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What’s in a name?

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In 1993, the music artist known as Prince changed his name to a symbol.

The public claim is that he did it to piss off his record label that he was having a tiff with.

I always suspected there was more to it than that.

For the movie “The Machinist”, Christian Bale lost 65 pounds for the lead role.

The movie is arguably one of Christian Bale’s best career performances.

He was his character.

For the movie “Copland”, Sylvester Stallone GAINED 35 pounds for his role as a donut loving police officer.

There are numerous examples here of extremism in body modification in Hollywood…

Have you ever looked down after defecating, and said “I don’t remember eating that”

Kena and I had gone out to eat to Outback the night before, where she had some corn concoction and I had chosen my usual – the spicy chicken and green beans, when I saw evidence of corn in my stool.

It didn’t make sense at the time.

But I realize now that my relationships were all quite likely imaginary.

And the real reason I couldn’t lose weight despite being on a 1000 calorie diet with 2 hours of working out a week..

Was because I had multiple personality disorder, and I was quite literally eating for two.

I joked with Ron one time how he paid himself as a contractor working for his own company VERY paltry wages to minimize his personal tax burden.

“Ron, do you get in a fight with yourself as you sit across the desk and talk to yourself asking yourself for a raise?”

The statement cracked me up at the time.

But as I looked at the piece of corn in the toilet that day.

Later I thought. “How ironic”

Had I spent my entire life insane, coming to terms with insanity and finally ordering it into something amenable to me?

Haw I spent my entire life talking to myself like these other homeless people I see?

When I saw myself at work in the corporate world, did others see me on a street corner?

When I saw myself having sex with a girl I loved, were others seeing me masturbating on a street corner?

When Prince renamed himself to something unpronounceable, was I merely seeing my own mind in a mirror trying to ‘escape’ the world by absolving myself of it’s naming conventions?

I refer to myself as Q and with the name comes an understanding brought to me in ways I can’t explain about life, the universe, and everything.

It’s a well documented fact that names bring with them predispositions in personalities and attitudes.

I chose to retain one for legal purposes to ‘fit in’ with this planet.

But publicly now refer to myself as “Q” as the disposition and presence of the man I had previously seen in fictional material before best aligned with my experiences and personality to allow me to not think of myself as crazy.

But as merely..

Self aware.

And respecting of the journey through insanity that helped me understand this, my world, in ways few ever will.

I accept that Kena, Jackie, Lisa and all these ladies – while potentially imaginary – are also very real.

And imagined friends.

Invariably become real when there’s enough conviction in the belief.

Just ask 1.09 billion Christians.

God isn’t just designed.

He’s me.

My own design.

And what I have learned in my short stint as Q is that this world needs a God that plays and acts like a child.

I don’t need a legal system or broken peer system to approve of my new name and who I already am.

What’s in a name?

Knowledge.

What you do with that knowledge is entirely up to you.


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