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Life on the Outside

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One of the things that’s surprised me the most about being homeless is how it feels to be looking in on society from an outside perspective, as if I’m observing it through a looking glass.

And with this, I had never realized before just how much I had not questioned my information sources.

For instance, I have a friend here – Adam – who just provided me a ‘quote’ from a message that had gone viral.

“20 years ago, they were saying don’t meet people on the internet and don’t get into cars with people you don’t know”

An obvious reference to Uber, and how people leverage that as a taxi service.

And while Adam is an intelligent guy, as he made the comment “Look how far we’ve come”.

I had never heard those sayings 20 years ago, nor had I heard those saying said in reference to anything other than a child being told not to take candy from strangers.

Before my cerebral change… I’d looked at most everything on the internet at what I thought was face value.

Fiction was fiction.

Fact was fact.

And conspiracies were largely the products of nut jobs, paranoids or those trying to fuel paranoia

But now that I’m on ‘the outside’.

I realize just how much fiction there is to fact.

How much more fact there is to fiction.

As I scratch my head wondering just how long I’d had my head in the vice grips of society gone cuckoo.

Am I the only one who traces down and tries talking to subject matter experts in areas of diverse as computer science, physics, literature, world politics, business, and leadership, all to find it leads to smoke and mirrors?

Am I the only one who’s quit listening and reading the same news discussed over and over again in a cycle because it’s the same news with different names and faces every few years?

No I’m not.


This message is addressed directly to you.

I call myself Q in honor of the man I saw on fictional shows as I discovered fiction is real.

You said yourself – in one episode – that Jean Luc-Picard is the nearest thing to a friend you had. A friendship which you forced yourself upon that man antagonized him, and while I understand it, I’ve learned that friendships are not things you can not easily control and sometimes you absolutely have to be something you may not normally be with them and for them.

I know you’re real. And I know you were watching me through the window the other day, and in particular, watching what I was doing.

I have gotten way past the point of not giving a rat’s ass if people think I’m crazy for my beliefs, I used to think the same thing of others and this being called God and tales of talking snakes before, until I started seeing things myself and questioning not just their origin – but my own.

You said it yourself. You wanted a friend.

And for me. My friendships in the past were hard work at times. I went out at times I didn’t want to. I did things I didn’t want. Hell, I even shared women with them on occasion. And while this all doesn’t create a concrete list of what a friend is, it outlines in part the lack of control one has of yourself and of what you do when you’re with them.

No. I’m, not trying to trap you. Quit being paranoid and quit assuming your agenda is mine.

I’m you. When you first started. Only something changed. I made a choice somewhere you didn’t.

And as I understand and look at life from the outside.

Without the paranoia I felt my entire life.

And associated blood pressure and anxiety issues.

I’m not asking that you take me on a journey through time and space.

I’m asking you show me how you do it.

In person.

And let me learn by observing you.

You see, I think I’ve been on the outside my entire life.

And that’s how I learn.

By observing. And interpreting things for my own world.

I’d like to meet you. Without the shadowy mission impossible shit. Just to chat about life in general.

Have you ever done that?

Sat down and had a normal conversation without feeling the need to elevate yourself or amaze people with your powers? How would you feel if I wasn’t amazed? If I just simply watched, learned, and listened to an old master?

Someone I greatly respect.

And someone who – while he may technically have been God.

To me, he’s merely a man with a brilliant mind who may stand the potential of becoming an amazing friend and partner in crime with the practical jokes.

Or do you prefer hiding in the shadows and pretending you don’t exist?

I know better than that now.

Do you?

Come chat with me. For real. In person. Let’s start planning out a future.

Unless, of course, you’re not interested in one.

Then let’s plan on an exit strategy

Either way. Come chat.


I’d like to teach you what having a real friend is like.

And my friend, you aren’t always going to be able to control me or me you.

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