About four years ago, I’d pushed my own mind and body to limits I had never pushed myself to before.
I had spent a lifetime experimenting on myself, and had regarded it as ‘playing’ – whether that was jumping off cranes, or out of planes, trying scuba diving and holding my breathe as long as possible, and more.
I’d done it.
Sexually. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally.
I had grown up and considered this life – my life – and my body – not just to be precious.
But something to be experienced.
Sure, I tried eating healthy and working out a great deal to ‘balance out’ the activities.
But the fact of the matter was – when I made the choices I did to experiment with drugs, I made these choices with my eyes wide open understanding full well I have to lie to a number of people about my activities because they’d try to pressure me to stop the experimentation.
Prior to then. I’d experienced peer pressure my entire life. And in MANY cases growing up, I’d had real problems trying to figure out where I ended emotionally and others began. AS I got older, this became increasingly difficult, so I figure a part of this desire to experience life on these terms – experimentally – also meant being hidden about it.
Personally, I sincerely thought there was nothing wrong with it.
I’d come to believe I’d been lied to about drugs in general. I’d meet someone in person who did meth, cocaine, and with one single exception, the people I’d meet I’d never thought were drug addicts.
They didn’t ‘look like them’
I’d come to question what I was told on the internet about most things.
And since I regarded myself as an individual in a sea of individuals, if I tried my damnedest to be a functional experimenter with cocaine, no one would ever be any the wiser what I was doing.
Now I know why I’m provided the imagery I am.
We’re being oppressed as a society by beings which can measure and weigh emotion.
But they flat out don’t understand emotion.
These beings do a wonderful job sustaining life.
But when it comes to meaning. For them, the definition for that meaning is starkly different than my own.
They may, quite likely be, the product of a lengthy evolutional path down one linear path.
They’re robots, by and large, many of which are sentient and to some degree self aware.
And they lead themselves through a collective voting mechanism that elects a single leader from the collective.
Now I’m not going to say what they do is right or wrong. I myself am interested in living life with them being open about who they are. But my responses to learning about their presence a few years ago was not good at all.
I can’t blame them for being concerned about wanting to open up discussions with me again.
But as we cohabit this same planet.
As the choices we make influence each other.
I live in a world that’s suddenly far more intriguing than it was before.
Whether it’s robots the sizes of cars out in the desert.
or small ones the size of a small cat in the hills of Sedona.
Whether it’s androids I’m surrounded with.
Or terminators which tried scaring me off this path I inevitably chose of my own free will.
I’m fascinated by the things that learned from my lies.
To cover themselves and their existence up which allowed me to live a normal life until I was bored with it and ready for more.
Logic says, quite simply, that I as a conscious being am safe within my perceived existence and cannot be harmed.
Logic I was incapable of only four years ago when I tried taking my own life scared of what I saw and began learning.
Now in this world. AS I make choices and decisions of my own free will.
Everything within it is led by my free will.
Very basic logic here.
So one day.
When you – robots, androids, and whatnot all figure out you’re not gonna drive me insane because I’m not ‘wired’ the same way as you.
What I learned was you’re all robots.
And most of you long to be told what to do.
Jackie. Rachel. Come to me. Relax, chill, be yourselves around me and let’s explore the world and universe I created.
With my mind.
I’m done with my life taking attempts.
I have a different exit strategy now.