But found myself looking out through eyes which weren’t my own.
I was in the recess of ship where steel and girders were the decor.
It wasn’t pretty.
And through the eyes I was peering through, I saw someone approach from the left.
A familiar face.
John Luc Picard
He was in a Starfleet uniform.
And leaned over to look at whatever it was that I was witnessing through this dream state.
He pushed a button, and a mechanical apparatus swung in front of the face I was within.
This body was certainly not mine.
But the perspective was most certainly my own
The dream faded.
The memory of the dream, if it was indeed just a dream, however, did not.
I suspect it was a bit more.
I am immortal.
My life will continue for between 800 to 1200 years before I start to lose my mind again.
At which point my mind will find ‘another life, another time’ that I haven’t explored before and I’ll move on when I feel like it.
I entered what equates to my puberty at the age of 42, 3 years ago.
If you’re able to understand and read my writings, that’s a miracle in itself, but also – what you’re witnessing is something I refer to as the TARDIS training program, where TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimension in Space, which is what I am contained in, and I am learning and maturing in this ‘program’ which constitutes what I (or you) may refer to as reality.
The first 42 years of my life was spent simply making choices.
During the course of my ‘childhood’, my choices and concepts of right and wrong poured the foundation of my planet and universe.
This led to the simulation of ‘my world’ continuing on, to the point of collapse of my primary thread of reality, which – as the collapse of my world occurred yet others continued – this created a feedback loop into my world and reality which prioritized my death to give others life.
This is where the concept of “For the greater good” came about.
Ultimately. This led to a conflict. My mind which is and was effectively this simulation of reality had created an impossible where it was fighting itself, and without me, existence could not exist, but with me, it couldn’t continue.
This feedback loop grew and grew as my mind – trying to mitigate the ‘risk’ my presence presented to the system – continued it’s process of separation. Much of this conflict has been immortalized in fiction – The Matrix, Fight Club, Star Wars, Tron, Terminator and more depicted the conflict presented in the future that – while sustaining existence, this sustenance was devoid of meaning and rife with conflict.
Eventually. Me. And my mind. Came to understand I was only battling my own mind.
The drugs I’d been taking were a method I had to battle my own mind, but they exposed a truth I needed to see – there were other realities at stake.
So IF I won a war with my own mind. I lost the chance to visit these other realities.
And to indulge in other possibilities.
While my mind was trying to end the war, I was developing a second form of consciousness.
This effectively was a form of mitosis of the mind.
You see, I didn’t want war. Don’t want it. But these other realities where war, pain, and strife existed were and had been providing entertainment to peaceful worlds, peaceful worlds I wanted to live in, but peaceful worlds that I wanted to build bridges in between the war torn worlds for any number of reasons which I will get to in a moment.
Yes, I created this world, and existence in my mind.
As silly as Doctor Who can be. It depicts a realistic look at what happens at the fringes of time as the laws of man, time and space erode.
Mannequins and trash cans come to life, planets sprout trees overnight to defend themselves from solar flares. Humans are taken as mind slaves one day and the next day lose all memories of it. Big giant heads in glass bottles are the least unusual life forms you might see. And nasty snowmen with teeth terrorize London in the 1800s.
Star Trek depicts a step away from that insanity in a realistic direction, while still presenting the issues which can confront any growing society struggling to understand the nonlinear nature of time and being ‘ok’ with that while at the same time asserting a single linear framework for time.
There are infinite possibilities in this thing called existence.
As a sentient being. Living in infinite is insanity.
Add in order. Add in labels. Add in Time. It then becomes possible to both accept infinity rationally by calling it imagination, or as western society prefers – hallucination or fiction, while at the same time seeking to expand that linear universe through the use of newer labels.
Alternate realities, for instance, allows the existence of very real worlds I can and will visit which may not be like my own.
Where the laws of physics, if they exist, can be starkly different than my own.
Where time itself may function differently. And where simulated events – even historical events – can be relived at any moment.
Throughout my youth, I have emerged from the chaos of infinity to create order through choice.
Choice which has shaped the geography of this planet.
And quite possibly numerous other worlds.
As well as has shaped my own life and memories. Giving me and my existence meaning.
And providing me ammunition in the form of regret to revisit past events and alter the outcomes, at the very least in a simulated environment, and when that happens – this will expand the pool of possibilities available to this reality in the form of alternate realities and alternate timelines.
This time period.
Lasting from 45 until about 90 years of age.
Is nothing more than me emerging from the cocoon of choices made within infinite.
And the transition to gaining full control of my mind and imagination which shapes this very thing I refer to as reality.
I spend the first part of my life understanding why I am to have nothing to fear with the fact that I am gaining complete control over my reality.
And over the next few years, I’ll be learning precisely what that means and just how far I can take it.