I was going to write about Hitler and the prior world wars today, and about this enigmatic thing called leadership, but after a visit to the Catholic Church with my friend Ray today, and a few conversations afterwards I figured I will save that darker conversation for later.
I will still share some memes on him after this, though, as they are quite funny.
But first – just an FYI.
I programmed computers for 31 years, 10 years longer than I really should have, and went through a burnout period working 100 hour weeks where my social life suffered, which led to drug abuse, alcoholism and my subsequent suicide attempts. I left this career because I valued my life and sanity.
Which is why I prefer homeless over the incredibly few options being presented to me.
My short term goal is to improve my writing skills, understand the filmmaking processes, and get into adult oriented science fiction and fantasy storytelling.
Long term. Snap my fingers and be anywhere, anytime. To live the stories I tell – and create new ones for others to tell.
Yesterday, Spencer Anglin, a friend from Arizona, called me a quitter yesterday. Now this man claims he’s a new Christian and no longer does the drugs or alcohol I used to do regularly with him. I respect that. He proceeded to tell me I am miserable. And how I have no friends because of my insurmountable character flaws. And then he told me I am selfish and lazy and I need to beg for forgiveness from my family to have a place to live. And then proceeded to regurgitate scripture on me and tell me how much he’s doing for homeless people.
Now mind you, I have known this guy for 14 years. And this guy, with laser focus, decides it’s the perfect time to hit the homeless guy while he’s down.
Whatta wonderful poster child for Christianity, right?
No matter. I still call the guy a friend and attribute the conversation is because something funky is going on with my version of the internet and when I do hear something from people, it’s typically horribly negative so I have come to just ignore the negativity and choose to believe these people, in real life, aren’t one and the same being portrayed on the internet.
It makes more sense than now suddenly Spencer’s a teetotalling bible thumping windbag who has lost all rational capabilities for logic and reason….
But the conversations did make me think long and hard about my addictions to sex and drugs.
If someone offered a line of coke or bath salts, even though it has been several years since I have done any of it, would I do it?
Answering honestly. Yep.
Just not alone from here on out. I want others to keep me honest about my habits and that’s how I’d control an addiction.
I have to admit. I enjoyed the often unpredictable intellectual ride both provided.
Four years ago, yep.
Just frustrated sexually and to some degree – also physically and mentally.
Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain, and it is already cold – which being homeless sucks because everything has a tendency to get wet. So anticipation of this is not fun.
Being alone is no longer ‘sad’ to me. It’s just sexually frustrating. Nothing more. And relief from that frustration is five minutes away at any time, but I prefer not providing that relief with the sincere hopes of finding a real life partner of the female persuasion with a warm body and receptive demeanor.
Miserable? I fluctuate daily depending on the lack of sleep, but if my writing portrays that, and I can assure you and him that I am not, then something is clearly off with the way he is interpreting what I am saying. I found this to be a bizarre response, which he refused to discuss further before regurgitating bible verses on me.
In any case.
Writing is also my way of ‘exorcising my demons’. While the conversation bothered me a tad, I’m ridding myself of this through this dialog.
Which is where a lot of my discussions come from.
Just a simple desire to feel good in real life, and an expulsion of the thoughts – and often – the crap that’s within.
Perhaps that’s the misinterpretation. He assumes I am one and the same guy both offline and on.
No, Spencer, just like in real life working as an agent for the NSA for 8 years. I was taught to be two different people both on the job and off. I’m merely extending this to the digital world because, well, it just makes sense and is my way of coping with things that others like you, quite frankly, are incapable of comprehending.
You’re a good guy, Charley Brown, but as a friend, you’re something I used to refer to as a fairweather friend – that is, you’re a friend as long as it works for you.
I can’t change that in you. Nor do I want to. But we treat friendship differently. So get over it.
On a wholly different note: Scientists have reverse engineered something called DNA.
DNA is otherwise known as Deoxyribonucleic acid, and is the hereditary material in humans and almost all other organisms.
Nearly every cell in most people’s bodies has the same DNA.
Now scientists have found the genetic sequences which develop the traits of children – whether those traits are blue eyes, blond hair, skin color, and more, and currently countries such as China are working on cloning things – humans included – based on DNA manipulation.
They have a problem though – there’s something they refer to as ‘Junk DNA’, which is anything but junk.
Life’s full of choices. A finite potential of choices fills everyone’s lives, and those choices invariably lead to the development of a person’s tastes, their likes and dislikes, their character and personality – and more.
More often than not, these choices lead to death, dissatisfaction with life, dismemberment, or problems we as individuals prefer not going through.
That’s the purpose of junk DNA. To remind the body of the choices and experiences we encountered in alternate realities and what it led to. And to allow our body to influence our decisions in this conscious reality.
It is imperfect and open by design, as sometimes influences – both external and internal can override, impair, and cause problems and conflict with the choices we make. Sometimes additions and subtractions to DNA can be artificially or naturally introduced. And sometimes, a creature has the natural capability to override its own programming.
The analogy to this would be similar to an Artificial Intelligence being able to rewrite its own code OR even more unlikely – to NOT even need its source code. Both possible. And not unusual for either humans or their digital equivalents – artificially intelligent lifeforms.
No matter the case. Base DNA contains the genetic algorithm – aka ‘the starting point’ of a particular biological entity.
JUNK DNA are the choices that entity made across realities.
Generally speaking, of course. As it is always possible to find exceptions.
My advice is to think of base DNA minus the junk as a game that’s been freshly installed on a computer. And the Junk DNA are the save games which occur after the game’s started.
A final note: DNA and it’s equivalent likenesses come in many forms. Its not just locked into the biologically based protein in cells as documented on my internet.
It is also a product of the mind and energy. Some regard this as the Akashic Records. Some cultures regard accessing this as ‘enlightenment’ or ascension.
But the premise is still the same.
On a final note – I will save the memes for later. They’ll help with offsetting the Hitler darkness when I write ….
On a final final note – I saw a woman who looked at me like she knew me.
Now I have long suspected there’s beings which have ability to float their consciousness between bodies. I suspect this is the ‘type’ of being this entity known as “God” as depicted in the Old Testament of the bible is.
But I felt Jackie’s presence in this woman. Her look was one of which it was a silent hope that I would recognize her.
She didn’t look like Jackie, but the presence ‘felt’ like her.
I am now suspecting Jackie’s one of these beings with the ability to float her consciousness between different human forms.
If so. Then approach me, Jackie, and come chat with me, in a female form.
I’m not gonna get weirded out.