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Candid Camera, USA style

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I used to love the British comedian Benny Hill.

The guy was a pervert, and in part an inspiration, as his shows always featured scantily clad top heavy women and his antics with these women were freakin hilarious to watch.

At about the same time Benny Hill was on were frequent episodes of Candid Camera.

Candid Camera, unlike modern so-called ‘Reality’ television, originally featured a man by the name of Allen Funt who would set up pranks he would play on unsuspecting people and simply film their reactions.

It was Punk’d before Punk’d became popular.

As I am fishing for new entertainment sources and trying to figure out a way to access entertainment sources from alternate realities – having no luck whatsoever with this – which has had me looking at entertainment around the world for other options.

Enter Russia.

There’s a wonderful show I found called “Naked and Funny’ filmed in Russia available on Youtube which features seemingly genuine people in genuine situations where something weird happens that generally winds up with a woman being accidentally stripped down to g-string bikini bottoms and nothing else.

While the United States and Russia BOTH do not have laws concerning general nudity in public, the United States only wide scale law applies to public parks ONLY.

Meaning, if you’re a guy or gal, as long as it’s not sexually related, you can stride right down the street without a lick of clothing on if you pleased here in the United States.

As long as you’re not in a public park, you can’t be cited.

Russia’s clearly far less prudish though, and resultingly has this television series on during prime time that makes light of people’s unsuspecting reactions with this show.

One woman, for instance, is an attractive office manager who is interviewing candidates. She then asks the candidate to take a box to the receptionist which ‘snags’ on her dress where she winds up completely naked and really not that interested in putting back on her clothes after it happens..

Another time an office is hiring but the candidate isn’t told what the firm does. As the candidate is asked to wait in the break room, two extremely attractive women walk in without clothes. I can imagine this happening for real by being called in to work for a strip club where the hiring office looks like a legitimate office and the break room is part of the hiring office.

I’ve always wanted to own a strip club. That gives me ideas on how to have fun with people should I ever get the money to open one up for myself. That and casting couches. *evil grin*

And in another episode, a somewhat cute ‘blind woman’ walks into the men’s side of a gym locker room and proceeds to get completely undressed, walks to the shower, and back, nude, then proceeds to get dressed again. The funny thing is not one guy says a thing as they all watch her do her thing.

Should they? That’s a tough call if you yourself can’t see and quite frankly don’t care, ya know?

And yet another time, a small 2nd class train cabin is outfitted with a fake toilet to which an old man, waiting for a cute girl to come in, acts like his stomach’s upset and then proceeds to pull down his pants and ‘act’ like he’s relieving himself in the toilet literally right in front of her, as she’s hitting him the entire time.

That’s here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74NTLqDcQa8

Now the music and accompanying laugh and sound track is absolutely stupid and since there’s little to any dialog and the captions are all in Russian, I just turn off the volume and get ideas and giggle lie a little school boy on occasion.

Another episode of the show’s available here if you want to see it for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8RN1bYH2RQ

Now sometimes funny but sometimes weird is the Japanese game show featuring couples – husband and wife or boyfriends and girlfriends – people who are generally intimated with eachother and know eachother physically – and the highly sexual game show has the couple trying to identify their partners.

Playboy – a long time ago – had a similar show on their channel, and there are current versions of this same show in Australia and Eastern Europe.

The challenges vary – a tall and long screen with 12” circular holes will be presented and 10 bare pussies will be presented, and the blind folded males, one by one, will then be asked to either have intercourse with each one– without using their hands – and then be asked to identify which pussy is their significant other’s.

The same challenge will be presented where the male is allowed to use their hands or mouth and identify their significant other by taste and smell or feel.

Similarly, the males will then be behind the screens and the females will be asked to do the same thing. Perform fellatio on each one, have intercourse with each one, and then identify whose is their significant others.

Sometimes. They are asked by the host to identify their favorites.

Breasts will be presented. Asses. Penises. And the face for each is revealed once everyone has gotten the opportunity to ‘sample’ the wares.

Sometimes they are blindfolded and asked to touch. Other times they are not and are simply asked to identify by vision.

It’s way perverted. Way fun. Those Japanese sure know how to put on a weird and fun game show, that’s for sure.

Those Japanese are clearly a far more physically progressive and less puritanical a society than the stodgy westerners, that’s for sure.

Now during the time Allen Funt did Candid Camera, he did a nude version of Candid Camera but he was clearly out of his comfort zone doing this. The scenes were unfunny, unrealistic, and didn’t stretch people’s comforts zones – whether it was the actors and actresses who participated, the subject bring ‘pranked’, or the audience themselves.

In fact, it was just flat out lame.

About 7 years ago, Jackie, Jocelyn and I and two others rented a 2 bedroom condo in Mexico, when Jackie and I walked out of the master bedroom we were in after waking up in the morning to see Jocelyn Hilliard – stark naked – eating Cheetos and watching television.

Anyone can ask Kena, my last girlfriend, that after my second wife, I had developed a penchant and felt comfortable in the buff, and more often than not I would walk around naked in my apartment oftentimes with Kena fully clothed or getting in her ‘pajamas’ to sleep. As a guy, I know, I know, it’s not horribly sexy.

But as Jackie and I walked out that day and saw Jocelyn watching cartons as if it was nothing – our first floor condo’s blinds wide open as people walked by, I had to laugh at how utterly comfortable she was in her birthday suit.

“What?” she said, not even giving me any attention, “my whole family are nudists, what’s the big deal?”

 This wasn’t’ long after Rachel had come over to my place shortly after my divorce and stripped for no apparent reason.

I’d realized I was being infantile about my fixation on nudity. My societal moirés had become contorted. I had realized my monkey brain had been miswired to link sex to nudity, and I had a wholly unhealthy perspective of the human body. And while this perspective definitely helps the sales of textiles, it prevents the introduction of other ‘inventions’ and ideas beyond simply covering up the body.

I have asked Jackie, privately, to come join me being homeless in Hollywood.

She’s without a job, and has been since May, and she’ll fully admit that Florida is toxic for her when asked for reasons I will not get into. She’s highly creative, the best marketer I have ever met, and not only do I love the woman, but since I regard relationships VERY differently now than I did before, I’m sincere when I say I’d get married to her in a heartbeat in an open marriage which I have no doubt she’d be game for as well.

Now with this. I have also insisted that if she does decide to come to join me, that she has to travel from Florida to California – completely naked and without clothes – including no shoes – by hitchhiking, and wearing only a small backpack carrying a few personal items such as ID, passport, toothpaste and tooth brush, and nothing else.

She HAS to be completely naked with no clothes or covering of any kind for her body on her or packed. She can pack shoes. But she can’t use them.

It’s an experiment. The woman I know is beautiful, brilliant and a quick thinker. And how many times she went out in a bra and boxers alone without anything else on while we ran to 7 eleven or the grocery store. Accordingly, I want to challenge the girl intellectually and I suspect she’ll have no problem ‘figuring out’ logistical issues such as staying warm, and getting out of trouble should she find herself in it. Again, legally, she can’t get in trouble if she does this unless it’s in a park, and even then she can only be cited.

Being nude in public isn’t a legal offense. Period end of story. It’s a moral offense, which is why police might intervene, but you will always see they release the subject without citation.

No, the goal isn’t to make Jackie a guinea pig. The real goal is to tell her I love her and need her in my life, to kiss her and hold her and then craft a way together to leverage our skills and make names for ourselves as entertainers. And to challenge her intellectually and physically in ways I have no doubt will let her give her a firm understanding of the things I have been openly discussing to everyone without needing drugs or alcohol or any other substance.

My theory is that if you push people beyond their limits with their consent and approval, they’ll become enlightened in ways they never imagined.

Now I have asked her to take photographs of her journey. Uncensored ones. Showing and telling everything. Getting permission from those who are in it, and blurring out the faces of those who don’t provide it. I’ve also told her that she is not to bring harm to anyone, and to leverage sex, frequently if possible, as her tool and document it all – rated ‘g’ to rated ‘x’ – both through photographs and diary.

And finally, I told her when she arrives, we will create a web site when she arrived, and we could do similar things involving other people here in the Los Angeles area – afterwards and should we make an income from this – we can travel – and wash, rinse, repeat do the same thing in other places around the world.

Now there’s a web site called ‘nude in public’, available at http://www.nude-in-public, which features very attractive women stark naked in places throughout mostly Eastern Europe and Germany. Another web site features the same women. A sister site, http://www.flash-in-public is the same thing, but instead of women walking nude, they are typically flashing, and there’s another site they have which I can’t find at the moment which features the same women having sex. All natural, no photoshopping or touching up.

Here’s one image from flash-in-public:


And another:


Looks a lot like Jackie, doesn’t she?

And another from Nude in public:


SO If Jackie chooses to participate with me on this, and quit accusing me of doing drugs when I am most certainly not and simply coming up with ways to not be alone and get an income – WITH her – the goal with all this is to make a classy American alternative competitive material to the Japanese, Russian, Australian, and Eastern European entertainment featuring Jackie and I with sexual content as well, and yours truly – imperfect body and giddy childishness and all – will participate in it all.

All natural. No photoshopping of me, Jackie, or anyone else on the web site. No touch ups or blemishes, no nothing like that. You’ll see crowd and people’s reactions as plain as day, such as the last image. Hopefully JACKIE can capture these reactions on her way here should she do the journey as I asked her to.

Yes. I would LOVE to get other women from my past and present to participate with this as well. But one thing at a time.

This isn’t just a source of income. It’s a source of fun.

That and it’s an opportunity to teach Jackie to create web sites and hone her marketing skills, and gives me an opportunity to be creative with the ‘situations’, make a humorous production featuring those we leverage in the material, try to be fun and light hearted about it all, and to push the puritanical boundaries of our really weirdly conservative society in the United States.

I see this as a win/win/win, and while it may not be something you publicly admit to wanting to watch, you have to admit it may be intriguing enough for you to want to turn on in private.

I know I would if it was one of my friends.

We’re all peeping toms and perverts at heart.

I once had a friend named Eric Matis who I lost by being a dick and judging the guy saying t myself “I would never get into porn” because it would taint my image as a programmer. I judged the guy. Which was moronic, because he was doing something I was extraordinarily envious of. That and my image is tainted. And I’m just interested in having fun, without the guilt and shame I may have formerly had at one time.

Little did I know how much porn and programming need to go hand in hand.

Imagine it. All these shows and web sites as inspiration. And Candid Camera, Hollywood style. Featuring one, if not two people you might know.

It only requires that you collectively encourage Jackie to do it. Yes, I know what you are and I am cool with that too.


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