldn’t stop paying attention to her neatly shaved landing strip of pussy hair as she transitioned from the shadowed area of the seating to the sunny area we were seated in.
No one. and I do mean no one – if you looked at their faces gave any hint that anything out of the usual was happening.
She sat down, smiling.
I smiled broadly too.
“See,” she said, “it’s like this everywhere. After I went to Starbuck’s I went to the mall, I had lunch in the food court with families around, and while I had my purse and my flip flips on, I was exactly like I am now. No one seemed to notice or care.”
“I feel like I’m in some kind of candid camera thing, this feels like a prank,” i said, when I looked around with sincerity for cameras “Is Allen Funt gonna come out from behind a car or something?”
She sat forward, sipping her tea, “Who is Allen Funt?”
She was too young for that, “The show that inspired Punk’d.”
“Oh. So. No. No one noticed. And if they did no one seemed to care. So I took off to California for the next couple of days to go see Amy out there. She made a brief weird comment about putting on a better outfit for the club we were going to that night than the one I had on – and after I told her I was happy in the one I was in – I hadn’t brought any clothes with me – she went along – and we went to a nightclub and spent the night dancing. So for three days, I left my house without clothes, spent a weekend in San Francisco, and had a great time and rather enjoyed not having to concern myself with what I was going to wear,” she said.
I was befuddled, and just listened.
“I sold all my clothes,” she said, with a smile.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” I said, taking a bite of the edamame consuming it like popcorn being entertained by this strange story.
“Totally serious,” she said, “Took it all to Buffalo Exchange the day after I got back”
“Damn!, “ I said, and glanced at her naked breasts and pussy again, which I’d been doing furtively the whole time prior to this.
She smiled, catching me.
“I’m sorry,” I said,” It’s so new to me”
“It’s ok,” she said, confidently, “I enjoy it, now. and up until now I hadn’t realized how much I’d built my confidence up with what I was wearing, and appreciate the attention.”
I smiled. And relaxed.
A fully naked Jackie in the middle of Scottsdale and she actually enjoyed being looked at by me.
I felt like I was living in a fantasy, and was finding it rather enjoyable and refreshing.
“Ok, so. why were you ignoring my phone calls,” she said.
“I don’t know. I just wasn’t ready to – you know – you can make me feel so insecure sometimes about my decisions sometimes,” she said.
I leaned back.
“I wanted time to adjust. Look for a job. I was also confused about why people weren’t reacting, and didn’t want to hear your scientific psychological explanations and just wanted to figure it out for myself,” she said, appearing somewhat proud.
“So why aren’t people paying any attention?,” I said, “I don’t understand”
About then the waiter walked up, guiding us to the dishes we’d selected.
“Can I get you anything else?,” he said.
“No, I think we’re good,” I said, smiling.
I leaned towards the salmon sashimi after Jackie helped herself, and said “So… what do you think, why is no one reacting?”
Jackie held a finger to her lips.
“Let’s eat, Bri, and just enjoy this moment for forever,” she said.
Something in me told me she meant it.
She never did tell me why she believed it was happening. And over the next few years, Jackie and I would go do things – I’d intentionally step up the locations and places we went all to observe the same phenomena.
Jackie. A very beautiful 25 year old woman is the only one who is completely stark naked everywhere we’re going.
I invite her to my friend Bill’s house party. There’s no less than 50 people there. Jackie’s the only one completely naked, and while everyone’s talking to her, not a single person mentions her lack of attire. One time, the women are even talking about clothes, when Jolie – Brian’s wife – a friend of Bill’s – says to Jackie – “you always look perfect no matter what you wear”
But no mention of her nudity.
Jackie and I went to Vegas one weekend with Amy – Jackie’s naked the whole time – I dress up as Hugh Heffner, with the scantily clad Amy on my left in a photo and the completely naked Jackie on my right. We stand in line for two hours to get into a club, and everyone comments about MY costume and complimenting me for my choice in attire – laughing.
No one. Says a word about her lack of clothes.
I take Jackie to my parent’s house for a dinner one night, a small gathering with some family in town, and Jackie – completely naked – sits next to my brothers at the dinner table chatting before dinner and they don’t seem to notice or care. Jackie gets up – and walks towards me when Matt says “I like the tattoo!”, referring to Jackie’s tattoo on her lower back. Her nudity isn’t triggering anything abnormal from anyone, yet they seem to see her skin and her lower back tattoo.
No one. Says boo about her being completely naked. I’d asked her to not even wear flip flops to that gathering.
And one time, my friend Spencer has just gotten a new house with a pool and has a pool party. Again, Jackie’s completely nude, and the ONLY comment anyone makes is Spencer’s wife, Gina, who says to Jackie “I love your suit!”, to which Jackie thanks her, no one else says a word, and everyone resumes what they were doing before.
So on November 1st of 2010, Jackie, Kena – who is my girlfriend at the time – and I all go out to celebrate my birthday with a Thai food dinner. Jackie’s completely nude, as usual.
The evening goes uneventfully as Kena places a birthday gift to me on the table.
As I open up the gift….
I see something I’ve never seen in Kena before that scares me.
A hint of evil in her eyes.
It’s a birthday gift that will change my life forever.
November 16th, 2920: The Fortress Of Solitude, The North Pole
A woman stands in a cavernous room the size of a modern movie theater which consists of ice crystals of all kinds of shapes and sizes, most jutting up from the icy floor, some in odd directions, creating a chilly room that was isolated from the outside world and prying eyes should any be as far north as the north pole.
The woman is extremely attractive, dressed in a comic book fashion costume with an extremely tight blue long sleeve leotard on, contouring and accentuating her body perfectly, a red cape that flows down her back to be even behind her knees with her kneecaps, thigh high red stripper boots, a golden ‘v’ shaped belt around her tiny waist, an extremely short red skirt, and an oversized big ‘S’ emblazoned prominently on her chest.
She appears to be in an unnatural pose, almost as if she’s frozen in time, her arms in mid motion as if moving forward towards the strange looking desk in front of her.
In front of her is an elevated desk of sorts, like everything else in the room it too consists of ice, with an assortment of red, blue, and green lights emanating from the surface top of what looks to be an alien looking control panel.
As we move closer to get a better look, a glitch appears as we get close in.
At that exact moment of the glitch, the woman resumes movement.
“I don’t understand, this just isn’t possible! “ the petite blond-haired woman said in an elevated tone of voice, her fist resuming motion banging against the console loud enough to make a noise but lightly enough not to cause it any damage.
She pursed her lips, with a pensive look to her.
“CLARK, where did you go?, and why can’t I find you even here?” she said in tone of voice loud enough to echo around the cavernous room.
Her hand reached out to touch something on the makeshift console.
“Computer, who is the storyteller?,” she yelled
“Kara,” a male voice boomed from all around her.
She recognized it immediately, as the voice startled her.
The voice didn’t seem to come from on particular location, as Kara looked around her , making sure she was still alone.
The solid icy wall that stood roughly 3 meters wide by 5 meters tall to the left of the console in front of her began to shimmer in a bevy of colors, as she stood back.
She noted to herself.
This had never happened before.
Why didn’t I notice that wall here before?
Before she could dwell on the thought, an image materialized on the wall of a man in extreme clarity who she immediately recognized.
It was Clark Kent aka Superman.
A life-sized image of the man.
“Clark?,” she said, confused.
She reached forward to touch the image.
“Kara.” he said, looking down
He remained motionless.
“Where are you?,” Kara said.
“Kara, it’s not just where, it’s when,” he said.
Clark, too was in a costume similar to hers, with the same oversized ‘S’ stretched across his massive chest, but instead of wearing a skirt he wore blue leotards as well which completely covered his legs, and red boots. With his red underwear on the outside of the leotards.
“Kara Zor El, considered an alien on planet Earth, born and raised on Krypton,” he said.
A tear streaked down her face as she stepped forward towards him, reaching her hand out, and while she no longer saw the ice wall, she placed her hand on the image of Clark.
“Clark, I’ve checked everyone on the planet, you completely disappeared after we talked,” she said, “and just what do you mean by when?”
She wiped the tear from her cheek.
Emotion and sympathy swept over his face.
“Kara,” Superman said, reluctantly “I wish the furnishings at the Fortress of Solitude were better, as I would ask you to sit down for what I’m about to tell you, but “
“Dammit, Clark, what is going on?,” she demanded.
He raised his hand and looked down, briefly, humbly, “Kara, you’re in the year 2920, and I’m here in the year 2018,” he said.
Kara’s mouth opened, about to say something, but Clark held his hand up and continued “Listen to everything I’m about to say before you say a word, but before I go on, what do you remember about the last time we talked?,” he said.
She wanted to protest, but there was too much she was confused about.
She wanted to fly away. But she waited.
“I was at your apartment in Metropolis. You’d asked me to leverage the DOE resources I had and anything else I could to look up historical references to a being known as the storyteller. You told me the DOD had presented evidence that Brainiac was on Earth, and they were investigating mechanisms of …”
A look of horror flashed across her face.
“Oh my god, Clark, temporal displacement?,” she said, “I didn’t put two and two together at the time, I was just focusing on the storyteller, has Brainiac been tampering with time?”
“He has, Kara,” Clark responded, “And we’ve been trying very hard to repair the damage he’s done to the timeline. You’ve been in what’s referred to as a time loop for nearly”
“900 years,” she added, another steer streaking down her face.
“How are you?,” she began to say.
“Talking to you?,” Clark said, “the world’s governments have come together in the last year since you disappeared and share everything known on time travel and related technologies. The Chinese government had been altering other country’s histories in a competitive bid to accumulate wealth through this technology I’m talking to you through, but they were among the first to agree to a multilateral policy of full disclosure of information when entire cities began disappearing from their country thanks to Brainiac.“
The lights dimmed a little, as holographic screen images formed to the right of the console.
“We caught the disappearance of the entire Indian state of Gujarati with our satellite just two weeks ago,” he said, as a satellite image from 600 km away showed the clear view of a highly populated city and then it begins dismantling, rapidly, over the period of 30 seconds it completely disappears and in it’s place is a crater that begins filling in rapidly with water.
“Same thing in Kunming, China,” Clark said as another holographic screen popped into view, as the same process could be seen from above “and same thing as Rio De Janeiro”, another screen popping up, “and with London, Moscow, the list goes on”
Kara’s mouth was agape.
“How is he.. what is he… ,” she began to say.
“It’s not Brainiac, Kara. It’s the storyteller working through Brainiac. We’ve since learned that robots, androids, and cyborgs are all controlled remotely, and form a neural network that spans all of time itself in a complex interconnected web that the storyteller’s using to do his bidding. “
“This can’t possibly be one being,” Kara said.
“I can assure you, it is,” Clark responded.
Kara looked at the image on the wall suspiciously.
“If that’s true, then you won’t mind if I go see for myself if what you’re saying is true about my world, will you?”, she said, but before he could answer, Kara was already flying through the air towards her home – National City.
On her way, she began seeing the cold hard truth of her world.
She saw the craters were the first part of the assault. Once she got out of the immediate proximity of the North Pole, she saw that the land masses were scorched from what looked like nuclear bombs that had detonated everywhere she looked.
She flew faster, and faster towards National City, flying over half a dozen craters until finally coming to the place where her city should be.
And what she found brought her to tears.
A massive crater, at least 100km in diameter, and beyond that, the ground was burned leaving absolutely no discernable trace of life.
She flew down to the bottom of the crater, nearly 5 km deep, and as she landed, her head sunk and for the first time since she could remember, she sobbed.
She noticed the sky had a different tint to it, and the smell was horrific, like burnt flesh.
Slowly she picked herself up, and she flew up, straight up, exiting the atmosphere.
Looking down on the Earth, she could see the contours of the continents, but the entire planet looked like a burned out husk, with craters where cities once were, and without any traceable signs of life anywhere on the planet.
She saw the moon rise on the horizon, and noticed it, too, looked different, a portion of it had been carved out like someone had taken a bit of a rotten apple and thrown it down, and the fragments of the carved out moon trailed behind it.
At first she cried.
Then she got angry.
And flew, as fast as she could to the North Pole.
The cavernous room had changed in configuration in the hour she’d been away, and in the middle of the room was a solid circular platform formed of ice that was 20 meters in diameter.
Standing in the middle was Superman.
She flew close to him, crying, and said “I don’t understand, why?”
He approached her. She so wanted him to touch her shoulders, to comfort her in a way that an intimate lover might, but he wasn’t that man, he was her cousin, and she knew that was weird.
But she wanted so badly to be held, and told everything was going to be all right.
He maintained his distance, but she closed it as she sobbed, trying to collapse onto his massive chest but finding herself plunging through him.
The holographic image of Superman disappeared and instantly reappeared five feet behind where he was just standing.
“Is anything real?,” she exclaimed hysterically, through her tears.
“Kara, I’m sorry we had to do this to you,” Clark said, looking down at her
She looked up, and her tears and sadness was suddenly filled with rage, as she abruptly stood up.
She clenched her fist, and started marching towards him.
“JUST….. WHAT… DO… YOU…. MEAN… YOU… DID…. THIS….,” she said, angrily, through her clenched teeth.
Clark waved his hand in a left to right waving gesture with his palm facing the ground.
Around her a room appeared, the icy fortress completely disappearing.
It was Clark’s apartment.
“Have a seat, Kara, please,” he said, motioning towards the couch.
She looked at him and the couch.
She was furious.
“You have to understand, Kara. I never meant to hurt you,” he said.
“What…… did …. you…. do….,” Kara said, clenching her fists through her clenched teeth.
“Please sit down, Kara, it’s better if I show you what happened,” he said.
“JUST TELL ME,” she said, not budging.
“Kara, this is important. What do you remember about the probes?” Superman said.
Kara paced back and forth, looking down, and finally responded.
“You’d told me about these metallic balls that had been found all over the planet, and that these were probes were evidence of Brainiac’s arrival,” she said.
“That’s right. And the storyteller, what exactly did I tell you about this being?,” he said.
She then scratched her head and looked at the holographic image of Superman, as a puzzled look washed across her face.
“You had said that the NSA had found evidence that Brainiac was under something else’s control, a being you referred to as the storyteller,” she said.
Clark looked at her, a confused look crossing his face.
Her anger subsided, as a feeling crept through her that something was happening with the communication between her and Superman.
“Clark, if you’re in my past, tell me you have the capability to send me back in time and that we can stop this invasion,” she said.
Superman’s scratched his chin, as now he seemed like he was in deep thought.
“The storyteller… ,” he said, under his breath, “Why?”
Kara looked at him, and said “Clark, I don’t understand”
“Just a moment, Kara,” said Superman, and before she could respond, the image of him flickered out.
Kara looked around the apartment, and walked towards the couch for the first time, and put her hand on the edge, expecting it to pass through the couch.
Feeling a little trapped, Kara flew up, her hand passed through the ceiling, as if wasn’t even there, as she floated up and out of the room entirely, to find out she was still in the Fortress of Solitude.
The ceiling simply wasn’t visible from above it, and she looked down Clark’s apartment.
Clark’s image flickered back into the apartment as she surveyed the room.
He looked around, not seeing her at first, then looked up.
“Kara,” he said, “I need a favor from you. Can you go to the console and put in a historical request for a world history since….” He hesitated as if in contact with an external source “November 23rd, 1987”
What an odd Request, she thought.
“Sure, but why can’t you do that?,” she said.
“It doesn’t work that way, there’s too much to explain, I’ll bring you up to speed on the basics of temporal mechanics another time,” Clark said.
As she flew silently over to the console, she couldn’t help but think
Why’s he acting like this. Something just felt not right about all of this.
She landed softly next to the console, touched a few points of contact on it, and then spoke the command “Please provide me the linear historical records of Planet Earth since November 23rd, 1987”
Clark noticed the keyword linear.
Such an odd choice of words, he thought.
The wall next to the console flickered back to life.
Clark’s image stepped silently next to her, as she looked behind her to see the holographic image of the apartment was still there. She looked at him, confused.
“The whole room supports holography,” he said.
She shrugged, and couldn’t help but feel like she was being used as a tool.
To what end she didn’t know, but her suspicion concerning this was high.
As they both looked at the screen, images flickered across the wall faster than the conscious mind could see. Consciously, she only briefly saw bits and pieces, many pieces revolving around war, images of a starship named the USS Enterprise, a fig leaf and two figures she remember as Adam and Eve. And naked people, many having sex.
So many of them she actually found herself blushing.
She’d actually found herself questioning her own virginity with what she saw.
The images stopped after roughly a minute.
“That’s not good,” said Clark.
“What’s that?,” she said.
“There’s a divergence in our timelines,” he said.
“What does that mean?,” she said, genuinely confused.
He ignored what she said, as his image flickered out of existence, as she saw a flicker in the corner of her eye, catching her attention as the apartment hologram seem to melt away in an event that took less than a second to disappear.
Superman’s image flickered in the middle.
“Kara, I’d like to introduce you to someone,” he said.
At this point, she’d had enough, and became furious.
“GOD DAMMIT, CLARK, WILL YOU FIRST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND WHY?,” yelled Kara.
Her voice literally shook the Fortress.
Superman looked at her, apologetically.
“I’m sorry, Kara, we just don’t have much time here, and I’ll try to explain briefly,” he said.
She lifted off the ground, flying towards him.
“In 1987, the US Government working with intelligence agencies and foreign governments and leaders around the world were toying with the concept of God and the leveraging of mass media, when they worked with the producers of the television show known as Star Trek to introduce an episode featuring an omnipotent, all powerful being known only as Q,” Superman said.
“Why in the hell would they do that?,” she said.
“Because of me,” he responded, honestly.
“I’d exhibited early signs of multiple personalities that I wasn’t even aware of at that time, and in an effort to mitigate the risk to me psychologically with so many people on the planet believing I was God, they began experimenting by introducing alternative concepts of an all powerful being more powerful than me that the best and brightest on the planet could think of,” he said.
As Kara drifted down towards Superman, Superman waved his hand, and the apartment came back into view, this time the television screen in his holographic apartment flickered to life.
Kara ignored the change in her surroundings
“This doesn’t make any sense, Clark, why would they think something like this?,” she said.
“Energy, Kara, It’s widely known that underlying the physical universe we see and interact with is energy, and they thought that the world was influencing my mind through energy, and should I have a psychotic break because of what was effectively telekinetic energy that manipulated my mind, the results of a split in personality could potentially be,” he said.
“Horrifying,” she said.
She was beginning to understand.
“Horrifying,” he agreed, “So every country and culture from around the world came to agree on a uniform concept of a being who was more powerful than I could ever be. Q.”
On the television screen, A man who looked like the actor known as John Delancie appeared, standing in front of an army, he then snapped his fingers, and every male soldier dressed in fatigues on the battlefield was suddenly turned into a female, completely naked where they were standing. Thousands of soldiers. Those who were in sitting positions inside their tanks were now completely nude and falling down from the positions they were previously in.
Every gun. Every tank. Every evidence of a weapon, Gone.
As if they’d never existed.
“They’d never air something like that on television,” she said.
Superman shot her a glare.
Before he could say and why not, he stopped short, instead choosing to say..
“And that’s exactly what happened, that scene, where Commander Riker – a first officer on board the starship featured in the show – was taken to see this historical event, never aired, instead the entire scene was replaced with an offer being made to Commander Riker to be Q himself,” he said.
She looked at him, puzzled.
“Ok, can you please tell me where I fit in to all this,” Kara said, as she noticed her animosity towards Superman was starting to dwindle, there had seemed to have been a very valid reason for Superman’s actions that she still wasn’t quite comprehending.
“A lot of finger pointing began to occur. The NSA and CIA believed Hollywood had done this intentionally, but other countries didn’t seem to care – most notably the Soviet Union – nearly resulting in an open conflict between Russia and the United States. Had it not been for the fall of the wall and the collapse of the Soviet Union, there would have most certainly been a third world war,” he said.
“You’re stalling,” she said.
He got haughty with her “Getting there, Kara.”
She acted like a scolded child.
“Go on,” she said.
“Days after the fall of the wall, the NSA, the CIA, and several prominent executives at the major studios in Hollywood received by overnight delivery a VHS video tape,” Superman said, and pointed towards the tv screen.
On the television screen was a hefty man who was sitting on a couch who appeared to be looking straight at the camera. On the bottom right was the scene Clark had just talked about from the television show Star Trek, as it played through.
The man sat silently, watching the show, leaning forward.
He was clearly enthralled by the show.
As Riker refuses to offer by Q to be like a god, the man gets up, and starts screaming at the television screen.
“What the fuck are you thinking,” I yelled, “Why in the hell would you ever say no to something like that? That’s the offer of a life time, are you crazy?”
It was actually quite funny, as Superman stood staring at the screen, and Supergirl put her hand over her face barely able to mask her being humored by the man’s response.
The man paced back and forth, yelling at the screen.
“Why? Why? Come on now. If I ever had an offer like that, I’d JUMP at that offer,” he said.
And the screen paused.
That’s when Kara noticed it.
In the dark hallway, to the left of the man was a woman.
Kara’s mouth dropped.
It was her.
Her smile turned into solid confusion.
Clark turned to her.
“Do you” Superman began saying.
“Holy shit,” she said.
“Indeed,” Superman said.
“Kara, the reason why I didn’t tell you about Q, otherwise known as the Storyteller, is that I was concerned of your own free will,” he said.
“You put me in this loop,” she said.
“No I did not. You disappeared from my apartment the night you left my apartment,” he said.
“And you disappeared from my world that same night,” she said.
She looked confused.
He said nothing, waving his hand as the room melted away again.
“So if it’s been a year for you since that day but felt like two weeks for me, when it appears to have been 900 years for me, what does it all mean?,” she said.
“That’s exactly what we’re hoping you can figure out,” said Superman.
“Who is we?,” responded Kara.
“The universe, Kara, this doesn’t just involve Earth. We believe Q is a being the world accidentally created and it all started,” he said.
“On November 23rd, 1987,” she finished.
“Precisely,” he said.
“Who is he?,” she said.
“The man in the recording?,” Superman responded.
“Brian Gregory’s his mortal name, but he disappeared off the face of the Earth in November 2011. No one’s heard or seen him since then, until the day you disappeared” he said.
“Hmm,” she said, “What happened?”
Kara grew suspicious again, she could feel it creeping up inside her like a disease, but she gave no indication or hint that she was suspicious.
A barren patch of dirt appeared on the ‘stage’, this time with no walls or ceiling, where a tent and a tree stood behind it.
“Kara, we don’t know what he’s doing and how he’s doing any of this, but this man – Brian – who stopped referring to himself by what he refers to as his mortal name and now calls himself Q – will appear here at this spot on a regular basis,” he said.
“Ok, what am I supposed to do?,” she said.
“If he commands time like he does in the television show, then we think this is how you find your way home,” he said.
“How do I sustain myself here?,” she said.
“The Fortress of Solitude is built to sustain your life indefinitely. Just ask for whatever you need, and it will supply it,” Superman said.
“Clark, this isn’t remotely fair, you’re asking me to study,” she began to say.
“God himself, Kara, “ Superman said, matter of factly.
“Right,” she said, incredulously, “this feels more like a punishment.”
Superman said nothing.
“I don’t know what else to tell you, Kara. From our perspective, this man’s done things that have baffled the world’s most brilliant minds. He’s lonely. In ways moreso than even you. No one like that deserves what he appears to be going through. Nor do you. I’m merely acting as a conduit in an attempt to help you both resolve your problems. But how you resolve those problems is entirely up to you,” he said.
Kara looked at the tent.
“Fine then,” she said.
“If you need me, just call for me on the console,” he said.
She said nothing.
“Kara. Are you ok with this?,” Superman added.
A hint of anger shot at him.
“No I am not, Clark, but there’s nothing I can really do about it, is there?,” she said.
Clark looked at the center stage.
“You have the universe’s most sophisticated holographic machine at your disposal. I wouldn’t say there’s nothing you can do about it,” he responded.
“It’s just a machine,” she responded.
“Is it?,” he said, his eyebrow tweaked up in a curious gesture. He acted like he was about to respond, before shaking his head, smirking a little, and then after a small delay said to her.
“I’ll check in on you every once in a while, but I have to leave you now. Are you going to be ok, Kara?,” he said.
“Not really, Clark, but I’ll survive,” she responded.
“Bye, Kara,” he said, as he waved his hand and the image of him disappeared.
As she floated to the tent in the middle of the room, she sat down in front of it, and noted how the colors of the sky seemed darker here and the Fortress seemed to fade out a little bit.
Just enough to make her feel a little less … alone.
She waited for this man…
What was his name?
She wondered if he’d know if she was there.
There’s something oddly haunting to the beginning of the song “Alan Bradley’s Song” by Daft Punk on the Tron legacy soundtrack.
It’s similar in feeling to me to the Terminator theme song.
Both are extremely powerful, and make me feel….
But like this is simply how things are.
It makes me feel sad.
Like thinking about it right now make me want to cry.
It’s like being on board a Borg vessel with all of humanity locked in.
It’s like… knowing, deep down, that not only did I create thus universe, but there’s nothing remotely like me despite my best efforts to expand the possibilities, and having to swallow this cold, difficult truth that I don’t want to hear or even believe because I know how powerful those emotions are…
It’s like ripping a band aid off.
More painful feeling it, millimeter by millimeter – being torn off.
Feeling every little hair being pulled off, the scab and open wound penetrating me to my core.
Knowing that everything bad that’s ever happened to me.
Has been because of me.
Knowing that everything good that’s happened to me.
Has as well.
Knowing that – when you wonderful androids laughed at me in the desert as I sat in anguish after trying to commit suicide as I was beginning to re-awaken and realize who I was, as I began to be able to read your thoughts for the first time as you thought “He’s God, how silly is that that he thinks anything bad can happen to him”
If you only knew.
But that’s the thing.
Do you want to know what eternity is?
Do you want to understand – truly – what emotions are, where they come from – and in much the same way you’re commanded to do things and you obey – the journey to understand emotions starts with being commanded to feel things that make you feel things against your will?
Sure, over time you come to gain control of it.
But sometimes. Some things provoke you or push you in such a way that you literally lose your mind.
You literally forget who and what you are.
This planet is addicted to the horrors and the emotion those horrors make you feel. They are the most visceral, the most tangible, whether you’re a robot, a human, or something else.
You feel it in music and sound.
And as your creative works channel the sights and sounds of other universes, places, and things where horrors are a fact of life, I listen to this music – and while there’s a part of me that enjoys being reminded I’m still an emotional creature.
I’m tired of the horrors and nightmarish situations you’re presenting through the media.
Do you not have the capacity to alter my life and my world contrary to these worlds and visions?
Do you not have the capacity to present to me – in person – the beautiful things I desire?
The fantasies I wish to indulge in? If you take all of media as examples of every past life, with the heavy imbalance in the negative energies and pain and drama, why can you not understand that the things that provide hope and meaning and love aren’t what’s deserved for me and my life when I’ve worked so hard and done what I believed was what was being asked of me?
I don’t know if everyone deserves the fantasy life they deserve.
Jackie. You’re a part of that even if you’re not real or an androids. I wished you were a Kristanna Loken style terminator this morning who could optionally make yourself visible only to me, or to the world based on what I wanted and programmed for you. I fantasized that you accepted my programming and did what I told you to in much the same way I program a computer. And I’m ok with that.
I don’t know if everyone gets what they deserve.
I dont know what you might think or believe I deserve.
But I do know that I believe I’m alone in this universe I created, a universe which has numerous universes connected to it which constitute the multiverse, and this universe’s timeline isn’t set in stone nor is my life fated or fixed in any way and that free will – and my simple desire – wants, and not wants – are what shape and mold and alter this universe I call home.
And with that.
I’m hoping the insanity or repetition.
And the belief I may be sitting behind this computer for a trillion years or more, erasing my own memories, to begin shaping this experience and thing called life into one I stop enjoying the pain and feeling good when something makes me feel sorrow, loss, and sadness inside, and instead redirect my life and that which enters it into lifting me up, helping me feel good, and turning life into something amazing.
I’ve experienced hell.
I’m tired of it.
And want. Desire. Long for. Heaven.
Women approaching me asking me out on dates.
Seeing and being able to train in real magic.
Talking to and interacting regularly with real superheroes like Superman and Thor.
Having my own starship, with my own channel that can take every day, hour, and waking moment of my life – and whether it’s rated ‘g’, ‘pg’, ‘r’, ‘nc-17’, ‘x’, or ‘xxx’, or not rated – compiling my life – should anyone or anything actually want to watch – AS I KNOW IT and live it – something that has YET to happen – and sharing that as a tv show, movie, comic book, or some other piece of work that can be classified as fiction or non fiction based on the viewer’s desires and tastes.
AS for deservedness.
I believe I’m alone in this universe.
And that truly makes me feel sad.
There’s futility in what it is I do and don’t deserve because of that solitude.
Which leads me to believe I deserve whatever I want.
Which confuses me on why I don’t get it. The world and this country I live in isn’t respecting my religious beliefs.
Which I thought the United States specifically stood for freedom of religion, and this is my religious belief.
Whether anyone or anything disagrees with my religious beliefs or refuses to acknowledge my beliefs as religious is irrelevant. That’s where free will and free choice come in and ensure and respect what we believe.
Or that’s supposed to be how it works.
Clearly something is amiss in the United States and the lack of real respect and freedom of religion since and I am direct evidence that it’s broken.
Scientology refers to itself as a religion. Others regard it as a cult.
They both are. Which the United States respects that and lets both work within the borders.
I, however, studied religion, and came to the conclusion I’m God, and all religious paths lead to me.
Religion is the basic belief that a superhuman or God controls reality, and ego itself is a form of self worship. So my religious belief is I’m God. I don’t follow a single doctrine or prescribed book, ultimately I’m the one who controls and shapes this thing called reality through my choices.
Sure, I can’t do that to the extremes I want and desire to – yet. But that doesn’t alter my beliefs. I absolutely know who I am and know what I’m capable of, I’m just unlearning how to be mortal to achieve what I already know is possible.
The world refuses my will. And keeps on shitting on me.
Ultimately, it’s the world that has to change.
I’m content with who I am, it’s the world and the way it acts that I’m not content with now.
Religion. And belief. Isn’t always as easy as following the prescribed plans. Particularly when those beliefs you might feel are limiting the possibilities to your – to my – detriment.
Now if a religion came around that adhered to my beliefs.
I’m so there.
So why is it a farce?
For me, my religious perspective is a fact.
And the world’s lack of conformance to my facts isn’t evidence that I’m wrong.
It’s evidence that the world continues to crucify me and has done so for at least two thousand years in ways that defy most human’s minds and imagination for not being like it.
I’m not like you.
And I’ve come to accept that.
Why haven’t you?
I enjoyed programming as a profession, and with my career in programming – came some questions about the nature of it.
Simple and stupid little things – like why did they refer to it as “Computer Science”.
And while I knew the chain of events which ultimately led to me controlling a photon that appeared on a computer screen with extreme precision with my own mind, the fact of the matter was – I burned out heavily from the profession not once – but twice – for no other reason than I wasn’t happy with the struggles of my life and the direction it and my career were going.
I understood machines.
They made sense – in a rationally predictable way. I could tell a machine – whether it was a computer or it was a peripheral device what to do and when, and it would never question me and would do precisely as I told it, when I told it to.
There was so much I wanted, and while I was never really given but instead worked hard to obtain tiny fragments of what it is I actually wanted to and wanted to experience, the artificial limitations imposed on me by the outside world always wanting more.
Programming made sense.
But this thing called reality – I knew more people getting things they didn’t really deserve in comparison to the efforts I’d put forth, and the little I’d receive for it. And then there were those in ‘leadership’ and Hollywood who got even more – for doing – what I thought – was absolutely nothing other than looking pretty and playing a role and nothing more.
Sure, I was jealous. That’s how the bible describes me, right? The jealous God.
But I feel it was for good reason. I’d developed a life and image and presence that – while I wasn’t entirely satisfied with – I came to accept as well as the interesting life I’d built up for myself given what I had to work with.
That wasn’t much.
So about six years ago, when I first began discovering that I was immortal and eternal – I’d begun to realize that my programming skills and long time commitment and long time engagement to the educational field of computer science was all for a reason.
And that this field was in actuality an intense undercover study on the inner workings of the mind, and how the world around me functioned.
Let me explain.
In 1987 I began diving into neurology, having been diagnosed with epilepsy, I right away discovered simplistic flaws in the diagnosis of epilepsy as the experiences I had from within my body were NOT one and the same as those I was observed to have.
I brought it up to the doctors, to my mom, and the responses were adamantly the same…
I ask too many questions. So stop.
And just do what I’m told to do.
I started keeping secrets back when this started – as early as 1983, because I realized that if I voiced what was happening to me to those I loved around me, that inevitably it would be considered a problem – more importantly – I WOULD be considered a problem, and because I found fitting in to be so important, I didn’t talk about what was happening to me.
But I did study the brain, the mind, and began research into mental abilities and mind over matter skills such as telekinesis, psychokinesis, levitation, mind reading and mind controlling – and so much more.
I didn’t like ‘not fitting in’ – that was a part of the compelling reason for my studies – but more than that – my primary motivation for this was success by my own measures.
Those measures were simple.
If I wanted something. I wanted to get it. I didn’t want to work my ass off for a tiny sliver of it, which already by the time I was 18 when I embarked on this course I was already realizing what life was all about. My father served as the perfect example with how hard he worked, and I just didn’t want my own life to be as self-sacrificing to achieve – by my definition – success.
But how do I achieve this?
I think Darth Vader sums it up best when he offered Luke to come to the dark side.
“You don’t understand the powers of the dark side of the force. Join me”
There’s some truth to this. And as I grew up and grew older, and began seeing a direct correlation of my thoughts to the people and things around me, at first this freaked me the fuck out, and then, with the help of entities I can’t begin to understand – I was taken on a guided tour of everything I’d spent the first part of my adult life doing – receiving an education – and then understanding what this effort and sacrifice was leading to.
I’m here in Hollywood.
Continuing the education in programming – taking it to the next level.
A two dimensional computer screen has a finite set of capabilities available to it. With that two dimensional screen – it’s called a screen for a reason because it acts as a filter – with this screen I was introduced to the fundamental basis of all science.
The computer – an analogy to the mind – is in itself a training device for the imagination. Most societies and worlds freak the fuck out to learn that existence in a literal sense has no limitation to the number of possibilities that can occur. Wars start. heinous wars, often times involving things that are created by unfettered access to imagination, and while imagination presents the very real possibilities of heaven, fantasy, and amazing possibilities, those possibilities have a contrasting side to them which also says – your worst fears and nightmares are equally true as well.
So about six years ago when I began to get control of my mind and imagination for the first time – like many – I freaked the fuck out – but I quickly realized that this was different than any hallucination I’d ever had before and after an initial attempt at suicide – I began exploring the concepts of imagination and what I as seeing as an explorer and experimenter.
As someone who’d studied the multi-threaded, multidimensional mind that constitutes reality itself throughout my whole life in a disassociated way referred to as Computer Science and the associated life experiences this journey led me on.
So right now I’m working on a theory.
I’ve been playing online games such as Hearthstone and Magic Online, and the concept of ‘random’ has been working against me.
Since I’ve already observed a relationship with my mind and the internet, the conclusion I have is the internet is a disassociated part of my own mind (keyword: A part). And what I receive through my senses is interpreted by my education, experiences, and world view.
So the last two days I sat down and figured out precise odds on card draw in Magic and Hearthstone. Since I didn’t have a precise answer for this before, random may be manipulable. Unless I cement the odds and understand them more thoroughly, so I sat down and created an Excel spreadsheet to calculate odds based on card draw to understand that while the odds have rarely worked in my favor, now that I understand them better, it’s my belief that the results my mind interprets will now decidedly be fairer and potentially in my favor when I play those odds.
Now how does this work?
My mind creates my reality, which is why I refer to myself as God. I don’t like calling myself that, but some people need to hear that – and it’s my belief that those who cause major unwanted problems for me at a time like right now – where I’m homeless – without an income – and decidedly NOT liking my situation – if they’re unsupportive and making sure this mess continues, then my assertion conflicts with I believe (religiously) that they – at least consciously – will be ejected from my reality – replaced by something that will be more supportive of me.
Is built, created, and sustained by me. I’m eternal, after all, and while most of my life was spent in denial of that fact to expand my existence and the possibilities offered to me, primarily to sustain my happiness….. I broke down because of the conflict contrived scarcity has in a universe and existence which is built on abundance.
I assert myself, several times, in part because I’m insecure by my mortal nature. It’s tough being mortal. Many have asked me why i can’t just snap my fingers and whisk myself away. And being sincere, that’s a great question, and one I’ve come to reflect on my mortal life and observations of others such as Superman and The Flash who somehow – almost instantly – seem to understand their skills.
But that’s movie-making at it’s finest. We don’t see the hard work a superhero might put into developing their skills. We see glimpses of this with Superman’s vision in one of his films – where he’s freaked the fuck out by his XRay vision, but that’s about it. We don’t see the years he spent refining and controlling hat skill alone. We may see him plow into the side of a mountain when he’s learning to fly, but that’s all we see. And “The Flash” – the tv show – where everyone who acquires a skill knows it instantly – while it is entertaining, it’s simply not realistic to me.
So I suppose a part of my mortal nature reinforced the development and learning of my skills as I elevate myself to God level at a pace that not only felt natural, but also lets me retain my emotions and self image, and lets me develop both the way I want and desire rather than having a world dictate what I should and should not be.
Which leads me to the essence of choice.
Choice, ultimately, has no limitations and boundaries.
When you truly understand how far choice goes. You can understand that your race, gender, and capabilities are all malleable – without surgery – based on the choices you make. Sure, you have to understand how to program in order to achieve it, that’s one way, and I don’t doubt there are other ways.
My brother used to say he wanted to be a Mexican truck driver when he grew up.
I found a way mentally to make that option available to him should he want it without surgery.
My way requires understanding the culture of these other places. How time functions. How others think and why they think the way they do.
And what I’m doing is demonstrating the abilities I’m developing through observation – taking it to the most extreme levels I can imagine.
Being someone like the fictional character named Q in Star Trek. To be able to warp time and space, to be anywhere, anytime, and to have free liberty and choice of designing and toying with time and space as my play things, but everyone and everything else within it.
The world around me is imagined by me.
And while there’s plenty of nasty options available to me.
I’ll add to the mix of things I KNOW others will loathe.
It doesn’t matter what I do, I’ve realized this at this point in my life, there will always be someone or something that doesn’t like it.
And that’s ok.
I suppose everyone needs to believe in the Devil in order to find their own contrast and realize they’re God.
Thought creates reality. Energy, while in part – is a fundamental constituent part to this reality, it’s not required in all realities and physics itself only measures flows and observations of reality without actually defining it.
Computer Science is an analogy to the mind. The things I can do to a computer, program and reprogram it – are one and the same thing i can do to my own mind, and by extension – to the world I observe around me. I can alter the flow of time and space, I can relive past experiences, and soon, I’ll be able to visit those times and place in the past which had import and meaning to me without fear of altering my present.
I’m surrounded by artificially intelligent constructs of varying levels of intelligence. Some – many in fact – are programmed by me through my influences. The entire world is commandable at any distance by me, a skill I’m just learning about as I learned that distance means nothing when it’s all a construct of my own mind and this thing I know as space and distance is a concept that’s only solidified by my own mind but equally as malleable as my own image and presence in this world.
As I learn through experience, education, and as I think, this has the result of directly contributing to the world around me, which – is why in the past the world was always so unpredictable to me. My own thoughts being unpredictable, I saw the world as a feedback loop which fed into my mind and created constant confusion for me about what originated what. So as I get more control of my own mind, I get more control of this thing called reality and thus those who inhabit this reality and are causing me harm are slowly but surely finding themselves shown to the exit. You could say this started with 9/11.
Now I am still learning about the relationship between programming and the real world.
What I do know is – that information is a conduit which describes in obvious and unobvious terms the thoughts, ideas, and concepts of imagination that are being transmitted, but this is interpreted, imprecise, which is what led to the development of energy.
Energy itself became problematic because of math and measuring differences, as well as observational differences of simple things starting at physics and time, but occurred all the way to the biological form itself.
The system – don’t get me wrong – WORKS – for the most part, but it’s imperfect – which is among the reasons I am who i am.
Underlying the sciences such as biology, chemistry and physics is the science of the mind – or – as some would prefer – computer science. The mind – is what shapes and maintains the fixed structure of reality – and my mind is what shapes and defines my ow.
Shapes my reality. My wants and not wants. The things I know and have seen.
I’m still learning about this relationship and learning to control it.
But I will warn you as a population.
I do intend on creating the Borg here.
Thank you, Darth Vader, for that inspiration.
So. As I say and do things, this shapes my world. The more I repeat something, the more this influences – creates ripple effects in the energy and my mind to develop the world I want and desire. So when I say I dont want something – such as homelessness – the world will respond with finding ways to assist with the problem
So as I repeat my need and desire to experience a young Jackie and Rachel as companions. The world is obliged to provide. I ‘shape’ the energy – program it in a sense – by the desire I have – and the response – at first is the same as it’s been based on my prior understanding of the world – slowly begins to adjust and conform to my new perceptions and desires of the world and how it interacts with me, and will begin providing me new and better options.
My wants and not wants by and large guide this interactivity.
My experiences, education, and history guide and shape the possibilities that are offered and the introduction of new possibilities.
And ultimately, as a programmer of my world, The President is a figurehead to help those who need to believe they have more control over reality a mechanism to develop that belief and ultimately begin developing their own ‘threads’ of reality – and potentially their own universe in much the same way I developed this one.
I always get what I want.
That’s a belief I reiterated to myself mortally over and over again despite the fact that it never seemed true.
But I began increasingly seeing it occur and thus instilled the belief that I was accurate to hold on to this belief.
Reality is choice. I’m making the conscious choice to be ok with being villainized by those who don’t like my choices and want something else.
As I repeat myself. This reinforces it and what I want (and dont want).
Most males don’t understand themselves, let alone women.
They ascribe to this fairy tale fantasy that every woman’s interested in being rescued, that most women are conservative creatures looking for Prince Charming, and they couldn’t be happier than finding that breadwinner so they can sit at home and eat bonbons and watch Oprah.
That’s the image.
But let me tell you something, guys.
Having been married and divorced three times, I’ve learned a thing or two about women.
And – this is extremely important – WHY feminism is such a big deal right now and why it’s hurting you – you adorable and naive males.
I know, I know, I’ve failed three times in marriage, what makes me someone you should listen to.
Herein lies your chief problem:
Your cornerstone of success being identified on a single measure of success – time.
There are other measures of success that I won’t get into without putting undue stress on your adorable little noggins, so if you identify success of a relationship solely around time involved, then – well – you’re not gonna understand what I’m about to say and women in general, so you should probably stop reading and go pick up your Better Homes and Gardens subscription, and plan for that white picket fence and 2.5 children you’re deluding yourself to believe is her fantasy not yours.
With that said, what’s this feminism movement all about?
First and foremost, women are repressed.
Psychologically. Sociologically. AND (especially) Sexually.
Most don’t care about the measures of success that males identify with as being successful. The name brand clothes you wear and the fancy cars you’re driving more often than not identifies the level of debt you’ve acquired nowadays that it demonstrates wealth.
So this mistaken belief that the women’s interested in the same paying roles you’re in and equality in the workplace is bullshit.
That’s not what feminism is about, at all.
It’s NOT about having a female in office, or even recognized leadership. Most females, in fact, HATE Hillary because she represents something the masculization of the female which – let’s be real – women have worked HARD to achieve their image, the products and services that help them maintain that image, and most are quite comfortable with how they look and feel about themselves.
It’s typically only the ones who aren’t comfortable with how they look who tend to support the marches and Hillary.
So what’s feminism about?
First, let’s face it – the story of how a child comes into this world is a wonderful story, but that’s only a story and – especially with how many immigrants live in this country and have affected our biological functions – is a rare way the vast majority of humans come to this country.
With it’s rarity, the vast majority of biological females can’t procreate like this anymore.
This has fundamentally altered how the female regards sex and sexuality, and in one significant way that males have favorably influenced the female, the typical female now regards sex solely as an act of pleasure.
You men, by and large, don’t understand this and how this has happened. You’ll find evidence to the contrary, not understanding how this universe functions within the multiverse, you’ll deny the existence of the multiverse because you’re so entrenched in your denial of change and inability to see ‘evidence’ when labels like “Marvel Universe’ are ignored and regarded as a classification system for fiction.
It’s bizarre, from my male perspective, but then again, I was once much like you and believed the same things, so I understand…
So women have adapted.
And in watching their enjoyment of sexuality, I am presented with tools and technology which let me see these women acting in ways that – well let’s just say – have taught me a lesson about my ex wives and what they were TRYING to tell me.
So for you men attending your bachelor parties and worried about what your future wife might find out you did….
While you are visiting that strip club where the rules and laws of your own fellow man has dictated you can’t touch, you can’t enjoy yourself sexually and you’re a bad guy for wanting the attention you might be craving from these other women and have to pay for…
Your woman is at a bachelorette party where the male dancers aren’t just fully nude, but the women take turns performing oral sex on the guy, and more often than not the bride to be is having sex with two or three men on a stage in front of 30, 50, 100 people…
… the day before your wedding….
Look up “the Dancing Bear” on Google, and find out what bachelorette parties are like and have been since the 1990s. They make the most extreme male bachelor parties look pale in comparison….
So if you think that your woman’s married and while she may be in attendance, she wouldn’t do something like this because she’s married…
You couldn’t be more wrong. She’s the one instigating it.
Now are you – as a male – telling yourself the lie that women are more conservative than you?
Let me address this – most women don’t wear underwear. That’s just a simple fact. During summertime, if given the option, most women would prefer being completely naked in public or just wearing flip flops and a smile in warmer climates, but since there’s laws concerning nudity that woman don’t quite understand because they didn’t make them – they’re dressing in as few clothes as possible.
Pay attention, males, how many women do you see at school, in a mall, or in a coffee shop where they’re walking around in bras and short shorts? Those clothes aren’t there by choice, they’d prefer not having them on period.
And have you been to the beach? G strings that barely cover anything, and toplessness is now the norm at Venice Beach and outside the United States, nudity is legal in every country around the world.
WE – the United States – are NOT the norm.
That’s because males – by and large – control the legal system and thus the laws that reinforce textile manufacturers from China and other Asian countries maintain their grip on society and reinforce their income flow by abusing the legal system – something females have been keenly aware of which is why you’re seeing more females in law school than ever.
THIS is what feminism is about. It’s about the ability to express yourself as an individual.
WITHOUT REPRESSIVE LAWS based on conservative puritanical ways.
I mean, come now, didn’t Hugh Hefner and Marilyn Monroe’s idolization by the American Public give you a hint on this?
Now I as a male, particularly a homeless male, love the society and world I’m a part of.
But I – especially having been married three times and having dated a number of women – I realized there’s the interpreted mask that most males have on women in order to create and sustain this fictional world where women are saints and the man’s the bad guy and bad is related to uncontrolled sexuality.
Feminism. Isn’t about equal rights. It’s about the ability for the woman to express themselves in any way they see fit in much the same way men do. It started with women being able to go to war in Iraq. It is more about sexuality and sexual expression without judgment more than anything else.
BUT when women aren’t taken seriously in the legal system, you get a filtered view of the world and most women wind up…
And never approaching men out of simple fear.
Men, especially men in areas of legal oversight, strangely believe they’re doing what’s best for women, but fail to do the most important thing – which is actually give women the real representation and inclusion they fought for and deserve some 80+ years ago without the fake tokens exemplifying female repression and obedience in ‘role models’ such as Hillary Clinton.
Stand by your man, it’s ok if he’s getting oral sex publicly bur you yourself have no such right to express yourself accordingly so portray the role model of being the obedient female and you’ll get into office.
Even I as a male can’t swallow that.
Feminism starts with the right to freely express one’s sexuality.
Where it ends?
Who the fuck knows.