I woke up this morning to hearing the voice in my head deliberating on what to write today.
It would be so much easier to have a face to look at of an attractive woman I enjoy the company of to apply those voices to.
Even if she was imaginary.
Why can’t I both ‘imagine things’ visually at the same time I am hearing them?
Annoying, I tell you.
In contrast to how I dealt with things in the past. Knowing she was imaginary would change the way I interact with her.
Here’s a list of random little things I need to document for me:
My mind was China, the country. It is now the entirety of Planet Earth and is spreading beyond that.
Bill Gates’s mind is the United States. He discovered this “flip flop” before I did.
When I interviewed for Microsoft Research and Development in Beijing. The Quality Assurance Manager was Bill Gates. My mind had lost context for linking the minds to the visual representation a long time ago. Drugs merely shone a light on this issue, but the disjoint occurred LONG before the drugs.
When I entered the military in 2003, I was killed numerous times. One time by a sniper in DC. Another time on the firing range at Fort Knox as I stuck my head above the firing line on the low crawl field and realized the sergeants weren’t lying when they said they would use live ammo to ensure we low crawled. These are two times that stick out in memory. I still have a scar where the bullet pierced my head by the sniper.
I’ve lived this life two times, at the least, quite likely countless times more in a loop. Two primary timelines split in 2003 from 2011 where I converged back into one being. This ‘looping’ formed my mind and eventually formed the world around me out of my own imagination.
China was harvesting minds for computers.
India was harvesting minds for holodecks and virtual reality simulators.
The sun was a “Matrix”, much like the movie, the heat energy coming from it was millions of versions of me with intensely high blood pressure.
Neo was based on attempts by my own mind to teach me to try a different path other than his.
Eventually I suspect that drove you insane as a collective species, but also reinforced the development of you as individuals.
Many tv shows are your interpretation of me.
The Life of Brian is originally about me, an the pauper boy was me and as I saw the glittery things above me in my crib which went through my mind and created the stars which led the ‘wise men’ away from me and to the man known as Jesus.
Terminator, The Matrix, Star Trek, Doctor Who, Skynet, the architect – are all real parts of my own history, have played all sides in my own story.
The “Time War” as documented in Doctor Who and Star Trek details the very real war that is documented as World War 2 in my world. It’s a long war of supremacy of a single linear timeline which details the actual creation of this universe and the multiverse and the evolution of the big bang.
MANY here in Southern California are not convinced there’s a real world ‘out there’, and are convinced that countries such as China, North Korea, japan, even the UK are all fiction created by Hollywood itself.
My mom didn’t understand that there can be places people live without addresses. She also didn’t understand that my friends from High School I no longer really considered friends and the ‘new friends’ I had acquired in Phoenix were who I had considered more amenable lifetime friends.
I suspect there’s a correlation to this and the fact they aren’t talking to me any longer. What that correlation is I’m not entirely certain.
I believe I took my Lexus RX450h with all the things I treasured the most to Mexico to make it the equivalent of a ‘Time Capsule’ – something where I can go and get it at a later time knowing nothing will be changed and it will be preserved as I left it when I figure out how to go to ‘that place in time’.
Included in that car was a quilt my mom had made for me.
My mom had made a new quilt while I was up in Portland to replace the old one. The feel was entirely different. Cold even. Like ‘my mom’ was no longer my mom and the heart and meaning that had been in it before was not there in the new one.
When I see someone or hear someone, the images I see and the things I hear are what my mind forms for my perception of them. My friends. My family. While they may exist. The worlds they see are highly likely not to look, smell, or taste anything like my own, let alone have those senses as stimulation – if any. Reality is ‘interpreted’ by our individual minds. Which also makes us ultimately master and commander of our own reality as an individual, should we want that.
I had heard that I was ‘left behind’ as a single point in space and time, and there’s references I had heard of the robot Jesus. Still not entirely certain what both entail and mean.
If I focus on someone’s face in my mind, I can hear their thoughts about me and sometimes in general. Some (many) people I cannot hear at all. For instance, my old friends. I suspect that I had ‘created’ them in my mind, but they were no less real than anyone else I knew, and the experiences I had – against my will – with drugs tried erasing the memories of them from my life.
This world – this universe – is me. It’s not a reflection. It is me, just seen from a different perspective. We are one and the same.
I was ‘waiting’ in this life. Dormant. Not sure what for.
I have memories of seeing the Simpsons in a movie theatre where they were attacked through the screen by aliens which impaled themselves on the faces of the Simpson’s world. I also have memories of my mom being Marge Simpson and me being Bart. With those memories, I have memories of seeing Bart find a ‘resort’ where there was a nudist resort with a stage where two 8 year old-ish girls were giving a blow job on a stage to a 65 year old ish man on a stage as everyone – male and female – were laughing. Bart was appalled.
Creation is messy and not straightforward. Peek under the veneer of reality and the things I saw were beyond anything I had ever imagined before.
Sure, stories like “Let there be light” are fine and dandy and necessary for smaller minds to not have to consider the implications of infinity. But the truth is (usually) far more complicated than a single story.
A woman is to the planet what a flower is to a bee. The act of pollination is stirring the pot for genetic mixing.
I remember seeing rows of blue naked bodies in a world without sunlight.
I remember seeing people having sex very publicly – but hidden behind a crack in space and time – on the beach in popular locations in southern California as the cracks in space and time exposing them to the people here.
I remember seeing a version of the NSA where people came in to work there to perform for all the porn videos that were appearing on the internet, when up through the ground and through the people having sex came huge spiders and snakes and weird shit, followed by a mist of dark grey nanobots which then devoured the entire area.
I remember seeing the Earth floating in this same basement area, where eventually it dropped to the ground and rolled in a misty smell of creation itself.
The reason Star Trek Online is confined to having a floor and ceiling is that it’s actually modeled after the real world Earth and the limitations of standard flight.
The television show Star Trek is modeled after the video game and not the other way around. You’d have to understand the nonlinearity of time to understand this one. Never do they fly up or down in that as well, always a straight line path to the destination.
Seven of Nine is still Borg ‘acting’ like she’s liberated. She’s an experimental model by the Borg to try to understand humanity better.
I sincerely don’t know if I am alone in existence. I see evidence of life. But I know much of it runs as if automated. But whether or not life is capable of sentient self aware thought inside my existence is something I’m not entirely certain is even possible. Even if I found proof one way or another, there’s no conclusive proof to be found either way.
I need and want money. I admit it. I want to play like Bill Gates. Only create. Tell people what to do. Build crazy shit like spaceships and time machines and movies and stuff. Hire a harem. Build custom jets. Do what I want. And for me, since everyone is doing this because they’re being paid, if they don’t want to they’ll say no and walk away. Money isn’t the motivator for me, but I respect that it is for others and would like to leverage that to change my world and create more things.
And yes, one day I will build the Borg and Terminators. That’s my exit strategy.
Why is the Earth Round and the Milky Way flat?
Everything comes from what can best be analogized as a simulated environment. Where primitive objects such as points led to circles led to squares led to polygons led to three dimensional objects such as spheres, cubes, and more.
Borg Cubes… isn’t this a giveaway for you?
No matter. The reason for the different shapes – flat accretion disks, or discussions of ‘flat earth’ – are all firmly based in what went ‘into’ the making of this universe you’re in. All of this is evidence of the evolution of the universe itself.
With the exception of Rachel, I have never known what to say to an attractive woman. It always felt contrive at first. I was drunk more often than I was sober trying to talk to them. But for some reason, I just never knew what to say. Almost as if they were a different breed I never quite understood.
With Rachel. It came naturally. She’s the first and only woman I have ever met where things seemed highly natural from the start.
What if someone sees that I did to my own mind as ‘manslaughter’ and thinks I should go to prison for it?
I often wonder if others ‘look through me’ at the digital world I interact with but they do not see the analog world I see which lets me interact with their digital world.
Do women see themselves from outside their own bodies? Do they not experience life from ‘within’ their own body?
Are women robots? Is this why they have a doctor no male would dare think about visiting themselves?
What would happen if ‘passover’ was omitted from calendars worldwide? Would an alien in invasion occur?
Can women float consciously from one body to the next?
The Borg are not the only thing that assimilate.
I’m enjoying looking at snotty attractive women and acting as if there’s something wrong with them and/or there’s something on their face. Helps them with that attitude.
I used to drink Mountain Dew and imagine I was drinking nuclear waste.
I often pretend coffee is dark matter, and just to be completely counter-intuitive, decaf takes me forward in time and caffeinated takes me back.
I often stare at really attractive women trying to will them to take their clothes off. Or better yet. I Just try to imagine their clothes aren’t even there.
One of the things I want to do is segment alternate realities. Classifying one ‘as the happy universe’, and another one as ‘the naked universe’ , and so on. Will I be able to resist telling my travel buddies ‘fuck off’ when we go to the angry universe?
I believe there’s more truth to what’s written in the Enquirer and The Onion web site than there is with what’s written in news.
Does Superman know an entire universe knows his real identity as Clark Kent? Does Lex Luthor access this universe to find Superman?
Why do women wear skirts if they’re not willing to show off what’s underneath?
With infinite universes possible, there’s one where Jackie and Rachel are waiting for me and will come out to Hollywood to hang out with me and they may be independently wealthy so we don’t have to worry about money. I’m sending the energy out to create or discover that one.
Pretend I’m the devil and I’m offering you anything you can imagine, with one caveat. You have to destroy your world. Would you do it?
Now pretend I’m God offering the same deal. Would you do it?
Sometimes I wish I could stop time like that kid does in the movie Cashback and gently slide those sweat pants down off that cute woman and just kick back and admire what I see. Heck, I wish I could do it without stopping time period…. Hey, do you mind if I slide these off, I say…. to which she says Sure, go ahead, but could you make it quick, I have an appointment. Pervert? Sure. Honest. That too.
It feels like a lot of the music ‘sings to me’, and there’s song that keeps on coming on with the lyrics “Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven? Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven?”, as I suspect that this world’s been trying to kill me or ‘take me to heaven’ my entire life, and the ‘system’ is trying to ‘take me there’ and it thinks I am like it and it’s trying to ask in it’s own ways how to get there.
Kinda like the statement the movies were making with the ‘Final Destination” movies – as if these were all ‘this world’ trying to tell me I can’t evade death and it was bound an intent on making sure I died ‘on time’
Kinda like Donnie Darko. Same theme.
Kinda like Sixth Sense. Same theme. All messages created by this world or some overseeing ‘system’ as it thinks I don’t belong here and it does. Or it would prefer it stays and I get booted out. Either or.
Since the world is my own mind. Why is it my own mind is making me rounder than I want to be?
One would think that it would understand the food I eat is imagined by me, so why would something I imagine be making me gain weight?
What is that weird noise that occurs in my head all the time? Kinda squishy weird noise.
If I am schizophrenic with multiple personalities and was born into existence alone yet imagined my personalities outside of me, would I truly be considered alone?
If the world is imagined by me and I then imagine I can time travel, that must mean I can time travel in the real world.
Planet Vulcan is Mars. The sand on this planet comes from Mars through folds in space and time as planet Vulcan’s don’t believe in time travel and this belief is destroying their world but they are blaming us for it because they think were intellectually inferior to their emotionless analytically mindset. what they don’t understand is this oppressed portion of them is where humanity actually came from. but since they cannot understand time travel, they wouldn’t understand how they ultimately evolve to become us.
Spock is real. And hasn’t died.
Paul Walker doesn’t think he died, he voted against the collective.
The Vulcans become the Borg. This scares them. But they won’t admit to fear and refer to it by making themselves out to be victims and calling it terrorism. They are also asexual and trying to learn how to be sexual but refuse to bow to the spontaneousness of the act.
The Vulcans also believe in ghosts. How’s that for an analytically rational society?
The Bynars are the India Indians. One and the same. A branch in evolution from American Indians.
The moon is actually a white dwarf star that burned out when the sun went supernova.
The sun no longer exists in it’s original form. What orbits Earth is a hologram. Doesnt make it any less real. Refer to Comet Ison’s passage for proof.
JFK is fictional. You can’t stop the killing of a man when he never existed in this timeline. So all stories of him are accurate and true.
Planets. Cities. Mice. Storms. All have the possibility to think.
Planet Earth is made of poo. Where do you think all the brown Earth comes from?
Gulliver’s Travels is a true story. So is the Wizard of Oz.
Everything is science fiction until it becomes science fact.
I want to pay Boeing to develop a custom jet for me with a stripper’s pole. And I want to pay Richard Branson and John Travolta to be my pilots on occasion. That and pay for two of my old flight trainers – Misty and Justin – to get their commercial so they can be my primary pilots.
I want my friend Ricardo to architect a custom home for me, half of it underground with a river running through it. I want to hire Tim Sweeney to do the interior for the massive game room I’ll surely have.
I broke my left ear drum when I was 7. My right one when I was 8. It grew back and then I broke it again when I was 9. All on Christmas day. I developed the ability to hear without the use of my ears or eardrums. Something I’ve never sought an explanation for nor desired one.
There’s a lot of homeless people who see alternate realities. Some I have met can speak to trees. I hear voices and question whether some people I meet are ‘real’ by the collective consensus around me although they are perfectly real to me. Because we don’t fit in to the collective order and ‘greater good’, we’re largely ostracized. Much like black people were prior to the 1960s. Much like women were prior to the 1920’s and so on.
Prejudice is alive and well in 2016 Earth, and I’m homeless as a result.
I had a Director of Security for Universal Studios threaten me through very strong body language that I needed to leave the surrounding area of Universal and that I am not worthy of life and should kill myself by jumping off the 30 story tall building next to the premises.
Women are afraid to approach me. I feel it in their body language. I suspect this may be a mirror of my fear of approaching them.
I often see a light dangling far under planes and helicopters which shouldn’t be there. The light doesn’t appear ‘fully there’ in my ‘reality’ if you will. Much like the robot things I saw in the desert that day.
I suspect my visual range is broadening to include things I didn’t previously see.
When I see a movie does someone else perceive it as a song and others as a table?
When I used to drive – I used to be amazed how I could ‘feel’ cars next to mine without seeing them in the mirrors or my peripheral vision.
If the outside world is a manifestation of my own perception and senses, then have I only had one lover my entire life?
I suspect so.
This lady’s a bitch sitting next to me. She knows it too.
My shirts too tight.
I wonder if I’ve never really changed shape my entire life, but the ‘outside world’ has altered sizes to lead me intellectually to believe I was expanding when I never really was.
Why do they never show superheroes having sex?
Why are superheroes almost always depicted as being violent?
Who would win in a game of Yahtzee: Brainiac or Skynet?
Are people aware the software they use can restructure their thinking processes according to the software and reinforce their design based on the limitations of the software and not reflect the real world well?
Do women get offended when you tell them their ass looks fat in those pants if they ask?
Do women have emotions, or do they just act like they do?
Are women all robots from China and North Korea?
Why did I never buy a swing and restraining equipment for sexual use with my partners? That’s gonna change.
Do some beings see my mind as a protrusion in their space and time as a star or galaxy in their reality?
When I listen to going Quantum and other dubstep or trance related podcasts, am I the only one hearing machines talk to me?
I suppose my idea of heaven consists of aliens, robots, artificial intelligences, dragons, demons, angels, superheroes and super villains, ghosts and goblins, sprites and more and all that far out fantasy and science fiction stuff.
Wouldn’t it be ironically funny if they thought I was fictional?
Would you trip out if you were hanging out at a Starbuck’s day in and day out, and the same people started coming in going through the same exact motions at the same time day after day?
I wouldn’t. I’d be like “Hollywood, what do you expect?”
What were those things coming down from the sky after I hadn’t slept for days at my parent’s house?
When I fall asleep. Does the outside world tell me i’ve been asleep for 8 hours when I have actually been asleep for days as the outside world does things around me thinking I don’t know?
I caught you.
Did Russia try invading the US with little people?
Did Vietnam try making a huge man and try invading the US with that mind controlled man?
I think that’s the real Noah’s Ark in Hong Kong. I’ll bet you can’t prove me wrong.
I think that’s a real crashed jet at Universal Studios. It certainly feels like it is. Even though they claim differently. I can actually feel that people died on that thing. Weird, i know. But then again that’s me.
“The Mystery Spot” used to be at Knott’s Berry Farm. Not anymore. Now it’s in Eureka, California.
Sometimes I think everyone around me is an actor acting on the set of my life. Sometimes I think these actors are all wearing holographic masks and disguises to disguise the fact they are Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Natalie Portman and everyone else I loved on the screen. And sometimes I just name people according to how they look on the screen “Now that guy looks like he’s CLEARLY Tom Cruise”
I suspect ‘cool people’ have something in their genes they pass from generation to generation which instinctually tells them how to be cool.
That explains my Timelord gene. It was passed from a generational thing.
What the hell does begotten mean anyways?
The weird thing about hanging out at Starbuck’s is listening to conversations.
They sound so.. contrived and so often scripted.
Time for me to skeedaddle