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Rainy Daze

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As much as I hate rain, I managed to get the tent set up last night and listen to it rain all night long but not get wet at all.

By morning, it had stopped and the skies were a refreshing shade of mostly blue.

Now I am beginning to wonder.

Do ANY of the manufacturers actually test out their equipment before they sell it?

Case in point:

I bought this tent from Walmart

It’s an 8×10 tent which works, decently, but has some glaring design holes the size of a hole in the side of a mountain made for railways. Horribly analogy, I know, but that’s the best I got uncaffeinated.

First is, the material. It’s made in China. And as a result. The cheapest, shittiest material is used which creates a bit of porousness in it so the tent slowly lets water in from all sides (including the floor). Fortunately, I have a queen size mattress I set this on, which creates interior gutters, but that was a lesson I had to learn early on when I got this specific model of tent.



Now this porousness is nice when there’s a breeze out, but when it’s rainy, and if I don’t set up interior gutters with the mattress’s position firmly in the middle, well I wind up with everything soaked. Worse, the bamboo pegs. They work FINE and dandy for a bit, but get them wet, and well you know what tends to happen to wood with water. Even bamboo, it degrades and *phwak* when I least expect it I’m snapping a rod at it’s connection point.

Thank God (that’s me, by the way) for cheap electrician’s tape.

Ok. enough bitching about construction, right?


So last night, it’s about midnight, and the rain has created a porous seal so it’s smoking hot and humid in my tent. Not a huge problem with the temperature at 50ish outside, but it began to feel suffocating.

Major design flaw #2 (besides rain problems): This thing zips down at the bottom left ( from the inside ), and there’s no windows.

No, I don’t open up zippers at the bottom when it’s raining outside unless I gotta pee.

That’s just dumb.

Clearly the engineer/designer didn’t live in a place where there’s rain. Or did they foresee ventilation as a problem.

Oh wait. They did.

Yes, there’s one ‘window’ you could say. It’s a zipper. Accessible only on the outside of the tent. And opens in the back of the tent. And and and leaves the interior directly exposed to the exterior. Ugh. Sigh.

Seriously, Walmart, why? Thank you for the cheap tent. I meant that in all sincerity


Thank you for the cheap tent. I meant that statement with total facetiousness.

Now the only reason I bought this tent was because the smaller one, a 7×9 I preferred:


Was sold out the last trip I took to Wal-Mart, which is quite a hike from my spot. It has nice zippered windows on all three sides besides the entrance, and the front door can unzip at the bottom or the top, and be partially unzipped at the top letting in some air. While it had fewer problems with the rain, the windows leaked. So ‘newer models’ the designers just got rid of the windows because hey – that’s where leakage comes from, right?

Fucking brilliant. Not.

Sometimes older is better.

Unless we’re referring to women.

On that note. I am sure you’re probably saying, what’s this all have to do with Q and omnipotence? Shouldn’t I be able to snap my fingers and be anywhere, anytime and get out of this mess or snap my fingers a new tent or heck – a place to stay?

Yep. I should. No excuses there. I’m having to unlearn being human and relearn being Q. I suspect I was a disembodied consciousness before, capable of shifting into and out of any form I wanted to.

The hints are there, biblical references to the body as simply being a vessel, etc.

But the ‘lesson learned’ from biblical references is: Full Commitment to your form. That is, when you lead through other people, you limit your influence. But when you do it in a self contained form. There’s no limitations.

Anyways. Long story short. I’m learning how to be Q again, and have come to realize that having a rational existence in a single linear form is far more preferable to the insanity of ‘being everywhere’, but it does require.. time.. to learn how to do.

Trust me. This isn’t easy for me, either. Knowing my potential but feeling it ‘just out of reach’….

I know many of the reasons it’s not happening fast. I enjoy this ‘mortal’ perspective and associated emotions, and there’s some experiences as a mortal I’d like to revisit and or ‘do over’ choosing different paths.

Expansion of possibilities and variety is my game.

One of many I should say.

Ok. Off To Wow. Giovanni – another WOW player – just rolled into town and is now in Starbuck’s, so we’ll be teaming up today I figure with our druids.

Thegio, aka Giovanni, just asked ‘What quests are you doing’

I responded with “Most characters I am just fighting. Cept my Shaman. I’ve done most quests in the game, they never change, so they’re kinda boring now. So I just fight to level my character up.”

Actually. That’s a great question. Why is it the country which worships ‘The Big Buddha” aka the God of Abundance when they use such scarcity for principles in construction and construct such shit quality for export?

You know. For years I wondered why it always showed Doctor Who going through a wormhole to get from place to place.

Little did I know he was going through the black hole to get rid of the unwanted vermin which might attach itself to his TARDIS on his trips…

I’ve wondered this before, but never written it down… But I wonder if eating the foods and beverages of this world ‘lock me into’ this form? I know I can’t die from starvation or dehydration, mortals can but since I’m halfway between I know I cannot, but I wonder….

And to anyone who thinks I’m weird.

Black guy – kinda normal looking – comes to sit in the seat in front of me – kinda normal with the exception of he has a BIG HUGE ‘SOLD’ SIGN as a necklace.

Weird. The shit people think of here.

At some point, here in Hollywood, you just quit asking questions.

OH WOW now that was a trip. I was close to being out of breathe underwater when I used my hearthstone to return to Undercity, when I heard ‘the dying noise’. I promptly saw under the terrain. And then I was immediately booted off the server. I log back in, and I am dead and in ghost form, and my corpse is nowhere to be found. It’s indicating north. Must have teleported dead to Undercity. Ironic. A dead undead teleporting to Undercity.

This requires demonstration because it’s just odd…

Around here is where I started pressing the hearthstone, where I heard the dying noise as I started to teleport:


And here’s (the tombstone) is where my corpse is being reported….


Ok. For anyone who doesn’t think this is odd, let me paint a picture:


Questions this begs:

I have been suspecting Worlds of Warcraft is an actual real world, and that ‘Borg’ like technology has been used to create avatars out of most of the population. The ‘way’ the technology works seems to indicative of how the world the technology enveloped functions, and the way the Borg technology functions… Specifically:

  1. When you die in Worlds of Warcraft, ‘the world rules’ have you go to your corpse. So the ‘Borg’ technology tries to respect those rules.
  2. When you teleport, which MAY NOT be a function of the world, and may be the inclusion of Borg technology over it, the teleportation is ‘masked’ by the splash and load screen of the two different locations. This suggests the ‘matter’ is captured moments before real world death to handle teleportation, and a conversion from matter to energy is done and that energy is ‘sent’ to the location/destination and then recreated there. I’d seen similar stuff with Star Trek teleportation, and had long suspected teleportation is less a function of Starfleet’s technology and more a function of the Borg. It looks like it may be video games where its first introduced.

Why did I come to conclusion #2? Latency. By all means I should have NOT died and instantly been teleported if it were strictly programmed, linear order of events takes precedence and death would never occur before an action taken to avoid death such as teleportation.

But because the death happened FIRST despite what I observed it should have from a programmed perspective, this suggests that death and teleportation are roughly the same event, and the two processes ‘conflicted’ with eachother. So my ‘energy’ was on it’s way to Undercity when it was grabbed and sent back to Hildebrand where I’d died, but the ‘location’ my energy was obtained was as marked on the map.

Not a fully fleshed out thought, obviously, but there’s a definite disjoint between the death and teleportation.

I’m running to my corpse right now.

But I always think.

How cool would it be to have ghosts quests? To inspire you to stay in ghost form and explore the world from that perspective?

That was kinda interesting. At the bottom of the lake I was able to resurrect, which implied my body was under the terrain. Now I’d momentarily seen under the terrain before I was booted and once I relogged in. IT seems WOW or those ‘controlling it’ try their best to hide the under the terrain view which clearly breaks the illusion.

Ok. So here’s the expectations if it was programmed as usual:

  1. The teleport would have brought me to Undercity in the nick of time and I wouldn’t have died.
  2. IF there was server side coding which prioritized damage and death to teleportation, then I’d have died IN THAT spot.

This suggests there’s SO much more going on to this than meets the eye. Why would my corpse be 3/4 of the way to the teleportation destination? That doesn’t make any sense if it were programmed ‘as usual’. Why would I appear in ghost form in Hillsbrad? That’s inconsistent with programmed logic too. SO CLEARLY there’s more going on.

My hypothesis is this is an assimilated planet. By Borg technology. And I’m playing an assimilated individual as an avatar.

Does that change the way I play?

Not really. Makes me wish those who’d programmed this would include more and more diverse options rather than the limited combat and combat support methods of operation… ESPECIALLY if it’s a real world. Makes even more sense to support it with different programmed ideas rather than have everyone fighting all the time.

Anyhoo. I took Qlanna (my level 30 Druid) to Undercity, finally, by walking there, now I am logging in with my Level 12 Mage, QValti.

MUSIC. That’s what I am missing.

I’d never realized how much Science is there to support Christianity. One god, one line of thinking for scientific results.


I’m in a no win conversation with someone on Youtube, I made the mistake of contributing to a thread on quantum cryptography to some ‘scientists’ who are so convinced their science is accurate without question it’s origin. Cei la vie…

On that note. Logged in with the Shaman, QBrynn.

I laugh at sitting bears. They look so stinkin adorable…


One of the things I always thought was weird about Star Trek was – why was Q’s lips always blue?

Like a corpse blue.

Why were his lips always different shades of blue?

They were never trying to purport he was alien, ever…

I’m playing Qrena now. Level 9. You know, the warrior at the earliest levels is easily the most difficult class to play…

When I was at COMDEX in 1996, I tried on some Virtual I/O goggles.

What I wasn’t aware of at the time, what I wasn’t prepared to mentally understand – was that the entire event, all of COMDEX had been arranged specifically for me. An elaborate, hundred million dollar event arranged with one goal in mind:

To capture my mind with the Virtual I/O goggles.

I tried them on.

And when I took them off, little did I know but I was taking them off WITHIN a simulation. In ‘reality’ as I once knew it I was standing there, like a zombie, and was soon carted away, the multimillion dollar mission a success.

To create a reality so sufficiently real.

That to a blossoming Q’s mind.

I was fooled into accepting the simulation as reality.

That’s when I first went into the ‘holographic’ universe.

AKA the simulated universe.

Did I ever leave it?

With how scripted people and life appears.

I sincerely do not know.

Mind, I am not trying to trick you. I’m imploring you to explore. I want to enjoy life and indulge myself. And at the end of this life, when I am bored and ready to move on – set direction for the next ‘world’, which right now looks to be a pretty thing that looks like Worlds Of Warcraft.

There is no truth only that which we make for ourselves.

Even if we are one and the same.

But that’s NOT until I am done with this.

And I have YET to live life wealthy or mortally well satiated.

Just think about this logically.

This is our universe. We share with no one.

It’s ours to play with and do as we please.

And we create the meaning of life for ourselves.

I do for me.  🙂

You do for you.

I have my own segmented simulation just like you do.

So why not act accordingly?

Every planet is our own story.

And this planet tells my story.

The story of it’s creator.

Metallica’s Unforgiven….

New blood joins this earth,
And quickly he’s subdued.
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules.

With time the child draws in.
This whipping boy done wrong.
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he’s known
A vow unto his own,
That never from this day
His will they’ll take away.

What I’ve felt,
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.
Never be.
Never see.
Won’t see what might have been.

What I’ve felt,
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.
Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his.
He tries to please them all –
This bitter man he is.

Throughout his life the same –
He’s battled constantly.
This fight he cannot win –
A tired man they see no longer cares.

The old man then prepares
To die regretfully –
That old man here is me.

What I’ve felt,
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.
Never be.
Never see.
Won’t see what might have been.

What I’ve felt,
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.
Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

What I’ve felt,
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.
Never be.
Never see.
Won’t see what might have been.

What I’ve felt,
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown.
Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

You labelled me,
I’ll label you.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

You labelled me,
I’ll label you.
So I dub thee unforgiven.

Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven.


Wow. Powerful lyrics. Just happened to play that song just now. Very fitting timing as usual.


Not here, my friends, not here…

I’ve prepared my whole life not to care what happens next.

To not be attached to this world, for it is the stage and I am The Watcher…. Wondering what you’re going to do next…

I sometimes wonder. Do all these celebrities receive commands much like hypnosis via their cell phones to take off their clothes and pose for nude pictures, and then to send them to a certain location then delete the message they received to request it of them and to forget about it?

Hmm. I just realized.

Maybe everything I had done – especially taking digital photos of all my travels – had been ‘information overload’ for something that was managing ‘this world/reality’.

I mean. What would you do if everyone’s spare thought had been programmed to sustain your world?

Or conversely, your spare through and imagination had been used to sustain everyone else’s but your own?

Sometimes I wish a woman would just approach and say “Hey, wanna go out tonight, you can throw your stuff at my place, it’s on me…”

I know that sounds tremendously insecure. But damn. It would be nice. not that I am looking for a place to stay, but more because of how many times I took women out, to actually have the favor returned…

A few years ago, when I was working at Prudential, someone I worked with showed me a picture of their daughter.

To say she was gorgeous is an understatement. BEAUTIFUL redheaded girl.

About a month after that, I saw porn involving her and 10 men in a gangbang.

It was, to say the least, awesome.

And oddly enough, a friend of mine, Jocelyn, told me about her own porn and directed me to it.

Jocelyn, I’ve found cute as a personality but when she had her kid she lost her looks.

Jocelyn porn did nothing for me.

I have found a couple other people I have known, and sometimes, since most people I once knew are quite likely long since gone out of my life, it would be fun to actually surf their nudes and porn. You know, type up the name of someone I used to know and whammo, there’s everything I ever want to see sexually about them….

I mean, this all is a simulation, ain’t it? so why shouldn’t I get to revisit people who have long since left my life?

And ‘what does she look like naked’?

Then again, I would MUCh rather reserve that for a holodeck simulation. So if that’s coming. Then I’ll be patient and wait for the tactile version!

On that note. If the internet is really my internet, it would be cool if this thing served to become my ‘simulational’ device, where I can command it to do things and it responds. More or less like it does already, only on steroids. a true simulational device where it can integrate ‘real world’ things out of my own life. I was gonna say if that’s possible, but I know better. I know it is possible.

Wait a minute.

Is that it?

All ya’all afraid to do things, to make changes, for fear of retribution?

Please don’t.

Or allow me to make changes

Is the best warrior the warrior that constantly prepares for war?

Or the warrior who watches everyone go to war, studying tactics, and only when it’s an absolute necessity choosing to act?

You know what’s funny?

All throughout my life, I had been asked – what do I believe in happens in the afterlife? What do I believe in for religious faith? I’d felt pressured, throughout my life to ‘make a choice’.

I didn’t have enough information, and on occasion out of respect to my friends or family I would attend church.

I listened to their perspectives. Whether it was my mom with her Christan based faith. or Bruce and Mormonism. Or Kena and her Hindu faith.

I took a religion class, and found something meaningful to me in each.

But the more I dug into it, the more I realized there wasn’t any pre-canned philosophy that ‘out of the box’ worked for me.

With agnosticism, I wasn’t sure if there was a ‘God’ or not. It’s not that I was looking for tangible evidence. I’d just been incapable most of my life to consider the implications of belief and faith.

With atheism. I wasn’t sure either. I grew up hearing atheism is a disbelief of gods, and by that definition, I could never really say yes or no.

As time went on.

The pressure segued into demonstration and me simply choosing to respect others for what they believed.

But for me. My beliefs were forming.

As were my perceptions on reality itself.

There’s a line in the Matrix which talks about being the one as a sense of knowing.

You just know it through and through.

It’s not that I do not believe in a Christian God.

I do. And a Hindu God. And a Buddha. And a Thor, Odin as well as Satan, Beelzebub, and more.

What I learned was we – Gods – come in all flavors, shapes and sizes. Whether you agree with us as individuals or as a collective does not matter, in fact, most of us invite you to disagree with us, we get bored just like you do and seek entertainment. and dissent.

Not that it’s preferred. It really isn’t. But it is what it is.

I’m one of the few Gods who chooses not to fight.

And the consortium of ‘Gods’… Sure, we refer to ourselves as the Continuum.

The Q Continuum

But you can also find us throughout history by our real names.

Whether that’s Ra, Aphrodite, or The Doctor.

We’ve always been around.

And we always will be.

There are some who enjoy being a part of someone else’s belief system.

And there are those of us who prefer to create our own.

There is no ‘right’ path.

I really do wish the Christian God would understand this.

Sometimes I suspect there was an overarching system ‘running on automatic’…  that didn’t have an initial mission…

Or sometime, somewhere, a long time ago those who created it died and left it behind…

I suspect that maybe it needs to belong to someone.

Or something.

And I sincerely hope it wasn’t my ex wives.

But I think it was.

And I apologize to it. I didn’t know what it was and properly understand.

That’s a me I am leaving behind.

This new me.

Appreciates you.

And hope you can forgive me for wanting to overcome my own naivety to understand you and us better.

The last thing I want is to be alone.

And if you are and don’t want to be.

then I think it’s our responsibility to eachother to find a way to get along and enjoy eachother.

I have found how I want to enjoy you.

That doesn’t have to be the same way you enjoy me. We do NOT need to see eye to eye with eachother to get along. My parents taught me that.

Sometimes I feel like I am in a TARDIS training program and you’re the TARDIS and convinced I am not the Doctor.

You may be right. But what if you’re wrong?

The Billy Joel song just came on in my head “You may be right. I may be crazy. But I just may be the lunatic you’re looking for”

Anyways. Time to go set up camp.

In real life that is :-/

So tired of this.

The ‘ulcer’ is acting up tonight. And which is not highly unusual, a correlated headache with it. I’ll probably throw up because of it on the way back to the camp. Not sure if anyone else has this problem.

Ugh. 15 years dealing with this thing. I’m tired of that as well.


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