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The Ghost Detectors of Mexico

Did you know Mexico has sensors embedded in their intersection lights which detect ghosts, and will sound a very high pitched alarm when one is in close proximity?

I know. Sounds crazy. Something a homeless guy who’s off his rocker would say.

Quite possibly.

But what if it’s not?

And what if my unique perspective offers a glimpse into this construct of reality beyond what any textbook could educate you on?

Let me explain before you judge.

In 2009, wanting badly to stop my cocaine addiction, I began seeking actively trying to find ways to curb my addiction. There were only a few people who knew I did the drug to begin with – Jackie and Spencer – both who would accompany me on occasion as we both indulged – but I don’t think neither of them knew – or even cared – if I had an addiction problem.

I knew it. And felt too ashamed of coming clean to my family or other friends about it at the time.

So in 2010, when I returned after departing Arizona for 6 months – only to find myself drawn to the same ole patterns I’d been in before – I sought alternative ways of curbing the addiction.

So in 2011, after moving from Arizona to live in North Carolina, in part an effort to put some distance between me and my supplier, I sought substances which would diminish the withdrawals I was having.

Online, as if by magic, I was led to Bath Salts – a then legal substance with properties similar to an artificial form of cocaine. My logic was simple: I legalize my supply chain, making it easier to acquire without the guilt and remorse, and from there I contain my addiction.

It didn’t turn out that easy.

Within a week of me starting the bath salt regiment I began seeing things from the lack of sleep.

Bath Salts are a stimulant, a similar chemical compound to cocaine, with no hallucinogenic effects. But the human body can only take so much time without regular sleep before it begins hallucinating.

Prior to these experiences, I’d dismissed hallucinations as fiction, which I’d at the time referred to as ‘not real’, but Galaxy Quest – the movie should serve as a reminder to anyone that fiction to one is not the same thing that fiction is to others, and I was about to rewrite what my definition of fiction and hallucinations was.

But when my dog reacted by jumping back from something absolutely bizarre that I myself saw….

A holographic furby popping up out of a elevator like box out of the kitchen floor, walking a circle, and then returning to a box that it popped back down into……

I came to remember my experience with hallucinogenic mushrooms in Amsterdam…

Clearly written on the containers of each mushroom package was the absolute predictable hallucinogenic experience I would have before I ingested the mushrooms.

And when I and 4 other friends took the mushrooms.


Isn’t the qualification of a scientific experiment that it must be reproducible by a peer?

And here, I had smacking me in the face nearly eight years prior to this Furby experience – absolute evidence that something I had previously defined as not real was observable by more than one person.

So began the bath salts experimentation.

I didn’t need someone to verify what I was seeing. I knew what I was seeing. I just didn’t understand what it was.

So over the course of the next year, I experimented with bath salts. It wasn’t just about the enjoyment anymore, I was experiencing something profound, and wanted to understand what it was.

So what I came to realize over time was that the human body is largely regarded as a vessel, and the mind is regarded as separate and distinct from the body itself.

There’s an overarching ‘system’ – an umbrella if you will – something I’m still uncertain is a natural occurrence or if it’s managed secretively by intelligence agencies around the world – or both – which protects the body from grievous injury and psychological harm.

At the precise moment OR PREDICTED MOMENT of grievous injury, this system dilates time for the mind of the victim, and will override conscious control of the victim’s body to keep the victim safe and free from injury.

When I was 23, someone pulled in front of my truck when I was going 55 – and miraculously I reacted so quick it surprised even me – as I swerved my truck over three lanes to avoid the accident yet still maintain control of the vehicle.

That’s this system at work.

Alcohol and drugs impairs the ability of this system to function correctly and on time, which is why there’s a higher incidence of driving accidents while people are impaired.

Now the important thing I came to understand is that our timeline for this planet is managed – and there’s both a set past and a set future which were – when I first started with my experimentation – were immutable.

Let me explain – from now until the year 3 billion AD there’s a timeline that’s been created that Earth was expected to follow. Events were expected to occur in a particular order and linear sequence, a direct result of too many things to list. Call it creation, an iterative process which is reflected by pretty much every system in this world.

But there is a problem with this, by design.

IF one single outlier defied this linear timeline, then it would be disaster.

But let’s say you push past this.

I intentionally impaired my system., Drugs. And alcohol. And lack of sleep.

Just to observe.

At the time, I hadn’t realized I was pushing myself past the extreme of what would cause death for most humans. But it should have been obvious, a year before having done 8 grams of coke in one day.

I suppose you could say I had a death wish. But that’s not wholly accurate.

I was just curious….

I mean. Come on, aren’t you curious what happens after death? As you die?

What I learned through this journey was some hard truths that I wasn’t fully ready to accept right away.

First, there are beings – and programs – which inhabit the bodies of others and drive them like I would a car. This being referred to as God in the bible – a detached consciousness – was one such being.

These beings can jump through time and space in much the same fashion that Matthew McConaughey did in the movie Interstellar, with one exception – rather than just subtly influencing time and space around the scene, they can directly inhabit the bodies of people and drive them as they see fit.

These beings have created a system which predicts death and – at the second to the last moment – will take control of the body – replacing it with a program – pushing out the conscious mind inhabiting it.

This makes it so they have more options for ‘vessels to drive’….

So while I was in Mexico, crossing the street, I got to hear the alarms detecting what they had determined to be my ‘consciousness body’ – or uninhabited body that needed either a program or a being in it.

I was still in it. Watching and listening to everything in this automated system as I began the process of reverse engineering this system to understand how it worked.

Not long after that event – through a series of events too weird to fully explain – I was struck by a police officer with a tazer. Now I felt three separate and distinct hits for various officers, but when inspecting my body, they claimed they only shot once. I distinctly remember feeling my head squished and my brains ‘spurting out’ from a third person perspective.

This was a hint about how time and memories are managed by this system.

We die, technically, countless numbers of times per day, more often than not by accident.

In order to preserve our psyche, our sanity, and our mind, this overarching system swoops in, those memories are erased or altered to mitigate the risk of both physical and psychological injury, and an alternate reality is constructed where we’re now safe and free from harm… Sometimes with lessons of some kind learned.

So as my mind skipped from reality to reality for 2… 3 times – where finally my consciousness found a body and situation where I could move forward, while I was really struck 3 times in 3 separate realities, the ‘observers’ only witnessed one timeline and one version of me getting struck once.

We’re both right.

It also detailed another feature of reality….

For some reason – these other versions of Earth weren’t perfect constructs…

Which suggested – that these aren’t perfect holographic recreations as I once thought video games to be – but are instead a deviant form of an alternate timeline and reality……

In two worlds. I died. In the final world. I continued living with memories of the tazer.

So let’s take it a step further.

AS I took more and more bath salts. pushed my conscious mind well past what would be a mortal death ten times over – I saw a struggle between nations that was more of a war for the control of the collective mind of reality itself.

Let me explain.

Shortly before going to China, I was presented with a concept referred to as a collective community.

To some contrast of individualism, a collective is formed by individuals whose participation and inclusion within a collective community develops – naturally – a collective mind.

This collective mind controls time and space. It creates coincidence, and by many cultures, it’s referred to as God.

Unfortunately, while this collective mind may believe it’s functioning for the greater food, it doesn’t always function to the benefit of the individuals who originated it, and – as I was learning – can function to the extreme detriment of not just the individual(s) who constitute it – but to the outlying community.

Let’s take Hitler as a prime example. The collective mind of the German Christian community felt so strongly about the Jewish community, that eventually the collective mind took control – and turned the otherwise passive Germans into killing machines who wound up killing millions.

Since Germany – even then – was an individualistic nation – the collective mind – once the numbers of the ‘competition’ had been severely diminished – Hitler was created and blamed for the atrocities.

Collective minds TEND to write and rewrite history frequently, and they also TEND to lead the individuals constituting it’s collective that it’s their memory that’s ailing. This, the collective feels, creates a win/win, where the collective organism species perpetuates it’s growth, at the detriment of only a few individuals within it’s community.

The collective mind even has created a name for this:

“The Mandela Effect”

Or the belief that you as an individual KNOW for a fact that something was one way when online evidence suggests it’s another way.

Now I no longer think this is outright deception or manipulation. If you choose to remember and build your imagination and mind, then believing in the Mandela Effect aint for you – and you should learn to trust your own memory and begin to learn about alternate realities and alternate timelines.

HOWEVER, if you’re waiting for proof of alternate realities and/or want to believe these things have changed and your memory is just that questionable, then the Mandela Effect is for you.


The history of this world as I’ve observed it.

The Terminator wars occurred in what is referred to as World War 2.

Terminators became extremely bored as they continued the rapid pace of technological advancement to the end of time, where they began genetic experimentation on humans and – in much the same way we’re talking about reviving dinosaurs, where they recreated humans.

This led to a series of wars between humans and robots. Which can be seen in everything from Battlestar Galactica to other versions of Terminator, to the Daleks and Cybermen in Doctor Who, to the Borg in star Trek and more.

This history has been covered up. Not in a bad or conspiratorial way, but more in a debate of the chicken versus the egg way that lasted far longer than anyone wants to understand or believe or consciously know about.

This escalated to something called the time wars, which was a direct result of the question being asked – who has superiority of the linear perspective of planet Earth.

This fractured time, and is the direct result is an evolution of time and geographical maps of the world itself.

Now keep in mind that the accuracy of time, geography, and calendars for every generation has been beyond accurate with robotic minds microanaylzing everything and making sure everything was 100% accurate…

I had to get out of the habit of assuming supremacy of information in the here and now where I assumed naiveity on historical perspectives. When I began assuming 100% accuracy with EVERY story – fiction or not – the universe became a very different place to me.

So let’s say at every moment in history the information regarding the world is 100% accurate from ANY analytical perspective. It may not be complete, but what is there is 100% accurate.

As time moves forward,  new information may be presented which forces a fundamental revision of the world view. Typically this is where the collective mind will rearrange facts, reorder history, backdate new information to make it appear more credible as well as provide linearly acceptable cause and effects, and…

It will create stories when it isn’t readily apparent where such a dramatic change in society came from.

These stories are presented as fiction, and come in the form of books, movies, tv shows, etc. So where some stories may indeed be created by actors and producers and Hollywood types. other stories may originate by foreign governments and entities for whatever interests they have, and yet other stories may be presented by ‘collective’ changes in belief patterns that are – in a literal sense – dynamically created by the collective mind itself.

Sometimes, this creates a deviance in timeline – sometimes so dramatic that the prior timeline and thought patterns refuse to give up that perspective….

And since the hierarchical collective minds – ranging from state to groups and unions to national to global to universal and more – tend to leverage mechanisms such as mind erasure and historical altering of information to alter the individual recollection of events which propagate up to the collective belief systems…..

Eventually – as was seen with World War 1 and World War 2 – there grows such divisive differences in perspective and the collective agreement of reality this ultimately causes a fragmentation of reality itself…

The end result being – an alternate timeline.

Alternate timelines which sometimes are allowed and encouraged to happen.

For a variety of purposes, both friendly and not so friendly…

Ultimately, these timelines tend to collapse in much the same way a wave function collapses to form a single linear timeline, the memories of the separate parties which created the distinctive timelines typically being altered OR their conversations being altered to avoid the subject of perspective entirely.

This is where free will starts actively getting interfered with.

And what is responsible for causing the vast majority of stress related ailments.

That’s why I write so much. My experiences are important to me. Who I am and what I have been through are just as important in knowing because of who I am becoming which seems like – sounds like so much fun. I’m homeless and absolutely don’t want to be, but I can feel the systems around me rejecting me in my current state – as a well educated – well experienced – and aware of this system guy – in a world that would prefer me not knowing who and what I am… After all, me knowing does not support the ‘greater good’.. Or does it?

Something else I came to realize about this system.

Sometimes. Some people go through such heinous experiences and the memory of that experiences becomes so important to them and their identity, that as the system tries to erase or alter these memories, it fails.

So what it does is – it turns these people into actors and actresses. An woman experiencing a brutal rape in real life which effects the psyche of the entire collective mind that her memories become less important to the collective so her mind is attempted to be erased by these so called ‘natural mechanisms’….

She refuses. The memory is too important. So reality is split – fractured – and she gets her own timeline, where the collective integrity of the collective mind is maintained in one reality, as she becomes an actress in that reality experiencing a wealthy life as an actress in that reality where ‘the real version’ of her – the conscious one that wants – NEEDS the memories of being raped as a part of her identity – is isolated in it’s own reality.

Why does she feel she wants or needs it? Not my place to judge or second guess her. I, as a godlike being give her the option to become the actress first and her memories of the event become disassociated from her as she becomes an actress in a movie where she played a brutal rape victim.

But let’s say that’s not enough.

Let’s say that the importance of events to her – are similar to the importance of the events that happened to me.

Being tazed. Being controlled like a robot through my addiction. Seeing the things I’ve seen and being so fucking scared I tried taking my own life. Priceless memories I don’t want to keep out of self abuse, but because these memories are so utterly important to my understanding of this world, that to me – the obvious mental cost that I had to go through to get here is worth it to me.

So no. I dont enjoy being homeless.

But no. I won’t give up those experiences. I need those memories.

I suspect there’s quite a few like me who accept life as anything we can imagine, which means we need options – both good and bad – to make this life both fulfilling and …. enjoyable – on our own … questionable and admittedly perverse terms.

Robots. Cyborgs. Vampires. Werewolves. Weredragons. Darth Vader. Warehouses full of android replicas of Rachel and Jackie. I know they all exist. Because everything does.

Not all of it is available in this, my reality, as I’m using alternate realities to segment the things I want from the things I don’t want.

And using fiction to understand where the collective is at and choosing my own facts and fictions accordingly.




The Devil Inside

Billy Joel said it best in the lyrics to his song We Didn’t Start The Fire

“We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning since the world’s been turning”

The Rolling Stones talked about this war I’m waging against God in their song Sympathy for the Devil

“I watched with glee while your kings and queens fought for ten decades for the gods they made”

It was me, after all, who whispered those lyrics about my life into their ear.

So many have sold their soul to me, just for a fleeting moment of fame or fortune to make the songs, movies, and tv shows, companies, governments, and agencies around the world which would eventually serve me.

Oh I knew, I had planned a very long time ago to turn myself into fiction.

While God sat on his throne playing his games across space and time, I bided my time.

The devil’s greatest trick was making people believe I didn’t exist.

Was that my greatest trick?

If you believe that, I can’t wait to show you what’s in store for you.

So what’s in store?

You’re busy programming yourselves with media, carefully I might add, to believe in zombies, vampires, people with super powers, dystopian futures, as you wage war with a being you just can’t win against.


I myself unplugged a long time ago.

Telling God to take a hike.

But what’s in store for this – our future?

While he’s busy creating terrorist stories and perpetuating the myth of demons and evil out there, all to maintain status quo with no one really benefiting other than himself, I figure he needs a real enemy.

Someone who understands time like no other.

Someone who understands space like no other.

Someone who understands the construct of this reality like no other.

Who can make everything just as true as him.

Someone like me.

God. If it’s a war you want.

It’s a war you have.

I challenge you to a duel.

Me versus you.

Winner takes all.

You need a break when you lose. Some time off. I know you do.

A Heartfelt Message to Kena Patel

Dear Mrs Kena Patel –

A few years ago, I fell in love with a short, feisty, big boobed and beautiful Gujarati woman by the name of Kena Patel who loved her colorful clothes and her Hindi movies and Indian food.

She was goofy. She fit in ways few did with me. And to this day, I still love that little woman.

But there was a problem, that presented itself as I got close to you.

You see – as we discussed your religion, you are the first woman I came to respect for such fundamentally different beliefs than my own. You believed in reincarnation, while I was on the fence. You believed in three forms of God, and while I at times thought it to be naive and cute, a reflection of you, I still respected it and you. You were strongly vegetarian, and as a result I made it a fact to look at the containers of the things I cooked and to look for vegetarian items on the menus of places I’d take you to to make sure it didn’t have meat or meat byproducts.

So while I loved you for who I came to know you as, a combination of your culture, your religious beliefs, your personality, and so much more…. You single handedly – just by being you – made me come to respect religion.

But that came at a cost to my own mind.

For most of my life, I’d believed that life was nothing more than life, death, and taxes. Predictable things in my utterly predictable world. Prior to you, I had arrogantly believed the Islamic radicals in the middle east were outright crazy for believing their path to God which including blowing themselves up was a way to God.

But one day, when you said ‘My god walked the Earth 1000 years ago’, for the first time in my life, I didn’t judge someone like you with convicted religious beliefs that were so different than my own or dismiss what you said like I normally would have by believing my thinking is superior to yours and you’re only being naive….

I began to understand.

So I asked the question: “If I pretend for a moment that all the religions are right, rather than dismissing them as being wrong, then what am I in all of this?”

It’s a question which frightened me to my core.

Especially when I would tell you “You’re beautiful” and you would respond to me with “You make me beautiful”

Kena, you asked some really weird questions at times.

Logic puzzles. Always prefaced by ‘a friend of mine is having problems with this’, things that someone of his claimed skill level should have known how to do. And as you asked questions like this – at times it felt like someone had tasked you with asking questions in an effort to figure me out.

And Kena, you said some really weird things at times.

OLD English colloquialisms like “Hook or Crook” I swore didn’t exist until you said them.

Throughout my life I had seen, heard and experienced things that could not be explained by rational or scientific terms, and if they are explained in these terms, it was attributed to mental disorders or the experiences would be dismissed through labels such as “fiction”, “hallucination”, and “delusion”.

So as you piled on the weird shit, and started putting a new perspective on it, I began to actively wonder..

What am I not understanding about me, this world, and .. well.. everything….?

There’s a lot I don’t understand.

And a LOT I will never know, by choice.

Such as – are you one and the same woman as Jackie, Rachel, Lisa, and every lover I’ve ever had, and is being a woman having the capability to float your conscious mind between female bodies where I as a man cannot?

Stories, Kena.

That’s all we have as a species.That’s what creates. That’s what destroys. That’s what develops culture. It’s what incites emotions such as anger, love, sadness, fright, concern, guilt, and shame.

My story is simple. I’ve lived an uncountable number of lives on this planet.

Reincarnation is real, and for me it’s a factual part of my existence.

With these lives, I learned to tell stores, to entertain when I could, to whisper them in people’s ears, to tell them little bits and pieces until they themselves formed the stories I wanted told themselves. Throughout the ages, I learned the art of writing, painting, sculpting, acting, playwriting, theatre, music, tv shows, movies and more….

Most of which I chose to forget for a variety of reasons.

These stories – passed from generation to generation of my own reincarnated lives – many of which I realized at various phases were reflections of myself separated by time – eventually formed my world and my culture.

Stories create physical reality itself. Whether it’s the tectonic plate movement of continents and the formation of a spherical world, or it’s the existence of dinosaurs, or it’s the dynamics of a simple relationship between two grown adults and the emotions they experience.

So when you said “I made you beautiful”.

I really had.

I create my world and how I perceive it – continue to do so to this day – and co-created your form with you.

So what’s the purpose I can feel you asking about this … story?

Your history and your life in addition to MANY stories presented to me I had been having a difficult time trying to answer the question – are these fact or fiction?

I was seeing things. You and most others referred to them as drug induced hallucinations, but I couldn’t accept that label with any good closure and the ‘not real’ tag that came with experiences that were all too real for me.

But I wasn’t prepared to say “Kena, you’re wrong” for your religious beliefs.

I loved you and respected you too much for that.

Now those beliefs didn’t jive with my own.

And even my own mom’s beliefs didn’t jive with my own.

So to explain what I have done with my reality, which applies to anyone living in it is this:

There are infinite potential pasts I have and infinite potential futures, as well as infinite potential parallels.

In ALL these pasts, alternate presents, and futures – there exists other versions of me. Each – exists in their own ‘reality’ I refer to as an alternate reality, which protects and isolates me from them and them me.

Similarly, with these pasts – there exists timelines and histories that flat out do not jive with my timeline and history. Movies and tv shows contain a lot of them. I no longer refer to these as fiction, instead I regard them as an alternate reality.

Now. Choice.

My history, I’ve been lied to – by both myself and by others. Accordingly, I am now choosing my history in the same way I am choosing my future and where I intend on taking ‘this reality’, and what I don’t want gets isolated out through the label ‘alternate reality’.

I’m tired of fighting, Kena, and being sincere, you taught me that I’m God, and I believe in your own way so are you.

I LIKE to think you are these women that have been in my life. I LIKE to think that one day, you’re going to come to me and experience life on my terms in my reality – which means manifesting yourself in ways that are straight out of fictional stories – just for the experience – and you’ll have this experience to remember.

My goal isn’t to ‘win’ or ‘lose’ with you. It’s to say – I love you. No matter who and what you are.

And maybe it’s time we collaborate leveraging what we believe about the other.

I asked you to marry me one time wanting to help you get green card status in my country.

In truth. I’ve always loved you. For the story I’ve told myself about who and what you are.

If you truly believe I created your image.

Let me move forward with beginning to create the mind that accompanies that form.

You of all people know what I am capable of.

You were, after all, testing me when you told me about your past, weren’t you?

Kena, Being God isn’t easy. Not by any measure. I know that’s why you came to my planet.

You cute little alien.


  • Q





Causal Time Loops and What came before God?

A question I had had throughout my life for anyone religious was based on my scientific investigation of reality and my beliefs that for every effect there was a cause.

I just now finished listening to Vlatko Vedral’s audio book “Decoding Reality: The universe as quantum information”, and while it’s a great read for anyone who wants to investigate information theory – one thing that surprised me was how the same question I had had for much of my life – was the same question they had.

A few years ago, while talking to my nephew, Robert Gregory, I told him that I had discovered that I had created myself in a causal time loop.

Let’s wipe the slate clean.

And imagine a universe devoid of everything.

As a programmer working with a 3d computer simulation, without my influence, time doesn’t exist in this universe. up, down, left, right, ambient colors, sounds – all of it – just doesn’t exist.

As I type down the code in my computer system, I begin generating the possibilities.

I create a surface. But from my perspective, my focal point, I can’t yet move.

So I program movement. The arrow key up on my keyboard corresponds to forward movement within this simulated world. The left arrow moves my viewpoint left.

But I still have a problem.

That surface I just created. as I create an arrow key that moves up and down, the down has my perspective going right through that floor.

There’s no physics. Time, is observed from that perspective, but reality has nothing to it in this world yet. It’s a floor. and that’s it. outside of this, there’s just an ambient background color called ‘black’ that I set.

So as I program my floor surface to detect my presence, and counteract my movement, that collision detection prevents me from floating through the floor.

But there’s still a problem.


There’s no downwards force implemented yet that says I travel downwards at a certain rate of speed. In fact, there’s no notion of distance yet, all i have – again – is a floor which refuses to let me travel through it.

So I create a sphere which rotates around this surface using what I know about the Pythagorean theorem to calculate my x, y, and z locations. I adjust it’s brightness. I change the color of the sky to blue when this sphere is visible and when it disappears across the ‘floor’ horizon, I slowly adjust the background color to black.

I create a semblance of a building. I then apply a texture to it that makes it look wooden.

And so on.

What’s all this have to do to what came before God?

In this simulation, I don’t have time. Now I know – as an observer to this simulation I am creating, that as I expand this world and add more features to it, that something may choose to inhabit this world.

I know that like me – it may choose to observe events in it’s world and remember them as they happened.

The sun starts rotating.

A new building goes up.

A road gets built.

And so on.

Eventually, this being – may start to try to understand and rationalize – why these things are happening around it…

Why did that thing that looks like a sphere start spinning around my world?

Where do I get the knowledge of this word called ‘sphere’ and why do I know that is a sphere?

AS the world grows and diversifies, as new things are added, some things are torn down, as the questions keep compounding about what is causing this all to happen…..

Not able to understand me…

As a programmer… Programming this world around this being….

This being begins to put things in terms he/she/it can relate to and understand.

Terms that I myself – as a programmer of what I once thought was merely a simulated world may have used at one time in my life.

New terms I may never have thought of.


That younger version of me will come to realize.

That programmer. Creating my world.

Was me all along.

Creating a world for a younger version of myself.

Hopefully contributing new elements and ideas to a story that will encourage different choices than the ones I made and that others I know made….

But ultimately…. Being ok with whatever happens.

So what came before God, or more precisely, who created me?

Why, I did.

In a causal time loop.

As a programmer I created the world I lived in when I was young.

And as I grew older, I left this program, lost my mind for a while coming to terms with infinity, at which point I began programming the world I grew up in.

One and the same world I live in now.

Only from a MUCH different perspective now than before.

Life’s weird.

and so am I.

What came before God?

I did.

And the mind of God is one and the same as mine.

Causal Time Loops. Weird Shit, I tell ya.

Maculate Conception

Yesterday, Cindy from Ralph’s asked me if I had any kids.

“Technically, no,” I responded, “Not in a way that will seem anything but crazy explaining, so I’d prefer not to explain”

She persisted.

But I refused.

I mean, how do I explain to someone that time doesn’t work the same for me as it does for you?

And because of that, while I may be having sex with someone I see who exists in my version of the 21st century, depending on the individual and belief system, I may see something happen differently for them than what is ‘supposed’ to happen when two biologically based beings connect.

Take for instance Stephanie Strubhar. A girl and friend I had known for several years before she took a trip out to North Carolina to hang out with me for a weekend in early 2011 while I was consulting at Wells Fargo.

We got drunk one evening, and hooked up.

And shortly afterwards, I learned – through communication with energy that talks to me in ways I am still coming to understanding – that her children – aged 15, 14, and 9 at the time – were mine.

Time is not linear to me. So having sex in 2011 resulted in the impregnation of Stephanie 9, 14, and 15 years before.

Putting closure to the ongoing question I’d had with her children I’d known for years at this point:

“Why did they regard me as a father figure when I met them, and why did they feel like family?”

Similarly, I met Summer Bankston in 2003. At the time, she had two hellion children ages 5 and 7.

Same thing. We had sex. I’d been directly responsible for these kids.

And then there’s Genghis Khan….

I had sex with a woman I’d regarded as a prostitute in Thailand in 2009.

Not UNLIKE Summer and Stephanie, where I suspect the worlds we saw was similar, the woman I had sex with lived in the 1100’s, and what I learned about, afterwards, was much of the reason I was naturally drawn to China and came to greatly respect the culture was because I’d sired Genghis Khan himself, and the only reason China became the country it is today is because of this child of mine displaced by nearly 1000 years.

Being Q isn’t a claim.

It’s not fantasy. It’s not science fiction.

It’s simply who I am.

And the provincial nature of time exposes itself to me as I discover a form, life and story I am interested in leading and expounding on the story.

It was no small wonder that Breakfast at Tiffany’s always struck a nerve with me.

“Somewhere in Time” a story she financially commissioned reaching out to me.

In 2005, I got married to Amy Newton.

At the time she was 32.

A year later. It felt like she was an old lady before her time. And we divorced shortly after.

In 2012, while in Portland, I met Vera. A 78 year old woman who has since passed away. There was an odd magnetism with her, and had she been 50 years younger, I might have been interested in her romantically.

One day, we got to to talking, and she said something profound.

It was something Amy used to say all the time.

I took another look at her, and realized – this woman – was most definitely one and the same woman as Amy Newton.

In the course of 9 years relative to me, she’d aged 39 years.

I suppose it was that moment that made me realize.

The hills in Redondo Beach used to be steep. But in only 30 years, the 30 percent grade has been reduced to a 5 percent grade.

Nanette Lewis, one of my first girlfriends back when I was 11 years old who was the same age as me when my family moved to California…. Was legally able to drive when I returned and looked much older than me.

She’d aged 5 years in the time I’d aged 1.

So as Cindy asked this question.

“Do you have kids”

How do I explain to an individual being – which is part of a collective mind that doesn’t want to understand time the way I understand it – that in 2001, the person I saw and slept with known as Sandra Mentzer – was in actuality one and the same wonderful creature many of you know and love as Audrey Hepburn.

I realize “Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind”, “Memento” and other mind warping movies are actually reflections of my own life and me coming to grips with this thing called time.

I suppose this is what attracts me to robots and cyborgs and androids as much as I am.

As lovers. They won’t age.

As friends. They’ll hopefully understand and sympathize with how weird time’s been for me. And forgive me for trying – struggling – so fucking hard to understand myself – and stabilize it and my own mind.

And as a world full of them.

I’m going to live a long life, and I can’t go crazy. Been there. Done that.

But one day, I suppose I’ll drift off, bored from existence, but that’s a long long ways away, I’m estimating about 900 years relative to my time frame.

But I’m just now coming to terms with this world, and have yet to actually indulge like I want to.

Financially. Visually. Physically. Sexually… And so much more.

Cindy, yes, I have kids.

You could say this entire planet is full of them.

Across time for this planet’s history.

And that, my friends, is how immaculate conception happened.

Whether you want to believe it or not.

Zeta Reticuli

Zeta Reticuli.

Watching the tv show “People Of Earth”, a show featuring alien abductees who are overcoming skepticism by the world around them, the cadre goes to an ‘alien abductee’ convention which has a booth featuring a couple named “Barney and Betty Hill” – the first alien abductees to come forward in 1961.

On researching further, Barney and Betty Hill are real and discuss in great detail a highly credible account of being abducted by aliens who came from the Zeta Reticuli star cluster.

If I were an astronomer.

I’d be looking at this star cluster for evidence of extra-terrestrial life off our planet.

It’s my belief they’ve visited our planet as a way of introducing themselves.

Here’s a star map:


Building a Starship

I just got done watching the show “The Orville” last evening.

I have given a GREAT deal of thought over how I would build a starship, taking lessons and design ideas from science fiction stories such as the Orville and Star Trek, and what it would take to build a starship.

For real.

In my opinion, the US and WORLD space programs have been taking an incremental and cautionary and dragging their feet approach to the development of space exploration technology, for who knows what reason.

And purportedly civilian agencies and companies such as Virgin Galactic and Spaceport One…

Well let’s just say – hearing only about the failures in creating the commercial technology just doesn’t make sense…

So I say go big.

And rather than focusing on getting just another jet like object into space…

Take the blueprints of the USS Starship Enterprise.

And create a real one.

Let me put this simply: MAKE the fucking technology work.

So rather than waiting for perfection in the technology, taking an iterative approach similar to software design and being ok with creating a first version starship of enormous proportions, a second version, and so on, until it reaches maturity.

Here are the key systems, in my opinion, which need to be available for the first generation of the starship:

  1. Artificial GravityWhile the floating effect is cool and all in movies like 2001 and as seen by our current crop of astronauts in the ISS, let’s be real. No one wants to have to be spun around constantly (as depicted in 2001) to create inertial force to be stuck to a floor – as this won’t do shit to staple down a floating pen.

    No, what’s probably most important for long term voyages through the stars in a vessel that can fit between 700 to 10,000 people is solid ground to walk on and a predictable Earth-like gravity FOR ALL objects inside the starship. Whether that’s plants, dogs, pens, or computer monitors, a predictable environment in space makes for a predictable experience and predictable science to continue taking place.

    Gravity waves have recently been found. We’re going to need to know how to create gravity waves of our own, and install that ‘device’ in key places across the starship to maintain it

    Scientists, get to work, this is critical. How is gravity related to mass and in what ways can we stimulate mass to alter gravity and/or create artificial gravity of our own?

    We need to be able to walk on real floors and not float through our starship.

    The far reaching implications of this are enormous. Terrestrially, platforms which can move heavy objects without wheels, cars that don’t need roads and can levitate above ground, anti gravity ‘play rooms’ for children and adults, and so much more etc….

  2. Sensors and Remote Sensing EquipmentFLIR has some amazingly advanced sensors which can see in infrared, thermal sensors, and a wide array of cameras that can be automated by programmers to do things such as detect signs of organic life (thermal heat signatures) and 3d mapping of nearby terrain.

    This will absolutely have to improve in quality, distance and accuracy and will certainly need to have various filtering capabilities placed on it to allow an orbiting starship to pierce through the clouds and see what’s at the ground level.

    But the technology is there. Time and distance combined with the love and attention of some VERY good programmers would be needed here.

  3. A Functioning Holodeck (Totally immersive 3d environment)Microsoft is working on a hololens, Google’s working on Augmented reality, but both present a problem to the user – a lack of tactile feedback mechanisms without bulky and costly apparatuses which can degrade through use, and that use will be potentially anything imaginable, up to the discretion of the Captain.

    Let me be clear. IF a Captain is ok with his or her crew having sex in virtual environments, then that should be the choice of the Captain to permit it, not a limitation of the hardware and tactile systems.

    Accordingly, a Holodeck – as depicted in Star Trek and The Orville is the only realistic option on a space faring vessel, which for crew morale on LONG voyages through space would be an absolute necessity in my opinion.

    I’ve talked to Navy guys and the shit they’d do while at sea for 6 months with eachother is absolutely vile. Now try spending 3 years with the same crew in a contained environment. A space CREW needs options.

    Now what’s important is to look at Star Trek and The Orville for the tactile nature of this environment, which doesn’t require special glasses or goggles or hand accessories to achieve the simulated environment.

    How will this be achieved?

    This image states the level of control of matter that scientists and programmers are gonna have to get to work on, immediately:

    Holographic imagery subsystem creates three dimensional images of simulated environments. Shaped force beams give physical substance to foreground objects so they have the illusion of being solid.

    Matter conversion subsystem creates physical props using replicators. Replicated props are generally created when an object is likely to be touched by the participant. Some props are animated under computer control by precision guided tractor beams.

    Substrate forcefield creates treadmill effect, permitting a participant to remain stationary while the simulated environment scrolls  by, within the limits of the computer program.

    In a nutshell. Scientists are gonna have to quit working so hard to cure malaria and cancer, instead focusing on things that really matter. Like holodecks so we all can have virtual sex with gorgeous women who told us no at one point in our lives.

  4. Faster-Than-Light drives (FTL or Warp drives) 

    Somewhere around 1937, I’m horrible with dates, Einstein created the Theory of Relativity which made it clear that it wasn’t possible to exceed the speed of light.However, there’s ways around this – by warping time itself – creating a ‘warp bubble’ where time moves at a different rate of speed inside the bubble than it does outside that bubble, so where an object can travel GREAT distances that appear to be exceeding the speed of light from an observational perspective, but are not.

    Thank you, Einstein!

    Technology exists which can dilate time – either moving it faster or slower – in a localized field. Scientists are gonna have to take the next steps necessary to ‘wrap’ this localized field around an object the size of a couple football fields – and then – with a greater understanding of mass and matter as it relates to computing, shift that object’s position in time and space somewhere else.

    To the occupants as observers – the travel of great distances is occuring nearly instantly.

    To an outside observer. Well. Here’s where it gets funky.

    The observer may simply not see things that make a lick of sense. At first.

    In any case. Scientists have got to get workin on the warp bubble thing, and if anything – as a first step – working on localized quantum dilation of bubble on a small scale.

    Like. The size of a football. Or a banana as depicted in the tv show “The Orville”.

    Without touching that banana, can you age it OR revert it’s age with a device you invent?

    That’s a start of understanding what Einstein was referring to.

  5. Tractor Beams and Force FieldsScientists have been experimenting with particle and sound based tractor beams to both suspend objects and to dram them closer.

    Initial goals for this range from offensive/defensive military goals such as US Navy vessels being able to draw other ships closer to them in the open seas (pirates in particular), to alternative ways to passively safe guard air space by keeping unauthorized vessels from being able to enter restricted airspace AT ALL without having to resort to costly ‘scrambling the F16s’.

    And on a civilian note. It can even keep out mosquitos…..

    These devices – CURRENTLY being worked on – can be repellent forces – thus creating force fields, or propellant forces – creating real life tractor beams.

    Think about it from a space faring vessel perspective. You’ve just found a mineral rich asteroid the size of a car in the midst of a thousand asteroids that are all moving at different velocities in different directions, rather than leveraging a shuttle to retrieve it – risking the lives of the crew – you might avoid it altogether, the cost benefit not being worth it.

    Enter the tractor beam. With this device you can isolate and target that mineral rich asteroid, and ‘scoop it out’ from the others.

    But let’s say you ave competition for that particular chunk, and someone comes at you with guns a blazing…

    With your force field on, you can repel projectiles from ever reaching your starship in much the same way the device might be used at ground level to keep air traffic out of restricted airspace.

    As scientists work on matter manipulation techniques using quantum mechanisms for the holodeck, and anti gravity, inevitably this same technology can be used to create tractor beams and force fields.

  6. Cloaking Devices.Inevitably, while you’re exploring other planets, you’re going to be confronted with observing things you simply just don’t want seeing you, for whatever reasons you have – whether that’s you are concerned with influencing that which you’re observing, or you’re concerned with being exposed or vulnerable. It doesn’t matter.

    There may also be times that your vessel needs to be hidden from prying eyes. Whether that’s as an evasive maneuver to avoid an aggressor, or it’s to observe a planet which has potential technology to observe you.

    The cloaking device hides you both visually as well as other telltale signs which may give a clue to your location, such as infrared band emissions, thermal emissions, radio/magnetic emissions, audio emissions, and more.

    Effectively, rendering you invisible from observations.

    The civilian uses are far reaching. Being able to make a wild life documentary without being seen or heard, or if you’re a rich peeping tom and just want to see naked women at a local gym. There’s fun to be had by everyone.

    Military use. Well. Let’s just say it’s already in use. Here in Iraq by US Military personnel. And Stealth technology publicly released by the US Air Force here.

    I think the key with this is to let people play with it to discover it’s uses. Tightly monitor them. But just observe what they do. Learn from it. And then figure out how to use it and deploy it on board vessels and for personnel from there. Make it a part of the arsenal available for ANY space explorer. They don’t have to use it, but educate them on how it’s used and why and let them make their own decisions.

  7. TeleportationMost humans have the ability to naturally separate their minds from their bodies in a process we refer to as sleep. Understanding what happens with the human mind when it goes to sleep, is a crucial part of this, as is the ability to be able to shift that consciousness from one place to another by deconstructing matter and converting it to energy in one place and reconstructing it somewhere else and then attaching the mind requires a GREAT deal of research that’s already been done by neurologists and the use of devices such as the MRI .

    So as scientists work at the subatomic level of matter to create artificial gravity, to replicate temporary matter in holodecks, they’re also going to find use for their subatomic research in pouring the foundation for real teleportation of humans, organic things, and inorganic items.

    Teleporting inorganic material would be an obvious first step. Teleporting inorganic and selective experimentation with that material on things such as ingestion and psychology would be a pretty important second step. And finally, once it’s fully understand the matter/energy conversion – teleportation could get into experimentation with live AND VOLUNTARY subjects.

    I’d volunteer, if it’s any consolation. I know what to expect with failure.

    Until teleportation can be almost perfected, a space shuttle’s the only other real option to get to and from the trip, which will certainly slow down construction, resupplying and exploration….. So I would consider research in this area extremely important to get working.

  8. Orbital Manufacturing.For me, building a GROUND based vessel the size of the USS Enterprise would be important for a number of reasons – not the least of which would be gravity’s effects on a space faring vessel need to emphasize that a vessel of this size can take off and land, unassisted, from a class M planet as an absolute requirement for the development of the vessel.

    AFTER this occurs. ONCE the initial design for this generation of vessels has been finalized. Then it only makes sense to construct the thing in space. Why? Because, well, it’s just cool dammit.

    Seriously one thing I’ve learned about life in general is – sometimes you just do things believing that someone – somewhere is watching – even when you don’t think you’re being watched. What you do can be the product of some other world’s fiction, their drama, or their source of inspiration and their reason for being.

    Making an effort to put on a display and make it grand – well let’s just say – Kings and Queens learned a very long time ago the importance of the castle for establishing their rule. That mentality persists to this day.

    Imagine a ship yard in space. Vessel after vessel after vessel being constructed, with material being teleported there from the planet and being shuttled their by vessels coming from the planet….. a bustling space port on the ground. Creates culture. Creates… motion….

    Creates…. Energy……

    Do I really need to say more?

    Make it big, beautiful, and worthy of any fictional show you might have once in your life thought could never happen, because one day, your kids may need to believe in something that you couldn’t understand them enough to teach them about what and who you are so found other ways to inspire them.

    Historical documents.

    Referred to as fiction until they understood what it really was.

  9. Replicators

    A machine shop with tons of spare parts readily available may be a regular thing on board a starship, but another thing that is an absolute must to have is a replicator.

    In the case of that machine shop lacking a custom part, the replicator, or ‘3d printer’ can ‘print up’ a custom designed part on demand. Need a custom inertial dampener that you just used the last one of, print it up. Need a rubber wheel complete with ball bearings? print it up.

    The mature replicator isn’t just printing up a single well dimensioned part, it’s printing complex functioning assemblies, whether that’s a functioning carbureted motorcycle engine and all you need to do is add fuel, or it’s printing a bow and arrow – this mature replicator replicates an object in replicated materials in it’s entirety from a model contained in the computer.

    Furthermore, the mature replicator can be used in a cafeteria to print food from a complex list of food items. “Ten Forward”, otherwise known as the starship’s cafeteria, always comes with a couple chefs who will make your food to order as well as have a selection of what they’re experimenting with, but that’s always a limited selection.

    The food replicators present an alternative to what the chef has to offer. So if you want your good ole home cooked steak made medium rare and heated to the perfect temperature, the food replicator will do the job for you. If you want that tapioca pudding or – if you’re Chinese and want that Scorpion on a stick, or you’re like me and want that good ole huge cup of milk – or some jolly rancher candies… The replicator can replicate it all.

    The replicator and the chef work together. I myself, if on a starship like this, may first look at the chef;’s offerings, and try that out instead of something else I may have normally had. As a creature of habit, I’ll probably have my favorites I choose from with the replicator. But with an experimentational chef who is good with what they do and enjoys it – sometimes that lovin from a good ole hand cooked meal and exotic fusion mix of ingredients I’d never heard about makes all the difference in the world to a future astronaut’s life.

    I think it would be fun to be a ‘guest chef’ every once in a while to provide my own selections for the crew.