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Unbecoming a vampire

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We have all had them, right?

The fantasy of being a vampire.

But let’s be honest with eachother.

Between the weird nighttime hours you have to keep, and the fact that you’re now in the majority but STILL have to hide who you are from those pesky humans, immortal life can be a chore, right?

To compound matters, real human blood being a scarcity, typically requiring enormous resources to pay for, and that ‘synthetic blend  they package as “Vegetable Juice” otherwise known as V8 – which tastes absolutely horrid – but where are your real options for sustenance?What has science really done for you?Unfortunately, there’s absolutely nothing that can be done about your immortality. You knew what you were getting when you signed those papers.
But when was the last time vampires have changed?And with change, I mean – evolved?Let’s reach back a bit. Jesus, being the first recorded vampire, required that you eat skin and drink blood in his memory as you knelt at the altar.  With this, we know that vampires haven’t really changed in at least 2000 years.Sekhmet and Ra – in 2900 BC – mixed beer with ‘red dye’. Erhem *cough* erhem *bullshit* *erhem* vampires.In any case. We know – through documented history – that vampire culture ain’t done no changing (ain’t a word in the dictionary now, just FYI) – in literally 5000 years. Now ever since Abraham Lincoln (reference: Abraham Lincoln. Vampire Hunter) went on his holy crusade against vampires, at least here in America – vampires have been unwelcome, publicly at least, for about 160 years. Vlad Tepes (Dracula – who lives in Transylvania) launched a counterattack – and commissioned reality shows such as Trueblood and the Twilight Series to make vampires…  seem cooler than they really were. But Vlad – missed the mark. He wanted society to change, but didn’t want to change himself. Resultingly. Vampire culture has stagnated. Their food supply is dwindling.And humans. In a subconscious bid to self-preserve – have created a defense system to counteract the predation – and are becoming sentient zombies known as Borg. With the only food source available to vampires being hunted to near extinction – Vampires are being forced to change their culture – or die themselves.What’s a vampire to do?If you’re a vampire. Have I got a deal for you.First and foremost to understand about being a vampire is this:You are indoctrinated – programmed – to your lifestyle and food source through millenia. Now I could get into what caused this. But this will flat out go way over your head. You’re just not intelligent enough to comprehend this. Yet. So think of your lifestyle as being addicted to a drug.
Only – typical drugs addicts are addicted to their drug of choice over a a period of years. Not quite literally centuries. Blood is a source of information and a source of energy.Now with my technology. It is possible to reprogram your mind – and body – to alter your dependency on this food source. At first this is accomplished by altering your addiction to focus on natural forms of the same nutrients you’re being provided – by including tomatoes and other red fruits and red vegetables in your diet with red meats.  And over time. You’ll be able to replace these dependencies with other ‘more human’ like equivalents, to provide a long term sustainable diet with absolutely no cravings of ‘the red stuff’.I know, I make it sound easy, right?Well let me tell you firsthand, it’s a bitch!Because the toughest part for you will be the education associated with your transformation. Why is that?Do you know how I stated that you wouldn’t be able to comprehend what I said?What was your knee jerk reaction to that?Let me guess. Was it something along the lines of “I have centuries of existence and experience behind me, you wouldn’t know the first thing about existence you petty little human”.What if I told you I’ve been in your shoes?I won’t get into detail about how bewildering it can be to think you know everything and actually have something new thrown at you.But let me assure you. Not only is it possible.

But you, too, can be a daywalker.

And mix and mingle as if you were human.


Despite not being one.

Did you know the brain’s like a muscle?

Your personal evolution may just need a uniquely skilled  trainer.

And your freedom may require it.

Are you ready to be free?

Training is NOT a one size fits all equation.

With centuries of memorable experiences.

Every vampire requires a personalized evolutionary strategy.

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