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The Stories in My Head

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When I was a kid, my mom would take me to a store I loathed.


It screamed cheap.

With the way I think and how quickly I responded with smart ass remarks to my classmates, I had had a hard enough time fitting in at school.

Cheap clothes merely exacerbated the problem with ‘fitting in’, so every trip to K-Mart was an exercise in obstinate refusal to degrade my physical image just because it’s all my family could afford.

I would respond with “I would rather have 1 really nice shirt than 4 cheap ones.”

So on the trips to K-Mart where my mom tried with futility to find something inexpensive that I would like, invariably I’d find something else to do.

Now K-Mart at the time had really cheap tile – white vinyl tile interspersed randomly with black tiles.

One game I played with my brother Jason while at K-Mart was ‘escape the fiery lava pits’, where every black square of tile we would was ‘safe’ and as we followed my mom throughout the store, we would be jumping from black tile to black tile.

If either of us touched a white tile, we’d feign death and burn on the spot.

I actually remember feeling butterflies in my stomach as I jumped from tile to tile.

As I have gotten older, the stories about the world are still there.


I’m finding evidence these stories are becoming true.

For instance, I have told myself the story that with 8 billion mouths screaming for the same thing – money.

That simple logic suggests if I continue being one of these mouths, I will never actually see my dreams come true, no matter how hard I work.

However. If I short circuit my demands – and focus strictly on what I want rather than the means to get them…

Then the universe will provide for me, and perhaps make me a priority since I am not asking for the same thing everyone else is.

Among the reason I’m homeless is a simple lack of viable options to create an income. If I apply for any job I see on the internet, I won’t hear back, and a great majority of communications I send out I never hear a response from.

The story I have told myself is the internet is a ‘false front’, much like a movie set, and as I have continued living past predicted dates, the veneer of the reality presented to me on the internet is being washed away. I’m seeing through the false front of the supposed variety of the world, and learning very quickly that many of the organizations and systems set up around me are shallow entities, existing in image and name only.

So as I test my theory – that the universe will provide for me in different ways…

I have had no choice but to withdraw from the financial system.

This has forced me to think in different ways.

So I placed an ad about 4 months ago for an extraordinarily low price for a Kinect Device. $20. And just today, a wonderful man by the name of Enrique Martinez brought me one complete with a magnifier for the price I asked. He even dropped it off.

This after two weeks ago saying no to a man for the same device because it would have taken me half a day to get to Long Beach to pick it up.

I was testing a theory. If I say no to the opportunities which are presented, what I am requesting will invariably come to me on my terms given enough patience and persistence.

I’ve known this with women for a long time.

I always got the women I wanted. Jackie, I’m not done with you even though I did get what I initially wanted with you.

So two weeks ago I placed an ad for a high end gaming computer on Craigslist. Essentially asking for it for free.

I’m doing OpenGL graphics programming, and I’m homeless, and have a legitimate reason for asking for this for free.

Last week, a man named Timothy asked me for my story which I told him, and says he has a computer for me with all the specs I want.

Now while he hasn’t followed through yet. Whether it’s him. Or it’s another like him.

I have no doubt that what i want will be led to me through simple patience and persistence.

That and when there’s 8 billion other mouths screaming for the same thing the same way.

One man patiently requesting things a different way has GOT to be a refreshing change.

Imagination, in my opinion, acts in part as a catalyst to the events which happen to me in the real world.

And I’m done with imagining fiery pits of burning hell.

And much more interested in seeing a non dystopian future where magnificent architecture, spaceships, and exploration are the norm.

It starts with belief, in my opinion, that the future can be something better than predicted.

Now going to the Kinect Device.

There’s a story that’s been in my head ever since looking at the world through Bill Gates’s eyes in the desert.

And that’s that the Kinect device can project in 3d as well as receive in 3d.

Put specifically, it can create a full tactile feedback hologram.

Now it’s my belief that if I dig hard enough through the API, the device drivers, and tweak the device.

That like R2D2 for Luke, I’ll figure out how to get this thing to project.

It’s my belief that no matter whether it actually could to begin with.

That my belief alone will make it so.

Fun fun.


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