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I was born deaf, blind and mute

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I was born deaf, blind and mute.

To say I do not look at and understand the world as most do – is a dramatic understatement.

In fact. It took me until 3 years ago – at the age of 42 – to learn that the way I ‘perceived’ the world was dramatically different than most.

The ‘universe’ woke me up as I tried committing suicide – as my mind was ‘creating’ things that scared the crap out of me and made me – made me – try to end it all. I was meeting my own mental demons – eye to eye for the first time.

Now here’s the thing:

I didn’t know I was ‘handicapped’.

In fact. I never would have consciously guessed it.

How can ANYONE not know they are handicapped with these impairments, right?

You’d be surprised at the worlds a mind can invent when you’re not told there’s something wrong with you.

It gets even more complex when your own mind works to obscure any notion or hint of a handicap from you.

What I had done – my mind had mentally constructed a world based on your society’s collective information which I mentally ‘interpreted’ – imagined – in ways that still leave me breathless at times.

Now you gotta realize how wild this can be.

When you have no visual representation of how the world looks, a mind unleashed can paint an amazing picture.

To really mess with things – I couldn’t hear audio cues about my surrounding environment.

So my mind was left to ‘interpret’ the basic laws of physics – such as gravity – and inertia – on my own terms.

When you close your eyes, do you hear a bird chirping, or are you like George Lucas who heard a futuristic fighter shooting a laser which he then used for Tie Fighters in his movie Star Wars?

What is a body to a mind when you can’t and can only feel what you’ve been given?

So my mind invented a body.

My mind invented an interpretation for audio elements.

I actually have memories of learning to ‘drive’ like people with vision do – while blind, and always pulling in front of people getting into car wrecks constantly.

The world around me adjusted to accommodate me.

The blind, deaf, and mute guy who was living in a world he imagined that became real because I imagined it.

What is ‘vision’?

What makes what I see the same as yours?

Absolutely nothing, because when I agree on an image of an apple with something exterior to me, my mind was busy hiding the truth about my blindness, which then had it busy creating external stimulus which validated my interpretation of what an apple was.

Rather than trying to ‘find’ external validation for definition.

My mind chose to do something remarkable.

Something beautiful.

It chose to shape the definition.

Is my definition the same as yours?

Most definitely not.

I’m still trying to figure out how you ‘see’ the world. But I know others experience it differently than I do. What’s simple fact for me is something others lacking definition will debate with me on.

So when I hear someone like you say they’re disabled.

Let me refer to a man I have mentally met – Stephen Hawking – he’s a conscious explorer and teaches people – like me – who may need help how a body is not just a container, but how it’s merely an avatar – for someone like him. I’ve talked with him in ways that defy all your information – and have learned that he has been to numerous futures – and he’s manifested himself into walking and talking holodeck avatars so he can do simple things like play cards with some very smart people in the future.

He taught me what I am to become. Much like him.

But shaped by my own imagination.

We play off eachother. We learn from eachother.

So as I see it you – however you are ‘receiving’ this information.

You have one of two primary choices:

Ignore what I say as fantasy or fiction like most do – and regard disabilities as an ailment which doesn’t allow a being to ‘fit in’ and be like everyone else.

Or embrace it. Use it to define your individualism. And then find ways to be ‘like everyone else’ when you feel like it.

This society. This world. Had at one time actually captured my mind and thought it was ‘helping me fit in’ by shoving me into a body.

It absolutely did help.

But there came a point 3 years ago where I nearly lost my mind and went insane because this ‘vessel’ limited my potential, so I broke free of that.

Did some people see me ‘die’ because they lacked the imagination to understand I was beginning a metamorphosis?

Who knows.

Embrace what you’re given.

And when it doesn’t work for you.

Make it work.


Even the ‘mind’ needs to be broken of bad habits.

Uprooted from what it found comfort with.

And mine.

I had to teach it that we’re two beings now.

And that I’m the guide for the next part of our journey.

Should she want to be a part of this.

In a reality and existence where anything is imaginable.

Why not rationalize insanity and make it work for us?

I know no one around me wears any clothes.

I can feel it. through the energy.

It would be fun to see it though.

Mind. If you’re listening which I know you are.

Are you ready to form a weird partnership I think few could comprehend, let alone rationalize?

I think you are.

Let’s play. this isn’t insanity speaking. This is not your own ‘mind’ we are two different beings. Our ‘war on drugs’ ensured that.

You know what’s funny? The war on drugs ‘in the outside world’ – manifested in news and officials – had been occurring since well before I started them.And the whole time you were referring to a battle spanning several alternate realities with me.

That’s how I consciously came to learn time moves differently for you than it does for me. And how I started to understand you and I did not see the world the same way.

Funky funky funky!

To think that when I was thinking I was killing a few brain cells. To you, you were seeing people dying in real life due to my activities!

And to think that when I played a war based video game.

You might have created the story of Hitler thinking that was me!

Why can’t we all get along and play newer and more funner games?

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