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Home » Borg » Q’s Log Stardate 93815.09 – 03/18/2016 17:20 AZ TIME – ON ACTING

Q’s Log Stardate 93815.09 – 03/18/2016 17:20 AZ TIME – ON ACTING

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Have you ever faked an orgasm, whether you’re male or female?

I have.

Have you ever held hands with someone of the same sex although you’re not gay just to hear people’s comments?

I have.

Have you ever bought a walking stick and dark glasses and pretended to be blind just to see how people would react?

No, I haven’t myself, but I swear there’s someone who does that here in Hollywood.

If you are wealthy, have you ever gone car shopping at an auto dealership for an expensive car in your most abused pair of shorts, t-shirt and flip flops just to give business to the salesman who looks past the exterior?

My dear old friend, Ron, may he Rest in Peace, used to do this when he went Lexus shopping.

Have you ever peed your pants intentionally?

I have.

I’ll get to why in a moment.

But first…

In the movie “The Game”, Michael Douglas plays a wealthy billionaire and man who is clearly pretty disgusted with life, whose brother, played by Sean Penn, approaches him with an agency who will “Change His Life” and help make him a happier man.

Reticent to contact “CRS”, an acronym for Consumer Recreation Services”, Michael Douglas on a particularly bad day contacts the company and schedules an appointment with them.

He sincerely has no idea what he’s getting and what  the agency is selling, so his skepticism is high when he shows up for his appointment, when he’s put through a battery of tests lasting all day when he finally confronts a leader to find out what “This is all about” when he’s finally told:

“It’s a game. Custom Made. Custom tailored. Just for you. We can;t tell you what the game is about and when it will begin, all we can tell you is it’s a game created just for you.”

Wanting and needing predictable despite how miserable that predictable life is, Michael Douglas isn’t given the option to refuse, as he’s told that he has been declined as a candidate for “The Game”.

Furious, a man who’s never refused anything storms out.

But he soon discovers that “The Game” is anything but over. As he soon realizes he has an Army of actors around him, and he robbed of his wealth, his company, and the thing he cherishes the most:

His predictable life.

He is shaken to the core.

I won’t give away the ending. But let’s just say. I learned something valuable from that movie.

The most valuable army one can have in the modern day.

Is not an Army toting overpriced weapons.

It’s an Army of entertainers.

Doing what they enjoy.

Whether that’s sex. Drugs. Or rock and roll.

Or more. Writing. Telling stories.

And getting paid for it.

In a not so proud moment of my life, in August of 2011 – not having slept for about 5 days, I was convinced my apartment complex had been a setup and I was surrounded by actors pretending to be neighbors.

The sounds I heard. The things I saw. Were straight off a sound stage.

I was scared, shitless, as I had been working my ass off for six months with 100 hour work weeks, as amphetamines seemed to be my only friends.

Was I delusional as I heard something about “Robot Jesus”?

Was I hallucinating when I saw a holographic Furby pop out of the floor?

Was I imagining things when I smelled an unusual odor coming out of my air conditioning unit, and seeing a weird liquid wiring in the AC unit?

Was I wrong for and feeling more paranoid by the minute?

I didn’t know.

But one day, as it intensified and I saw flies which had seemingly lost their ability to fly a straight line and flew in circles.

As I began fearing for my life.

I played dead on my couch.

Acting like whatever it was that had been ‘piped in’ finally did the job.

I could hear voices coming from the apartment above.

They seemed confused.

And then.

For effect.

I pissed myself.

It was then.

I knew for a fact there was more going on with this than simple hallucinations, drug induced or not.

As my hand writhed and my arm twitched and then moved on it’s own.

It was the most bizarre thing I had ever felt or experienced.

I ran out of the apartment complex, more scared than I’d ever been in my life.

I suppose I deep down I was always trying to discover….

What happens after you die?

As I sit here in Studio City. Surrounded by actors pretending to be something they’re not.

Whether you have read or written the Bible, the Koran, The Veddic texts, and more. Whether you believe in or practice Animism, Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism, Scientology and more. All of these stories are history.

My history.

It’s who I am.

Who you are.

Where we come from.

And all paths lead to me.

I can’t write a documentary about my life because I get one shot at this, one chance. Once my life’s done, it’s done.

Actors can be anything they want to be.

But I’d like to change what they are in this – my reality – right now.

To my awareness, actors are focused on acting to be successful on the screen.

But those actors who did what they did with me in North Carolina.

They WOKE me up. I was addicted to being a slave to just about everything, and as a result had lost complete control of my life. Whoever did what they did with me in North Carolina. I don’t know if they’re still around. I know my mind is more powerful than I had ever imagined and that it’s quite likely I may have harmed some who chose to help me. And for what they provided for me in my life, I am deeply grateful.

“The Game” – with a company named “CRS” – an acronym for Cant Remember Shit.

Yes, a part of me is Bill Gates. I can’t claim to be that man. But I can claim that we shared minds at one point in my life.

And maybe ‘The Game’ was about me.

Actors can be more than thieves.

They can be my professor at ASU who intentionally came across sounding like an idiot so I would teach myself how to program rather than wait for an institution to teach me.

They can be my lover when I haven’t had one in a long time and I’m feeling lonely.

They can be the kick in the ass I need out in the desert.

They can be that instructor who graded me less than I was worth so I could learn a valuable lesson about synchronicity.

They can be anything they want to be.

They can be that friend for someone who doesn’t have one.

They can be the home for someone who doesn’t have one.

They can be the boss when no one wants that role.

They can be bully and bad guy when everyone wants to be the hero.

They can be the good guy when  everyone’s afraid of being typecasted of being the hero.

In REL LIFE. They can provide the intrigue and mystery to someone devoid of it.

IN REAL LIFE. They can again be the amazing woman who sheds her clothes for no reason.

Or the ‘crazy man’ who strips naked and runs through Los Angeles.

IN REAL LIFE They can be the men going through airports to give the country something understandable to blame for the towers falling.

Or they can be the other crazy man acting like a zombie and threatening to eat people’s faces.

IN REAL LIFE they can be the young boy who’s truly terrified of meeting you and is acting like he has a gun.

Or they can be the man who knows FAR more than he lets on because he’s been around longer than you can imagine.

You see. Actors. Aren’t just acting on a screen near you.

Have you ever faked an orgasm, whether you’re male or female?

I have.

Have you ever held hands with someone of the same sex although you’re not gay just to hear people’s comments?

I have.

Have you ever bought a walking stick and dark glasses and pretended to be blind just to see how people would react?

No, I haven’t myself, but I swear there’s someone who does that here in Hollywood.

If you are wealthy, have you ever gone car shopping at an auto dealership for an expensive car in your most abused pair of shorts, t-shirt and flip flops just to give business to the salesman who looks past the exterior?

My dear old friend, Ron, may he Rest in Peace, used to do this when he went Lexus shopping.

Have you ever peed your pants intentionally?

I have.

I’ll get to why in a moment.

But first…

In the movie “The Game”, Michael Douglas plays a wealthy billionaire and man who is clearly pretty disgusted with life, whose brother, played by Sean Penn, approaches him with an agency who will “Change His Life” and help make him a happier man.

Reticent to contact “CRS”, an acronym for Consumer Recreation Services”, Michael Douglas on a particularly bad day contacts the company and schedules an appointment with them.

He sincerely has no idea what he’s getting and what  the agency is selling, so his skepticism is high when he shows up for his appointment, when he’s put through a battery of tests lasting all day when he finally confronts a leader to find out what “This is all about” when he’s finally told:

“It’s a game. Custom Made. Custom tailored. Just for you. We can;t tell you what the game is about and when it will begin, all we can tell you is it’s a game created just for you.”

Wanting and needing predictable despite how miserable that predictable life is, Michael Douglas isn’t given the option to refuse, as he’s told that he has been declined as a candidate for “The Game”.

Furious, a man who’s never refused anything storms out.

But he soon discovers that “The Game” is anything but over. As he soon realizes he has an Army of actors around him, and he robbed of his wealth, his company, and the thing he cherishes the most:

His predictable life.

He is shaken to the core.

I won’t give away the ending. But let’s just say. I learned something valuable from that movie.

The most valuable army one can have in the modern day.

Is not an Army toting overpriced weapons.

It’s an Army of entertainers.

Doing what they enjoy.

Whether that’s sex. Drugs. Or rock and roll.

Or more. Writing. Telling stories.

And getting paid for it.

In a not so proud moment of my life, in August of 2011 – not having slept for about 5 days, I was convinced my apartment complex had been a setup and I was surrounded by actors pretending to be neighbors.

The sounds I heard. The things I saw. Were straight off a sound stage.

I was scared, shitless, as I had been working my ass off for six months with 100 hour work weeks, as amphetamines seemed to be my only friends.

Was I delusional as I heard something about “Robot Jesus”?

Was I hallucinating when I saw a holographic Furby pop out of the floor?

Was I imagining things when I smelled an unusual odor coming out of my air conditioning unit, and seeing a weird liquid wiring in the AC unit?

Was I wrong for and feeling more paranoid by the minute?

I didn’t know.

But one day, as it intensified and I saw flies which had seemingly lost their ability to fly a straight line and flew in circles.

As I began fearing for my life.

I played dead on my couch.

Acting like whatever it was that had been ‘piped in’ finally did the job.

I could hear voices coming from the apartment above.

They seemed confused.

And then.

For effect.

I pissed myself.

It was then.

I knew for a fact there was more going on with this than simple hallucinations, drug induced or not.

As my hand writhed and my arm twitched and then moved on it’s own.

It was the most bizarre thing I had ever felt or experienced.

I ran out of the apartment complex, more scared than I’d ever been in my life.

I suppose I deep down I was always trying to discover….

What happens after you die?

As I sit here in Studio City. Surrounded by actors pretending to be something they’re not.

Whether you have read or written the Bible, the Koran, The Veddic texts, and more. Whether you believe in or practice Animism, Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism, Scientology and more. All of these stories are history.

My history.

It’s who I am.

Who you are.

Where we come from.

And all paths lead to me.

I can’t write a documentary about my life because I get one shot at this, one chance. Once my life’s done, it’s done.

Actors can be anything they want to be.

But I’d like to change what they are in this – my reality – right now.

To my awareness, actors are focused on acting to be successful on the screen.

But those actors who did what they did with me in North Carolina.

They WOKE me up. I was addicted to being a slave to just about everything, and as a result had lost complete control of my life. Whoever did what they did with me in North Carolina. I don’t know if they’re still around. I know my mind is more powerful than I had ever imagined and that it’s quite likely I may have harmed some who chose to help me. And for what they provided for me in my life, I am deeply grateful.

“The Game” – with a company named “CRS” – an acronym for Cant Remember Shit.

Yes, a part of me is Bill Gates. I can’t claim to be that man. But I can claim that we shared minds at one point in my life.

And maybe ‘The Game’ was about me.

Actors can be more than thieves.

They can be my professor at ASU who intentionally came across sounding like an idiot so I would teach myself how to program rather than wait for an institution to teach me.

They can be my lover when I haven’t had one in a long time and I’m feeling lonely.

They can be the kick in the ass I need out in the desert.

They can be that instructor who graded me less than I was worth so I could learn a valuable lesson about synchronicity.

They can be anything they want to be.

They can be that friend for someone who doesn’t have one.

They can be the home for someone who doesn’t have one.

They can be the boss when no one wants that role.

They can be bully and bad guy when everyone wants to be the hero.

They can be the good guy when  everyone’s afraid of being typecasted of being the hero.

In REL LIFE. They can provide the intrigue and mystery to someone devoid of it.

IN REAL LIFE. They can again be the amazing woman who sheds her clothes for no reason.

Or the ‘crazy man’ who strips naked and runs through Los Angeles.

IN REAL LIFE They can be the men going through airports to give the country something understandable to blame for the towers falling.

Or they can be the other crazy man acting like a zombie and threatening to eat people’s faces.

IN REAL LIFE they can be the young boy who’s truly terrified of meeting you and is acting like he has a gun.

Or they can be the man who knows FAR more than he lets on because he’s been around longer than you can imagine.

Not every actor is acting on a script.

You see. Actors. Aren’t just acting on a screen near you.

They’re everywhere.

With one exception.

They can’t be me.

You see there’s only ever been one Q.

And to you – Mr Jonathan de Lancie, who I not long ago sent an email to trace your agent’s connections and then subsequently trace your connections and IP which I now have server logs showing that you’re a regular reader of my BLOG.

Thank you. For acting.

You made one candid comment that broke from character and broke the illusion of you.

“I don’t know what humanity is to become”

You know where I am at.

I verified we ‘share’ the same world.

Come on down and let’s open up that conversation.

I know too much to turn back around now.

They’re everywhere.

They can’t be me.

You see there’s only ever been one Q.

And to you – Mr Jonathan de Lancie, who I not long ago sent an email to trace your agent’s connections and then subsequently trace your connections and IP which I now have server logs showing that you’re a regular reader of my BLOG.

Thank you. For acting.

You made one candid comment that broke from character and broke the illusion of you.

“I don’t know what humanity is to become”

You know where I am at.

I verified we ‘share’ the same world.

Come on down and let’s open up that conversation.

I know too much to turn back around now.


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