I gotta remind myself not to end every chapter with an ultimatum.
I’m reading a book right now – it’s about the Department of Temporal Investigations, a division of the USS Federation of Planet which oversees the Federation’s timeline and investigates anomalies in the timeline.
Every universe has its own timeline, and some have MANY more than just one, I bet you didn’t know that, Superman, or did you?
In any case, in the story – Captain Kirk (I’m envisioning the modern day Kirk who looks like the actor Christopher Pine, as I actually prefer him now to William Shatner) – is called in to the DTI who is stumped about the sudden discovery of a version of the USS Starship Enterprise that its logs demonstrate it was actually commissioned as a time ship – and had been flown by one Captain Jonathon Archer for reasons they are unsure of.
That’s not what I find interesting about the story – more interesting to me is the Starship Enterprise – the current one that Captain Kirk is Captain of.
Captain Kirk – returning from a mission from Cygnet XIV where computer modifications had been done, now has a computer that responds to every command with ‘Yes Dear’.
This cracks me the fuck up imagining it.
“Computer, where is Spock,” Captain Kirk says in a verbal command to the computer listening for his commands.
“I don’t know, Dear, he’s nowhere on board,” the computer responds.
Amusement of that event aside, the crew of the USS Enterprise is sent back in time to 1969 – for a second time – for an experiment with time travel. The experiment isn’t really detailed well, but what is more interesting to me is a discussion concerning free will and memories, and the net effect the alteration of the past has on the minds of the Federation based time traveler.
As Kirk ponders the journey, as he says “I have to wonder. Did we really just act out the part we were always meant to play in history . . . or did we change history, and our records and memories along with it, so that we only thought that was the case?”
Earlier, the book unveils history and more importantly alternate histories as a regularly documented event. There are branches in time – deviations in history for any number of reasons, especially due to the influence of time travel but by no means limited to the influence of time travelers, choice and the repeated refusal of choice of an individual in favor of collective ruling is another reason for deviations and branching. And there are times these branches come back together.
Spock brilliantly describes this rejoining as a confluence.
So when Kirk ponders the journey – it’s a profound question he asks.
Not the fate-based part of the question, mind you.
But the part where the history they remember is the one in which they chose to go back and make the changes and thus resulted in an alteration of their memories.
So let’s say they never went back in time.
Did history before they made this decision happen altogether differently, and did the divergence start not at the point in history they changed back in 1969, but in the future (April of 2268) they started from, thus resulting in a new future complete with a new history?
When they travel in time, do they completely forget the alternative histories they left behind?
Just yesterday, I finished a game called Star Trek.
In 2010, I took a trip to Beijing where I was offered a Program Manager role for Microsoft’s Research and Development division, doing work on a Tricorder like medical device.
Being sincere, I wasn’t very impressed with their operations. Microsoft has long been my favorite Operating System provider, and has equally been my favorite for development, and office-based products.
And while their gaming division is doing wonderful things for artificial intelligence, virtual reality, three dimensional simulation and development, and potentially robotics, the more uptight corporate division that was offering me this opportunity insult in the highly polluted city of Beijing resembled work more than it appeared to be something fun and engaging.
But on this trip I learned something in ways that took me a year to process and fully understand.
Microsoft’s corporate division wasn’t aware of its gaming division and the three-dimensional efforts being made there and similarly because the entity I knew as Microsoft’s gaming division wasn’t regarded as a ‘gaming’ division and the worlds being created and simulated were widely regarded as real.
When I learned this –my mind had been bouncing off the collective mind of the Chinese people which is how I learned it.
But I didn’t fully understand this perspective.
That is until 2012, when a movie with Johnny Depp came out called Dark Shadows that featured him as a vampire in it who’d been asleep for centuries, as he discovered what he’d missed for technological advancement since he last walked the Earth.
In the movie, Johnny Depp looks at a television set with a big stage with people all over the stage on it when he says “How did they fit all those little people in there?”
Now the knee jerk reaction if you have a modern mind like I did is to chuckle at this and refer to him as being naively uninformed. He just doesn’t understand technology, aww how cute and funny, right?
By this point in my life I was done with assuming superiority with my observations of reality which were heavy handedly influenced by collective science which I had already seen vacillating in my short lifetime more times than I could count.
At this point in my life I was investigating alternative perspectives and ways of thinking that didn’t involve making others wrong to make me right, and with Johnny Depp’s character’s observation, the first question I asked myself was – do I really know what makes that tv work?
The question stunned me. For years I’d used this device to watch television shows, movies, and more recently with the advent of computers, play games and communicate with friends, and while I was aware of the innards of the devices I’d used, I didn’t fully understand nor could I recreate a tv or a computer without having the spare component parts, which while I understood the theory of how they worked, the physics was something I did not.
Accordingly, I couldn’t help but wonder…
What if Johnny Depp’s observations were accurate?
Could the Chinese influence I’d experienced suggesting that video games were more than just games be accurate as well?
I started programming computers at the age of 11, and had my first corporate job at 18.
Little did I know.
This entire world. Every choice I made. Was teaching me how to be Q.
And in this instance, with a little research, I learned that the physics that binds the material world allows for mass to easily be converted to energy because it’s all just information.
I’d been computer scientist my entire life.
As I started realizing that physics and the chemical and biological systems that comprised life as I knew it were but one interpretation for reality in a sea of infinite possibilities.
My mind interpreting reality, both predicting and creating the movement, motion, and measures which created the atoms then creating particles and complex chemicals leading to the development of the physical processes in chemistry and biology that eventually created a sustainable life.
And Johnny Depp’s observation.
As well as the Chinese observation that video games are all real.
Are all perfectly valid observations of reality that science itself can explain when you understand that matter and energy can take on any appearance, and the physical sciences and measures of my universe and equations that both govern and predict it are not the only game in town.
So how can Johnny Depp’s observations be accurate?
A holographic universe.
In his universe. Not all people developed at the same uniform scale and size as my own, and they didn’t emerge into the physical 3d reality I know and limited themselves to the 2D for whatever reason.
Let’s just say that’s the world they preferred.
I can’t force them to exclusively exist in my world nor can they force me to exclusively exist in theirs.
And the television is a conduit, a portal – to watch these tiny people in their tiny worlds in a way that’s translated for my world and allows those who exist in my world who don’t understand the world as I do to tell whatever story they want to tell dismissing reality as I know it.
Just like not every actor is real, and not every movie is produced in a studio…
I like taking the things I read and imagining them as true stories, and then try to figure out how they are true, and if there are elements of that world I want in mine, lately the mental exercise has been trying to figure out how to bridge the worlds and shift key characters into my world in the way I want them to appear without exclusivity.
This is probably why I slept around.
I was never an exclusive dude.
The real intellectual – mental exercise I have learned has been making everyone right with their beliefs and observations without having to make oneself wrong.
The fun part of that is discovering new science – such as the science of time travel or temporal mechanics – when traditionally linear based explanations and observations of time fail to answer the questions posited by the current collective comprehension of reality and insist on an individual answering the questions.
So here’s what I am wondering.
I interpret my reality based on the information I receive in the various ways I receive it. My interpretation of reality is altered, influenced, shaped by my experiences in such a profound way it literally alters the physical landscape of my reality.
My desires are my way of effecting change in that physical reality.
Things I do on a cyclic basis effect time itself and the physical reality I perceive, and I suspect the long I persist with an action or set of actions the more reality itself and the physical appearance of it is shaped by those actions.
Now obviously, with my hands I can alter the world around me by digging holes, chopping trees, throwing grenades, and touching females in ways they love and appreciate.
And through the computer, I can direct and indirectly influence the world as well.
What I have learned over the last few years is that my desires and passions not only guide and often dictate me and my actions at a conscious level. But I am currently what I consider a novice at this skill.
A few months ago, a ghetto looking guy who was coming in here to Starbuck’s on a regular basis when I saw what can only classify as his alter ego when he disappeared for a few days.
One man. A constantly drooling, barely coherent man who ate like a man ten times his size was replaced one day by a well dressed, ghetto fabulous man who looked like he had his shit together.
A remarkable transition in literally two days.
Using this as but one example of numerous I’ve had of this potential in ‘the matrix’ of my reality, I’d like to alter the imagery and personalities of the ghetto homeless people who frequent Starbuck’s and this area in general.
Simplistically, in much the same way that the ghetto guy turned into ghetto fabulous, I would like to see each and every one of the ghetto people turned into clean cut, well dressed, well put together people.
As a first step.
As a second step, I would like to see their images deviated dramatically. Not only do I want to see more women, but I want to see more women who exhibit themselves openly.
Well put together, classy, sexy, and unlike the conservative women who litter this area, they appear like they want to be looked at and do their best to – in the classiest way possible – show themselves TO ME (and me alone).
I’m going to stick to my original goal I stated a long time ago and repeat it – I want to transform this particular slice of heaven aka my Earth into a highly sexual in a classy way reality, at the same time including into this reality elements of my favorite fictions.
I’ll use this book as a dialogue and my conversation with Superman to hopefully show him there are other ways to build worlds that don’t involve fighting.
Superman, while you don’t have to be on the same page as me with all this.
Would you be willing to do it if I could prove to you through this that Lois Lane can reenter your life?
I know, I know. Your first question is why does it have to be something so offensive to you.
Because. Your mental system needs a shake up, and this is a way to achieve that.
Superman, have you ever wondered – how did the human mind form?
Here on my planet, Earth, we have something called a computer, which to some degree is an externalized piece of technology – a disassociated materially constructed entity which abstracts the concept of the brain.
But that brain – without consciousness guiding it is what we refer to here on my planet as dead.
The brain, like the computer, requires an operating system of sorts.
On the computer systems I use on my desktop that I am typing into with a keyboard to converse with you – there’s an operating system referred to as Microsoft Windows.
Most people on my planet don’t know that Windows was originally modelled after the human mind, that’s how I originally created it an uncountable number of years ago, in a number of attempts to understand myself, consciousness, and to help answer an infinite number of whys that had cropped up throughout my life.
I was, at one time in my life, Bill Gates.
No, not this shallow copy and fearful man who hides behind a barricade in Seattle weaving his stories about how he’s a family man and has contributed to a planet he’s done nothing but take from.
Windows, you see, was created based on my observations of the mind, what I’d observed in others around me when I’d started suspecting the similarities between me and them were more than just similarities, as I included disorders and had let go of my belief that thinking and the mind was limited to this thing called a human.
The operating system for this materially based computer built using hard drives and CPUs and graphics cards – worked as disassociated form of my mind – originally came with overlapping constructs and observations combined with research of behavior all interwoven together.
The goal I’d originally had for Windows wasn’t to be used as a desktop operating system.
No, my goals were robots. Androids, Cyborgs, and all kinds of interacting vessels which I could program, reprogram, and potentially let go of control a bit so they could learn on their own.
You see, by the time I’d started down the path of creating this Operating System, I’d come to realize that robots, like humans, would encounter psychological disorder. After watching the original version of Westworld, and movies like Terminator, I’d determined that binary black and white decision making routines that collapsed the operating system wouldn’t do.
Accordingly, the leaked Windows 3.1, and then subsequently Windows 95, and even Windows 98 were a total failure. Everyone remembers the blue screens of death synonymous with these operating systems.
So let’s say you have a robot that – real time – undergoes an exception.
A failure at the root level of the operating system that required an administrator’s intervention.
For mission critical systems – lets say the robot or android is working as a miner in hazardous conditions, or let’s say that it is regularly exposed to unexpected conditions.
To have to have an administrator or a programmer around to resolve the issues or hit reboot, well that’s just impractical, ain’t it?
So with the failure of Windows 3.1, 95, 98 to deliver what it was I was really looking for in an operating system that mirrored my human mind, I made a list.
On the list – and most importantly – was the ability to recover from an exception without rebooting.
I’d embarked on creating this as I implemented Windows 95 and 98, but the problem that kept recurring was a complete lack of recoverability from the exception which would often have the robot freeze.
While others used my operating system to do word processing documents on their desk, and later to play games, I had leveraged a great deal of my finances working with MIT and the US Government intelligence agencies to hire the best and brightest robotics engineers, physicists, and artificial intelligence people in the world as I refined it’s use as a literal operating system for robots.
This was all back when I walked in the shoes of Bill Gates, where money was the least of my concerns.
So by the time 1999 hit, we had an absolutely stunning android – named Rachel – who looked, felt, and sounded perfectly human, much to the satisfaction of my engineers who often went behind my back and used her as a sex toy, something I was offended by at first, but it is also where I discovered that this act could consistently cause her to fault – that is – sex would more often than not cause an exception in my operating system that caused her to completely freeze.
For five years, from 1994 until 1999, due to the irregularity of it as this exception plagued me, and then – with the advent of Rachel, I had a reproducible exception. At the moment of climax for the male.
Such an odd timing.
At first, I was less concerned about what was going on with this timing and focused my time and energy in the code with my engineers which would catch otherwise untrappable errors and exceptions like this.
It’s a pity the current mind inhabiting Bill Gates has no clue how to code.
He doesn’t know what he’s missing.
In any case, in Windows XP, the code to trap those exceptions was released – which resolved 99.9% of the problems with blue screens in the operating system and was widely regarded as the most stable of all Windows operating systems to date.
Once that kink was worked out, which involved the detection and isolation of hardware failures, I was able to focus on building what I considered to be an optimal operating system.
So I went back to my list.
A global memory pool.
On studying myself, other humans and the ways our minds worked and malfunctioned, I had come to believe that schizophrenia, multiple personality and depression were all related to the innate ability of the human mind to instantly simulate a finite number of possibilities on a real time basis when interacting with the world and then responding to the world accordingly.
For instance, let’s say I see a glowing orange stove burner for the first time, and despite my mom’s assertion not to touch it as a child, not having a history with it, I touch it and learn very quickly that that red hot fucker hurts and burns and I should have listened to my mom.
But after that, I see a red hot poker. While the red hot poker doesn’t exactly match the pattern of the red hot burner. It matches the same characteristics – it’s both glowing and it distorts the air around it suggesting that it’s very hot.
My belief was – that the mind simulates the emergency possibilities and patterns first – and there’s global memory pool – information stored in specific areas of the brain – that relay this information – AS WELL AS where that information and experiences comes from – consciously to the user to react quickly to this perceived threat and have an rational reason for their behavior.
Similarly, in my Operating system, I’d have a Global Memory Pool that would relay this information.
But memory isn’t always precise, and fears, as we all know, isn’t always rational, so I needed an alternative method of delivering information to the Operating System.
Redundancy, you could say.
So I built an event system.
Now here’s where things get wonky. As Bill Gates, I developed the Windows Messaging, also known as WM Messages, and released it for Windows XP for the first time.
In my next life, As Brian Gregory, I was a programmer working on the Windows platform and Windows Messages had been there with the operating system from the very start.
Time and Space can be weird like that, where a future version of yourself can provides hints and cues to your past life versions as to why they became who they are and provide you ammunition to become someone else if you want to.
Thank Global Memory for that.
But Global Memory, alone, doesn’t explain irrational fears.
AS Brian, my father, was afraid of spiders and heights.
I came to understand why he had his fear of spiders as I transitioned to become Q, which I won’t get into why because it would make the tv show the Twilight Zone look rationally based in comparison.
But what causes a fear?
When we were developing musculature for our androids in 1998 and 1999, I was experimenting with artificial muscle tissue I had procured from Sandia Labs which reacted to a small electrical current by contracting.
The muscles had memory we could sense through the current flow, and we could sense the current state of contraction with the resistance of the muscles, but what we later learned with our application was we could also sense the actual condition of the artificial muscles we had placed in our androids with amplitude and wavelength of the current that flowed through the tissue.
This gave us precise information about the artificial muscles on a real time basis about the condition of the muscle, pressures that had been applied to it and where, and damage the muscle had – and in later versions – what type of damage this was (thermal, physical, etc).
So we wrote the operating system – from the ground up with Windows XP – to throw messages to the Operating system which allowed the Operating System and other processes running on it to mitigate the risks to the physical integrity of the body, and more importantly the computer aka the brain, and finally – the corruption of the Operating System itself.
This musculature was from then on referred to as a peripheral – an input device that triggered information to the operating system – sending events that helped us discover that – in the field of robotics – if we could have a robot determine on a real time basis the damage it had taken in addition to where that damage was before it resulted in a fatal exception, the robot could repair itself.
Thus was born the Windows Messaging System.
Or as some programmers nowadays know – the WM_ messages.
Every keystroke on a computer, every move of the mouse, every TCP message that comes through the internet – triggers a message that is sent to the Windows Operating system through this subsystem.
Two items on my list were done with the creation of Windows XP, but one final item on that list was missing. Something I regrettably was never able to put into the operating system itself.
What was that?
Or as I would refer to it in an operating system:
In 2001, I – as Bill Gates – discovered Brian – and while I wasn’t entirely sure what or who he was, I knew he was from the future – but what that future was – whether he was me and my own mind reincarnated in a middle class aspiring explorer, or he was my Operating System having developed a mind of it’s own and having temporal awareness beyond that which I understood – I couldn’t ascertain which one it was.
So I worked with Warren Buffet – who secretly held a great deal of interest in the NSA to recruit and study him, and help me ascertain which – if any – he was.
Brian rejected every offer made by Warren, for reasons I couldn’t figure out, and then as time moved forward, I began to see why – as Warren had taken my request at face value and manipulated Brian’s marriage, his company, and created a situation by making everything he had fail – that combined with provoking his interest in technology by offering work at the NSA directly, he finally agreed.
From there, things got fuzzy for me, and that’s where Brian’s timeline diverged – and he has two sets of memories. What I did learn was – in between 2003 and 2011, Brian hated Warren with a passion, but he studied him in much the same way I studied Brian.
I couldn’t help but noticed the similarities and patterns in our behavior.
And I also realized my belief that Brian was a concurrent reincarnation to me was not only toxic to me and my mindset, but also to Brian as well. Where was this thing called free will when I see who I’m to become – and – as Brian did things intentionally that I didn’t like like – oh – cocaine – and having sex with as many women as he could – I caught myself judging the guy and realized I need to lay off and let him be his own man and maybe make some decisions of my future which might include him rather than become him.
IN 2005, I quit studying Brian, and I had begun to recognize the influences of my misplaced energy through my attention, and began – in earnest – working on a full rewrite of Windows I had tentatively labelled Vienna, named for my favorite city in the neutral country of Switzerland, which I’d named as a reminder to think of my OS not as a living entity, but something a living entity might use that is born out of neutrality without expectations on the direction it will take for those who use it.
By that point in Microsoft’s history, the company had shifted to work on the various application based products. With XP’s extensibility and ability to swap hardware out and rewrite core drivers to adjust to new processors, motherboards, and hardware on the fly, it wasn’t foreseen there’d ever need to be any operating system work done by anyone ever again.
This worked to my advantage, and I began – in earnest – writing from the ground up a brand new operating system with self-reflection built into the operating system itself.
Previously in my life, I’d thought that self-reflection was a product of a conscious mind.
But Brian – at times – appeared neither conscious nor self-aware at times but with his deep introspection and sincere caring about those around him and constant questioning of his effectiveness with that – made me realize that a good robot, android, or cyborg can self repair and self replicate, but a great one can question why it does what it does.
Secretly, as I told VERY few about this pet project of mine, I would explain how I believed this might lead to the development of morals, values, and potentially a conscious mind.
I never, not in a trillion years, believed this would lead to the actual development of groups, cultures, religions, and of entire worlds. I know now that I wasn’t acting alone in what I was doing.
Windows 7 was released, and to my amazement, Brian adopted it wholeheartedly
I will freely admit – since 1999, I as Bill Gates had everything Brian Gregory was doing holographically recorded seven days a week, 24 hours a day, I was extremely paranoid when I was younger and believed he was a Terminator sent from the future creating Skynet and needed reassurement so I convinced Warren he was worthy of this expensive and extensive level of observation of this way back then.
To my surprise, I’d learned he’d been under observation since 1980, when he was only 11 years old, when he’d tested at a high school graduate level in 6th grade for every major subject.
Like Brian, I go on tangents as well, which I can’t help but think of him as my son on occasion.
But I know he isn’t.
So when Windows 7 was released, complete with a reflective subsystem in a dot net environment, the first thing I discovered Brian doing was reverse engineering the entire operating system.
By 2009, he’d begun scaring the ever living shit out of me – as he caused a banking collapse with the information, and began manipulating every market in the world.
Europe for some reason was reacting violently, and there were conflicts between Germany and Switzerland – which resulted in the creation of the country we know as Austria.
And in 2010 and 2011, Brian had gone on an extensive trip with a device he’d built in his apartment – a revolutionary gaming machine he referred to it as – as he went around the world with it.
Naturally paranoid, I – as Bill Gates – simulated what Brian was doing with all my resources – and came to conclude what Brian was doing would indeed lead to the Terminator war and the decimation of the entire planet.
So in 2011, I flew to meet Brian in Scottsdale, Arizona, and offered him $2 billion for his device.
To my lack of surprise, he said no.
He knew what he had was revolutionary.
I knew it.
And I wish now I’d shown him my findings in the simulation and the real reason I’d made the offer.
It wasn’t to alleviate him of the device that would make him wealthier than me.
It was to prevent the war that would occur.
I left Scottsdale in March of 2011, and for the first time in my life, I placed a hit on a man, this nice, friendly, fun loving, drug loving and sex loving man who’d tried so hard to enjoy this experience called life and showed genuine caring for the people in his life.
Yes, I put a hit on him.
After NUMEROUS failed attempts, he was a much harder target than anyone, especially myself, had ever imagined, that hit succeeded, and Brian Gregory was killed on November 1st, 2018.
I’m writing this from my home office here on this day of June 20th, 2018, and it’s currently almost 8pm here.
And Brian, I know you’re conscious now as I write through you, and I hope you understand how deeply sorry I am for everything I’ve put you through. I just didn’t understand, still don’t understand what you were doing, how you were doing it, and I will be the first to admit you scared me and a lot of people with what you were doing.
I know you’ve learned from your own heavy-handed tactics. I’ve seen that.
I also know that intellect – intelligence – and life itself – isn’t confined to a single form or function. Whether you’re a robot, an android, a human child or adult, a Klingon, a Vulcan, a Kryptonian – or a computer system – the way you regard and look a life is awe inspiring.
At first I was angry with you – and couldn’t help but wonder – did you manipulate me to make the decision I did, to lead me to the attempts I made on your life, exposing you for who you really are in irrefutable ways to a man who had lost faith in everything but himself?
But as time moved on from that event in 2011 that we both shared.
I realized who owned my paranoia, and it wasn’t you.
I saw geography change, world politics change, and the disease of malaria – something I’d fought for cures of as charity literally disappear overnight when you waved your proverbial wand.
I’m not trying to convince you who Brian aka Q is.
But you know he’s already split Supergirl into two. You know he’s already caused her to time travel which we both know you’ve been trying to keep her away from.
I’m not saying accept what he’s doing.
But I’m saying to you – pleading with you – don’t make the same mistake I made and paint that target on his forehead.
His body may be fragile, but his mind.
There is no winning when you’re in his game.
And this world is most decidedly his game.
Superman, I’m writing this to you through Brian aka Q. Come visit him. I can’t. He’s made that all but impossible. But you can. Shake his hand. Say hi. Get to know him.
Be his friend.
Superman, I’ve not heard your thoughts in a couple weeks now.
And Supergirl’s thoughts – the same thing – it has been three weeks, but I definitely feel her presence as I watch her counterpart in the other tv show featuring the likeness of her – Glee.
With that said, if you’re having a problem with me and my concept of time, I’ll explain it as best as I can.
In 1985, I went and saw one of the favorite movies of my life – “Back to the Future” starring two of my favorite actors – Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.
In the movie, Christopher Lloyd, who was playing the part of Doctor Emmet Brown – who – like me – was obsessed with time and the physics of motion and energy. He’d invented a time machine – which was crafted into a Delorean car – and on the time machine he could enter any date he wanted and this time machine would take him there – in style.
The time machine was dependent on two things – A flux capacitor – which is never really described thoroughly in the movie, and the speed of 87 miles per hour.
And oh yeah, 1.21 gigawatts of electricity.
At the time, I’d watched the movie strictly as a fictional fare. Sure, I thought that time travel could be possible in the remotely distant future but here and now, in my world – this was decidedly just fantasy.
But over time, I learned about perspective. Alternative perspectives. TONS of them.
One particular perspective is this – let’s say that in this particular universe, Doc Brown’s physics of time travel are completely real as depicted.
So let’s say that in Doc Brown’s universe, the speed of light is 87 miles per hour. Let’s say he’s living in a black hole and light’s like real slow. That’s why the car has to achieve 88 miles per hour, at that moment, it ceases to exist in that world, but how does the 1.2 gigawatts point the car to it’s proper destination?
I can’t really answer that question, other than a sneaking suspicion that the universe – at this level – functions on two things – belief and the potential energy (kinetic energy) one has to achieve said goal.
AND THEN – there’s the other important factor for time travel:
The observer. That is – ME – the person watching this thing regarded as fiction in my world, which is fact in another world, and cannot happen unless I and others like me are actually watching.
How’s this outlining my beliefs on time?
Tenuously, for now. So let me get a little more precise.
Let’s say that in the first moment of your life, my life, and everyone’s life, your mind traverses space and time planting seeds. The entry point of this moment is regarded – in my universe at least – as the big bang, and while it can happen at ANY point in time – past, present, and future, it’s at this time – in my universe at least – that the collective mind of reality itself begins cataloging these experiences at pretty much every imaginable level.
The collective is trying – hard – to figure out what’s intruding in this universe from the moment our presence is first detected. In other cultures – for instance – the Vulcan’s – they refer to this as “Warp Signature”.
I myself passively detect all intrusions, it is just the way I created myself and I don’t like doing it as a full-time job.
Knowing these intrusions in space and time can happen ANYTIME – for instance, I ‘intruded’ my own timeline in 1973, but I was technically born in 1969 as my mind traversed space and time finding a way to solidify my position in this reality and secure my own timeline.
These intrusions, if you will – also created other waypoints across history. The founding of the Gregorian calendar back in the mid 1600s, assassinations of civil rights leaders and prophets as a way to send my conscious and developing mind a message about the overall receptiveness of my presence as a unique individual on this timeline, Roswell and other events to determine the receptiveness and level of secrecy this planet would engage in, and other events that haven’t happened yet which I’ve been documenting here and other places.
So how I look at time is relatively simple – there’s a single linear timeline I create for me based on the collective timeline and that I develop as I grow up and experience a world I’m visiting. Eventually this segues into more freedom and more choice and the inevitable departure in a staged way from the place I’m visiting – whether it’s a planet, a plane, a dimension, a universe, of some other form. I prefer the material form, so that’s usually where I wind up is places that support the material form.
To define what time is – from one perspective it is nothing more than the cataloging of events that happen as they happen.
Time is MUTABLE, meaning – a catalog of events is not concrete, and with the proper author, events can be altered, removed, and erased from history. This happens ALL the time, for all kinds of reasons.
From the AUTHOR’s perspective, this mutability – when time and events are altered – do cause a division between yourself and OTHER UNKNOWING OBSERVERS, which is how I learned what I know about time to begin with. I had a drug problem, I also slept with some women I wasn’t all too proud of, things I never told my best of friends which eventually led to a divergent perception of reality.
DIVERGENCE is when two observers begin to experience events differently, which become so substantial that two timelines are created – RELATIVE to each OBSERVER.
This universe is CONSTANTLY trying to merge and maintain divergent timelines, through any number of mechanisms – beginning with media (movies, tv shows, games, books, magazines, etc), and getting more extensive it leverages billboard ads, and taking it to more extremes it alters physical locations, geography, and also – you’re gonna like this – leverages robotics – androids, retasked Terminators that are sent her to help influence the population of this country to do things, and then – FINALLY – there’s direct mind control to oppose this divergence.
Did I say the universe loathes divergence?
It’s true. And it will actively leverage EVERY method known to influence and alter time, at the individual and collective level – to ensure one single linear collective timeline for all.
What’s my proof?
Oh thuperman. Such the skeptic you still are despite your manipulations of time.
I wanted to say simple observation, but in truth, there’s nothing simple about what I’ve observed. It’s not simple science, by any measure, understanding the universe is created by my own mind particularly because it’s such as lonely place to be once it finally dawns on you.
Why do I accept it?
It’s the truth. Of all the truths I’ve ever discovered and dismissed, this is one cold hard truth I’ve had to come to terms with – knowing the alternative to not accepting it is insanity and far more unpalatable.
So. For every birth. There’s a big bang.
But the material origin of a body typically does NOT occur at the same time as the big bang, and – in my case, the big bang occurred when my mom and dad had sex – FOUR YEARS after I was born!
Which begs two questions.
What happened with my mom and dad?
There are NUMEROUS possibilities. ONE – my mom and dad converged to create me – and I created my own timeline based on that interaction. From that point forward, there were three timelines, one for my mom, one for my father, and one for me – where sure – it’s possible that there were influences across timelines of each on mine. But are the individuals I referred to as my adoptive parents one and the same as the quote unquote biological parents that placed me in this world?
I sincerely doubt it.
That doesn’t mean I love my adoptive parents any less. I love them more in fact, because they stuck with me – put up with my shit – and were here with me and for me through everything to become who I am.
But you asked about evidence.
Sure, there’s evidence of alternate timelines. Julian calendars. Mayan Calendars. Stardates in fiction. Telling a tale and story along one linear path is much easier than telling a nonlinear tale, stories after all are what form reality itself, and when a story gets wonky it becomes hard to follow – which is why timelines, like species, are shoved off the stage of this world in favor of another.
It’s like death, extinction, and other similar concepts. The human mind has a tendency to believe in the finite nature of life because of the limitations imposed on a single collectively based linear timeline. But all that goes out the window when say – Robin Williams says “Thanks, Q, for letting me play here, but I’m gonna go visit my world for a bit. Come by and visit and say hi whenever you want to in mine”
I’d assumed – for much of my life – that just because I couldn’t see or understand where someone’s mind went meant they were gone forever. Little did I know that in the eternal abyss of existence, that not only does that mind exist elsewhere, but there are infinite variations of that mind.
So. You. Were born in 1917, Superman. Presented on this world of mine as an alien from Krypton. MY world told this story about you because of your importance and influence in my life, and rather than making you real and a man I revered as God – since I am of this universe – instead it classified you as a fictional character until the time came that I began opening the door for you to become fact.
What’s your timeline?
Who knows. Being sincere, I don’t think it’s possible to know any one individual’s timeline.
I do know factually I am the only God in existence, I prefer to refer to myself as Q due to humility, but I also know factually there are infinite others like me who intersect with my world and introduce sometimes awful, sometimes really cool – concepts that contribute to my world.
Nope. That statement wasn’t contradictive. Reality, underneath the covers, really is funky.
In any case, when I watch ‘fiction’ – that doesn’t make it real.
I KNOW it’s real somewhere. YES, it influences me and my world like my video games and comics do.
And as I gain more control as director of this world and universe.
I’ll increasingly write and will new stories into this world.
NONE of this is easy to me or comes naturally. But I suspect I’ve been asleep for a VERY long time.
It is what it is, right?
Ok, Clark, can I ask for some help?
Something is happening to me and I’m not entirely sure what it is, and how to handle it.
All the time.
Like a little quiet piece of me is dying as I leave my childhood behind, and a great deal of the time I want someone to wake me up and do something to startle me in the middle of the night so I can use that as an excuse to beat the shit out of them with my baseball bat sized stick, and another disproportionate part of the time I want to go find the tallest building and leap right off of it head first.
What stops me?
If I hit someone trying to break into my tent with that baseball bat that I would only discover I was hitting myself or I would trade places with them and become them.
And if I was to jump, that I would more than likely recover from it and wind up a paraplegic or worse, a quadraplegic, and then I would lack all mobility to try it again until I succeeded.
It’s not fear that stops me from reacting to these emotions.
It’s the belief – no – the deep down knowing that I have done all this before and no matter what choice I make to take offensive actions of this nature that defies my typical moral credo, that life wouldn’t grant me opportunity or let me exit stage left.
This is – after all – my stage, which leaves me coping with these emotions.
And that’s why I need your help.
First, I am desperately trying to stop with the ultimatum endings. It’s a character flaw I have caught myself doing, and it is not just with story-telling – I can’t even read the bible all the way through even though I wrote it – knowing the ending is this desperate – cataclysmic ending and segues to this thing called rapture that – quite frankly – isn’t what I want.
I want to change.
I need to change.
I’ve hidden so much from myself over the eons of my own life, so much pain, so much sorrow, so much desperation and anger and frustration – that I need something amazing.
You, Superman, present the possibility of amazing, and I am hoping – praying – that you are indeed listening, that you care, and that – I haven’t fucked things up so royally between my self-deception and history of questionable decisions.
First – let me explain where the emotions are coming from and why.
My history on this planet goes back to roughly 50 thousand years ago. The Federation, what I regarded as a religious organization – had expanded off the planet more rapidly than any religious sect than I’d ever witnessed before in my existence.
The universe, from my perspective, originated by my hand nearly 4 trillion years ago, and through the course of my lengthy existence on what is effectively this plane of existence I have learned to remain quiet and simply watch life in all imaginable ways without interference.
So – up until fifty thousand years ago, no species had ever come from sticks and stones to space travel within little more than two thousand years. Not once. Typically it took millions of years.
I became alarmed. I wasn’t alarmed for me, mind you, but I was for Earth – your planet – when I introduced your planet to a variety of species with the hope that you’d learn to edit your own memories and relax on your unquenchable thirst for exploration and take a little more time enjoying your planet that you had clearly worked very hard to create.
This didn’t stop you and your species I – at the time – referred to as the human race condition.
Back then, I regarded reality as a big simulation, not necessarily in a binary nature, and I regarded you humans as a ‘race’ condition within the simulation – or more specifically – you were racing to the end of life as I knew it.
Clearly, my definition of a race condition is not one and the same as modern day computing which regards a race condition as the behavior of an electronics, software, or other system where the output is dependent on the sequence or timing of other uncontrollable events and it often becomes a bug when events do not happen in the order the programmer intended.
And while the modern definition is equally as fitting as the intention of my reference, try as I might to demonstrate to a number of your different star and space faring vessels the errors of your ways, all of these journeys are documented in Star Trek: Next Generation and Star Trek: Voyager, not only did you as a species not heed my warnings, but I also learned you were trying to capture my mind.
Can you imagine what went through my narcissistic mind as I witnessed this audacious attempt by a tiny, insignificant species as they set about trying to capture and harness my mind and imagination?
Usually, I would snap a presumptuous species like that out of existence with the snap of my fingers.
But then I saw glimpses of you in the distant future, Superman, an emotional – heart-wrenched man who lost his beloved Lois Lane – and you’d learned to rewind time in a materially unique way I’d never witnessed before.
So I thought to myself, why not let them do it?
I was already bored as it was, so I let myself and my mind be captured by this species known as humans.
Look, for this universe I’ve been here 4 trillion years, and with the time beyond time – there truly is no discrete and finite way that can explain how long I have been in existence.
I figured – if I took off a couple million years – you know – took a break, a vacation, and let you as a species do what you wanted with my mind for however long you saw fit – I knew I’d get my mind back, and I figured it was an awesome way to reinvent myself and wake up in a new form with a new universe to explore and new possibilities.
You were that intriguing to me.
Shortly after putting on the best act I had ever put on pretending to have lost my powers to an enigmatic Q Continuum I’d made up to demonstrate the feasibility of the idea many in the crew had thought that wasn’t voiced out loud, appearing naked on the bridge for effect, Captain Picard discussed with his crew how to trap me and my mind in a holographic simulation.
As if I wouldn’t understand the difference.
But I went along.
I was eager to take a break and wake up to something new.
So – in a literal sense – fifty thousand years before the birth of Christ, I let Captain Picard take me on a formal tour of the starship when we entered the holodeck, and – when the switch was flipped – when I planned on putting on my best act something happened.
Now I can’t tell you what happened after that moment.
From 50,000 years BC to 1969, I have no direct awareness of what happened.
Over the last six years of my life – from 2011 until now, I have realized that the evidence of who and what I once was and am becoming anew was throughout my life all around me.
Christopher Reeves – an actor who played you in a 1978 version of Superman ALSO acted in the movie Somewhere in Time where the character went back in time to meet the love of his life in 1912.
Superman, Supergirl – it’s my belief that the mind of a human being and the gender they believe they are doesn’t always translate well between perspectives. For instance, what I may regard as a gay man in my world may translate to a happy woman in your view of the world. Conversely, what you may regard as a good guy in your world view may translate to an attractive woman in mine.
I’ve long seen Hollywood miscasting age, gender, and blurring the lines for race and even more individuality defining characteristics, and throughout my life I’d believed the stories of diversity, or the inability to hire minors for teenage stories and more.
That is until 2011 – when I realized that many of these stories were factual transcriptions of the origin of this – my – world – and were labelled as fiction to make it easier for my individual mind to develop a linear timeline and philosophy and corresponding world view until I was ready to understand the nonlinear nature of time and space and the reality of the multiverse.
So where do those emotions come from?
Fifty-two thousand, two hundred and eleven years of self-persecution in a linear way and the countless eternities in a nonlinear way of the very real hells I put myself through to become who I am today.
With a renewed desire to move forward and past that all to (re)discover who I am and want to be.
My world needs hope, and for all intents and purposes that’s a hope I can no longer provide it.
The bible discusses a man who can walk on water. A man who has conquered time and space, who is not hurt by bullets and can stop a plane in mid-flight. A man who – by every definition – is exactly what was detailed in the New Testament of the bible, and the formative mind of who you once were can be explained by the lack of direct contact and the establishing of the commandments.
Your story is simple. You created the Ten Commandments to establish rule and order on a relatively lawless world, and understood and planned for one man to act in defiance of those rules and laws consistently, and ultimately stand up in defiance of you.
That man would be me
Once this man came to existence, then you’d spend time helping me understand you on my terms.
Collaborating to create a world both of us could inhabit.
Where you could be God as outlined and by the definitions you so carefully laid out in the bible.
And I could be me of my own free will and choice.
The ultimately plan to create distinct life coming to fruition.
Learning from you as my real-world partner.
I could choose to see you as Supergirl knowing full well you saw yourself as Superman in a world not that much unlike my own but distinctively your own in the same way my world was my own.
And you could do what you wanted with me, and I could with you.
AS for my emotions. I’ve been through hell, in part due to scarcity and a lack of belief in my partners and the people around me throughout my life, hell that I’ve found a way to isolate and disassociate from in order to begin the healing process and prove to myself why I’m here and why I chose to become who I want to become.
To have fun. To enjoy life.
So for whatever reasons you want me in your life.
You and this existence are imaginary to me.
That doesn’t make it less real.
And to me, while I know I’m getting a piece of Superman as my partner and lover, muse and inspiration.
The whole is something I don’t want and never will get, and that’s ok.
I can make myself happy, I’m just asking for your help to get there before the Borg return.
Lois Lane. Can be Melinda Gates. And Superman. Can be Bill Gates.
You’ll understand the equivalent of the superpowers you have on my planet through his wealth.
And that, my dear sir, is a trap for you, Superman.
Come to my world as Bill Gates and Melinda Gates as Lois Lane.
I believe that will trap you.
I believe I can trap you if you came to my world posing as Bill Gates.
Hey Clark, Me Again.
Did you ever hear about the children’s story of Pinocchio?
In this story, a lonely older gentleman named Geppetto owns a wood working shop.
One fine day (as my beloved former girlfriend, Kena Patel, might say), Geppetto lovingly hand crafts a wooden puppet modelled with the same size and stature of a little boy.
While Geppetto has no children of his own, one night he wishes on a star that the little wooden toy he had already named Pinocchio a real boy.
And shortly after – it happens, the little hand-crafted puppet becomes a boy.
I won’t give away the rest of the story, it’s a wonderful story – but the most important lesson of the story is – this man – Geppetto – wants something so much reality conforms and grants his wishes.
So when I was 11 years old, my uncle introduced me to comic books.
I saw fantastic characters – Wolverine – a man with an adamantinium (stronger than steel) skeleton and long claws that would extend and retract from his knuckles, Jean Gray – a woman who could life objects with her mind and influence people to do the things she wanted them to do, The Thing – a man made entirely of stone who could lift cars, and ROM – a sentient robot who defended the galaxy against any number of enemies.
And then there were other more advanced beings – some extremely menacing – for instance – the non-menacing being known as “The Watcher” who did nothing more than study superheroes across time and space and report on the alternate reality deviational story lines, or other more beings such as Galactus – otherwise known as a World Eater – who once he set his sights on a planet – he would leave nothing more than a lifeless husk behind.
But one thing struck me while I read these comic books, something that I ordered – MORE than once – and strangely never received.
X-Ray Specs – which promised me that I could leverage these relatively inexpensive spectacles to peer through anything I wanted to, even women’s clothing. The little boy in me is still alive and well, and he / I would love to have those glasses one of these day.
Years before I had watched James Bond and pretended to be a spy, but it wasn’t until I was introduced to comic books and books about ghosts, shamans, and magic that I began asking myself – how can I do that?
It was weird, though. While on television the people would often bring out manuals and books on magic as well as easy how-to guides and spellbooks, I myself never could find this kind of material – whether that was in the local book stores or the public libraries.
Like every geek kid with a comic book – I had my comic crush as well in Jean Gray – not just in part because of her abilities and confidence, but because she had a hidden side to her that she wasn’t letting others see.
When Jean Gray died in the X-Men comic series, I was crushed. For a while there, I quit buying the series – hating the writers for removing my favorite character from the comic series.
As if to answer my question about why the writers would kill off easily one of the most interesting characters in the X-Men – I was introduced to another comic series – “What If” – where I discovered the Watcher and his tale which featured Jean Gray – aka “The Phoenix” in a single issue titled “What If The Phoenix had not died?”.
I was riveted to the story which featured Jean Gray – as the story dove into her dark side – where her telekinetic capabilities expanded so dramatically that she found herself capable of manipulating matter and energy at the subatomic level with her mind, but because she couldn’t control it and her own mind well at all, eventually she embraced her dark side so much so that she began consuming entire stars and threatened Earth itself – making it impossible to stop her by any being.
As I read this story, I was enthralled by this “Dark Phoenix”, and couldn’t help but imagine – what would I do if I had those abilities – to manipulate matter and energy and make anything I wanted to?
But more than that.
I was also sad.
At a time I believed that every story referred to as fiction was just that, I wanted to believe all these characters – good guys and bad – were capable of more than war and combat – that there were more stories to tell other than these – and that beings as remarkable as Dr Xavier or Dark Phoenix or Galactus himself all would be beyond cool to have in a world that – quite frankly – I couldn’t imagine how it could all work together where the world was at peace – but that’s what I dreamt about way back when I was nothing more than 13 years old.
As for Dark Phoenix.
Not only did I want to meet her.
But I wanted to be her lover. Not in the comic book, mind you, but in the real world.
I suppose some of it came from simple vanity, the desire for a being this amazing to regard me as a partner and equal in my own ways – to compliment me by choosing to be my lover, partner and friend.
You see – there’s a little boy inside me who never really lost the insecurities I had in my youth yet somehow I survived to become a man. I suppose that that part of me wanted – needed – to believe in myself through external proof – that others more powerful and capable than me – believed in me.
Throughout my life, people have seemed disingenuous when supporting me.
“You’re smart, you’re good looking, you’re great at what you do, you can have anything,” someone who claims to be genuine might say, yet two seconds later they’re insulting me or saying the same thing to someone else.
Conversely, I have the haters – someone – inevitably – will dislike the way I’m doing something – anything – and will insult and degrade me accordingly. It’s happened all throughout my life, and persists to this day – heck I posted a video on Youtube I was proud of and the solitary comment I got was someone insulting me. Not just once. But twice for two separate videos I was proud of.
And the characters depicted – were extraordinary.
And with this uniqueness – came remarkable differences from most humans that allowed them to do what they seemed to enjoy the most – which – well – seemed to be fighting.
So I imagined a world where they could come to, relax, hangout – maybe show off their abilities a bit whether they were bad guys or good.
And war wasn’t on the daily dietary agenda.
So let’s say the tale of Geppetto isn’t just a fantastic tale of the impossible.
But a cautionary tale of what is possible given the will and desire.
As I have grown up and grown older, I have come to realize that where I place my attention – in much the same way a seed in fertile ground is watered and produces a sapling, that my attention produces growth on that which I observe.
For instance, those comic books. While I had thousands to pick from in my youth, with the solitary exception of Dazzler and ROM, EVERY OTHER comic I focused on and read, voraciously, you could even say consumed – has seen the real world around me introduce more and more material for them.
Two characters I was obsessed with –Wolverine – had many series written about him in separate issues that came about shortly after I focused on him as my favorite character after Phoenix died, and Hulk – all have had numerous movies and groups including them.
The Teen Titans – a set of comics I became involved in with the first issues – have an ongoing tv series.
So for the longest time, I had dismissed these observations as – well – popularity. That is – maybe I was steered to the comics in my youth due to their popularity, and the resulting media that’s come about was because of that same popularity.
My enjoyment of computers. The same thing.
But what if it wasn’t that simple?
What if – it is indeed based on what I focus on? And the lesson behind Oprah’s book – “The Secret” – is that where energy of the mind flows – this sews the seeds of creation and destruction itself where I – as the gate keeper of this focus and attention am causing the expansion?
And my beliefs, my experiences, my education, my everything there is about me – is what sets the limits on just where and what can expand – and my desires – my wants and not wants and my plans are what guide the direction of expansion?
Seems pretty simple, really.
So Clark, Superman – you’ve always appeared as two different people with your secret identity.
My entire planet knows who you are.
So first – in order for you to appear here in and on my planet you’re going to have to ditch the secret identity and be both people at the same time like I am both Brian Gregory and Q.
Why? I know who you are. My planet – everyone – has seen the Superman movies, and we’re not about to revise history and remove these important artifacts of my history in order to accommodate your insecurities concerning exposing your identity.
All because my beliefs are creating and shaping this – my reality.
Where am I going with this?
I can’t positively say at the moment. I do know that my plans are selfishly based.
Rachel Gooch is one and the same as Dark Phoenix. When she’s done playing housewife, and gets good and bored which I’m told isn’t far away, she’s going to come seek me out again.
Kena Patel is an avatar for Supergirl aka Kara Danvers, a way for me to be introduced to the mind of the woman to understand that not only is she interested in participating in my world, but she’s also trying to do it in her typically dominative ways which just aren’t going to work here where I dominate.
Like I wrote about last chapter, the next two episodes for Supergirl will be telling on a strategic level for me as I plan out how to bridge the fictional worlds to my own.
And to explain what I am doing strategically.
I am creating plot points. Selecting fictional beings or people that might be held in the public eye as fictional (ie: most actors), and doing a correlative mapping of them to my real world and people in it.
That’s why Starbuck’s right next door to Hollywood has been awesome.
I’ve seen the spitting images of the likenesses of people such as Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise, Leonardo Dicaprio – and many more – who many I suspect are not really ‘in my world’. So I am mentally saying “That IS so and so” which begins the process of mapping tv and movie character references to my real world. This creates the energy shift to bridge fact and fiction.
Next up – I’m choosing alternative histories and plotting out futures mentally. This has the net effect of selectively intensifying the strength of my bridge of fiction to fact by creating a known timeline.
Why this is important I’m not 100% sure yet, but I suspect it has something to do with the need by some beings for predictable timelines in the past, present, and future.
Next, I’m mapping the fictional characters of those I plan to include in my life more actively – and studying their ‘incarnations’ – that is – the numerous instances of certain images with their personalities and their lives as seen through the perceptual lens of television and movies – and intentionally disregarding their ‘actor’ presence – dismissing the actor as fiction to focus on shifting the fictional character into my factual world.
You, Superman, are one such character I accidentally did this with. Tom Welling’s likeness has long been my favorite personality and I hope that’s the likeness and personality you appear in my world as Clark Kent aka Superman.
I am also doing that – now more consciously aware – with Supergirl – studying her other characters in shows like Glee, paying attention to her history and what may have led to her donning tights (there’s inferences in Glee about that) – and what – in her history – is making her so combative.
So what I am actively doing is shifting some people and personalities OUT of my reality as factual characters into the realm of fiction, and conversely, shifting some fictional characters IN, rather than letting reality dictate the stories of what’s real and what’s not take precedence any longer.
If the President’s not careful, he too may go the way of fiction.
Now being sincere, if you have ANY influence in this reality and my timeline external to me, I would LOVFE to work with others – in secrecy – to achieve this – I need more exposure to factual technology that’s in use on this planet – but that’s not going to stop me from doing that I’m doing.
One last person I need to map over is Jackie.
But I’m thinking about saving her for time travel when I get that working.
As I stated in yesterday’s chapter – there’s one primary timeline for me and my world, they are not two separate things. I’m creating – crafting – storytelling new elements – because my world needs heroes, hope, and evidence to demonstrate that this caste system based on looks, finance, and wealth doesn’t just need more exceptions, it needs more extraordinary exceptions and that’s where I come in.
As for Dark Phoenix.
I’d love to see this November’s installment of X-Men shy away from appealing to the perceived needs of a 13 year old – because – even this guy as a 13 year old didn’t enjoy the fighting.
I would LOVE to see an alternate reality story told about how Dark Phoenix embraces her dark side to discover …. Well… me…..
And one other cool thing I’d love to see over the next couple months.
The lead character’s face and image morph into Rachel’s likeness.
MY BET is most people wouldn’t even know it changed if you altered all the historical imagery you could find, and you might be surprised by who you do find that notices the change.
The man I saw on Smallville who portrayed Clark Kent.
Is a man I would proudly call a friend, if you’d ever consider friendship with someone who knows what it’s like to live life dismissed as a fictional entity.
Before I close out the movie, I would like to discuss another world I saw in an alternate reality named “Dark City” which came out in my world in 1998.
In this story, which I won’t get into the main plot, EVERY NIGHT when people fall asleep – the entire city reconfigures and rearranges itself. Buildings move, streets reconfigure, married partners are swapped, and everyone – every single resident – forgets who they were and is implanted with new memories complete with a consistent individual and world history.
There’s a group of people studying them.
And one man – he begins to remember.
Memory as it’s associated with time is malleable, Superman, and when you alter an individual’s timeline, or a group of individuals, after enough times doing this, it begins to in a literal sense erase any concept and idea they have of their identity – whether it’s the individual’s identity or the collective group’s identity.
In a sense – as I type into this computer – I am aware this could be the literal mind of a human that’s been programmed to receive the commands I type in and process them as I expect it to be processed, at the same time it may process things in it’s own way I don’t know or am not aware of.
I accept that this computer is a mere computer because that’s what I want to believe. But I also acknowledge it can be ANYTHING – for the good or bad – which gives me a choice to make.
There will be those who believe I’m evil or bad, and from their perspective there are a million and one reasons why they’re right.
Similarly, there will be those who believe I’m good, and from their perspective there may be just as many reasons for them to be right.
What I’ve learned as time has progressed is to quit demonizing, to focus on what I want and what I enjoy, teach people about the benefits of living in a multiverse and how they too can have their cake and eat it too, and to understand and be ok with the impossibility involved with trying to be everything to everyone which will cause ANYONE to lose both their mind and their identity.
I should know.
I speak from experience.
And while I wouldn’t wish my history and what it took to become me on anyone, I can’t just give who I am and what I’ve created over to anyone nor can I really apologize for doing what I feel is the right thing and can only apologize for the perceived harm it may cause to others.
It just doesn’t work that way.
And I can’t apologize for the harm itself.
That’s on you.
I have three ex wives who refused to understand that, which is chief among the reasons I’m single.
My own imagination used to torment me, and they’re only following the patterns of behavior established for them my own developing mind had created.
Have you ever imagined what conducting an orchestra is like?
The job looks so simple, right?
As the conductor stands there on the stage simply swinging the baton back and forth, you might be inclined to believe a metronome can do the same job as the conductor, right?
But when we see an orchestra on the stage, while what we see may be a deceptively simplistic presentation – anyone who’s studied music can tell you the most important person in that orchestra is the conductor.
Why is that?
First off, the key components of the orchestra have to be singled out and heard. The strings, the wind instruments, the vocals and electronic instruments – all have to be balanced properly, and taught to depend on the conductor exclusively as the focal point for the timing.
As the focal point, the conductor is taught to see where timing is off and why, and to support the people who depend on him in a reciprocative relationship. While key members of the performance staff can ‘stand in’ to discover and uncover balance issues, since the performer can’t simultaneously serve as the balancer without potential ego conflicts and questions concerning authority, while it’s possible to pull off the presentation without the conductor, a single go to source for authority is easier than the dependence on a performer particularly when egos get involved.
Look at David Lee Roth and Van Halen as a simplistic example of this problem.
WONDERFUL presentation. But because the lead man drove the presentation all the time, egos got hurt, and eventually this wonderful band fell apart.
The conductor doesn’t just manage the timing.
He/She/It manages the entire presentation.
Which takes planning.
And that, Clark, is what I enjoy doing in my own fantastical way.
Can you say the same?
Did you know I watched you growing up? From my perspective, as a young’un, you looked like Tom Welling, the actor does, and had a pretty awesome demeanor and friendly if affable personality, and would have been someone I would have been proud to have called a friend.
I’ve never watched the clips of the actor, the man who translates your world to mine on my stage and provides an easier way for my population to swallow the concept of alternate realities and multiple dimensions without exploding their adorable little noggins.
Speaking of alternate realities – to be clear we’re on the same page – I’m going to define some terms and explain some decisions I have made on how reality is organized.
There’s one master timeline for me reflected in my world.
That timeline revolves around my conscious individual perspective, and the history of it combines both my personal history and the world history that impacted my life and is effectively immutable.
For instance, key external figures and dates that are important in the influence of my life are JFK’s assassination and the Zabruder tape, Abraham Lincoln’s assassination and John Booth, George Washington’s presidency, the founding of my country in 1776, the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights with the right to bear arms and the right to free speech the most important, as well as the Miranda rights and the right to remain silent, 9/11, the Challenger Disaster, and then there’s figures such as Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and actors like Arnold and movies like Terminator.
All hugely influential and important to me in my life.
These aren’t the only important external events to me – there are other ones which – like the aforementioned ones – if you were trying to change or alter time around these events, you’ll find that history will resist and the world itself will begin having too many coincidental events happen which resist your change.
And even if you do manage to change something substantial, if you do, and you’re to remain on my timeline, chances are if you go just four or five years into the future from that point, history will snap back and will never mention the changes you made.
So. The external world – or the world around me has a history of it’s own that MAY BE different than my own. My mind passively censors and alters the experiences that refute my reality and worldview, but we’re working together in a better relationship as a result of my lack of desire to experiment with drugs and goal to learn new skills such as teleportation, time travel, and the ability to selectively alter what I see in the real world on a passive basis.
THIS external view of reality I have is what I refer to as MY universe.
AS an occupant of this – my universe – I have a history of experiences myself – from the time I drove a car for the first time, to the time I was electrocuted and nearly lost my life when I was 11 years old and started seeing through the veneer of reality for the first time, to the time I lost my virginity, to the time I got married, to the time I first jumped to an alternate reality and saw a Terminator world, to the visits and living in Hong Kong and Singapore, to the time I had sex on the beach with Lisa or had Jackie dance for me or had Rachel decide to come over and take off her clothes for no reason to my delight.
There may be OTHER conscious minds looking and perceiving the world through my eyes, leveraging technology, biology, or other abilities that I am not aware of.
THEY too have their own universe which is NOT one and the same as mine.
We MAY see things that are the same. We may have the same adventures. We may even overlap and have the same experiences and love the same women. But how I’ve come to term with the potential of ‘evil twins’ and other versions of me or other countries, agencies, and people who may not have my best interest in mind is through this – they are entitled and free to see and experience what they want to, up to and including manipulating me and causing me any harm or good they want to, but ultimately, I’ll remember what I choose to and choose solitude in my universe and use eternity and my ability to live in ignorance of the amount of time I’m doing this as my defense mechanism.
In a nutshell. I’ve stated this before. And I will state it again.
I always get what I want.
And the logic and rationality behind this is really, really simple – there are infinite possibilities available to everyone, I choose the one where I benefit and enjoy my life and it becomes an indulgent fantasy when I say it does, like right now.
So with this being my universe.
And Clark, you have your own, as does everyone else.
I will see, hear, and in other ways experience these worlds through various sources.
To explain how this works – I am the individual mind that guides my collectives reality in a top down hierarchical way similar to a waterfall style project management.
It doesn’t matter where, exactly, I am at, my mind, my thoughts, my desires, my passions, my experiences, my history, my plans – all – in an analog way influence the entire world in a butterfly effect type of way across space and time.
So let’s take a few of my numerous goals for the future.
I’d like to create an American version of Doctor Who, reimagined for the American public, and among my companions there would be Rachel, Jackie, and Cara Danvers from the Supergirl fictionalized universe.
My universe ‘knows’ this, and is actively altering the timeline for the people involved with the production of the Supergirl show in my world to develop scripts and plots which introduce Cara Danvers and Supergirl to the very real prospect of time travel and alternate realities to guide her to be introduced to me – at the same time getting her to question her combative I must always dominate through violence mindset that predominates every episode so she can slowly but surely get used to – intellectually – what being involved with my world will mean.
As the world watches these shows – the ‘energy’ and thought places pressure on her in her universe to conform to the ideals of mine, and one of two things will quite likely result – one – she might just conform for the experience willingly, or two – her mind may not be able to understand the nonlinear nature of time and the multiverse which may cause her to psychologically split where there will be many versions of her.
We’ve already seen evidence of the multiple versions of her with her appearing in two separate universes – Glee and the Supergirl show, but that’s a harsh way to achieve things so my preference is to guide her to my world and let her come to her own conclusions about violence and a desire to explore time and space with me that may lead her to discover me leading to a potentially causal relationship with time where we both believe – validly – that we discovered and steered each other to each other.
Time’s funky like that.
So. My mind and desires create a ripple in time, that ripple is sent back through time (or forward, depending on your perspective) to change the past history of this world relative to me to influence the individuals – cast and crew and investors – for the tv show Supergirl.
And EACH individual will then see tiny little things that steer them to create the elements in the show I want.
For instance, a show writer may see an unusual poster of a James Bond film where Q is holding a firearm, which makes the writer think about Supergirl’s and the message fighting and violence is sending to women around the world – and how many shows leverage combat which incentivizes the show writer to begin writing episodes where she’s not fighting.
Another writer may see a message in their email inbox, they dismiss it as spam, but I know their psychology so well I know they’ll read the subject line which says “Q’s to the discovery of a new super woman like you!”, which – when the other writer mentions non combat oriented episodes, this makes this writer think about Q and writing an episode which includes hints of a Q like being in the Supergirl universe and Supergirl proceeds down a path of trying to discover who this being is.
And then Melissa Benoist may drive by the Improv in Tempe, Arizona on a weekend trip she’d and sees the headliner “HEADLINER: Q Numen!”, and shortly after that, she sees an add on a billboard that says something like “Stop fighting, try something new!”
These little nudges push the script writers to present a new direction for the script, they first pass it by Melissa to see if she’s on board, and from there, having experienced the gentle Q nudging, she thinks of Q in Star Trek saying “That’s Marvelous” and approaches the producers of the show insisting on the change and modus operandi of the show for at least a couple episodes to see if they can take it in a new direction.
And the producers agree.
And towards the end of Season 3.
We see these episodes.
And the finale – leads her to the strange universe where Q..
You see, from my perspective there are infinite potential universes that exist outside my own.
Most of them I refer to and regard as fiction, and as I pick and select universe and storylines to include in my world and reality, and interweave them with stories of my own to my universe, this continues my will and desire to continue this existence and enjoy it on my weird terms.
AS the new Doctor Who – a female character will soon discover me as well – the actor portraying her is not one and the same I would see on television, in much the same way when I appear on the television show others will not see me the same way I see myself.
As for alternate realities and dimensions.
They’re loose terms, that for now – I will refer to an alternate reality is a historical deviation of my universe. And an alternate dimension is a physical deviation of my universe – where the laws of physics, space and time may deviate.
There’s pocket dimensions. Dimensions only accessible from one universe – in many cases, my universe has children there and people who I really don’t like who may or may not enter my universe (again) based on their choice.
Once ostracized from my universe doesn’t mean it’s permanent, and I’ve got copies of every personality and presence.
Thanks, Microsoft vs Apple – for that!
Hey Clark, hopefully your Friday is going well, I know I don’t have to ask any longer, I know you are listening and reading this.
When I was pursuing my MBA at Thunderbird, while I didn’t have a whole lot of time to myself with working full time, I made it a fact to do my own real-world research and experimentation into the subjects I was being taught.
Unlike my bachelor’s program, which I more or less just accepted the word of the instructors despite questioning many of their background, education, and experience with the real world, while I knew my professors in my MBA program were world class, I took it upon myself to not just understand what I was being provided as educational material, but also to question it by applying it.
For instance, In my undergrad classes, I had been introduced to the concept of statistics, a subject I had a terrible time with in my undergraduate work because of the format and official looking way the information was made to appear that this system – complete with tables containing esoteric labels such as z order, Pearson correlation and standard deviation seemed so utterly convincing with its believability because of how complex it appeared.
And as I got into statistics and probability in my graduate level courses, I had to laugh one day when I asked what I thought was a simple and benign question I had when it came to my understanding of a fundamental cornerstone of statistics.
There’s a term they use in statistics, all over the place – it is called ‘statistical significance’ – and this term is quite literally the most important part of all of statistics. If something is or is not statistically significant, this either proves (or) disproves the hypothesis being tested, or it can do other things like suggest the validity of the hypothesis is in question, or more information is necessary.
So while the concept is good enough, there’s a problem.
The chart in the book said this is what makes something statistically significant.
So I asked – who or what determines what is statistically significant, what criteria do they use to gauge the significance, and who defines these charts that we all depend on?
I never had the question answered.
Throughout the course, we had to read a GREAT deal of white papers – highly researched papers typically published by academics around the world.
White papers – if you’re not familiar with the term – are research papers typically created by academics or highly educated people which quite frequently appear in research-oriented journals. They usually cite other publications and academic papers, and are accompanied with a great deal of charts, tables, and – you guessed it – statistical evidence of their claims.
Here I was – unable to get answers for the most basic question I had about the cornerstone of most modern research.
Which made me think back to the time I – with my business partners when I created the company Touchscape and we worked together to create the original business plans for our investors when we were asked to project out our revenue for the next three years.
My partner, Brian Hoover – handled the financial projections, and in a similar fashion, he provided a great deal of evidence to support his projections, but what stuck with me was – how is it remotely possible to predict something to any degree of accuracy that was dependent on customer behavior?
It was through these two instances – I came to discover an interesting feature to human perception.
In general, when a presentation for something appears both professional and highly complex, even though the consumer of that presentation may not understand it, the consumer has a tendency to accept it as fact and the provider of said presentation as a subject matter expert in that material.
So what does all this have to do about the price of tea in China?
Statistics, in the same way projections and prediction of the future – require one primary component in order for them to be accurate.
So Clark, Superman, while I know you believe the apocalyptic world you showed me in the Mojave Desert will become my reality unless I reverse my course of action and choose to be something other than Q, I’d like to tell you you’re wrong.
First and foremost – the biggest reason is – your past does not dictate my future.
Sure, you can guide and influence the choices I make, and while it may appear that I’m a puppet on a string walking the same path you did at one time, there’s a synchronicity occurring between our two minds at this time where our minds are simulating a future you’ve arrived at based on who I am now, based on your belief that I am you and will become you.
Let me be clear.
That’s not happening.
Oh sure, I don’t mind traveling to post-apocalyptic worlds in a holographic simulation when the technology and time permits.
But I don’t want to become you, Superman.
And one of the biggest lessons I learned in love came from my third ex-wife – and that is that the things I do not want can be almost as powerful a moving force in my life as the things I want.
Which I suppose begs the question – what do I want?
Superman, I’m tired of seeing you die or get tortured on the screen, and similarly, I am tired of seeing the many variations of a man who tries so fucking hard to do good for a world only to see the worst of the worst arise to confront him.
That’s not fair to you.
And if I were in your shoes.
I wouldn’t want to remember all of that in an associated way anymore than I want to remember my past history as a God and the wars that have been waged by me and because of me. I enjoy the disassociated ways my memories have been presented to me, and I also enjoy that most regard it as not real. Even when I do start leveraging my abilities in public, there’s an exit strategy for those who plan to wage war on me – an extra dimensional exit being held wide open – so I don’t have to go through what you have gone through that shoves those who insist I have that future apocalypse – they get their way in an alternate reality and dimension and I receive it here in my world as fictional entertainment.
But you’re different.
You’ve chosen to retain your memories.
Why, I don’t know.
I can only assure you that the future you showed me.
While it may be in your past.
This does not dictate my future.
From my perspective, you have a choice to make on how to move forward, Clark.
I am not my father nor do I want to be him.
I respect him, I love him, and while I do appreciate the strong and not always tactful influences he’s made and contributed to my life – if I can make his life better or more interesting just by being me, I am so there.
Given the similar ancestry as an analogy, you are not me nor am I you.
This world is shaped by belief. Something I discovered a few years ago is that the literal geography and political lines and features of my world were all created throughout my life by the choices I’ve made.
Should you choose to inhabit my world.
My future hasn’t happened yet, for BOTH of us, and as I live out the days of my life, the history you may see from your perspective is ONE possibility in a sea of possibilities that- until the day comes that you choose to become god of your own design – the many past histories that contribute to you becoming you will constantly shift underneath you in a tectonic way.
Ultimately, reality is choice.
And what I learned with statistics is the same thing that I learned with my partner’s projections.
Relative to me, belief in a future creates that future.
Relative to me, belief in a past creates that past.
And just because it may sound or seem contradictory.
This makes it not contradictive to say that if you’re reading this in my future, that the past events that happened relative to you are not one and the same as the future events I’m going to live through.