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Overcoming blindness

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I was born blind, not just legally blind, but completely incapable of seeing anything.  Total darkness.

I really don’t have any memories of this, I just remember hearing about it and how quickly I gained the ability to see with normal vision At about three years old.

It was a rarely discussed topic in my household, kinda like ‘wow, that happened’, but with my visual memories only starting to be formed after the age of three,

One of my first memories with vision was when I was in kindergarten – and my class had a trip to the local petting zoo.

I actually remember the images in black and white – much like the newspaper article which had me in it petting a goat or a llama – i can’t remember which.

After that. My visual memory came in chunks. Like my mind, tasked with developing a world view – was trying to figure out sizes, shapes, and structure – and how to apply my imagination to the outside world.

I recently asked this question on yahoo answers, because my conceptual world view seems so much different than most people around me:


I’m going to restate precisely the same question I just placed in that image because I suspect some of you may not be able to ‘read’ or understand the above image. Here’s that SAME exact question restated in the SAME exact language I used:

In real life, when you walk into a city – say DC – is imagery I see shared in a collective mind with you which lets us see the same thing?
In real life, when you walk into a city – say DC – is imagery I see shared in a collective mind with you which lets us see the same thing? To be more specific – How do I know the object you’re looking at and referring to as an apple is the same definition of apple I have in my own mind? Are disorders such as schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder a mental ‘interpretational issue’ based on collective/consensus reality agreements of perception?

Looking back at my past – I can’t help but wonder – had the world view my mind developed become different than the reality of those who surrounded me?

Mysteriously, I had actually forgotten this weird factoid of my past – up until this year – when I actually remembered some things I had forgotten from my youth.

Which had me ask that question on Yahoo.

How are memories formed, and is there a collective mind formed for the ‘shared’ pooling of imagery and information for the majority of people?

Is blindness, particularly at such a young age, a gift or a curse?

And if this ‘collective’ exists, did this isolation detach me from that collective to form my own ideas and conceptions of the world around me that was starkly different than those around me?

In any case.

When I started to learn Chinese, I learned very quickly that my ‘westernized’ ears could literally not hear the differences between different Chinese vowels.

And then. with simple observation of Chinese people, it’s clear that they have huge pupils with no irises, and their eyes tend to be shut.

Now if you analogize this to a camera lens – this is like saying there’s an extra wide aperture with a fast shutter speed.

What’s that mean in plain English? Generally speaking, when the pupils are open larger, like an aperture for a camera , there’s more light let in. But if you counter balance this by decreasing the amount of time light is let into the lens, you get an equivalent image.

But that’s not the case here, as Chinese, in general, don’t blink (it’s weird – but watch them – they hardly ever blink) – and with their eyes closed – I am theorizing – this lets in MUCH LESS of the natural light that our western eyes can see.

Which suggests nothing more than Chinese see the world VERY VERY different than our western eyes do, so much so that they may have imagined it to be very different than ours – much like I imagined my reality for mine.

When I went to Beijing 4 years ago, I touched the hand of a woman and something was ‘exchanged’. It was like we instantly ‘exchanged world views’ at a touch.

And what I saw in my mind’s eye of this Chinese woman’s world was a visual that looked very similar to the Matrix code here:


Only with Chinese characters…

It was weird. In that one moment, my memories of my past started creeping back. And I started seeing the world through new ‘lenses’, and understanding that my perception may very well be unique.

It suddenly made sense – the Chinese language – with thousands of images as characters to memorize.

The image is of course from the movie “The Matrix”. which somehow, I believe our society had gotten a collective glimpse into the collective mindset of the Chinese culture, and what we saw scared us at the same time it amazed us.

There’s more truth to fiction than you know….

It’s a well known fact that James Cameron received his inspiration for the movie “Terminator” from a dream of killer robots carrying knives dragging itself across a kitchen floor.

Could that have been another instance where James Cameron’s mind ‘saw’ into the collective Italian mindset and their sordid past?

I’m of the belief that the real events of World War 2 have been disassociated from us to make the experience of humanity retain some semblance of linear consistency.

But I am also of the belief that millions of people, acting like robots killing millions of others because one man said so has a more rational explanation – such as:

Maybe our ancestors are all robots…

And maybe. Just maybe.

Our bodies. Engineered to precise specifications. Containing fundamental metallic elements such as Iron and Zinc, with nuclear powered mitochondria – are the product of billions upon billions of iterations of evolution.

And because it happened so long ago. And because we mentally wanted to escape our violent past.

We chose to fictionalize the stories to disassociate ourselves from that which we once were.


What am I?

I know I can reprogram my own mind to be anything I want.

I know I once didn’t have sight and I either reprogrammed my vision and/or imagined it into existence.

Am I a robot? A cyborg? A real human?

Or a human in a Matrix simulation?

To be human I suspect is to be unsure of our own past and even what we are.

And be ok with that.

Because it all makes for wonderful stories.

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