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Just Saying No

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I get about 20 to 30 emails a week from various recruiters for positions related to IT a week .

I had distributed my resume for years.

I still have a resume on Careerbuilder titled “Holodeck programmer” with an objective detailing the real desires and ambitions I have for my next career specialty area. I’ll consider other interesting gigs – namely a career in flying or maybe ‘acting’ as the man known as Q in a new Star Trek film .

But until then. I keep on getting job requirement after job requirement after job requirement for – to be frank – excessively boring jobs.

I figure it’s high time to publicly detail not just what I don’t want. But a few other things as well.

First up to bat.

From Karthikeyan Pazhani <Karthik.P@stratitude.com>

First, In an industry presently being dominated by H1B’s from India, it’s refreshing to see yet another solicitation for mindless labor without any real concern for what I want by yet another person with an Indian sounding name.

That’s sarcasm, by the way.

Karthikeyan, or Karth as I am sure he calls himself to us westerners because he falsely assumes we’re too ignorant or stupid to want to learn how to pronounce or understand how to say his name, offers this mindless gem where node.js and backbone.js are mandatory.


Karth, sincerely, I have absolutely no desire for something like this and sincerely do not understand how rational logic and reason could have led you to believe this would have been appropriate for me.

You CLEARLY have no respect for my time and energy.

So while yes, I have the capabilities and capacity to actually take on a role like this, you clearly do not understand this western notion of diversity and how I am shifting out of development and into newer and more entertaining and personally rewarding career areas…

Show some respect, Karthik, and I’m replying in a public way because replying to you directly as an individual when you clearly do not seem to understand this thing called individuality is only resulting in more ridiculously consistent roles similar to this one.

What do I not want which makes this role insulting to receive?

TO CODE in TRADITIONAL WAYS. I thought I’d made that clear by asking for Holodeck Programmer.

Fuck, man. Karth. Learn, willya. pass it on.

2)  Number two comes direct from Careerbuilder, a man by the name of Anthony LaMora <anthony.lamora@careerbuilder.com>

Now here’s the thing, peeps.

When you’re doing searches for candidates and looking to cross references skills to requirements, you in a literal way stop the progression of the society you’re providing services to.

This ‘requirements’ is yet another pattern match of skills to that which I already have.

Now to be clear. I don’t mind doing the same work over and over again on occasion.

But offering the same work over and over again is bumping uglies with the currently well accepted definition of insanity.


But let’s be clear. Anthony, I dont have the basic qualifications. Linux. And while it might be assumed, correctly I might add, that I have toyed with Linux and Unix based installations such as Ubuntu and other derivatives, I think you’re missing a monstrous point here.

What do I not want which makes this role insulting to receive?

TO CODE in TRADITIONAL WAYS. I thought I’d made that clear by asking for Holodeck Programmer.

Jesus fucking Christ have ya all gone collectively fucking brain dead or what? Is that what me taking drugs did, was kill the brain cells linked to you? It’s no wonder I was having problems thinking if you were inside me and this is the way you think.

No, Anthony, I’m not interested in shit like this. I’d rather film porn. Hmm. But then again I’d not meet the age limits for that, would I?

Fucking moron.

At least your name is not Indian sounding.

Probably latin though. Where have all the Caucasians gone?

3) Guess what SURPRISE – another one from India emailing me: Sakhshi Kanda <skanda@consultnet.com>. It’s my bet half if not more of these Indians don’t even leave their country before trying to leverage their MODUS OPERANDI on the unsuspecting American Public.

Predictable. Boring and… well shit…

HEY. I know what you’re going to say – Why am I, the homeless guy complaining about what appears to be legitimate job offers and opportunities to get off the street?

Well, padawan, let me be clear to you. These aren’t legitimate offers. if I respond to any of them, I wont hear back. I dont know if these firms are simply just not legitimate and trying to build up credibility, or if there’s a black hole in DC sucking up my emails and disallowing me from trying to participate financially in this economy. No matter the case, the fact of the matter is – these emails are the equivalents of flies, irritations at best, and since I can’t swat them individually by replying to them – as I keep on getting the same emails over and over again, i figure a little public flaming might help these nimrods OR – at the very least – inspire those who have this automated system in place to resolve this annoying problem.

I mean. There WAS a day I’d receive emails from the firms themselves. Not necessarily Intel. But other companies such as the US government, Mirage, Microsoft, etc. But no longer.

Hmm. This is making me realize. MAYBE the jobs are there. But maybe these things ‘on the internet’ do not understand what’s being asked and as a result there’s transcription/translational errors between what was asked and what I’m being presented.

No matter.



Now I was just talking to Bennett, and I’m suspecting there’s more going on to all this than meets the eye.

When I went to Beijing, China with my MBA program, I’d tried crossing the street and nearly got run over having to jump out of the way before beginning to learn about Chinese culture.

For years. I’d believed the ‘lack of humanitarian’ respect that I’d read about concerning Eastern countries, but had never had the opportunity to experience the culture to understand why the individual meant so little to them.

Now let’s say you smoke a cigarette or – like I would have done – do a line of coke. Killing a few brain cells for a vice you enjoy isn’t a big deal. And me – being a human – never considered, not for a single moment – that those brain cells were sentient living creatures which actually had thought, emotion, and actual lives. That thought had never really entered my mind.

The funny thing is – years before – in 1996, Ron and I had a debate about cells and sentiency. Are the cells within my body sentient? I actually debated with Ron saying, yes indeed they could be, and that anything was possible.

Ron debated with me saying ‘no, cells are programmed to do precisely as their programmed to do and that’s all they do.’

We agreed to disagree. One of the numerous philosophical topics we didn’t see eye to eye on.

So going back to China – there’s a mountain – called Mt Huashan. It’s referred to by the locals as spirit mountain because of how dangerous it is, a massive mountain with slick granite cliffs where an accidental death occurs every week.

As a westerner, one would think the sheer number of deaths would result in some safety measures to prevent these deaths. More attention paid to the walkway, railings, alternate methods to reach the summit, etc.

But as a westerner, I didn’t understand the culture. And that this culture may not even understand the needs of the individual, or – more bizarre – could be much like taking a peek inside my own mind.

Now if I was to lose a brain cell thinking about jumping off a cliff, where I have a neuron which actually does the act I just imagined.

Is that a big deal to me?

Fuck no.

Do I try to prevent these thoughts to prevent the death of other brain cells or feel guilty about my thoughts turning into actions that others actually do?

When I thought about it like that initially, of course it did. It’s downright intimidating to think about having that much power over the world around you. But that’s something we all innately have already, whether you want to understand it or not.

But the simple fact of the matter is. I can’t peer inside my brain, but if I could, what i was witnessing was what it would look like.

So here’s the problem. We – as Americans – who cherish our individuality. Have outsourced our electronics to a nation who doesn’t understand the individual and individual experience. While it’s inexpensive, and a reduction in short term costs, the long term costs are an erosion of our culture by leveraging products which were created by a culturally very different mindset that – while it may respect individuality – it doesn’t agree with it and products are built accordingly.

The implications of this are minor at first – adjustments of vocabulary and inclusion of words such as QI becoming dictionary accepted words in Western society, a word that means ‘spirit’ or ‘life force’ or ‘thanks’ in Chinese has now been translated to English and brings with it all the cultural influences which created the word to begin with.

And meanwhile. Words such as aerobat (a trainer plane used for acrobatic flying), meme, and ping are not included in that dictionary.

It’s my belief that what i am seeing with these emails are translated documents.

Things are being asked for that are simply not understood by the mechanisms storing and forwarding them. So close approximations of the words are being used, but because of cultural differences, what’s being asked for and what’s received are two entirely different things.

It’s like this: You have 10 children in a room, and one speaks no english. You as a teacher whisper an English sentence in the ear of one student. What is the likelihood the last student will say something remotely resembling what you as a teacher said?

These job offers are the equivalent of that.

I often wonder.

Did I ever leave China? Is this simulation as ‘best effort’ they’ve made based on what they know of my culture?

They can do so much better in my opinion.

We. I should say.

No, learning that wouldn’t break my heart. It would give me an opportunity to turn it into something fantastic.

In any case. Sak. NO I dont want to program.


4) Eteaminc – Bhavna Tomkyal <btomkyal@eteaminc.com>

Personally, I think Bhavna’s playing darts drunk and with a blindfold on and someone spun her around. As there’s a couple things that match my qualifications, but she’s a hot mess when it comes to presentation and what it is she’s looking for.

Which makes me think.

Is this what a hot woman feels like in a bar of drunken men? Approached by everyone, wanting not a damn thing anyone’s offering?

I can’t help but think there’s a reason that came to mind.

In anycase. Here’s Bhavna looking for an administrator of a system I’ve never heard of before and have no interest in getting to learn more about.


Is it too much to think about what it is I ask for and need?

or is that beyond your comprehension?

I dont know.

5) Ankur Upadhyay <ankur@eteaminc.com>

At least this guy’s making some effort to provide me something interesting with new skills and responsibilities. A director level position. R & D.

But the real reason I ain’t applying for this one is its like reading a technical manual for the government on optimizing the supply chain management chain of boots. It’s that fucking boring.

Can you imagine taking a job like that and the people you’d work for who crafted this magnificent work of technical excellence without going insane trying to appease them?

I couldn’t either.


I guess what I’m trying to say with all this is this:

I don’t want to be homeless. And while I don’t mind sleeping in a tent which I’ll do more often after I get back into the working world to rekindle my sanity after this, these repeated positions I am offered are beyond dull. They are insulting.

Having tried – and failed to contact anyone in the past four years concerning jobs like this that I really didn’t want anyways, I have come to accept the lack of contact and rejection has happened for a reason. IF YOU – as a society – want to see me – a man with two degrees who owes 140k in debt – a man – who has arguably contributed substantially to this – YOUR world  already and is prepared to continue this – a man that sure – while he had his vices – IS a good guy and you know it. IF YOU as a collective society see fit to force me to live on the streets and on welfare.

That’s your choice. I can benefit your economy by contributing my expertise and education to something more intellectually stimulating to me.

Or I can be that black hole wooshing noise you’ll continue hearing until you remove your heads from your collective asses and offer me something I won’t refuse.

You see. Your punishment of me for my breaking your rules ultimately winds up punishing yourself.

Me. Now. The longer I stay on the streets. The more I just don’t give a rats ass about anything.

IF I unsubscribe. It’s like playing whack a mole. I wind up getting more emails than before because I just validated my email address.

Now what I’d like to see are more thoughtful offers that take me, my world, and my community – in directions, technologically, which are more entertaining and fun. But unfortunately, every single one of these looks like it’s maintaining what is without developing what will be.

I want more out of my world.

Deserve more.

So to everyone named on this email.

May the dander of a hundred cats litter your house.

I’m allergic to cats. So to me that would be really annoying. Hopefully that translates.

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