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Past Lives

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I get memories of past lives coming back to me all the time.

Last night, I had a dream which played out more like a memory.

From the period of 2003 until 2011, I lived at the very least two separate and distinct lives on what is relatively speaking the same timeline.

When these memories started hitting me in 2011, it felt like chaos in my mind…

As I grasped for the truth, trying to understand which version of my memories were accurate, I started taking on the moniker “Q” which helped disassociate myself just enough from the memories to put things in perspective.

This helped (narrowly) avert insanity, but in the process helped me embrace a much larger and weirder world where I had spent a whole life embracing tales of fantasy and science fiction which had me realize I had been training for this moment throughout my entire life.

Case in point:

Last night, I had a dream where Mike Moore, a friend I had lost touch with in this life and timeline in 1996, he and I were roommates in a dimmer, darker world in 2006.

We had an argument. Mike had a tendency to have a really bizarre temper, but for me, I had had enough.

As the dream went on, I actively began to realize this wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.

Much like when a head trauma victim gets hit over the head and starts to regain their memories back.

This is what was happening.

I woke up in my tent.

And the memory continued without the dream.

Mike and I had been arguing about something to do with work. We were working on something together, I am not really sure what it was, all I remember was in the backroom of this three bedroom house we were renting in Chandler, Arizona was where we were doing most of our work.

We were working on something big. Huge. World changing. We both knew it.

But a woman had come along – Amy – and interrupted my effort towards the project.

He had had enough, i told him to get lost anyways, and when he moved out, Amy moved in.

Now on my primary timeline, it didn’t happen this way at all. I had been working at a company called Computer Wholesalers when I’d met Amy,.

Again. A split timeline for why I was working there. In one version of reality I’d been contracting there on behalf of the NSA investigating this Russian native owned firm and trying to find out how they were bypassing US restrictions on exporting computers to Iran.

In another timeline I’d been the one responsible for helping them bypass restrictions by helping them work with a Mexican based company which could forward the equipment to Iran.

I don’t think either of these timelines are accurate with ‘Mike’s’ timeline. I think we were devoted to this project.

So that makes three timelines in that same period of time.

But going back to ‘what really happened’ in my primary timeline….

It went like this: Amy and I had met on eharmony.com. while I was living with roommates in South Tempe – off of McClintock and the US 60 ( 3924 S Elm St,Tempe, AZ 85282). A tri-level house, where I had a lower level room which I had surreptitiously hidden a camera that filmed Amy giving me a blowjob and us having sex.

But with four guys living in the same house, a house owned by one of the guys living there – Mike Farley – the owner – it was a bit funny when she walked out in the morning sometimes, as most of the other guys “Weren’t getting any”…

“The walk of shame”, right?

Amy didn’t like the attention. So I moved into her small apartment not long after this, a place I barely lived in but 5 months… But space was limited in this tiny one bedroom place with two Boston Terrier dogs, we wound up looking for and renting a place in South Chandler – 2165 N Arbor Lane to be exact.

One and the same place Mike and I had been living in – in this dream which turned into a waking memory.

Life can be exceedingly weird at times.

And I do find it interesting the ‘different pasts’ my life has taken in the past.

But the problem with memories like this is that these flashback style memories don’t demonstrate a tangent point.

That is, what pivotal incident(s) caused my life to take that tangential path which led to a darker world and that argument with Mike Moore which eventually led right back to being with Amy? What had we been working on?

For instance, I know the tangential path my life took that has one timeline in my memory where I was working for the NSA, and another where I was not.

Since those two ‘primary’ timelines are often indistinguishable, albeit there is bit more dominance with the non NSA timeline, but since I have memories of the technology I used it’s difficult to say if the dominant one is the real one or it’s the one I’m being led to believe is real as the NSA is acting like a vicious and malicious organization in this timeline and attempting to absolve itself of it’s obligation to pay me.

But what’s the tangent point?

The primary one for the NSA is when I left the MEPS station and the NSA approached me. On one timeline THEY approached me, on another they did not. Interestingly enough, of no choice of my own did my timeline split in two. I actually have VERY distinct memories of visiting the second level of the MEPS station in downtown Phoenix where the NSA made me an offer I could not refuse.

Sometimes it’s easier to believe that life is not a perfectly balanced synchronized dance. Some people are going to want something different others even with the same perceptual view of the world.  Some people may enjoy the darkness and the living nightmares. Some people may wish to command these and leverage them as entertainment. Some people may enjoy being entertained by them.

And some, like myself, might prefer these events are left in the past, even though a part of me is a little bit of all of the above.

I have three sets of memories for my history .

Moving forward, I don’t mind my memories of ‘dark pasts’ being mere memories.

But moving forward, I want to create my own memories by actually living out the fun events I’ve only imagined doing.

Sexual and otherwise.

It’s funny. I had never considered the concept of reincarnation and past lives would mean alternative choices and complete lives lived in other universes. I’d always thought it would mean consecutive in a single linear timeline. Not whole other universes.

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