I have been married three times.
Without fail, since the age of 21 – I have spent the vast majority of my adult life with a woman.
Sometimes even two and three at the same time.
And I have never had a problem getting with the woman I wanted.
Do not mistake this as bragging.
It was a lifestyle I chose and enjoyed from the age of 17 until about 41 years old, when I began to realize I needed a break from everything.
I’m no supermodel, nor am I wealthy, in fact I could afford to lose a few pounds but am happy at my weight.
I was, however, at one time exceedingly good at getting the women I wanted despite not being perfect.
So good, I was invited to appear on “The Pick Up Artist” by a man named J-Dog who was a host on the show, who had watched me in action at Devil’s Martini one night, as I had two women I had just met sitting on a chair with me moments after who were clearly interested in going home with me.
I declined his proposition, but I didn’t go as far as telling him what I thought and why I declined…
Which was that Mystery’s a douche bag who doesn’t know women any more than he knows the back of his hairy palm.
Mystery, incidentally, is the moniker the host of the show had given himself.
The television show “The Pickup Artist” – was about a group of men who had dubbed themselves experts in the art of seduction and getting women in bed, who instructed other men how to do the same. I enjoyed the show for some of the unique ideas it presented, but more often than not these guys on the show demonstrated things that simply didn’t work in the real world, which left me – the viewer – feeling like the show was contrived and like these guys were doing what they were doing to make a quick buck or boost their credibility with women or a little bit of both.
While I am single now, and have been for four years (I am now level 45) and I am finally taking the time to discover who I am as a man without any real responsibilities or obligations of women, work, or anything else as a single homeless man for the first time in my life.
Yes, there’s absolutely a method I developed which worked.
Some basic rules which I used to get what I wanted.
The rules I had developed began in my career – computer consulting – but I found the same rules crossed over to women as well.
Before I get to the list of basic rules, let me issue this caveat to anyone considering taking this approach.
If you use these methods, I promise you you will get laid. A LOT. You’ll land the women of your dreams and find yourself in scenarios and situations where you feel like you need to be pinched. But be warned, I have yet to have a truly long lasting relationship and I have no doubt that my methods may have been a cause of this.
So if you’re looking for a long term relationship, my advice is to consider these words are coming from a man who worked 30 years in IT and is now homeless, living in a tent in Hollywood, California, and taking a break from life, in general, and is now single and penniless.
Consider yourself warned.
Before I get to the critical keys to your success – there is one important thing for every prospective Casanova out there:
A ‘NO’ ALWAYS means ‘YES’.
I truly do believe and mean that. And apply that same philosophy to every facet of my life.
But to ensure this, you have to be tactical with how you approach and deal with women.
With this, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of the Three P’s of picking up ANY WOMAN. Whether she’s a supermodel, she’s a married housewife with kids you just met on the corner, whether she’s the CEO of your company, or she’s the girl in the apartment next door.
These three P’s are the basics to you obtaining any woman you dream of.
Commit these to your memory and interweave them within your DNA, as it is absolutely, positively critical that you not just understand the importance of these – but you passively – and by passively I mean make it a part of everything you do – by installing yourself in the head of the woman you’re interested in as a partner. Use these, and you will become unforgettable to them.
Here’s an explanation of each
Have you ever heard that the friend zone is the danger zone and not the place you want to be as a male?
That’s BULLSHIT, and here’s why:
Some women are going to say no at first. Even when you’re ‘on your game’, looking the best you’ve ever looked, just got a massive pay raise or bonus, or you just learned you’re a lottery winner – the fact is – some women will simply not be interest in you at first and will say no.
That’s called rejection, and if you are actually trying to land the woman of your dreams, you’re absolutely going to be rejected.
This isn’t easy to deal with at first, and this rejection will throw you off. You’ll feel like you’ve lost control, you may even try making excuses about their problems to make it easier to walk away when things don’t work for you as you’re expecting them to at first.
FIGHT THIS URGE to reject yourself.
And be patient.
Learn about the woman. Get to know her. Be a friend. Watch her with other lovers if you have to. Listen to her talk, learn to have discussions yourself. Yes, this may take several years to get the woman of your dreams, which is why patience is #1 on the list.
It really is THAT IMPORTANT!
Subconsciously, what you’re doing is ‘installing’ yourself in her subconscious through your patience. She learns to become dependent on you, and despite her turmoil and drama, you become the rock she can rely on. Women instinctually CRAVE security and stability, they are hardwired to pursue it, and that’s precisely what you’re doing by being patient and weathering the initial rejection yet still sticking with her.
Not only this, but patience works to your benefit as a blossoming Casanova as it gives you – a guy – the opportunity to see how she interacts with the world and other guys as there WILL absolutely come a time where you say.
“Q, this supermodel hot woman is a psycho drama queen, thank you for the patience advice, otherwise I may have lost my mind!”.
With patience comes the crucial counterpart, persistence.
The critical ingredient which when applied, over time, will shift you ever so subtly from the friend zone to the sought after lover zone.
The definition of persistence is the continuance of an effect after its cause is removed.
I don’t know who quoted it, first, but there’s a saying about men, in general, that says “As a man I will not apologize for my needs”
There’s absolutely some truth to that statement.
But there’s NO NEED to be like a caveman when applying persistence to the equation of getting what you want.
As I stated above, Women want – Need – CRAVE stability and security in their partner. Someone they can depend on. Someone predictable. But IF you take this too far, which is what you’re doing by trying to overanalyze her needs and shifting your personality to become that, you lose yourself and the very thing you’re teaching her to be interested in to begin with: Your uniqueness.
But your uniqueness INCLUDES your sexuality. Your desire for intimacy. To pretend you don’t have it is sheer stupidity, and even worse, when there’s someone you’re interested in that you’re being patient with who’s vocalized their lack of interest in you on numerous occasions, it’s PERFECTLY OK for a woman to ‘chalk up your sexually forward nature’ to your personality.
So here’s my advice to overcome the fear of rejection: Think of your persistently forward sexual advances as the equivalent of a ‘ping’. When they respond without interest or a rebuff, then continue being patient.
Because one day. And I promise you there will be one day. They will be expecting it. Quite likely when you least expect it.
And invite you to do something about it.
Don’t get me wrong – Being persistent with who you are and what you want may cause tension at times.
Learn to temper your offers with the patience. If you push it too far, you’ll blow the whole thing and lose a friend. If you don’t go far enough, you’ll keep yourself firmly in the friend territory. You have to be ok with pushing buttons every once in a while.
In the end, your persistence increases your stability, security and VALUE and thus your confidence as well.
There is a fine line between stalking and getting close to someone you are interested in, and I will not lie to you – if you are actually putting some effort into getting to be better with women – you will absolutely feel like you are crossing that line until you find your groove.
But what does proximity mean?
Playing an active part in the woman you are interest in’s life.
Let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR about this: This may be an undesirable role she has you in at first.
Let’s face it. If you’re rich you might find yourself attracted to a do gooder who isn’t phased by money. If you’re great looking, you may find yourself highly attracted to a blind woman who won’t have a thing to do with you.
This is how attraction works. It’s unpredictable at times. It’s annoying as HELL. But when you feel it. When you feel compelled to get close to someone, at times it feels like you would be more productive taking your bare head and hitting it against a brick wall.
So think about this logically. As a male in modern society, you’re expected to pursue.
The third ‘P’ of proximity gives you an opportunity to get to know the woman – AND her interests – often times alongside her – gives you the opportunity to discover – is she REALLY worth it? It puts you FIRMLY in the driver’s seat.
So let’s say she’s your neighbor and volunteers for a shelter on the weekends.
You enjoy animals.
So you ask her if they have room for another volunteer and they do.
You now share something else in common other than being next door neighbors.
Be observant. Maybe the woman you want to get closer to discusses how she met so and so at the local gym she works out at. Or maybe the woman you’re interested in flies planes on the weekend.
Proximity doesn’t just relate to being physically close, but can also apply to spiritually, actively, emotionally. You’re going to have to learn to listen better and to become a good investigator, which I guarantee you will have you discovering the lines of creepy and stalker in no time.
But keep in mind that life can be messy, and you have GOT to take these setbacks not as failures, but as learning exercises.
This doesn’t mean become a stalker. It just means learn to recognize the clues – or sometimes the ‘back off’ words being used when you’re becoming one and back off and take the time to learn how you pushed things too far.
Sometimes. You’ll find that you didn’t.
But regardless of where you did or didn’t.
Sometimes you’ll have to restrategize, back off for a bit, and then try different approaches to getting closer to her.
How does this work? Have you ever heard the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder?” It’s absolutely true! When you have someone who’s been patient with you, persistent, and chooses to engage in the same things you love through proximity…
When they aren’t around. You crave them.
Knowing and developing your proximity skills subtly teaches her to crave you.
… Now armed with the three p’s – my advice is to consider these the cornerstone – the foundation you pour to the building of your own character and personality – and delivering that to those you’re interested in.
When a woman rejects you. Think ‘patience’.
Let’s say you’re in a crowded bar and there’s a bunch of guys around who are looking at the woman you’re interested in like she’s fresh meat, can you really, truly afford to be patient at a time like this?
Sure. But if you’re like me. You may have pulled a seat up next to her at first and listened to other guys hit on her before making a friendly comment to her AND before even trying to bring the perfect pick up line to her.
Create imbalance. PUT yourself, intentionally, in that friendship zone from the start, that throws her off balance to begin with.
You’ll find this works like magic sometimes when you turn the tables on them and make yourself out to be the prey and them the predator.
I like to think about this all like fishing.
The ‘other’ pickup artist types may throw you a fish or two with their methods.
But they don’t teach you how to fish.
I’m not trying to teach you to pick up.
I’m trying to teach you how to have fun.
And play with this all at a woman’s pace to get what you want.
Which may not be precisely when you want it.
So with those Three P’s installed, next, we have a clear set of rules to get close to the woman/women you want to be with.
Women are HIGHLY predictable. There are patterns which are easy to spot of how they attract their mate, and these patterns can be used by the astute and keenly observing male to entice them to spread their legs, willingly – in much the same way a flower opens up to invite bees to pollinate it.
What an amazing metaphor that is, don’t you think?
The key now is to create attraction.
To short circuit their pre-programmed and highly predictable methods of attraction, and make it your own.
Remember how I said ‘It’s bullshit about the dangers of the friend zone’
This is why. ONCE you’ve established yourself in the friend zone, their guard is down, THEN as you work on the attraction, with their guard down, you’re busy rewiring their subconscious mind at such as basic primitive level they cannot HELP but fall for you.
Here’s how you bump up your value artificially and increase your attraction once you’ve installed those 3P’s:
This is where I thank Mystery, J-Dog, and “The Pickup Artist” for demonstrating the idea originally presented by Neil Strauss and the wonderful book he wrote called “The Game”. You can buy the book here on Amazon if you’re interested.
The concept is simple. Buy a pimp shirt, something that’s loud, colorful and that you use on special occasions ‘with the object of your desire’, and if you’re single, you wear shorts like this to stick out in the crowd AND make you feel like a million bucks.
My fraternity brother and roommate at the PIKE house at ASU – Steven Lishnoff – introduced me to the concept. He had this gawdawfully loud American Flag shirt that he loved and always put him ‘in the right mindset’ to pick up when we went out. Invariably, he would get compliment after compliment after compliment for his shirt, which made me begin to question the conservative clothes I was wearing.
Over the years, I tried different things. I’d made a fool of myself with things. Exposed body parts I shouldnt have with others.
But this is the absolute key to peacocking successfully.
Wearing a big stupid ass hat while you’re out like Mystery did in the tv show will only have you looking like a clown to the majority of those you might be trying to attract.
The key is finding what makes you feel outstanding and sets you apart AND makes you feel comfortable at the same time.
I myself found two designers I enjoy on different occasions.
First, Robert Graham’s unconservative long sleeve shirts (from Nordstrom’s here) stand out and are downright cool with the ‘fold over cuffs’ that have a different pattern when you wear your long sleeve rolled up a bit like I usually do. They’re stylish, they’re colorful, and I would receive at least a dozen compliments every time I wore one out to a club.
As a homeless guy I don’t have these shirts any longer 😦
Another designer I enjoy for feeling classy is Tommy Bahama shirts. The problem with Tommy Bahama is they’ve gone mainstream and a LOT of people – especially older people – wear them, but being completely honest – if you spend a lot of time in desert heat like I did before in Arizona, or outdoors in breezy places – these custom shirts are just fun and comfortable at the same time.
Don’t expect compliments though, they’re far too common now for that.
But keep this in mind: My shirts and designers SHOULDN’T work for you. Find your own, dammit!
The KEY to successful peacocking is finding a style you enjoy that screams to the world your personality. When you do it right, you’ll know, and if you’re dating or with someone you want to date – when you feel good about yourself, THEY FEEL this about you and can’t help but want to be around you. You become a magnet and this increases your attraction.
But overuse. Doing it all the time. Will backfire. So be selective. It’s like flowers in dating. If you give flowers all the time, then they’ll come to expect it. Sometimes, you gotta do things that are unexpected not just for them, but to yourself FOR THEM to appreciate you more.
Funny how clothes can do that to a person, right?
Peacocking is a reference to the bird that looks much like a turkey, but when it spreads it’s tail, it’s an amazing and awesome array of colors and patterns that make this otherwise boring bird turn into something beautiful.
- LOVE what they love
I hinted at this before when I suggested volunteering to get to know your neighbor before, but there’s a bit more to it than that.
I have a saying “Love what they will love, and they will love you”
A cornerstone of any and all interpersonal relationships is this thing called common interests. If you have them, then you’ll find the relationship easier to shift into. That’s the beauty, again, about the friend zone, with common interests the barriers and walls of that friend zone can be broken in a single passionate night and you’ll find yourself firmly in the boyfriend zone with a solid foundation and history behind you that led to that shift.
But sometimes, it’s not as easy to find common interests that may be there, particularly if you come from different socioeconomic backgrounds.
My advice here – ESPECIALLY if you are not entirely happy with you – is to be somewhat flexible with your interests and consider someone else’s interests an opportunity for you to expose yourself to things you otherwise would not have considered.
My third wife, Amy, I met through eharmony.com. Amy was attractive, on a scale of 1 to 10 I’d say she was a firm 7.5, but with Amy came a calmness and self control I had not met in a woman before which bumped her up a full point and a half because this woman appeared to have her shit together. Something I was finding rare yet highly attractive in the women I was meeting.
Amy loved her two Boston Terriers to the point of obsession. Me, I had had animals throughout my life, but prior to Amy would I have bough them beds, let then sleep in the same bed as me, taken them for walks twice a day, washed off their feet after walking outside, or taken them to groomers? Heck no.
By choosing to love and participate with Amy’s love and obsession with these animals – Amy single-handedly taught me respect for animals and helped me understand love from a very unique perspective I’d never considered before.
And while ultimately, the marriage failed, it wasn’t without substantial gains in empathy and respect for other’s obsessions even when I didn’t understand them that I would never have had without her and that experience.
To be clear though, there’s a debatable point you can take this ‘love what they love’ too far.
For instance, I started a cocaine habit knowing a woman I absolutely adored was a partier and used cocaine regularly as well. Jackie – to me – is one of the most attractive women I have ever met – and has a VERY strong personality, and combined with her free-spirited nature made her someone I wanted to get to know better – and of course have sex with.
From the day I first met her, it took me four years to have sex with her for the first time. During that time, I had gotten married and divorced, to Amy, and had been with three other women during that time.
Now in the end. This habit helped me look at the world in very different ways which I needed anyways. But the cost was high and it took years to get over the addiction. It is among the reasons I am homeless, as I do look at the world in such profoundly different ways I just refuse to go back to how things were ‘mentally’ before.
Put specifically, Jackie invited a mental adjustment into my life through a clearly destructive mechanism, and while I have no regrets about the change, I do question whether I pushed that addiction too far.
Choose what you ‘love in what they love’ carefully…
but most of all, while selectively choosing to love what they love….
- BE GENUINE!
This should be a no brainer, but it can get very confusing at times trying to figure out what’s genuine to you and what you’re trying out to get to understand the woman/women you may be interested in.
But before you engage in any activities as a result of the “Love what they love” concept, ask yourself the question:
Are you being true to you?
For me and the animals, I’d had a history with pets anyways. I liked the idea of identifying with passionate pet owners better. So making the decision to love what Amy loved with the dogs was a decision to identify with others like My Aunt and Uncle who were much the same way.
Similarly, while the decision to try a hard drug wasn’t the best of decisions, there was a logical and rational reasoning to that decision. I’d had friends who were into it, and my ex wife – Lisa – had had friends who were into the drug as well, and I just flat out didn’t like judging them and how this effected my relationships with them. Jackie presented an opportunity, an opportunity I jumped on.
Literally and figuratively I might add 😉
My point to this all is: When you’re true to yourself, your authenticity in your character, persona and presentation is palatable to others. This is what’s known as being genuine.
And with women, it’s an aphrodisiac.
Ask any of them this baffling question and see for yourself:
“Would you prefer dating a nice guy who doesn’t know what he wants, or a bit of a jerk who is genuine and knows what he wants?”
My bet is, you’ll find 9 out of 10 women will say they prefer the jerk.
- Hamburger Helper
Have you ever had Hamburger Helper? There’s dozens of flavors for it, and most taste pretty good.
But the weird – no – the bizarre thing about Hamburger Helper is – when you eat it, it leaves you full but oddly hungrier. No matter how much of it you eat, and trust me, I have eaten a lot of it, it ALWAYS leaves you hungrier.
Women are judgmental creatures. This is another annoying thing they have embedded in their DNA.
When you’re easy to figure out, the good and interesting ones that you’ll tend to want to be with bore or you can’t gain their interest and thus attraction. This tends to attract the ones you’re not as interested in want to stick around more.
Now there’s a lesson in Hamburger Helper that can be applied to any single male or female:
And that’s to maintain the mystery.
Sure, hamburger helper might list it’s ingredients on the side of the carton, but have you ever tried to figure out those ingredients, let alone why that particularly combination the company who put those ingredients together is so gratifyingly unfilling that it continues to make money for the company and has for at least 3 generations?
There’s something to be learned from Hamburger Helper.
Be something more than you disclose to them. Keep the woman guessing.
This means having a life outside women, and can mean anything from taking a job as an off duty Sheriff and disappearing on Friday and Saturday nights, or every Sunday you’re unavailable as you go skydiving with your friends and have for years and don’t want to complicate it by introducing women you’re dating to it.
This might mean playing video games with a group you team up with and simply don’t want to answer to the protests the woman’s going to have at you enjoying this activity.
Or it might mean you’re dating other women….
Which brings me right to…
- KEEP A ROTATION!
Whether you’re interested in becoming serious with a woman or not, while you’re dating, there’s no implicit rules with dating and assumptions that you should be making.
Sure, you might create a rule such as it’s only respectful to not sleep with one women when you’re sleeping with another, something I tried at one time, but I personally found myself enjoying life more by not making rules when single.
To me, being a boyfriend evolved over time from “You’re it for me” to mean “I’m emotionally committed to you, and will avoid playing around and try my best to be exclusive, and if I am not, that’s not something you need to generally know.”
As a married guy, i had two women cheat on me more times than I can count. So my rules for married women evolved from “They are strictly off limits even if I am single”, to “If I am single and she’s married and want to play around, I’ll respect her rationality and am here for fun”
My point to the rotation is – self preservation of that thing called a heart.
When I date – I learned through repeated heartbreak to enjoy the moments I spent with someone and accept them when they’re their with me. When they weren’t there and present, I learned to not regard that as a problem, and if I STILL found myself hurting for them, then learning from past mistakes that obsessing about them would usually backfire and wind up with a broken relationship and more pain, I learned to treat relationships loosely and invite other women in if the opportunity arose.
On one three day weekend in early 2009, shortly before graduating with my MBA, On Friday night Jackie came by. She danced completely nude for me for 4 hours and had sex at the end of that marathon dance as we partied out of control all night long. Saturday evening, Kena spent the night shortly after Jackie left. Kena wasn’t aware that Jackie and I were intimate like we were, to her she thought we were friends, and I didn’t correct the oversight. Kena and I had sex after I took a shower to get the smell of Jackie off me. Kena left early the next morning, and the following night Tiffany, a woman I’d gone on one date came over and spent the night. We had sex on the balcony of the first floor or my apartment as we caught the neighbors watching us an still continued.
After three divorces, I’d felt like my heart had been ripped apart and shredded and I felt dead for a while inside.
I had to evolve the way I dated, loved, so I could continue enjoying this creature known as the women.
The ‘rotation’ is a mechanism which does three things: It protects you from committing too fast to one woman who might be trying to pressure you to commit for reasons of her own, two, it keeps things light, and three – you find out real quick if your partner is a control freak.
Marriages used to last a lifetime. But in today’s day and age where there’s so much choice. The way we operate relationally has to change with the times. The rotation is a means of self control, as well as a means to keep the relationship light.
BELIEVE it or not. The lack of being available ALL the time because of the rotation and split interest this reinforces actually makes you MORE attractive to the females you may be interested in, as they’re going to be trying to figure out what you’re doing and where you’re at.
No, the goal isn’t to make the woman insecure.
The goal with the rotation is to protect yourself as a male and commit when you’re ready too.
Not because her biological clock is ticking like a time bomb.
- MAKE IT A GAME!
I’d heard about them before. Notches on the belt, or men (and women) who loved counting and discussing who they’d slept with. I had one woman who was proud of sleeping with Tiger Woods, and another – Rachel – who slept with a professional football player from Arizona’s football team before she was with me who I can’t remember his name.
What I have learned in this long life so far is – don’t be shy, and keep it fun.
And that it’s PERFECTLY ok to turn sex and conquests into a game. Even if you’re the only one playing.
Why, you ask, to what end?
Simple. Games motivate. One night, I went out with a woman I used to date to get phone numbers which turned into sex later. I won. Three out of 10 numbers turned into sex. As a man, that defies logic and no, she wasn’t the type to lie – as she was a very competitive woman, but the fact is – it showed me something about men and women and what you learn about ‘the other sex’ is fascinating particularly when you allow sex to turn into something other than a mechanism of control.
You can compete with friends. Maybe trying for the same woman (or man). You can compete with yourself and your own numbers, which I did A LOT. I even had sales friends who I competed with who forced me to step up my game by understanding them.
The fact of the matter is – YOU HAVE GOT TO MAINTAIN lightness in your nature and diminish the seriousness of relationships which I sincerely do – to this day feel – is the root of any healthy relationship. if you take them too seriously, you’ll wind up miserable. I know.
Play the game while you’re dating. Keep things light. Keep your commitment levels low and your own experience high.
And somewhere, in there, you might not only find you.
You will find the woman you adore who may just find you – the wild stallion who couldn’t be broken – the catch and something so exceedingly special that she will have absolutely no doubt when you finally do wind up together that she… tamed you.
If you don’t think this is appealing to most women. Ask them yourself. You’ll find they’ll unanimously enjoy men they have to tame more than ones who are already broken in.
Women will catch on to your ‘game mentality’ innately, even if you don’t tell them.
And you’ll find them pursuing you for reasons that defy even the most rational of logic.
The key to increasing attraction is to create mystery about who you are. Women dress to impress with complete predictability and constantly try to outdo eachother in competition with eachother. They’ll look the other way when you look, as if playing a mental game of ‘chalk another look up on my scorecard’, and they play the attraction game as if they own it because they do.
Think about it though. With the prevalence of porn, no matter how much (or little) women show themselves and their bodies off physically. generally speaking most look very similar to eachother when you take off their clothes. Sure, there’s variations in boob sizes, and vagina types and a plethora of tattoos and piercings trying to inspire the male imagination. But let’s be honest with eachother. They don’t have anything to hide anymore.
So they boost up their attractiveness through clothes.
Playing the same attraction game that nature herself plays.
But as a man. The work is all on the men and the control is firmly in the women’s hands as a result.
Armed with the 3P’s, this builds the foundation for you – as a man – to gain confidence and leverage mother nature AND women’s base assortment of tricks of attraction. This makes you more valuable not just to potential partners, but to yourself and your own ego.
But that’s not enough. As women do nothing more than act like flowers for you to dip your stinger in, you’ll find that quantity gets in the way of quality, and you’ll learn that a coy and demure attitude that 99% of the population of women now use isn’t really that interesting any longer.
This is why men objectify.
But we men still have needs, right?
Which is why I outlined a set of rules I like to use which – as a homeless man, I will be expanding in the very near future to include things that won’t require time or money to achieve success.
Women have their tactics to increase their attractiveness – through nails, clothes, and external appearance.
Us men have to have something different that sets us apart and makes us unique.
This is Hollywood, after all, isn’t it?
Wouldn’t it be interesting to see me on the news as Scarlett Johannson’s lover?
And she recalls “The first night we had sex was in his tent in North Hollywood.”
I think so.
Keep in mind.
You do NOT have to be anything spectacular to be good with members of the opposite sex and for them to line up to be with you.
You just have to be you.
And inspire their imagination.