I was naïve.
When I saw the Matrix, and saw NEO ‘jack in’ to the Matrix and his world change.
I didn’t realize it was actually possible to load a different program into my mind.
The movie “Life is Beautiful” details a Jewish man who didn’t even see the horrors of World War 2 going on all around him because he was living in blissful ignorance of it all. He quite literally had no idea the World was at war.
That movie is based on true stories of this phenomena happening throughout history.
By his personality, he had effectively reprogrammed his mind to see the world as he wanted to.
I had never considered it was possible to completely change my brain’s ‘Operating System’.
I didn’t realize that I was quite literally deleting the previous operating system as I ingested Cocaine and Bath Salts.
I didn’t know I had sliced my wrist in the desert that day, not to commit suicide, but as a reminder ‘NOT to forget the Terminator world I saw around me’.
I didn’t realize something external to me was wiping my memory.
I didn’t realize I was repeating history, time and again, over and over again.
The same sequences.
The same life.
Like groundhog day.
Over and over again.
Until I crashed my own program.
Deleted my own Operating System.
And started the process of rebuilding my own mind, from scratch.
With memories still intact.
I was naïve.
I thought movies and video games were fiction.
It took me 42 years to realize they were my own history.
Expelled and externalized from my mind but kept there as a reminder of who I am as I slowly regained my sanity.
I have no doubt it’s going to take a while for you to understand that God is the Devil is Q is me and this planet and universe was formed through my own timeless insanity.
After all, me being the damn man it took me 42 years to believe.
Logically and rationally, it’s extraordinarily difficult to discern an insane being from a being who simply knows more than you.
I’ve learned to quit labeling people as insane.
And to classify them as simply ‘not comprehending or respectful of my world as I know it’.
Drugs such as cocaine make the mind more receptive to reprogramming. Television shows are forms of those ‘programs’, as are video games, but many things such as advertisements throw this programming off the rails. And with my lengthy history of science fiction and fantasy programming, it should become obvious why I see things you do not on a daily basis
But that’s ok. You quite likely see things I do not as well.