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Q’s Side Notes

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In 2009, I went to China and was given a two part immunization before I went that I was supposed to return back to the professional who administered it precisely two weeks later for the second part.

I never did.

I suspect China was using this immunization to understand relativity based time differences with China and my own body in China compared to the United States.

I was reminded last night, in a dream, of my mentally projected experiences of the ‘robot Jesus’ back in 2011.

Apparently, some versions of planet Earth built a robot Jesus I suspect to house and relocate the dying or near death conscious mind to another vessel. I am still not entirely sure what this robot Jesus was used for and the origin.

I suspect that my body may actually be that robot. I no longer have a heartbeat and haven’t felt one since I attempted suicide in 2011, and do not have a pulse in my neck but do in my wrist.

I’ve heard many things telling me to ‘let go’, and suspect many things are trying to ‘force’ me out of this body.

Not an option I seem to have.


I’d always wondered why western society cherished the dead, and why the images of a bloody jesus were everywhere, and why western religions idolized a man who was by definition undead, much like a vampire.

What I never really fully understood on those lines is why others didnt ‘see it’, and why drinking the blood and eating the skin seemed so…


I mean. If I am in the land of the undead, this is actually pretty darn interesting.

If only some would respond to commands like robots.

I’d command Rachel and Jackie to get their cute asses to Hollywood and now.


I am suspecting the digital and holographic universe – the internet, the games I play – are within my own body.

I am also suspecting many things within my body but are not within my world are well aware they are within my body and communicate with and to me through the internet.

I suspect ‘the drugs’ such as bath salts and cocaine I was taking were actually allowing a direct connection to my mind by these internal influences, and these sentient beings manipulated my world not always to my best interest (clearly)

I suspect Bill Gates created windows to ‘view’ alternate realities.

I also suspect he single-handedly developed Windows and came to understand I saw him as a company with many people.

I’ve seen many, many variations of Mr Gates, some good, some not so good, so it’s hard to say one way or another whether he’s done what he’s done for good or nefarious reasons.


I suspect the Borg on television are what I know as the Chinese.

I suspect a prior version of the Borg was led by Hitler and what is known as Germany, who were largely robots and cyborgs seeking to ‘upgrade’ the rest of the planet they erroneously thought was robotic.

I suspect the Star trek Federation on television are what I know as several different cultures with numerous ‘versions’ of the Federation.

One of which is Israel (Jewish people refer to themselves as the Federation).

Another of which is India.

I want each and every one of you to know.

I want to be here.

If this world is comprised of biologically based humans, as I no longer believe is the case, or if it’s comprised of robots, cyborgs, aliens, fairies, zombies, sirens, succubi, demons, talking dogs and snakes, and more.

It’s not that I am ready to believe.

It’s that suddenly. It all just makes more sense.

I mean. For years, I had questioned: WHY were all aliens depicted as human? Were makeup artists that unimaginative?

The answer was closer to home than I thought it was.

No. I was that unimaginative, and too busy misunderstanding you and I both.


Please quit punishing me.

Your world is created by your mind.

As my world is created by my mind.

Our worlds somehow found a way to overlap.

Please understand I can no more fit in your box anymore than you can mine, but we can certainly BOTH learn to collaborate.

I love what I have learned and am ready for the first time to love something I do not fully understand.

Or someone.

However you want to portray yourself.




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