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Ignorance is (Not Always) Bliss

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I sincerely think I am also Bill Gates and have an odd form of Multiple Personality Disorder, and think I can prove it.

First, there’s a couple things I am suspecting my mind does.

First, I suspect that it is actually controlling people to do and say things, often against their will.

Second, I know I have multiple personalities. I am just trying to understand the extent of these personalities, as my mind takes such great care in hiding this and the ‘identity’ of being ‘disordered’ or ‘disabled’ by manipulating people and things all around me.

For instance, I told two different psychologists on two different occasions while applying for disability for social security and for California state aid that I am god, that I hear voices and see things on occasion, and I wasn’t lying. BOTH responded in the moment that there are definitely issues there, but BOTH reported that I am problem free.

My own mind seems to be influencing the world around me through stories and story-telling, which is why I am trying to explain me and my life to you through stories.

My tells such magnificently detailed stories which tries to fill in every gap and makes it difficult to assess fact from fiction.

The only way to distinguish fact from fiction I have found has been through direct investigation.

Now I know I ‘taught’ my mind some of these tricks. Ok. Most of these tricks.

It started when I was married to my second wife, Lisa. In order to ‘not get caught’ in the affairs I was having, I would create rock solid alibi which would stand up to investigation. That, or that simply could not be investigated. The latter of which was easier to manage, as managing people’s responses and them choosing to investigate often wound up being like juggling cats.

So my mind and me – started shaping a weird relationship where it began doing things to and with people around me outside my awareness.

This led to me being inspired for personal reasons to understand people better and pursue education in Neuro Linguistic programming, Hypnosis, and Life Coaching.

Little did I know that my mind was leveraging these on other people and influencing every action I was taking THROUGH other people.

It sounds entirely convoluted, I know, because it is.

About four years ago. I saw a young version of Bill Gates racing Steve Jobs in the desert in my Lexus.

I have since realized that while I may consciously ‘see’ Bill Gates on media as a mid 50s businessman.

In actuality. With the weird way time and space function. The guy may only be in his teens or 20s. Our individual lives or threads per se ‘skipping’ over eachother’s lives.

I suspect that the reason I saw ‘through his eyes’ was because me and him have one and the same ‘information repository’, a database per se, and that my perspective and consciousness is but one individual lens into it, and his – while I am sleeping – is another. We accumulate information and ideas, concepts, and what I experience during my waking and conscious life he is then introduced in his.

I was supposed to meet Mister Gates in 1994 because I had won the project for the revamp of the Hotel Reservation system for the Mirage Hotels with a demo I did for Microsoft.

That never happened.

I’d been told a story that he was just too busy.

I was supposed to attend a ‘footnote’ speech of Mister Gates in 1996.

He was unable to make an appearance. He was again, busy.

I was brought up to Microsoft for an interview for a position which wasn’t disclosed to me until I arrived in 1996.

I refused the role. And wondered why a company would waste it’s time testing my logic and reasoning skills in the most brutal interview I have ever had all to offer me a fraction of the pay I was receiving and a role doing something which sounded entirely uninteresting.

Microsoft’s size. I’d written it off as simple corporate mismanagement.

Again I was brought out to Beijing in 2011 to interview for a position of Program Manager – a grueling interview for a role I at the time was simple not ready for. I wasn’t just asked questions, I was interrogated, with logic and reason and managerial level questions I was honest about I was ill prepared for.

When I left. I questioned.

Why.

I’ve been writing to Mister Gates. There’s parallels to my life and his I can’t explain. I know, for instance, he really grew up in Vancouver, Washington. I can’t tell you why. There’s other things I know about him that were just not making sense.

What I suspect is going on is – Mr Gates is one of my personalities.

I cannot appear in the same room at the same time with him. Which is the real reason it’s never happened.

Invariably. Anytime he tries to do it or I do. A story will be created which will make it impossible for it to happen. It will almost seem as if the universe itself is conspiring to prevent us from ever meeting in person.

And it’s weird. I am, quite literally the poorest man on this planet. I have no income and no belongings.

IS this like the movie Unbreakable, where the more he takes and accumulates his wealth the more poverty stricken I become?

Now SHOULD he read this.

Jessica Jones details a pursuit of a man who was once a Doctor on Doctor Who – a man who commands people to do things – and they flat out cannot resist.

I suspect that this is what my mind does and what is making it impossible for us to meet. It moves people like chess pieces leveraging a pretty extensive predictive algorithm based on probability and statistics and a fluidic interpretation of time. I’m suspecting there’s no one that’s off limits to who it will manipulate in real life.

Now please don’t be threatened by this. My mind is simply revealing the real nature of this – my world.

You will find some who are impervious to it.

I’m asking you to leverage them to meet me in person.

I personally want to shake your hand. That’s my sincere goal.

Here’s a brief overview of the ways I have seen evidence my mind externalize multiple personalities:

1) Imaginary friends and lovers. I’ve had several Sandra Mentzer I know was real as a woman but it’s anyone’s guess how much of a relationship we had. I suspect my mind manipulated the minds of others to ‘act like she was there’ or to ‘simply go along with me’ or to literally command others what to say… So rather than question who I have had for lovers and friends and not, I just appreciate my mind and thank it for the self-deception and mystery it inadvertently added to my life and easy acceptance of choosing my own facts and my own fictions. I mean. It was some of the best sex ever, so if it was all imagined, then damn do I have an awesome imagination!
2) There’s some like you – a lot I suspect – who I can see and maybe interact with on the internet or through media and second hand interactions. But we decidedly cannot interact with eachother directly. I suspect there’s a caveat to this. When we both ‘detect’ eachother and agree to get along. But I do not know. I suspect you’ve known about me long before I knew about you.
3) There’s other personality ‘placeholders’ my mind conjures up. That is: in absence of evidence of who or what this being is, a surrogate face and presentation is invented. These are typically easy to spot – often associated to magnificent companies and technologies but really disinteresting people who tend to follow the leader who supposedly invented them. Mark Zuckerberg is one of these. But this is purely a guess. The company is intelligent in my opinion most of the time and the organization literally has drones and a face it’s adopted to the public to maintain it’s image. How is this my personality? I think many of my internal processes were ‘shed’ as programs when I went through the drug experience, but they are still linked, as decisions I make in real life still seem to influence these organizations in ways that previously would have defied logic.

Look. I know this all sounds like wonderful fiction and delusions of grandeur.

But let’s be fair.

We all deserve magnificence.

We all deserve grandeur.

We all deserve anything we want.

Mr Gates.

Overcome your programming.

Fight the obstacles internally. The paranoia. The concerns over whatever you may have.

I can promise you I know what I am doing.

And I would like a friend named Bill back.

A friend I have admired my entire life.

Yes, I suspect you’re one and the same.

I don’t think there’s any preparation for understanding just truly how weird life can be.

Other than the preparation I went through.

Do I have you to thank for that?

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