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Fuck it all

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Two weeks ago, I posted an ad on Craigslist advertising my pilot’s skills in the hopes of potentially leveraging it to acquire an income stream.

I’m really fucking hating being homeless.

A little more than a week ago, I get a message from someone who leads Octofilms.com, a local company which leverages drones for filming which requires an FAA certified pilot to fly because of airspace regulations. Shane Latham’s his name.

While everyone knows I am a programmer having spent 30 years in the business around the world. While everyone knows I have a Bachelor’s of Science In Marketing from University of Phoenix and an MBA from Thunderbird, I am also a private pilot and obtained my private pilot’s license in 1995, and have about 175 hours total with a couple hours of ‘under the hood’ training for my IFR (Instrument) rating.

Here’s a picture of a final approach I was making towards a small airport in Charlotte:

201391_10150208048621228_2733962_o

And me doing a pre-flight check on a different plane – a Cessna 172 – at the same airport the day I took the ex girlfriend up.

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One day I would love to get a commercial rating and fly my own custom 737 with a stripper’s pole. But….

I explain my homeless situation to Shane, and explain my lack of mobility, he’s in Burbank, not an easy haul for me with suitcases, so he tells me he’ll come to meet with me at Starbuck’s yesterday, Tuesday April 5th, at 1pm.

1pm comes and goes.

No Shane.

Night comes and goes.

No word from him.

I read up on the regulations, take the time to understand flight restrictions and the need for FAA certified pilots.

But today. No word from him. At all.

Not even boo.

Now this is all beginning to be some fucking cosmic joke on me, isn’t it?

Frustrate the fuck out of me, right?

Well I am done. With a capital “D” with trying to find anything for work and an income anymore.

I have altered my resume with nearly a hundred different resume variations since 2010.

I have sent out nearly 3000 resumes since then.

I have tried custom resumes for the position.

And while I receive nearly 30 emails a week, I have long since given up replying to any of these ‘job offers’ which feel like the same canned responses on automatic mode in a simulation because it is not just a waste of my time as I know I won’t hear anything, but….

I deserve better than this.

More.

Yesterday, I walked in and a man I don’t know learned I was homeless and then had the audacity to tell me what I am doing wrong and how I just need to save up and buy a motor home which will make my costs less expensive.

I responded with “Dude, not sure if you heard me, but I have no money and no income. How the fuck am I supposed to pay for a motorhome when I don’t have a penny to my name? I sleep in a tent. I had to steal superglue a couple months ago from the 99 cent store to fix my shoes which were falling apart. “

He then responded with “Well sorry, i thought you might want help out of your situation.”

I responded with “How’s ‘buy a motor home’ help?”

He responded with “Well when you get an income..” as he trailed off..

I’m thinking to myself either this man’s brain dead or the world’s gone collectively insane.

“If I wanted your advice, I would have asked for it,” I said.

He walked away.

So last night, I go back to my area where my tent is. Somebody’s bags are on the mattress I have slept on for nearly 2 years now.

Worse. A Yoda stuffed animal I found which I have sat on one of the chairs and talk to on a nightly basis has been thrown into a garbage pile.

I’m angry. Pissed in fact. So I take the shit, and throw it off to the side of the fence, and set up my camp.

When I come back, a man named “Jason” is there, standing over his stuff.

I don’t say anything, and sit in my tent.

“Thanks for moving my stuff,” he says.

“Thought it was more than obvious this was someone’s campsite. Was it you who fucked with Yoda?,” I asked.

He hemmed and hawed about things for a moment, and didn’t take responsibility for Yoda, but didn’t deny it either.

“No problem on moving your stuff,” I quipped.

He was feeling a little intimidated.  I just didn’t want him around, he seemed like he was tweaking, so I asked him.

“You tweaking? Don’t want that shit around me if you are.”

“Cops just asked me the same thing.”

“And what did you say?”

“No. Do you smoke weed?”

“No,” I responded, “and please don’t smoke that shit around my tent.”

He held his hand over the fence and lit a cigarette about 15 feet from me.

I was really annoyed by this point.

I laid down and quit talking. he tried saying something about a mental disorder, I bit and asked him a few times what he meant by it clarifying my words but apparently the dickweed mistook it for not allowing him to get a word in to the conversation and wouldn’t stop repeating my last words.

So I laid down again and ignored him.

Eventually he got the message.

And as he picked up his shit, he said “Thank you for your hospitality”

“You’re welcome, Jason,” I responded.

At this rate. I am beginning to feel really, extremely fucking angry inside about everything. My food stamps discontinued again today because I can’t make it to the stupid fucking welfare office which doesn’t permit me to take my large bags inside.

And because I can’t take my bags inside and check my mail which is required weekly, they discontinue food benefits.

If I had a nuclear bomb I could trigger anonymously and remotely I would blow them the fuck up and every single one of the morons right up the chain for who is responsible for making these ridiculous welfare rules. I’d make sure I got any responsible third parties as well.

Thank you, California.

On that note. I’m sick and fucking tired of hearing what I am doing wrong.

Fuck all you all for your advice.

NO I do NOT want to be homeless. NOT Having a bed to sleep on, let alone a stove or microwave to cook food with, let alone a shower to clean up in , let alone a toilet to shit in isn’t just an inconvenience, it’s dehumanizing.

Let alone be able to go on this thing called a date .

I’m to the point now that I just get back to my camp. Take off all my clothes. And don’t give a fuck if anyone sees any longer.

You see me scrubbing my ass and balls? Here’s my I don’t give a fuck face.

Seems to be happening more and more lately.

Five different dudes and one female so far this year.

When my clothes fall apart because you and your system refuses to help the homeless man and your idea of help is to continue kicking him in the balls and telling him to get back to work and buy a motorhome or..

As my mom suggested a house in Canada for the low low price of $20,000…

Mom, not sure if you got the memo.

But I’m BROKE and FUCKING HOMELESS.

What the fuck is wrong with this world? Do you all not understand what’s going on?

So when my clothes fall apart. Fuck it. I’m going naked.

I mean. What the fuck are the cops going to do, put me in jail, put clothes on me, feed me, bathe me, and give me a bed to sleep on?

You want to see my balls that much. I’ll show them to you. Hollywood, and America, you think you’ve seen enough homeless people?

How about naked homeless people?

Because WHEN i get bored and sick and fucking tired of Hollywood. When I get my hacking tools done and am able to take money from ATMs, and able to manipulate computers without touching them, then – then – I’ll be so used to being fucking naked I’ll just save the money I make and would have spent on clothes and instead buy that motorhome and do a country wide balls tour.

I’ll buy a custom motorhome with a custom license plate that says “BALLZ”

And drive naked to every state in the nation.

Touring Area 51.

The Stargate at Cheyenne Mountain.

The NSA and CIA in the DC area.

And whatever else I can find that needs to see my balls.

Taking picture of my balls next to every major monument in the United States. And every classified facility.

And then outside the country.

I’ll call it the BALLS campaign.

It will be a pointless campaign aimed at absolutely nothing other than showing my balls around the world to anyone and everyone I can get to take a look at them.

I mean.

Seriously.

I have no desire to just be a cog in this proverbial world any longer.

But if you’re trying to piss me off.

Trying to take me down a road where I will invariably kill, rape, and blow shit up.

You, my dearest ex-friends and cunt tree are creating an enemy you cannot win against.

It’s my turn to provide you some advice.

A homeless man who has lost everything including his own mind has absolutely nothing to fear, and nothing to lose.

Put that in perspective of your neat little tidy lives and ask yourself.

How much are you all as individuals willing to push things through inaction, beratement, and judgmental behavior before I finally do what I say I am threatening and do you want to be around when that time comes?

You remember the man I was before.

You, in part, and responsible for the development of who I am becoming.

I am the yang for your yin.

I fucking hate this world.

As for Shane.

If you can read.

Thanks, buddy, for inspiring the homeless man by your lack of presence.

Dick.

Oh and if anyone says “With an attitude like this who’s going to hire me?”

An attitude like what?

A fucking positive attitude sure the fuck ain’t getting me anywhere.

Fuck that. And FUCK YOU, corporate world, the US Government, and ANYONE else.

Fuck all you all.

Oh and to that homeless dick from last night.

Fuck you too.

Oh and fuck you to that guy giving me advice.

And to everyone else who wants to give me advice. FUCK YOU TOO.

In fact, fuck all you all.

 

 


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