“Hello, Hello, Hello?”, I said.
Despite opening my eyes, I was surrounded by total darkness.
I reached up to make sure my head and face were still there.
“Intact,” I said.
“Is anyone here?,” I said loudly.
I couldn’t tell if I was hearing an echo or not. I tried walking but I could feel no floor.
“Was I floating?,” I thought, I didnt know, I wasn’t sure.
“Let’s recant my memories, and what led here” I thought to myself.
“Now when I pressed the lever on the TARDIS without a destination, it was the equivalent of a trust fall, technically I thought it would take me outside of all time and space and… good god, that’s where I’m at!,” I rambled.
“Which means space and time are formative, and not just subjectively oriented. Oh this puts a neat little twist on things, doesn’t it. How do I reform the space and time continuum when I’ve so cleanly exited it?,” I said.
No one responded.
I tried moving around, feeling around my body for something which might be suspending me, and could find absolutely nothing. I was, for all intents and purposes, in a form of solitary confinement.
“Well so much for the confidence,” I said out loud.
No one responded.
I sat or floated or whatever one does when one’s in a dark area floating in the middle of nothingness.
“Was I floating?,” I thought, “I don’t even think I had a sense of what was up or down, so could what I was doing be construed as floating?”
I tried spinning around. But there was nothing to grab a hold of.
So I remained there.
Nothing was happening.
“HELLO!,” I yelled.
I was trying hard not to panic, despite his assurances.
“Mind the gap,” I thought. “Where did that come from?”
I pondered it for a millisecond. Or an hour. I was sincerely unsure how long I’d been in this position.
“Do I have to think of a destination?,” I said out loud.
I thought. And thought. And thought. Well, it wasn’t really thinking, it was actively coming up with ideas and dismissing on where I wanted to go, until finally, I just chose one.
“London, England, 2009,” I exclaimed out loud.
“Oh this isn’t good,” I said.
“Think, think, think,” I said out loud as I tapped my head. Or what felt like a head. In this place I couldn’t be sure of… oh stop that, I had to retain sanity by preserving what I knew to be my body….
“AHA!”, I said loudly. “Think”.
“London, England, 2009,” I thought.
Off in the distance. Or what appeared to be the distance was a flash of light. Like a star blinking brightly, ever so briefly, but then disappearing as fast as it was there.
But something told me there was more to that blinking than met the eye.
I thought the previous thought again.
“London, England, 2009,” I thought. Loudly.
AS if the magnified thought would help.
Again. Off in the distance, the flash of a light, only a little brighter this time, and again, disappearing as fast as it appeared the first time.
“Hmmm,” I said out loud. “So you do respond to the magnification”
This time I whispered.
“London, England, 2009,” I thought. In a whisper.
Again. Off in the distance, the flash of a light, only substantially less bright this time, to the point of barely being discernible, and again, disappearing as fast as it appeared the first time.
“It’s responding to thought,” I said out loud.
“But why is it so far away?,” I said.
“London, England, 2009, Closer” I thought. In a normal tone.
Again. Off in the distance, the flash of a light, and again, disappearing as fast as it appeared the first time.
There was something I wasn’t understanding…
A song went through my head “If I could turn back time….. If I could find a way I’d take back those words,” The lyrics to the Cher song cut themselves abruptly.
I hit myself on the head. I didn’t much like having lyrics like this randomly appearing in my head….
They repeated. Just those lyrics though.
“If I could turn back time….. If I could find a way I’d take back those words,”
“Wait a moment, I see what you’re saying,” I said, and then thought “London, England, 2009, at one tenth the speed of before”
Again. Off in the distance, the flash of a light, but this time, I could barely make out that the light had surrounded me and then disappeared almost as fast as it appeared the first time.
“Ohhhh, Ohhh, we’re making progress,” I said out loud, following by the thought “London, England, 2009, at one millionth the speed of before”
This time, Off in the distance, the flash of a light, but this time, in a spectacular display, I was surrounded by planets, stars, and – “wait a moment”, I thought – planet Earth was quickly approaching me, and then, as I ‘fell’ through the atmosphere, I screamed like a little girl.
I looked around, and had entered a green farmland and saw too rapidly for human eyes to discern the rapid build up of London as a city from farmland, from the 1600’s, 1700s, as if on fast forward – to the year 2009. For a moment, I stood on the outside of the TARDIS on a busy city street that I could barely glimpse the name “Earl’s Court”, as I reached out to touch the TARDIS and just as quickly I shot out through the atmosphere.
The planets rushed by, as did the stars, as did entire galaxies..
I was alone with my thoughts again.
A chill went up my spine. I still had one, that much was evident.
“Dear God, what are you doing to me?,” I said out loud.
“Awww awww awwww awww Staying Alive, Staying Alive,” by the Bee Gees I could hear being played in my head in response to my question.
I saw a flash of something in my mind
It was me.
From an outside perspective.
I was on fire, much like I’d been earlier, only much worse, and I was screaming “I don’t want to die!”
I didn’t remember this ever happening.
The song “Your own, Personal, Jesus”, by Depeche Mode played, only it wasn’t a version I had ever heard before.
It was Stacchatto, eerie even. Mesmerizingly precise, machine like almost, with a highly mathematical and hard beating tempo.
The verse came on “Your own personal Jesus. Someone to hear your prayers. Someone who cares.”
“Reach out and Touch Faith…,” the lyrics continued, and ended.
“What do you want from me?,” I yelled.
But then I started realizing.
“I’ve done this to myself,” I thought.
“Why am I blaming something external to me for something I myself had wanted?,” I thought.
“Was it easier being the victim?,” I thought
Then another song played in my head that I just had to laugh at:
“How long has this been goin’ on? Oh, I feel that I could melt. Into heaven I’m hurled. I know how Columbus felt.
Finding another world”
My mind reeled.
“You’re me, aren’t you, only,” I said out loud.
Then the lyrics came in to my head.
“Stop! In the name of love, Before you break my heart, Stop! In the name of love, Before you break my heart
Think it over, Think it over”
“The Supremes? You’re sending me the Supremes?,” I yelled.
“Think it over, Think it over,” the song replayed
I pondered the thought.
“I have a world to rebuild, don’t I?,” I said out loud.
The response sent a chill up my spine. Again.
“Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take,I’ll be watching you, Every single day,Every word you say, Every game you play, Every night you stay, I’ll be watching you”
And then. Another song I hadn’t heard before.
“Who’s gonna save the world tonight. Who’s gonna bring it back to life? We’re gonna make it you and I. We’re gonna save the world tonight,” In the same haunting, melodic, and almost machine like and beautiful tone I’d heard before.
It was then I wondered.
“Am I in the mind of the TARDIS?”