I have always had a love for theme parks.
Growing up a stone’s throw away from Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm, I have fond memories of spending numerous summers getting to know every ride, inside and out, and figuring out the magic of how each one worked.
I grew up 16 miles away from Knott’s Berry Farm in Anaheim, California, where a portion of the park was devoted to ‘old west themes’, complete with a ghost mine ride that was seriously spooky and of course the waterfall. Knott’s was also an original location of a gravitational anomaly similar to The Mystery Spot in Eureka, California, where bottles and balls roll uphill, an effect which has disappeared over time and is now referred to as a perspective based illusion. I can assure you it is not an illusion!
And Disneyland. What amazed me about Disneyland was how conceptually space age it felt and not just that – but how much I was utterly blown away on trying to figure out how they could elongate the primary room as if it was being warped in space and time in the Haunted Mansion. How could they make the weather feel so incredibly different with Tom Sawyer island – so much cooler – in the middle of the theme park yet the rest of the park was blazingly hot… And how could they get those little people in the Adventures through Inner space???
And was that the real Abraham Lincoln who everyone else thought was merely a robot giving a speech?
My little Q mind reeled at the possibilities with this marvel in technology.
Ever since then, I have thought.. Besides an adult based theme park based on sex and whatever else came to mind – what other kinds of theme parks would I create?
That is, should I ever get my fortune back, and before I launch a Borg invasion of other planets (in my todo list), what I will do is create at least two new amusement/theme parks.
The first theme park I would create would be in the Heart of Texas, and will be named “Betelgeuse”.
Why that name? Because.
Situated between Austin, Texas and San Antonio, Texas, Betelgeuse would sit on a plot of land that’s 5 miles in diameter, and will be a massive circular theme park containing within it in a seven pointed ‘sheriff’s star’.
Here’s a rudimentary image of the overall design:
Within the ‘star tips’, there will be 7 unique ‘themed’ areas, with planned obsolescence in mind for each area with the exception of the entry corridor, similar to Disneyland.
The initial themes for the park will be based on Fantasy and Science Fiction and the 6 primary areas of the park (contained in the star area) will be:
- An “Avatar” movie based area, clearly with James Cameron’s consent, where plants and animals and environmental conditions mirror that which is seen in the movie “Avatar”. This area will feature roller coasters, aquariums, and rides as well as sight seeing and tours all based James Cameron’s magnificent tour-de-force in the Avatar movie, up to and including the giant blue people from the movie itself.
- A “Jurassic World” world based area, based on concepts from the movies, but in addition feature very real plant and animal life from the Cretaceous Period.
- A “Terminator” world area, featuring a post-apocalyptic robotic world with real life nuclear scars where humans exist but largely in captivity. Here we’ll see nightmarish conditions of post-apocalyptic world devastated by nuclear war, and the facilities the robots might actually be leveraging against humans. This area will be FIRMLY be rated ‘R’. Rides will include future looks of the advancement of Terminators into a Cybernetically enhanced Borg like future, a roller coaster ride through a Borg Cube, journey through a human as nanoprobes placed in the eye. Real life Terminators walking down the street in this area. And more. It’s a harder edged and potentially nightmarish area in a theme park and intended to demonstrate science and technology gone awry, and certainly not intended for the kids.
- A “Superheroes” world area, based on a Metropolis feel, featuring a world where you, too, can not just watch superheroes, but be one yourself. You’d go here to see Superman save the day, or Galactus be defeated trying to consume a world, Iron Man shoot electric arcs out his hands, or the Flash run at the speed of light around you. The goal for this area is to leverage advanced technology to creatively provide the observer not just ‘illusions’ to see feats of levitation, super strength, and more – but to also allow the observer to become the one performing the feats themselves leveraging engineering creativity and technology.
- A “Doctor Who” based world area, where every ride demonstrates dilation of time and scale and ‘bigger on the inside’ technology. A ride might make you an ant seeing humans walk above you, another ride leveraging holographic technology you can interact with might make you see real people moving in ultra slow motion, and another ride might have you traveling back and forth through time – with sights, sounds, feels, and smells ,but not just on a screen or in a car, but physically on foot walking through areas across space and time. Go on a real live ride through time and space in a real TARDIS. And more, so much more.
- A “Star Trek” world area, featuring an environment and world that looks straight out of the latest Star trek movies. A ride could be a rare walk through as a ‘quality assurance inspector’ of a life sized Starship Enterprise as it’s under construction. Another ride could be a shuttle pod ride to Deep Space 9. Another ride you are training in a Kobayashi simulator and being tested by Starfleet. And so on, and so on.
- A “Worlds of Warcraft” world area, featuring realistically sized versions of Undercity, Stormwind and Stratholme!, where you can buy, eat, drink in settings that are flat out of this world. Rides would include Griffon rides between locations, a variety of rides and sightseeing through instance dungeons such as Blackrock Spire and Gnomeregan, and real life magic!
Each area will contain advanced climate control technology which will quite literally alter the climate, weather, clouds and rain – including smells – based on the area being represented.
The entry ‘corridor’ will have a Southern California theme and distinctly American feel to it, with marketing material and promotional tie ins to other amazing places that inspired me to think of this such as Disneyland, Knott’s berry Farm, Universal Studios, Hollywood, and more. The goal is to provide a unique experience that won’t compete with these amazing places.
ALL of the ‘points’ of the stars will feature uniquely architected pyramids honoring various regions of the world I’d like to see their culture grow stronger with. America will be the entry star (which is slightly inset) – and will be a walk through pyramid to enter the park. In clockwise order, following the bottom ‘point’, will be Romania’s castle based on the legend of Dracula and Transylvania, and will feature a mini area which would be expected to be a ‘hit’ during Halloween. Rotating clockwise from there would be a Greek castle, with a miniature area devoted to honoring Greek culture and the Gods and mythology of the ancient Greek era. Rotating clockwise from there might New Zealand – if they don’t mind adopting a Lord of the Ringish type of culture and presentation with their pyramid and mini area. The other two pyramids would be up for public vote, but Mayan and Egyptian culture would be eliminated from the running.
At the top of each pyramid would be a portal – which instantly teleports the traveler(s) to the respective country for each pyramid. This technology will be developed from existing Quantum Teleportation technology currently functioning in labs across America to teleport humans great distances to the country of origin.
The food for each area will be related to the area you’re in, with some commercial chains such as McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken uniquely themed for the particular area they are in. There will also be exclusive tie ins with upscale restaurants such as Ruth’s Chris steakhouse, as well as importing of various Scottsdale, Arizona cuisine choices such as Thai food favorite Malee’s, as well as Pita Jungle. There will also be an Outback Steakhouse on the premises which will serve awesomely unhealthy cheese fries with loads of real bacon and ranch it.
The outer ring of the theme park will be the world’s largest aquarium, featuring naturally occurring coral reefs being ecologically threatened , and also featuring whales, sharks, and genetically engineered fish as well as genetically re-engineered dinosaurs. On water excursions would be available as long as the fishies agreed to play nice, as well as some diving. Jetskis and other personal aquatic devices would not be permitted to preserve the state of the aquarium.
Two quantum levitated rails will be made available to reduce noise levels to nothing, one submerged 10 feet below the water line which will be entirely transparent and allow viewing of the aquatics and reefs. The other rail line, running under the water entirely will feature 5 miles*PI worth of unique underground formations and fauna and caverns custom designed by Imagineer and ride designer Tim, who’s work can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/user/ImagineeerTim/videos
As areas become outdated and as times change, the park would change to accommodate newer and more interesting concepts involving science fiction and fantasy.
The goal of this cutting edge technological park is to open it by February of 2020.
A final note: The “Lone Star” on Texas will be clearly visible from space.