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Things I love

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It’s raining here in Studio City tonight.

Normally, when I have a car and warm place to sleep in, I enjoy the rain.

But when I am homeless and sleep in a park I have to walk a mile to, I hate the rain.

I think someone operating this simulation heard me, and the rain died down quick so I will not be drenched by the time I arrive at the park in an hour.

I will still be chilly. With temperatures approaching 4.5 degrees Celsius, 40 degrees Fahrenheit, I will go to bed talking to the sky saying ‘whoever, whatever you are listening. It’s not too much to ask for simulative or holographic versions of Rachel and Jackie to keep me warm tonight’.

As usual, I figure my pleas for warmth in the form of female human companionship on a planet where women avoid homeless men and men without money like the plague will go unrequited.

But as the amazing and wonderful woman who I still love named Kena aka Sukruti Patel would say, one fine day, I have faith that someone behind the cosmic holographic controls of reality will say “Just give him what he wants and let’s see what happens”

In the meantime, to maintain a positive spirit. I figure it’s the holiday season (and nearing Christmas), and an opportunity for me to share the things I love.

And with this new line of complete candor and embellishment, which is very new to me and I don’t give a rats ass if you don’t like it, as usual it’s rated ‘PG-13’:

With that said, what I love – and I am saying this in the present tense for a reason:

–          I love the snow after a hard day of skiing, relaxing with eggnog and/or Crown Whiskey and friends like Joe and Amy.

–          I love it when Jackie and I go to 7 Eleven after doing a few lines of coke, and all she wears are her boxer underwear, tank top, and flip flops. SO white trash ghetto fabulous. So funny. And SO many times I have been tempted to pull them down when there’s a crowd around and stepping on them so she can’t pull them up.

–          I love it when my mom makes her absolutely simple egg noodles and hamburger meat with potatoes. Soul food.

–          I love hugging Kena and Emily. Such tiny women. But such amazing hugs.

–          I love it when a President appears human in public and makes mistakes. It makes them seem more real. More believable. And some of the mistakes make me think they know something I don’t.

–          I love not knowing fact from fiction. Even better, I love having debates like I did today about Santa Claus being real, and knowing I am right, and not antagonistically.

–          I love knowing that when I write what I write, and afterwards when I fall asleep, that someone a hundred years or more years in the future – or past – will read it and respond by the time I wake up.

–          I love seeing Amy, my third wife, walk around naked. She hates it, which isn’t why I enjoy watching her do it, I just enjoyed seeing her feel comfortable enough around me to do it.

–          I love not knowing what to get my own father for Christmas. Never, not once had I really ever pegged him.

–          I love superglue. The most amazing invention for practical jokes. Why the manufacturers of the stuff can never make an easy to use bottle that doesn’t get on your hands is beyond me. I sometimes wonder if they are playing a practical joke on the practical joker.

–          I love Thai Food. Especially Malee’s in Scottsdale. Amazing food I tell you.

–          I love, Jesus. I just realized. I mean, that isn’t I love Jesus, that was a Jesus I just realized every thought I have actually creates that reality, whether it’s real or make believe, it becomes real somewhere. Trippy, trippy, trippy. . What made me think of it was Slashdot.org posited the question ‘Should a Mars Colony Be Independent?’, and I immediately thought ‘Oh definitely yes,’ but then moments later my thoughts came back to me and I realized how quickly that ‘civilization’ can move off on its own timeline, and without a home or country they belong to (and allegiances), they could very quickly forget who they are and where they came from (once you understand time, you’ll understand this), and they can quite literally be pitted against Earth in war. So I immediately, not five seconds after that thought, then thought “Well then, perhaps having responsibility to abide by one nation laws isn’t such a bad thing after all.” . Then moments later I thought “well crap, there’s no variety there, and what if they want to develop their own laws and/or come up with and against things that just flat out are not occurring on Earth?”… Quite the conundrum this question presents. So to answer the question, I say ‘maybe’. Anyways I digress, off the jesus topic altogether, but still kind of a profound revelation of competing thoughts…

–          I love the smell of a clean vagina. Digging my nose and tongue as deep into it as I can go. It’s a healthy obsession.

–          I love beef jerky. Labia made me think of that. But still a love in itself.

–          I love seeing things others can’t. Such as those funky robots in the Mojave desert and Sedona. Conversely. It drives me nuts knowing others can see things I cant.

–          I love creating Easter eggs in my computer code. They also make excellent back doors.

–          I love driving fast. Nuff said, right?

–          I love taking a plane to 10,000 feet and then pointing the nose straight down. Jeff Kleinman’s kid and wife hates it when I do that though.

–          I love farting in a crowded elevator or a small conference room with a business meeting going on. Nothing is more pleasing. I look forward to one day doing the same thing in the turbolifts of a real stars ship.

–          I love dogs. Even though I think they are using humans as pets and are substantially more intelligent than they let on. I’m convinced Fiona can mess with human’s minds and lead them to see things that aren’t there. Spencer, I have no doubt she’s the one who has manipulated your mind into this new religious mindset. Blind obedience. Do you come running or drool when she rings the bell?

–          I love standing behind doors at nighttime and jumping out to scare my ex wives and other assorted people in my life.

–          I love masturbating thinking gorgeous women in an alternate reality are watching me, enjoying it, and potentially paying for the show. I dunno how I would react if I actually started seeing this with my own eyes.

–          I love sex in public.

–          I love hearing Lisa Milot’s voice. Dunno why, but she soothes me.

–          I love being held.

–          I love knowing space and time travel are real and happen all the time.

–          I love having time to relax and breathe, unmedicated, for the first time in my life, and to write, write about what I love, play games, and drink coffee and watch gorgeous women sometimes clad in next to nothing walk through the Starbuck’s all day long. Sure, the set up and tear down of camp and having to carry all my belongings with me sucks, but the sleep is the best I have ever had in my entire life and I’ve never felt more confident in my life to say and do precisely as I please. It’s oddly liberating.

And for future loves:

–          I love knowing that one day, the movie Jumper will have inspired my mind as it’s inspired me to allow me to teleport inside a bank vault and take what I need. That I will be able to have a pimped out custom house built in Arizona (complete with a waterfall and stream running through it), a serviced apartment in Hong Kong and another in New York that I simply pay cash, no questions asked to the owner of the place. I love knowing I will be able to kick it on surfing the beaches of Hawaii at noon, then teleport to London to have a nightcap with the drunks there, then teleport to Thailand to have authentic thai food before teleporting home – wherever I feel like sleeping that day. I love knowing this world wants that. Needs it.

–          I love messing with people’s minds. Reprogramming them. Deprograming them. Perhaps driving them insane in the process by doing it so much.

–          I love the idea of kidnapping gorgeous women to reprogram as sex slaves. Creating a harem. And then hiring a small jet to take us all over the world, especially Thailand where I can sell their services. No condoms allowed. And I sample all the wares.

–          I love the idea of creating real Borg. No, not fake crap, but real Borg to take over other planets. You know, one of these days when I am bored with this planet.

–          I love the idea of watching a terminator war first hand. Then leaning my head out the window of the house that is now vacant, and saying “DAMMIT will you keep the noise down out there so I can sleep for tonight?” and everyone obeys. Cuz you’re all freaking robots and that’s just cool as shit.

–          I love the idea of playing practical jokes across space and time on people who aren’t aware of the nonlinear nature of space and time.

In any case. That’s about it for now.

I have no doubt I will be back later.

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