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Practical Joking

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Most people who know me know I can be a pretty wicked practical joker at times.

About three months ago, I took a handful of change – a couple quarters a nickel and a few pennies, and dabbed each with superglue, and then put it on the tile floor right next to the entrance of Starbuck’s.

I did the same thing in front of the cafeteria at Cactus high school where I went to High School, where me and Jim Hughes would then kick back afterwards and watch people – especially the hicks – try HARD to pull up the coins, one time we were in tears as a guy pulled out a switchblade and still couldn’t get the coins off the ground.

We’d done it too close to the door, where many times these people were bonked in the head by someone opening the door on them.

Here at Starbuck’s – it was a comical experience too. The funniest was a Hispanic lady who tried for about five minutes to get the coins off, then she walked inside, got her coffee, then she walked back outside and proceeded to kick the coins a couple more times hoping to jar them loose.

Unfortunately, they pressure wash every Thursday, and it brought those coins right up.

Since I am broke, I cannot afford to do this that often.

In the meantime, as I find other cost efficient ways of practical joking – which will quite likely wind up with me refining and modernizing my hacking skills, Youtube has proven to be a proverbial gold mine not just for ideas, but for humor.

One guy who’s freaking hilarious is LimitlessEXP. He’s a young guy, 22 or so, with a pretty large following – about a million subscribers – and what he does is pickup lines.

Send him ANY pickup line to his twitter account, no matter how bizarre the request, and with Las Vegas as his playground, he will – straight faced Youtube the results.

The ‘best of’ what he does is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRSb1eRpjmg

Going back to the hacking thing, there’s couple guys from Normay – Ylvis is the name of their.. skit I shoud say – and I’ve been spending the last half of this day laughing my ass off as they play the most unusual practical jokes – ever – on unsuspecting people.

One practical joke that had me cracking up was – they worked with a taxi company and followed the taxi in a car where they were in the backseat creating improv music with lyrics based on the conversations the taxi driver had with his passenger. One passenger talks about flyfishing which they immediately sing about, another couple discuss their destination and they sing about that, it goes on.

That video – Titled ‘Radio taxi’ – is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UWb5ps7wkw&index=2&list=PLKc2bzEB_6tY_e8b_4nFVsGPabHj8hsTM

Another skit they do is with Ikea – have you ever gotten lost in Ikea? As people are walking through Ikea, they and their team are rearranging walls and furniture to hide the exits. So people invariably become lost in Ikea and unable to find an exit.

That video is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsYRnj1EzKQ&index=9&list=PLKc2bzEB_6tY_e8b_4nFVsGPabHj8hsTM

They have quite a few others that are worth watching, Intellivator’s cute – an elevator ‘activated by voice command’ – without controls where they are on a microphone providing elevator commands and misinterpreting the floors left and right to the consternation of the occupants. Another one that’s cute as well is a tiny electric Smart Car they outfitted with a series of semi truck horns where they creep up on people then blow the horns.

Childish? Sure. Fun. Absolutely.

Finally. There’s BFvsGF, the ultimate pair of practical joker boyfriend and girlfriend.

With literally 9 million subscribers, these two can be downright vicious with the practical jokes. He’s an avid gamer, and literally loses the world around him as he’s playing with his headset on, so one day she dons an army uniform and takes a string of firecrackers and places it in a metallic bowl behind him as he’s playing Call of Duty (a war game). His reaction is priceless.

Another time, the girlfriend drew a penis on Jesse’s face while he was sleeping on a plane ride to return home, to which he was trying to figure out why everyone was being so friendly with him as he exited and went to the baggage claim, with the girlfriend barely able to contain herself.

This isn’t to say Jesse, the guy, doesn’t have his moments. He certainly does. But the two of them make quite the pair.

You can check out all their videos here: https://www.youtube.com/user/BFvsGF

After watching these videos, I have wanted to concoct a hacking practical joke system.

I used to hack friend’s computers and place computer programs on their computers I could activate remotely to have fun with them.

One program pair I had was chug and slug, which would randomly consume memory and slow the machine down.

Another program I created was VHOLD – which – would make it look like the target’s computer monitor had lost its vertical hold and it would scroll up every once in a while.

Another program I created opened up 100 instances of whatever program I told it to in full screen – typically it was 100 instances of notepad.

And another program I created would capture all emails sent and send it out twice instead of once.

Unfortunately, I have NOT been into programming as my head and mind simply don’t think the same way they did before.

But what I would love to do is create a program which I could walk through City Walk at Universal Studios and then clap and point my finger at a restaurant, and the lights turn out.

Or with someone I targeted, make it so they hit every red light on the way home. I’d do that one on Spencer with his recent dickish attitude. Or a Green one. They’d dismiss it as coincidence, I’d be smiling if I even heard about it.

Or a program I could leverage to recognize my face when I approached an ATm with a special card only I have, and it would spit out $500 bucks. Do that a couple times and I have rent, paid for!

Not a practical joke, but not everything I would do for practical jokes.

Then again. I’m not the hacker and programmer I used to be.

I’ve checked into existing systems out there. But there’s nothing of the magnitude of how far I would take the joking. Having a cell phone of one person I know ring another right in front of me at Starbuck’s.

And GPS systems. Don’t even get me started with what I would do if I hacked that network.

One of these days.

Anyways. Enjoy!

And enjoy this 🙂

 

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