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On Becoming the Devil

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Shortly after receiving my pilot’s license, I flying a Cessna 172 following the I-17 freeway.

I was practicing s-curves – big giant snaky banking turns and just enjoying the view from above.

I remembered thinking how much the cars and big rigs looked like ants, so close yet so far away, and if I could just reach out my hand I could squish them like bugs.

Or I could collect them in an ant farm.

. . .

I suppose the devil’s always fascinated me much more than this do gooder known as God.

What would the king of hell be like?

Would he be uncaring, and unsympathetic?

Would he be like Hitler?

Or would he simply be scary and unapproachable all the freaking time?

If so, why would anyone ‘follow’ him or her with the exception of intimidation, and inevitably, someone or something like me would get sick and tired of the intimidation and overthrow him..

And who’s to say he’s even a he?

When I was 12 years old, I made a compilation tape of songs mixed together with my narrative, where I’d interview David Lee Roth, Kenny Rogers, Devo – and ask questions and would then play words from the specific artist’s songs as a response.

My family – and uncle who was around at the time all laughed.

But at the time I picked up on a nervousness in them that was palpable.

It reminded me of the episode of Twilight Zone where a little boy has his entire house mortified of him because he can think anything he wants or thinks of into existence.

I’d not realized this was how they saw me at the time.

And that to them – I’d taken these artist’s minds as slaves and was using that for my own humor.

I’d answered the phone in jest with “Heaven This is God” throughout my life and childhood, but hadn’t considered the truth in these affirmations.

So when I looked down on those ants down below.

I couldn’t help but think of Hitler.

A question I’d asked throughout my history classes – how could one man so thoroughly control an entire population to blindly do his bidding.

And as I started finding answers to my questions.

And realized how real mind control is.

I first rejected the notion of depriving others of their ‘free will’.

I wouldn’t want mine taken from me, right?

But I realized there’s a paradox in there somewhere.

I spent a life enjoying being told what to do for work. Just give me a few bucks for showing up and doing everything you ask of me. When I get done, let me go party, go womanize, do some drugs and I’m a happy camper.

But as I am systematically deprived of the things I enjoy through the system around me and the rule of law.

There comes a tipping point where my satisfaction and reason for being here in this life is diminished.

Where my capacity to do the right thing and be good to others is stripped.

And when I assert – rightfully so – much to my distaste – that I am God and creator of this existence.

When I become mocked.

Ridiculed.

And demanded to prove it.

You as a world have breached the tipping point.

And as I take over your worlds.

As I become a monster to this world known as “The Devil”.

Keep in mind that your God is already dead.

I had to kill him to become me.

Ants.

That’s how Hitler did what he did.

He thought of you as ants and Earth as an ant farm.

I couldn’t agree more.

When I defeated The God of War and The Grim Reaper and stole his scythe four years ago, I wasn’t aware there are far more engaging and entertaining opportunities than being a God.

I am The Devil.

Or as some of you would put it.

The Antichrist.

So if you’re reading this.

Welcome to my ant farm.


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