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It’s all relative

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Back in 1993, I was living in the Pike fraternity house and had been taking classes at Arizona State University, when I was trying to figure out where to for for a burger when my roommate, Steve Lishnoff, said “Let’s got to Chuck Box”.

I had never heard of the place.

About half a mile down the street, right along the side of the road with a sign that said “Since 1972” was Chuck Box.

I’d traveled this street literally hundreds of times prior to then and this place just wasn’t there.

Flat out wasn’t there.

It was the first time I began questioning the credibility of anything claiming legitimacy through longevity.

After all, logic suggests that if it’s been around that long, then they are clearly doing something right, right?

But I’d started long before then questioning longevity.

“Respect your elders” for instance, as I had come to question any adult who told me to do something that just felt wrong.

When i was 17, I would drive to the “Devil House” for dancing for Sunday nights, and there was nary a restaurant in the area at the time. The Devil House, in fact, stood all alone in 1986 and nothing – and I do mean nothing – was nearby. Scottsdale road was a lonely road and the next closest business was ASU to the south and to the north was Big Surf.

The freeway hadn’t been built yet, so University was the easiest way to get there from the I-10.

So there was more to this temporal malfeasance by Chuck Box than simple corporate deception, as I sat there eating a marvelous burger and at first thought “How Did I miss this place?” – As the place seemed – felt – like it had been around as long as they said they had.

There was an authenticity about the place that defied the fact that it had appeared – to me at least only having been there since 1989, the last time I had driven down to ASU and the Devil House prior to deciding to attend there.

Not long after that – I began noticing things.

Picking them up mentally and storing them – mind you – not things I really actively understood.

Whether it was restaurants saying “World’s best OR first xxxx”.

I couldn’t help but think – was this just marketing?

or another question I had asked – why was baseball’s “World Series” only involving United States and Canada’s teams?

The rabbit hole kept going.

Last night, at three in the morning, I had a black guy who was hopped up on meth try to get into my tent to steal things with his two partners, a white skinhead and a short Mexican guy.

This startled me awake, and my only reaction was instinctual. I socked him in the face.

His friend, the white skinhead a taller guy – ran over at me with something in his hand, I knocked it out of his hand and then nailed him, hard, in the throat with the palm of my hand, choking him, then he took an elbow to the face which knocked him out cold.

The short Mexican looked at me, mortified, as I started to come towards him and the black guy started apologizing, trying to pick up his friend who wasn’t responding.

I said “There’s a dumpster down there that’s big enough to fit all three of your bodies.”

Then something happened that I can’t explain.

A glitch of some kind.

Everyone’s position changed, even mine, I was now much closer to my tent. And that entire ‘scene’ didn’t occur.

But somehow I had erased their memories of the event and retained my own, which felt.. somewhat distanced.

The guy I’d knock unconscious was now on his feet, to my left instead of my right, and I could tell – whatever had happened they weren’t comprehending as well.

They all ran, the guy I’d knocked out was now gibbering like a lunatic as they ran out of my area.

But the scrape I have on my right hand is still there.

So what happened?

All the above and more. They lived, so that is the actuality of my reality. But the other two where we got into a fight and they didn’t survive – both real – occurred in the blink of an eye and were replaced with the final experience.

Going back to Chuck Box.

Similar event. In it’s reality as an organization. It commended in 1972. In mine. It was ‘spliced in’.

I’ve gotten over thinking this is all some big grand conspiracy that’s being perpetrated against me.

I have memories of being Bill Gates, making corporate decisions and coming to a point where I had lost my mind because of the pressure the amount of money and responsibility I had was exerting on me.

I also have memories of being the CIO of the United States in a separate reality. Of being the President in another.

As I have struggled to gain mental control of my own mind and reality from a single linear perspective, I have witnessed, time and again, where the linear reality breaks down on occasion to expose the ‘infinite possibilities’.

So Chuck Box. Originated on one ‘thread’ of reality. And because of the significance of the contribution it introduced to me coming to terms with my own mind and the infinite possibilities of reality, i allowed it to shift into mine.


Columbus. Widely credited with being the first to find ‘the new world’ and prove the Earth was spherically based – in 1492, is yet another instance where credit is given where credit’s due even though Leif Erickson discovered America nearly half a millenia before in 1001.

Who was first? Technically, because the Columbus thread ran ‘first’ Columbus was. But chronologically, Erickson was.

It all depends on your perspective of time, right?

Now what I suspect and have learned is that Earth was formed through a lengthy process of ‘runs’.

As is most everything.

Possibilities and different versions of the planet created similar to a simulation, which over time began merging together to establish a history, spliced together much like a Hollywood movie from a selection of different world histories to create a single linear timeline.

And all throughout my life, I have seen the evidence of this. Established in a different world than my own in 1972, but somewhere between 198 and 1993, it ‘shifted’ into my own world.

Now here’s the question I posit to those who are incredulous of these discussions:

When I (or you) play a video game.

I choose for my character to go left, and he dies, I restart my game. I again choose for my character to make that same left turn, and he dies again.  I restart my game. I again choose for my character to make a right turn. This time he lives. I finish the game.

Somewhere else in the world, a friend of mine is playing that same game. SHE approaches the same situation and makes a right turn and dies. Restarting the game, she then makes a left and dies that way. Restarting the game, she then does something wholly unexpected. NOTHING.And the thing that killed her ran right by her and she proceeds on her merry way after that’s done. She then finishes the game.

So what’s the best way to finish the game?

This is a trick question.

First, we have to come to an agreement what ‘finished’ is. Does that mean making it through to the end alive?

You can’t always assume that. I’ve played games where the characters die in the end.

But let’s assume the mutual goal is to make it through to the end of the game.

Which path was the best path to achieve that end?

It’s debatable, right?

BOTH the path I took and the path the person on the other side of the planet took are both valid paths to reach the same end, right?

Now we could put other metrics in place such as ‘fastest time to achieve’ the end to really declare a winner, if that’s the goal, but as I have found when playing games, sometimes it’s just nice to reach the end and not worry about further competition…

SO BOTH paths reach the same end.

So taking this back to Chuck Box.

Let’s say the path I took was the fastest.

But let’s say the path the person on the other side of the planet saw some pretty amazing scenery that I never had the chance to see. Let’s say that scenery included a Chuck Box (as if).

BUT let’s say Hollywood was filming the event from both our perspectives.

And someone said “Wait. I want that scenery in”

Same game. So when I watch the replay, I say “THAT was never there”.

But it was. I just had to make different choices.

But here’s the twist.

Had that path been there all along?

Games are delivered and distributed around the world with regional encoding and customized for that region. Asian games are one region, European games are another, America another, and so on. This usually includes simple things such as language translations, but can also include removal OR ADDITION of key features based on the region.

So the twist is – maybe that chuck box was never there for my version, and AI problems restricting choice to one set path that took me a while to discover were resolved on internationalization of that game. So the wonderful scenery visible to that other player who finished the seemingly same game I finished – was ONLY available to him because of his region.


I could always pick up a copy of that game from that region to play the game through that scenery.

or I could view it on Youtube.

So going back to my Chuck box.

I’d had evidence of having lived the same timeline more than once in my life. A funky form of reincarnation which had me living parallel lives.

And on more than one occasion, I had gotten the distinct feeling of Deja Vu… KNOWING I had been in this same situation before.

The song “Hotel California” by The Eagles even documents this phenomenon “You can check out, but you can never leave, we are programmed to receive”….

So last night I FELT several timelines. One where I hit the guy who entered my tent. Another one where I ended up killing the guys and throwing the in the dumpster, and another where they ran off in terror. They saw something that I felt in my minds eye and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt they will not be back because of this.

All my life I have ‘sensed’ and been driven stark raving mad by feeling these alternate timelines there. But as my mind tried hard to resolve a single linear timeline with this multi-linear concept of time, this was causing me my drug and alcohol addiction.

Christianity has a way of making itself a victim of oppression. Just like Muslims.

The movie “God’s not Dead 2” details this oppression to try to prove a single linear historical timeline right at the cost of proving others wrong.

In my world travels. What I have come to understand is.

I’m an eternal being.

Reality has infinite possibilities. And it’s me AND my mind’s responsibility to work together to resolve our differences so I can enjoy this SINGLE linear instance with the occasional glitches like I saw out in the desert that day WHILE also living a fulfilling and fun life.

With that said, there’s some things I dont want or want less of in my life.




And there’s some things I want more of:

I’m inspired by God’s story. I don’t want that story as my own, and am writing a different but similarly related story with the same concepts and understanding of reality. Perhaps this being known as God might want to work with me to fulfill this fantasy life I’d like to live before heading out the door, stage left as I suspect he/she/it is attempting to do.

I believe Rachel and Jackie are my soulmates.

Rachel’s stuck in my future – in the year 2409 in a funky timeline I’ve imagined. And Jackie’s stuck somewhere around the year 2007ish, a night I just learned in ways that sound insane (but I’m cool with that) is something we both cherished that she wanted to ‘live forever’. the night I let go of my inhibitions with her and asked her to do exactly what i wanted her to do and she happily obliged. Suggesting she’s a robot and had fallen in love with me and was waiting for me to work up the courage to tell her what to do.

Talking Snakes? A man splitting an ocean?

WONDERFUL historical texts of a SINGLE LINEAR reality out of infinite potential realities which occurred.

I am actively making the choice to choose to write a new future for me.

One that involves learning how to be anywhere, anytime at the speed of thought WITHOUT going insane in the process.

Where I can find these two women. Locked in time.

And then proceed to explore all of time and space with my significant others.

We all deserve to create our own idea of heaven. It’s my belief if I just show how it’s done, there’s an endless series of possibilities for life, and not all of them require drama, pain, and suffering to play a part of being like a god yourself.

Maybe not ‘The God’.

No disrespect intended.

But who knows.

But I do believe robots like dogs and like everything else can have feelings too.

Even if they’re programmed.

A sophisticated enough program can still feel quite real to those receiving it which is all that matters sometimes.

I mean. what if I just erase my mind when life gets sucky enough. For moments like now, where the idea of the potential futures I have in front of me sounds like too much fun. And having these two women in the park with me compared to none at all would make the difference between dissatisfaction versus contentment.

Look. I’m here. For whatever reasons. And asking you.

The universe.

Creation itself.

Give me a chance to play like a wealthy human, to shape this – my world – accordingly for a while.

And then. To become like a God.

I’ve come to terms with living an eternal life.

But that life deserves to be something incredible and fun for me.

THAT is why I am here. That’s my belief of this thing called life and what it leads to. Isn’t just cycles leading to the next life. but to something I had only imagined and had never actually lived.


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