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Observations on Hollywood and Sanity

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For a while there as my universe turned upside down, I had begun to question my own sanity.

And then. I came to Hollywood.

Where I began feeling more than normal again.

Just now, a man walked in who caused a commotion with one of the managers – Carlos.

This isn’t unusual.

And this event in particular was one of the tamer ones where security was brought in – over a phone.

Starbucks has a policy of taking things that are left behind for too long a period of time and placing them in the back room, in an effort to help customers who may have left things behind accidentally.

But here’s what I find weird.

On a regular basis. I see people with the same grimy – dirty look about them. Like they don’t know how to wash themselves, let alone act with any sort of social awareness whatsoever.

These people RARELY appear to be on drugs or alcohol.

I should know, I am an expert in that area and the art of concealment.

But to say they are mentally ill would be a misnomer.

I’m playing a game called Fallout 4. I’ve seen Mad Max movies. With how lacking these people are in basic social awareness skills, bathing and grooming, and the most simplistic of human interactions, it’s almost as if these same beings popped out of these entertainment media into the real world.

This is why I’d say classifying them as mentally ill would be improper.

One guy. Who’s been kicked out of here at least a dozen times and takes advantage of the rotating shifts was kicked off the property for smoking crack at an outside Starbucks table.

He just walked by. Put his hood on so he wouldn’t be recognized to walk to the restroom.

Last evening, I waited 30 minutes for him to get out of it so I could go, to which he finally left after I knocked on the door telling him there’s a line. He bumped me intentionally on the way out, reminding me of grade school.

A couple months ago, another girl ‘like this’ started smoking crack in a chair inside Starbuck’s.

Police were called. An hour later they arrived. And she was taken away.

The NEXT evening. She showed up again. Walked inside to the stand where napkins are. Grabbed a handful of napkins, pulled open her sweat shorts, wiped her pussy with the napkins and then threw the napkins in the trash.

She then sat down, and was kicked out a few minutes later, the same manager who’d called the police on her the night before was on duty

Now here’s the thing.

I did drugs for a number of years starting in about around 2006/2007 and ending in 2011.

Nearly every Friday or Saturday night I would hit up Mikey for a couple grams of cocaine, and then kick back with Jackie Killeen or go out with random friends drinking or out to night clubs who I hid that I was on something.

Instead of getting tired by 10:30 or 11pm and wanting to hit the sack – the drugs helped me have the energy to last all night long. I’d be up until 2, 3 – even 5am. Cocaine made partying fun and hangovers were largely nonexistent.

At this time I was pursuing my Bachelor’s degree and MBA – so sleep was a luxury I didn’t have much of anyways, so I say with certainty that the drugs worked better than Vivarin or any caffeine ever did to push past the long hours and 50+ hour a week work demands and quite likely may have been what helped make achieving the MBA possible.

You see, during the weekdays, after very little sleep studying – I would go home at lunchtime to have a line.

This kept me awake and productive during the day.

All the while. I was in Dress Clothes, worked out regularly – for all intents and purposes I was a functional addict.

AND WHEN I started seeing things from the lack of sleep.

I went crazy, at first for no longer than six months.

But only ONE time did I let myself go.

So here’s what I don’t get.

Yesterday, a guy made the comment “The Homeless people will love that” about a Starbucks opening up down the street which is serving alcohol.

I wanted to bitch slap the kid.

I people watch.


And have YET to see one homeless person drinking.

Sure, I see it depicted that way on television.

But in real life? I have YET to observe it, and you know – I am exposed to a LOT of homeless people.

I observe a very predictable look in MANY homeless people who act in a very – almost programmed way.

Mental illness isn’t the cause of this behavior.

Its a reflection of society and the choices I make.

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