Anyone who knows me well enough knows I have a peculiar way of looking at the world.
And as I get more and more comfortable in my Q shoes, the existing oddities that occur on this planet are slowly but surely going to be expanding, because, well, it’s often just entertainment to me.
Now I’ll say this – I began discovering who I was quite by accident.
For years, I’d watched hurricanes striking the United States in a particular region, and what I found was an interesting pattern in the hurricanes – year after year, I found it becoming highly predictable.
Here’s the pattern – in a path the hurricane took – that I observed:
So consistently, somewhere off the coast of Africa, year after year, storms would develop there. Typically, these storms would graze the islands in the Caribbean, but more often than not, I noticed that these hurricanes were striking Florida and would either move straight up the middle, quickly losing steam or they’d stay close to the coast with different results based on which coast they were on.
Now if these hurricanes stayed on the Gulf Coast side, they’d consistently pick up momentum and intensity. The same wasn’t true on the Pacific side. It was fun to me – as I began – oddly – rooting for these hurricanes wanting to see just how intense they could become before striking land.
I found it strangely.. exciting.
Now don’t get me wrong, year after year of observing this. I’d been checking into this and something called Hurricane Hunter” airplanes – which are especially equipped planes which are outfitted to fly through the eye of a hurricane. I’d actually dreamed of going through one of these rides myself for the simple thrill of it. And after numerous checks with the US Navy, who flies these planes – as a civilian I was repeatedly denied this.
I had been prepared to pay $10 grand for a ride – but they always said no.
In any case, I was actually enjoying the increasing intensity in the hurricanes – until finally. Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans and decimated the city and the entire coast there.
Now I didn’t know at the time I was actually causing this.
That my observations of a pattern and simple desire to see the destructive forces at work were resulting in the very real manifestation of my observations in the real world.
But after this, after seeing the devastation of a city, I no longer held interest in seeing anymore.
And resultingly, I quit observing.
Have you heard of a hurricane since then?
The power of observation combined with desire and intent.
Now just to be clear – human life and suffering wasn’t even a part of the consideration for any of this. In fact, for the life of me, I had actually been wondering – why would people knowingly choose to live in these coastal communities in this region of the United States knowing full well it was such a predictable path for these hurricanes – season after season.
I’d even asked Jackie Killeen – who was originally from Orlando, Florida and had spent a good deal of time living in Tampa, Florida – about her experiences with hurricanes.
She said they had ‘hurricane parties’ – and most of the time they simply weathered the storm. Most of the time they weren’t scared, and what I saw on the news about people barricading their houses and fleeing the path of an incoming storm was just that – news – and how most people like her just chose to stay behind.
I was amazed.
Now I wasn’t aware of who I was, and what I was becoming. I wasn’t aware I had ANY control in any of this.
I mean, let’s face it – I was taught to believe I’m only human. Something I had to discover for myself through weird things like this that I’m most definitely not.
In any case, the one thing I’ve given a great deal of thought about knowing this has been…
Life. And death.
Through this inadvertent act alone, I’ve killed nearly 2000 people alone. I’ve since learned that’s potentially just the tip of the iceberg, which has had me actively asking: Am I a good man?
It’s a tough question.
Like the President and a number of other world leaders. These people decisions, all the time, which both makes their careers and lives worth living, but it also costs people lives. Sometimes, tens of thousands of lives.
Knowing what I know about the universe, something that I’ve been taught over the last several years I do not doubt because of Katrina and other similarly related events, I don’t mourn these people. I know that on my stage they exited, but on another version of Earth that’s where they now quite likely never know what happened here. I’ve found ample proof of alternate realities and universes,
So yes, the answer is – yes I’m a good man.
Had I actually known what I was doing AND who I was – I’d have diverted my attention elsewhere. You can’t say what I did was a direct result of negligence or maliciousness, according to everything I’d consciously known at that time, nothing like what actually happened was remotely possible by me – or any living being.
Accordingly. I pay careful attention to where I place my attention nowadays.
I don’t like spending a great deal of time in welfare offices where there’s a bunch of ghetto crap going on around me, because I know that my utter hatred of this will manifest in ways that may not benefit the world around me.
I know that my boredom causes me to sink into depression, and I tend to get extremely negative.
Which results in bombings and other nasty shit happening around the world.
So- I keep myself entertained as much as possible.
I filter out these news sources which has a tendency to create a feedback loop in my mind which lends itself to further negative thoughts.
And I do my best to maintain positive spirits.
It’s not that I have anything to fear. I know I don’t.
I just know I have to keep myself controlled, mentally.
Katrina’s the lesson for that.
AS a final aside – I don’t ‘blame’ myself for the deaths and destruction that occurred with Hurricane Katrina.
There’s no one to really blame for this.
It just is what it is.