A Confession – I robbed a bank

Have you ever seen a movie like Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery where the criminal mind elaborates The confession of high crimes before the crime‘s complete? Where the criminal is thinking that his or her (or it’s) true crime is ‘in the bag’, and the state police or FBI/Federal Agent at the last minute pulls a hat trick and in the nick of time stops a crime from occuring?

Consider this my criminal moment.

I have a really big secret to confess to you.

I’m about to detail the biggest bank robbery in the history of banking.

First and foremost – I’m going to tell you – before I’ve done it – that I’m going to commit the biggest bank robbery in the history of – well – the real world.

Second, I’m going to tell you where – and what bank and division it will be with: Wells Fargo – the Foreign Exchange Division in North Carolina, where I worked from March of 2003 until July of 2003 as a contractor through Technisource of Charlotte., North Carolina.

Third, I’m going to tell you the amount of money involved:

It will be WELL above the trillion dollar amount the United States currently owes in debt.

Fourth, I’m going to tell you precisely how it will be done.

Fifth, I’m going to tell you – when I get the money in October of 2016, as a white collar crime – the statute of limitations will have run out and I will not be prosecutable by any state or federal laws. And until then and after then I will walk this planet as a totally free man, unprosecutable by ANY laws.

And finally. I’m going to tell you.

It’s already happened. Yes, I’ve already committed the crime.

The song “This looks like a time for me, cause everyone needs a little controversy because it feels so empty without me” just cued up as background music here at O’Shea’s Pub and Restaurant in Granada, Nicaragua.

How is this possible?
First, A Botnet computer virus will be propagated by Stuxnet and Duqu based code, creating an undetectable Peer to Peer Network which takes advantage of cloud computing, virtualization, and virtual booting code available in 99.9% of the modern day BIOSes. It will also use WMI to misreport operating system conditions, use bootp signals to turn on and install itself on machines remotely, and uses script based tools such as nmap to scan for other systems and devices to propagate itself.

Second, it will leverage self modifying artificially intelligent code to perform two functions: This is based on the artificial intelligence work I’d done at Touchscape, which scans web sites and creates a look and feel of the customer’s web site to create a ‘help system’ alternative to offshoring help. It uses this technology to upgrade itself to new ‘fake versions’ of logon screens as new anti virus and protection software is unveiled to these new ‘looks and feels’ as they roll out, subclassing the windows at all levels – whether it’s BIOS, Kernel for whatever flavor of OS you’re running, or simple Windows.

Third, it will constantly be scanning all av forums and links around the world for new viruses and permutations, then use Biztalk for testing out new viruses through shelled virtual machines – and all versions of the ‘shell’. It then reverse engineers the code and leverages the ‘new stuff’ in an arsenal of it’s own to pretty much slice through any security. It took out Wells Fargo’s BIOS level security and subclassed the BIOS level security window within seconds, and to the security personnel, the logon window was indistinguishable from the real thing. Well I noticed a difference that was later cleaned up, it felt sloppy at first.

It also includes some other handy features such as remote BIOS flashing, mobile network device chaining and data buffering should a device or system be not reachable via a network, short circuits the NSA’s HAP, and shells windows similar to how Hardward Assurance Platform does to capture all communication, is not limited to just computers, and can go on pretty much anything that has electronics installed on, and uses AC wiring, bluetooth and wireless distribution with false reporting of statuses. And for encryption DLLs, it more or less captures input before and after using gems like registry level triggers, WMI administrative events, and routine ‘tasks’ created at the machine level to scan for and propagate information ‘between’ systems. It also short circuits tamper detection by misreporting file size information at the Kernel level with the BIOS hacks. Unfortunately, even TOR is shelled, that was a tough one for me to relent to, but alas, gotta tighten down them down. Also, RSA’s root level keys were stolen years back, which makes pretty much all of internet security crap if you have access to those keys…. Coincidentally (or not), a news article ran just today (probably using my own system) validating this.. Yes, I do think it’s quite possible this system can still be with me biologically… But the the list goes on.

Much of the ‘first round’ of this I demonstrated to security personnel at Wells Fargo, acting like it was a virus I was hit with. It took three days and about 10 sheets of ‘support evidence’ to ‘prove’ it was there (wow!), and they wiped the drive, which neglected the BIOS hack and completely reinstalled itself by the time the computer was turned back on. Worked brilliantly. I told them they hadn’t fixed it, despite me not having plugged it in anywhere. Their response was to trash the device.

Oh yeah. There’s no device limitation. It hops to TVs which have built in wireless, ebook readers, you name it if it has any connectivity capabilities it is hacked. Blackberry military grade encryption is blown too (thank you, Apriva!) – should banks be ‘lent’ that too… There’s flash circumventing devices installed that makes it impossible to remove off mobile devices… And all of them have been rooted – Android, Iphone… I demonstrated the android hack to a Wells Fargo Vice President and to a Verizon official I demonstrated the blackberry hack to just so they’d BOTH have visually confirmable ‘record’ of it…

So you’ve provided hack details. How does that obtain money?
So how does one get that much money? Use your imagination. With so much technology most people are dependent on, when you manipulate all the electronic information sources, you create their reality… And this is contagious.

A few little tricks:

  • Time delay news feeds for traders by minutes, hours, days. Thank you Lehman Brother‘s for the idea on this one! They taught me that you can ‘dilate time’ to act on information. While they went faster. I went the opposite way. Slower.
  • Inject news into the news rss and trade software news feeds that promote ‘new relationships’ between fictitious small companies or deflated penny stocks and big name companies. Thank you, distributors of SPAM and Facebook with its oftentimes annoying ads that promote useless products for that little idea!
  • Use ‘shell companies’ to divert gains to. Thank you, Enron, for that little gem! While they chose to offset losses to protect the company name, I chose to offset gains to maintain the ‘illusion’ of typical gains.
  • Backdate emails on the mail servers to create false histories of supportive evidence should one ‘question their memory’ of their investment and communication. Thank you, SEC, for charging Former Apple General Counsel for Illegal Stock Option Backdating and your contribution to that idea!
  • Get timely calls from ‘trusted friends’ concerning an investment, the timely calls use “Voice Sampling” technology to modify the spoken voice as it’s spoken to that of someone else, or uses a computerized script software such as cleverbot‘s cleverscript which manually has response systems similar to what current video games like Grand Theft Auto 5 has use based on that person’s profile to handle the possible responses. Thank you, “Terminator 2” for the idea for that one where the bad ‘cop’ mimicks the voice of John Connor’s stepmom.
  • Get supportive real world imagery and video of events, people, places and material using dynamic content generate similar to ‘3DS Max Camera Matching‘ for rendering things that ‘are not there’ into scenes, and rendering human faces ‘like this‘ that mimick the facial gestures ‘in software’ and match human discussions like ‘this talking head of Einstein‘. Thank you, Drake and Playstation 3’s Uncharted series for hints and ideas and the ‘behind the scenes videos’ for mimicking body and face movement!

When you control markets and screens and eyes of 60,000+ people in a major banking company and it’s investment and foreign exchange and associated companies for five years….

The trick is clearly to make sure the ‘at home’ experience is consistent with the at work experience. Thank you, Michael Douglas in “The Game” for the idea about the talking tv! That was magnificent!

Think of this as an investment for those who were originally involved with it!

Statute of Limitations Notes:
The statute of limitations for Federal Crimes in the United States of America is five years from the point of this type of crime. I committed the crimes in between the dates of March 2011 and July of 2011. So to err on the ‘safe side’ – We’ll pad the dates with two extra months giving me October 2011 + 5 years = October 2016 where I’ll be safe from prosecution.

Now in case they try to convict me on state crimes, the statute of limitations for fraud in North Carolina is 3 years from the TIME OF DETECTION. Today, 09/19/2013 + 3 years = 09/19/2016, add in a day or so error for leap hours/years (if any), and we’re well into ‘safe range’ of October 2013.

If they try to indict me in Arizona, Arizona’s statute of limitations is 3 years as well, but that could be from the point of detection as well. So October of 2016 is clearly within ‘safe range’ for both Arizona and North Carolina.

To ensure a fixed time of ‘detection’ – I am posting this message on both Facebook and here and sending emails to these sources:

The LA Times, the Ny Times, Fox News, The FBI Offices in Charlotte, North Carolina and my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona, Barack Obama’s email address, the Secret Service (since they deal with currency issues), the NSA, Department of Homeland Security, the White House, and a few others…

As God as my witness, and my friends and family who read this can validate with me – I am announcing it today for a reason – in October of 2016 all state and federal level statute of limitations will have run out, and I will not be prosecuteable.

And until that point, there will be absolutely no evidence of a crime.

I’m not going to tell you how I did it, yet.

But I did have help.

Hint Number One:
To be fair, I have to give you a hint. But there’s some technical detail to this.

The US is a debtor nation. This means the country has more liabilities than assets. If you compare this to a company, the United States would have been dissolved or filed bankruptcy and cannibalized by it’s debtors a long time ago.

In 2009, The largest portion of U.S. debt, 68 cents for every dollar or about $10 trillion, was owned by individual investors, corporations, state and local governments and, yes, even foreign governments such as China that hold Treasury bills, notes and bonds.

In 2009, Foreign governments held about 46 percent of all U.S. debt held by the public, more than $4.5 trillion. The largest foreign holder of U.S. debt is China, which owns about $1.2 trillion in bills, notes and bonds, according to the Treasury.

My first hint is: The largest holder of United States debt is China. I took trips out to Beijing, China in 2009 and 2012. China owns about 8% of America, and they are not getting a return on their investment. So it behooves them to find ways of improving their investment.

So maybe I’m a part of guaranteeing a return on that investment?

The REAL unrecognized ‘asset’ the United States has is the dollar itself. The advent of electronics and computers has guaranteed the US Dollar has secured it’s place as an IMAGINARY asset with perceived value. So it’s also in the best interest of these debt holders to make sure that this is maintained by someone who understands imagination.

With this, the nation is currently mismanaging it’s greatest asset. It’s hoarded, for those who have stockpiled it – it’s relatively unused by those who have it, and worse – it’s not shared. Needless to say, I’ll increase the cash flow through expenditures, but first, you have to guarantee a decent AND FAIR real world return on investment.

An 8% Guaranteed ROI Year over year for real world holders of US debt is more than fair and doesn’t imbalance the system. But first we have to outline HOW to guarantee this investment, right?

With that said, what does it take to ‘purchase’ the United States?

In 30 November 2012 the US debt was $16.369 trillion. For current amounts, go to the US Debt Clock web site here, and you can see that as of today, 09/19/2013, as of the moment i am writing this, the United States has $ 16,944,707,900.00 in debt.

So for you finance guys and gals and other forms of intelligence can validate my math here, I’m great at spending money but future value calculations are admittedly not my forte… So if you do the math on the US Debt, based on a 0.20% daily interest rate, by the time I recoup my reward, the following table demonstrates the accumulated debt bythe time October 2016 arrives.

Amount/ UDS$
(In Trillions)
16.369 11/30/2012
16.944 9/19/2013
16.948 10/1/2013
17.072 10/1/2014
17.196 10/1/2015
17.322 10/1/2016

What this means is – to effectively ‘own’ The United States, outright, one must purchase at least 51% of outstanding debt. To remove foreign influences, one must purchase all outstanding debt. I intend on paying cash for all outstanding debt, guaranteeing a return on the investments those who hold public debt own. To the tune of about 17.322 trillion dollars.

But there’s a minor glitch in the system. AS of September 1st, 2013, we have a total of $1.21 trillion total currency in circulation. This means there’s more debt than there is cash available. Which makes what I intend on doing.. physically impossible.

That’s the beauty of electronic and computerized systems. Physical impossibility does not make it electronically impossible. After all, where the hell would I store that much cash? Hussein had a couple billion, and that took up ROOMS.

So keep in mind, paper circulation is much different than my forte, electronics and computerized circulation.

I won’t bore you with details, but let’s just say the feds – in their infinite brilliance – made a series of moves with currencies starting with QE1 – Quantitive Easing – QE1, QE2, and QE3 aka Quantitive Easing Infinity. What they were TRYING to do was reinforce trickle down economics by increasing the money supply. What they actually achieved was reinforcing the debtor nation status and making what I will do possible.

The banks BORROW money from the feds – at little to no interest, and in turn – the theory goes that through trickle down economics, as you spend a dollar you will create value by saving a percent and spending a percent of that dollar, creating a cascade effect, making the amount of apparent money.. increase.

This theory is absolute crap, poor logic at it’s finest. But it’s the system this country – and capitalism is predicated on.

So in October of 2016, I intend on exploiting this poor logic, and I will buy the United States, outright, by paying electronic cash for it’s debt. I’ve used the feds own system against them, generating ‘electronic value’, and since the dollar is secured as the world’s currency, I simply pay off the debt, the US owes nothing, and the country can resume being the world’s leader.

So maybe current investors who have vested interest in ensuring what I am doing is successful could have participated? Things that make you go hmmm…

Hint Number Two:
American students are piling up debt with no promise of fulfilling work and jobs.

My second act will be to wipe the slate clean for all federal student loan debt held. So if you’re indebted ‘to the system’ for student loan debt. You no longer will be. That’s currently a total of about $1 Trillion US Dollars.

So maybe computer savvy students I’ve been working with who are as indebted as I am simply want more entertaining possibilities and a more interesting future?

And maybe attending University Of Phoenix from 2005 to 2007 and Thunderbird from 2008 and 2009 was more than meets the eye… After all, why did I need an education having been a long term success in IT anyways, it’s not like I’d make more money with a few degrees….. Things that make you go hmmm…

In closing:
A total amount just to ‘wipe the slate clean’ for American debt and student loan debt is currently at about $USD 18.5 Trillion. Seeing as the biggest bank robbery in history is only $1 billion (A list of highest dollar amount bank robberies can be seen here), I figure $18.5 trillion would just break even, right? Well I certainly don’t intend on ‘just breaking even’.

What I’ve done will shatter that record.

With a stable world wide currency that quite literally has a limitless/infinite amount that can be contained in ‘the currency pool’, electronic ‘currencies’ have made it possible to commit this crime – banking on perceived value – and has made it possible to skip becoming the first trillionaire in history and instead set the bar a bit higher and become the world’s first quadrillionaire.

Thank you, Office Space, Fight Club and What the Bleep do we know? for the wonderful ideas that made all this possible! Check these movies out yourself using utorrent and The Pirate Bay. A few other great ‘inspirational’ movies are ‘The Usual Suspects‘, “Now You See Me“, and the classic… “Catch Me If You Can

There WILL be changes afterwards.

Personal debt. I’m not sure how I’ll attack this. But I’ll look at debt, universally, and talk to some really smart people about ways forward to approach this and mitigate risk at the same time. A flood of capital can be a dangerous thing, with our ‘habits’.

And if you know me. You know how… Wild my ideas can be.

So just wait until you see what I do once those ideas have been.. capitalized.

Sometimes. You have to do the wrong thing. To set things right.

Enjoy my work?
Donations Appreciated!

Through PAYPAL:


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