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When I have a billion bucks…..

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When I have a billion bucks….

I will get all my dress clothes custom made in Singapore. I will take trips there in my private jet to get them made and custom tailored there.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will hire prostitutes ONLY in Amsterdam and Thailand. Two wonderful places, custom made for the ‘best of the east’ and ‘best of the west.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will create my own Starship modeled after the USS Starship Enterprise which appears in the fictional tv show Star Trek, and name it the USS Phoenix for personal reasons.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will create a real life holodeck, a programmable room you can walk into that provides full sensory immersion of programmed environments with ‘safety protocols’ built in to prevent harm to the occupants.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will create a real life TARDIS, or Time And Relative Dimension In Space, which is actually ‘bigger on the inside’.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will create a theme park called “Magic” in what used to be the area known as Legend City in downtown Phoenix, a partially underground park which revitalizes the area and focuses on immersion into a magical Harry Potter type world where magic is alive, made possible through science.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will create another theme park in the Heart of Texas named accordingly, “The Heart OF Texas” which looks like – from space – a Sheriff’s badge – and has – at the SIX corners of the star – pyramids built by selected cultures around the world. Each ‘section’ of the the star will contain a different climate including a center climate area which will denote the planet’s seven primary climate areas and feature rides and entertainment based on these areas.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will create a movie studio where only attractive women from every potential race and ethnicity are permitted to work, with me of course, where casual sex will be a mandatory hiring requirement, and no clothing will be allowed at any point of production.

With this movie studio we’ll make an all new version of Star Trek. Done right. Rated ‘R’ for nudity (and no violence), with every male character being CGI rendered, a mash up between Doctor Who and Star Trek featuring an origin story for the Borg and Q.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I will fund research into Bath Salts and create different derivatives of it. I will be my own test subject.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will buy Gregory’s backpacks (the world’s best backpack maker) and fund research for tents and camping equipment and associated water resistant, lighter weight, yet breathable material. That and tent pegs. There HAS to be a better way to put a lightweight stake in the ground without bending it on thick soil every freaking time.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I will buy a Ferrari. And drive it around all the time. Just because I can.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I will invite Scarlett Johannson out on a date. Not that money makes it possible, but it certainly makes it easier.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I will buy the company who makes Ramen Noodles. Nissin I think is the company And leverage food science from astronauts and space based missions to make better condensed noodle combinations with more flavor and maintain inexpensive costs.

When I have a billion bucks….

I will work with the FAA directly to develop rules and regulations for flying vehicles, and hire experts accordingly.

At the same time. I’ll invest in flying car technology and training.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I’ll create a new business which caters to men and does manscaping. And work with professional athletes and leaders to make sure it’s cool and in fashion and not gay and doesn’t specifically cater to the gay crowd.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I’ll work with the US Army to create a real Captain America program.

When I have a billion bucks……

I’ll buy a house next to John Travolta’s. And park my custom 777 as close to his 737 as possible. Bigger is better.

When I have a billion bucks……

I’ll pay someone to create architecture and art that looks like giant penises all around the world.

That and I’ll pay to create Nazca lines that look like a giant penis.

When I have a billion bucks….

I’ll pay Bill Gates to make a custom software that is my own practical joke terminal.

When I have a billion bucks….

I’ll create a super secret non profit organization called Section 31 which does nothing but play practical jokes on unsuspecting people we feel need to lighten the fuck up around the world.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I’ll develop memory altering technology and alter my memories to repaint every attractive woman I ever see as being completely nude. Never with clothes on. From this point in time forward.

When I have a billion bucks….

I’ll tip better. Unless your service sucks. Then I’ll tip appropriately.

When I have a billion bucks….

I’ll run for President.

Just kidding! Not.

Why in my right mind would I EVER do that?

When I have a billion bucks….

I’ll fund research and development efforts in 3d and virtual reality – immersive non combat oriented role playing games.

When I have a billion bucks…..

I’ll have reconstructive surgery done to my ears to make them pointy. And tell everyone I’m Vulcan.


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