In November of 2011, right around the time of my 42nd birthday, I was undergoing a personal transformation – an emergence – the likes of which I had never really come to expect nor understand.
I had left Scottsdale, Arizona – after a series of bizarre events.
I was traveling down the freeway – in Scottsdale, Arizona late on a Friday evening – I sped up – and everyone ‘sped up’ in unison, as if I was the lead bird in a flock of birds.
As I approached 100 miles per hour, and EVERYONE would speed up to catch me as I passed them, I realized this was just a little more than idle hallucination.
That night, I ‘saw things’ on my ceiling. The spinning fan at night turned into a a fish being eaten by a larger fish being eaten by something bizarre looking being eaten by something bizarre looking being eaten by a fish – it just kept going.
The walls – it was as if something was inside them.
What is a bad drug trip? I asked myself.
I couldn’t shake the feeling the world was trying to tell me a story about something I needed to understand.
Friends. Family. Became utterly insistent.
“You are hallucinating. It’s not real. It’s the drugs.”
But there was more to these experiences than idle hallucination.
They were too… Timed.
Demonstrative of a something I felt like I needed to understand.
The next day, Saturday, I took off to head south to Mexico for the weekend.
I went to Gila Bend – – a route I had taken hundreds of times before on my way to Mexico – and the turnoff was simply was not there.
I drove back and forth through the small city of Gila Bend that day, yet the turnoff south – just did not exist.
It simply was not there.
So I thought. Ok. Maybe I am missing it.
I doubted myself.
So I drove towards San Diego.
Thinking “I will take another route south”.
But there weren’t any.
Not a single turnoff went south.
I drove all the way to San Diego, on an interstate I had driven down many times before – and not one turnoff heading towards Mexico was there.
It was as if Mexico didn’t exist.
I wasn’t ready to believe that.
About an hour outside of San Diego, I pulled off to the side of the road, on a dirt highway to watch the sunset – and gain a little altitude to get a good view of the desert – to see if there was a turn off I was missing…
As the sun set. Looking down the dirt road.
I saw the older wooden telephone poles jumping from side to side of the dirt road I was looking down.
It was about then – I started to apply the unique science fiction and fantasy education I grew up with -and I came to conclude – these aren’t hallucinations.
This is temporal phenomena. I am literally seeing alternate realities, swapping into and out of my visual frame of reference.
One reality and version of Earth has the phone poles on the left side.
One reality and version of Earth has the phone poles on the right side.
One reality doesn’t have them at all.
Another has them further away from the road.
It was no wonder my mind was screwed up. It was not coping with what I was experiencing in the world around me.
I sat for two hours that day, watching the sun set, and watching the landscape around me dance through time.
In one moment I saw what looked like an ancient civilization. In another I saw an old car with dust trails. In another I saw the desert had turned tropical with big trees that defied description. All faint – all cloudy – like a weird dream even.
As I left the desert that day to head into San Diego.
I started to get hungry.
I was driving my Lexus RX450 Hybrid – which had been updated with the newest maps. And as I drove into town, I had it look up the closest In and Out.
I went to the location it had pinpointed on the map.
And nothing was there.
Had ever been there.
It was the side of a mountain.
I shrugged. Japanese innovation isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Could be invalid maps. Or yet another sign I was flipping in between alternate realities and the version of maps in my car simply did not match the world I was traveling in.
That night. I was ‘led’ for lack of better words – to the “Buffet” hotel.
A real dodgy fleabag kind of a place.
Kind of like the man himself.
That night, I had the weirdest dream, which made sleep impossible.
Every time I started nodding off. I kept having ‘dreams where my mind was being split into infinite different parts – and I could see my physical body – which would ‘teleport’ into a a huge room and run towards a giant computer system – – but I would die running at it – and moments after another version would appear.
The next day. With a severe lack of sleep – I decided to set course for the Redwoods – the Giant Sequoia’s of Northern California via Los Angeles.
As I drove north of Los Angeles.
A part of me was screaming: “LOOK OUT THERE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SAW IN YOUR DREAM”
It was open land.
The movie “The Terminator” flashed through my mind. It was as if my mind was trying to say – there’s something being hidden – obscured outside of my range of vision – and what I was not seeing was physically out there beyond my perceptory ranges…
I shrugged it off. But this ‘feeling’ kept popping up all over the deserts and highlands surrounding Los Angeles.
I kept driving.
As I drove. I saw the light shift around me.
And in my mind – I saw an image of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs – much younger than I had ever seen them – racing. Bill Gates was in my Lexus RX450 going down this California highway- and I don’t fully remember the car Steve Jobs was in.
It was weird. Like our minds touched in that moment.
And I distinctly remember a young Bill Gates laughing and bouncing around – almost as if he thought he was in a simulation.
Was he thinking my real life was his simulation?
Was this what money afforded him? The ability to use other people’s lives as a simulation?
Was he even aware of this?
Late that night. I checked into another hotel
Again, feeling like I had been ‘led’ to this one too.
I was tired. Beat in fact.
And as soon as I laid down. I heard a noise in the room above me.
“Am I being paranoid? What is going on?”
“It’s the drugs,” I kept telling myself.
But this felt too..
Not like a real drug experience.
It felt too visceral. Too real.
It felt like someone or something was attacking my mind. And as I moved about the room, with the thing floors, I could hear the floor above me creaking under the weight of someone’s footsteps – and no matter where I went in the room – those footsteps invariably followed me upstairs.
Angrily, I walked upstairs. And knocked hard. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but I sure as hell was going to get to the bottom of it.
Whoever it was inside the room, she refused to open the door when I knocked.
Since it was still daytime. I found this a bit odd.
“Hello?” I played it off, “I am looking for someone. Do you know asjhsahsaksjah” as I intentionally kept muffling the name of who I was referring to.
After a couple tries, I walked back down.
The ‘feeling’ of weirdness in my head intensified when I laid down this time.
Now I was pissed. I’d read so many books on science fiction and fantasy, and while I had read about psychics and psychic attacks in fiction, I never thought they could be real.
This was changing my opinion, fast.
I ran upstairs, and knocked HARD on the door this time.
About this time, I could tell I had frightened whoever it was.
And they refused to come out.
I turned, about to leave, and saw – over the railing – a window/rip in time and space – and there I saw the face of a very frightened young woman looking back at me – as if she was in some alternate dimension trying to send me a message.
I turned back around. And knocked even harder.
“Look,. If you don’t answer. I am going to call the police.”
The door opened up quickly.
It was the girl I had seen floating in the rip of space and time over the railing.
She looked – like hell. Worse than I am sure how I felt.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re doing up here. But I would appreciate it if you quit messing with my mind!,” I said.
She didn’t say anything.
“Please stop,” I said, and walked away.
She closed the door.
I walked over to Subway after that, figuring I would wait until night fell to go to sleep.
As I stood waiting at Subway – a lady walked in.
But she didn’t move like a lady at all.
It was almost as if she slinked… like a snake even – her body moved and contorted in ways that just defied movement I have even seen gymnasts move in.
It was inhuman. As if she didn’t have bones in her body.
It sent chills up my spine.
The shit happening at the hotel room calmed down that night.
But I still didn’t sleep well.
The next day. I headed through Yosemite.
When I was young. I had gone there numerous times with my family.
But this time was different.
It was like I was in a completely different world.
The granite walls were straight up. there was no ‘view’ of El Capitan as I remembered it, and I didn’t even see an El Capitan…
Not only that. But all the trees were tiny.
The Giant Redwoods I had remembered playing on as a child.
Just were not there.
Something in my mind told me
“This is the distant past you are looking at.”
Somehow that made sense.
But I could hear my friends and family saying “It’s just drugs”
Last I checked, drugs don’t provide a trip through space and time.
“Yell” the voice in my head told me.
Like I was being guided.
I yelled. And despite the granite cliffs surrounding me.
There was no echo.
“What is an echo? The voice told me.”
It took me a while to figure that one out.
I started driving through Yosemite. And the voice said:
“El Capitan was created at a later time by a nuclear bomb strike right in the middle of the park, which carved out half the granite mountain”
Was I taking a first hand guided trip through history that few get?
That night. I drove to Las Vegas.
Where I tried contacting my friends. Joe and Amy Shay. I had run out of money, and thought I’d relax at their place as I recovered.
But there was something different about Las Vegas.
Like it was dead.
A feeling I had gotten when arriving in Phoenix a while before – after returning from Fort Meade in 2003.
The voice in my head returned:
“Do you think cities are alive?”
I looked for a camping spot.
A place where other ‘homeless people’ might hang out.
I don’t know why a part of me was trying to be homeless.
I found a spot right next to the strip.
A man was there with his shopping cart.
We talked for a while.
A part of me felt like I was talking to myself.
My psyche splitting.
He told me he was a miner.
And that he was in California with the Gold Rush.
I produced a copper ball i carried around for good luck – that was no bigger than a quarter of an inch round.
“Let me see that,” he exclaimed.
I gave it to him.
“Wow. This is 65000 kilograms he said. That’s worth a great deal of money,” he said.
It was the first time in my own life I had been learning to listen to perspective rather than dismiss them as insanity.
For it was that moment I realized that mass is not the same as weight and volume, and that it was quite possible that he could be entirely accurate with his statement if I was flitting about in time.
“Why are you here?,” I asked him.
“I own that hotel,” he said.
“Which hotel?,” I responded.
I was admittedly a little reluctant to believe this.
But I played along.
“The Four Seasons. I own it. If you want a place to stay. Just walk up to the front door and tell them I sent you. They will let you in.”
I walked by that hotel.
And thought sincerely about walking up and asking for a room – because the homeless guy recommended me to the hotel.
But I kept walking.
A part of me wasn’t ready to believe that anything is possible in this reality, despite the hard evidence I had been receiving.
That’s a problem I have since addressed and resolved.
Four Seasons is a wonderful true Five Star Hotel which caters to the elite around the world. I first became acquainted with it by staying with my new wife (at the time) Lisa Milot (Lisa Gregory) – in Maui, Hawaii – on our Honeymoon in 1995. I paid $425 a night for 4 nights there. In that time, Jamie Lee Curtis was staying at the room next to mine, I ran into her a couple times, and finally I couldn’t help but approach her and ask to shake her hand in a gift shop in the airport.She literally became fearful – her ‘security’ guard jumped in front of me as I approach – to which he said ‘she doesn’t talk to anyone’ – which had me thinking ‘jesus – does she think I’m a terminator or something?’It was weird. I backed off – went back to my Lisa – and told her what happened.A memory I attribute – in part – by my stay at the Four Seasons hotel – of which we didn’t actually see much of the hotel room itself. But an experience I am nonetheless thankful of, understanding they may very well have played a role in ‘that event’. And To Jamie: I wasn’t going to ask for an autograph. I was going to shake your hand and thank you for entertaining me in Trading Places and True Lies. You were wonderful. I still think you’re a wonderful entertainer. But as a person in real life, you clearly have issues. Don’t we all?
In any case. If that man in Las Vegas was a hallucination and is a reflection of my mind. I “acquired” the Four Seasons Hotel in Las Vegas today.To make it so where that man was not telling a lie.And since I cannot go back in time to prove that that homeless man did not own that hotel. And since I wouldn’t remember who he was for the life of me.I am left to believe he did own it.In fact.If I was having hallucinations.I’m out to prove he is a figment of my imagination and he did own the Four Seasons and that my mind was actually ‘seeing the future’ of what I was going to do.And I lost out on not trying to get a room that night.
Thank you all for the memories.Joe and Amy.I love you both. And while I know you don’t fully understand what’s happening to me and who I am anymore. I ask you – as friends – don’t judge me. I didn’t like who I was before. It really is that simple. And I realized that unless I found and discovered me.For as weird as I can be.
I wouldn’t find a relationship like yours.Which let’s be fair. When Joe experiences back pain. So does Amy.That’s just plain weird.:-)