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Damn Aliens!

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When I was traveling excessively, I had began to notice glitch after glitch after glitch and weird things occurring in “The Holographic Universe”

You know, the Internet…

Here’s a quick little list of oddities I found interesting that I never resolved that I am suspecting aliens have a hand in:

  1. Weird Reuse of People’s Images Between Cities

    I had been active on match.com, a dating service, so when I moved my profile home base from Phoenix to Charlotte to Hong Kong to London, I had noticed the same females were used in numerous locations.

    What confused me at first was – often times they were different photos of the female in completely different settings.

    But rarely was the location identifiable with any set location.

    Put specifically: I could not, for the life of me, identify (or not) a place with a given location.

    I’d noticed this with MOST photos on dating sites. I was the only one it had seemed who’d actually had locationally obvious photos.

    Theories:

    a) Match.com leverages some kind of service which generates people and places to populate their web site and make it appear like there’s more going on than there really is.
    b) Match.com is using people’s photos and placing them elsewhere.
    c) I also suspect there might be versions of someone in different cities For instance, I suspect there’s a version of Rachel and Jackie, my mom and dad, and more in other cities.
    d) Perverted Aliens. Trying to find anal probe targets.

    I’m wagering on all the above. I’ve seen evidence of each as I have traveled, having met real dopplegangers of people who share not just look and style, but mannerisms and more.

  2. Weirdly personal Login Retrieval Questions

    I have noticed that web sites asking for login retrieval questions – that is – those obscure questions such as ‘what was your high school mascot’ – that supposedly only you would know – the questions were different for every web site.

    CONSISTENTLY different.

    Now explain to me. If each of these organizations is in business on their own and independently owned and operated, what are the odds they would consistently never ask the same question twice between sites?

    Theories:
    a) Fuck if I know.
    b) Aliens are trying to use identity theft to generate revenue by creating real identities from stolen information

    I think it’s aliens. Probably Vulcans. They always did appear too self righteously benign for my taste.

  3. Weird Captchas

    You know, the things that ask you to identify a weird piece of text that often times looks like it’s taken from a picture or image.

    Why did it appear like so many of them were snapshots of numbers on houses taken by Google street view cars?

    I’m suspecting there’s more to these images than simply proving you’re who you are. In fact, I don’t feel like they’re trying to prove anything. In fact. I think they already know it’s you, they’re just trying to understand our world.

    Who is this and why are they doing these weird things that seem to have a reason for it?

    a) Fuck if I know.
    b) Vulcans living in the holographic universe not fully understanding an analog from ‘within’.

    I think it’s aliens. Probably Vulcans. They always did appear to not understand time travel and independent measures of time. I won’t explain this, they might figure out what I’m talking about and send an anal probe.

  4. Weird repetitive sayings on Youtube and the like

    How many times have I seen. YOUR MIND IS BLOWN. And THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. AND SOMETHING ELSE TO PISS YOU OFF ANd THINGS YOU SHOULD BUY TOMORROW. AND SECRETS YOU DIDN’T KNOW.

    As if the world’s some grand paranoid conspiracy or something.

    And as if every one of these comes from the same ‘collective’ mind trying to become the authority on something but coming off sounding like the same thing, and more than that, like they think blowing your mind or driving you insane is a part of what you need?

    Theories:

    a) Fuck if I know.
    b) Vulcans. And Ferrengi. You know how those greedy bastards can be, they’re probably in collusion with eachother.

  5. Weird treatment of nudity and sexuality like a pre-pubescent teenager

    The weirdest thing I’ve seen repetitively on the internet has been the treatment of sexuality that has the individual authors of the articles coming across sounding like the same person writing the same shit over and over again, and like they are all 14 years old.

    I won’t get into the terms being used and why. Look for yourself. It’s bizarre.

    Theories:

    a) Aliens trying to take over planet Earth and assuming the only means of communication for this planet is through the internet.

Damn aliens.

 


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