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The Scorpion and The Tortoise

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“It wasn’t a dream,” I protested, “I’m telling you it was real.”

“So let’s get this straight. You said you had somehow mysteriously slipped into a Coma, and after ten years, you came to only to be mackin on Jackie and then have Gina assist in your suicide?,” Spencer said.

“Sounds more like a warped fantasy to me, “ Gina said, “I’d never assist you or anyone in suicide,”

“Don’t you see what’s happening? Your collective minds are so powerful together, you’re actually altering and invalidating my world, my reality, and my life experiences” I said, “Is it any wonder I tried committing suicide in the desert that day in 2011 and have the scar to prove it in my present? When I look at that scar it is my evidence to myself to remind me what I saw that day and the days around them which none of it was fiction as you – especially you two – would prefer to assert.”

“I’m not convinced,” Spencer said.

“I didn’t know you were leading the group,” Jeff said.

“Here’s all I’m saying. He’s had a history of deception with all of us, I can’t trust him, WE can’t trust him at his word,” Spencer said.

“We are in a time traveling ship he built,” Roz said, “Is is at all possible there’s more to any of this we’re all not understanding”

“You’re all familiar with the story of the scorpion, right? Where it rides across a river on the back of a turtle, and once it’s across the river, it stings and paralyzes the turtle. The turtle asks why did you do that and the scorpion replies ‘I couldn’t help it, it was in my nature.’,” he said.

“And he’s a Scorpio!,” Gina said.

Everyone was silent for a minute.

I broke the silence.

“Are you all familiar with superstition?,” I said.

Spencer responded “Don’t patronize us. Of course we do.”

“Do you know how they get formed?,” I asked.

He thought for a minute, and said “Uninformed and uneducated views of reality.”

“Precisely, “ I said

“That has absolutely nothing to do with what we’re referring to. You’re asking us to trust you. To create a clone of someone we all care about, and then to insert memories into her because of a dream you had,” he said.

“Spencer, do you understand analogies? Metaphor? You’ve established a pattern based on past observations of my behavior, and have done the equivalent of a mental persecution of me based on potentially – as you stated – uninformed and uneducated views of reality. Even as you come to explore time and space you see the potential for infinity, yet you still cling to your beliefs that I’m precisely the person you came to previously observe,” I said.

“How is that remotely fair to me?,” I added, “Especially as I’ve presented hard evidence that I am not that man?”

He didn’t say anything. Had it been a private conversation, it’s the type of conversation I knew would have lasted for hours and would never have seen a true resolution or agreement.

“I’m directing the TARDIS to two points that Jackie and I had sex that I remember. Two DNA samples, mine and hers, are all you need. How you obtain them is entirely up to you,” I said.

“I don’t want to watch you having sex with her,” Spencer said.

I frowned.

“Look. I have no doubt you all are going to be asking me to do funny and weird things for you and on your behalf when I am consciously capable of directing the TARDIS in person too. I’m already – at this moment – by any repulsion I have over seeing any of you going at it, but not entirely wanting to be a part of it either. We need one guy and one girl as witnesses, Gina, since you’re the nurse here do you mind being the woman?,” I said.

Spencer looked at her as if wanting her to say no,but she ignored him.

“I’m fine with that,” she said,

Spencer vehemently refused to “I am NOT participating with this!,” he said.

“That’s fine, I said. Are the rest of you ok with a flip of the coin deciding the answer. I’ll use a pseudo random number generator here to select who does it which should wind up deferring to the universe to decide. Here was the code used to generate the name: ? choose( ( 1+ round( 3 * rnd( 3 ) ) ), “Kevin”, “Bill”, “Ron”, “Jeff” ), and Bill was selected, Bill, is that ok?,” I said.

“That’s fine,” he said.

“Oddly I was thinking of selecting you anyways,” I said.

He didn’t say anything.

“So first and foremost, if you’re familiar with the TARDIS’s ability to adjust its scale – put specifically, it can become subatomic in size or the size of a small planet, I ask that you do NOT adjust the scale to obtain the sample. Swabs are fine, it’s a cultured sample we’re looking for from the point of contact, so yep, that means you gotta get in there,” I said

“You sure you’re not just being a pervert,” Becki said, smiling.

“While the thought of it is a mild turn on, no, the samples are there to establish a linear timeline for memory retrieval, that way the clone’s memories are consistent with the records we’ll be providing, the new information from the dream, and the DNA samples we’re providing,” I said, “In general the more information we provide for creating a clone the better, but too much information introduces a problem I won’t get into now, so this should create a nice balance between the two.”

“So we just pause time, take our samples, and leave?,” Bill said.

“That’s the way I’d do it. But you two figure it out and let me know how things worked,” I said.

Bennett piped in, “I didn’t want to be included, but why didn’t you include me in that list?”

“I don’t know if you were born yet when this happened,” I said.

“I was born in the 90’s, dude, this happened 10 years afterwards,” he said.

“If only it were that easy, Bennett. I didn’t meet you until 2014. There’s no guarantee, on a linear basis in my timeline, that you were born before I met you,” I said.

He shook his head, clearly not understanding, “It shouldn’t make a difference, you’re asking us to get samples from you,” he said.

“Collectivist minds vs Individual minds,” I said, “it’s difficult to explain but I’m mitigating risk by not including you.”

“Why are you arguing with him,” Spencer said, “Like any of us want to do this.”

“Let’s just do this. Is that all,” Bill said.

“That’s it for now. I’ll pop back in a bit once I find out how things went,” I said.


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