When I was growing up, I was picked on, constantly.
I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I would just invariably say or do the wrong thing and invariably would wind up with a bully in my face confronting me.
My parents moved me from Southern California to Glendale, Arizona in 1980, where this immediately persisted.
For the life of me. I didn’t understand why I was targeted.
I felt different than the others kids.
And as I would regularly get terrorized by delinquents such as Terry Cirkoth and Doug Booker – at least in Arizona I wasn’t fearing for my life like I had been in California.
Two years after all this, recommenced in Arizona, I finally got fed up.
As I got pushed from behind by a kid I thought was another delinquent, I quickly turned around ready to confront the boy when I found myself face to face with Doug.
In that nanosecond, I had the option to back down, Doug stood a good foot taller than me and would surely have kicked my ass. But whether it was another ‘lesser boy’ or Doug, I was done with the torment.
I stood looking him in the eye – and angrily with my fists clenched said
“Don’t do that again.”
“What are you going to do about it,” he asked.
I wasn’t a fighter. But between California and Arizona, I’d been pushed to my breaking point and was ready for it.
I mean, deep down I knew I’d get my ass kicked if I did anything.
But I was done with it.
And just didn’t care.
I stared at him intensely. And said in my most serious tone.
“I’m going to get my ass kicked by you. But I’ll get at least one hit in before that.”
He continued smiling.
And backed off.
Never again did he mess with me. In fact. It was almost as if the boy respected me. And from that point forward, I was never physically picked on by a bully again.
Now I’ve never felt good enough and have always dealt with insecurity throughout my life.
That’s been my demon.
Whether it’s been with my spouses, my friends, or – when I met the woman of my dreams – Rachel Gooch – that demon swallowed me whole as I questioned why this supermodel and amazing woman would choose to be with me.
I’d always dismissed it as fiction though, those little voices. And had for the longest time just just dealt with it all and considered it, and as time moved forward I more and more learned to tune it out altogether.
I’m not interested in fighting.
But I’m not afraid of it anymore.
I didn’t realize that all the drugs and alcohol I ingested wasn’t something that I took just for fun.
I was training for defense and offense with and against mental and psychological warfare.
I didn’t know that all the fictional books I loved about science fiction, fantasy, time travel, alternate realities. alternate dimensions and so much more weren’t just for fun.
It was all an introduction into the fantastic possibilities of the infinite universe across space and time and the denizens of it that I could potentially be confronted with.
I wasn’t aware that all my relationships and work experiences weren’t all based on choice.
They were an introduction to the wide array of perspectives, attitudes, personalities, and emotions the people of this planet have.
I never knew the physical exercise and adrenaline experiences I’d gone through and seeming lack of control of my body in contrast to others was for a reason.
I was exploring my physical form and understanding it.
Being Q isn’t just about acting like someone you see on the screen.
It’s waging war on existence itself until existence submits.
I am the mortal known as Brian Scott Gregory.
Who is Q. Always has been Q. And is becoming Q again.
And to you, the citizens of this planet Earth, I am placing you on notice.
I’m at war and don’t give a fuck if you never back down.
Because I never will either.
This world is mine. And so is this universe.
I’m homeless. It’s your responsibility as a planet to rectify my situation.
YOUR future as a planet is based on YOUR choice now.
Do you help me out?
Or do you continue ignoring me and pretending I don’t exist?
Watch The Borg on Star Trek Voyager and The Enterprise to see where not helping will lead you.
You’re right, Joe. I can be an asshole.
But I’m the asshole you all created by taking without any effort to give back.