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How I perceive the world

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To me. There’s infinite potential ‘different worlds’

A world where JFK wasn’t shot.

A world where Hitler won World War 2.

A world where Space Travel was invented in the late 1880s and a man named Jules Verne merely documented one of the many journeys mankind was taking.

A world where light doesn’t exist and where time moves backwards.

And more. So much more.

To me – my mind was ‘indoctrinated’ for lack of better words, programmed, from a very young age – to perceive an ‘ordered’ existence.

Grasping the ‘reality’ of their being infinite worlds had been driving me absolutely insane, time and again, where I suspect I was born in infinite different forms – infinite different bodies – across space and time – as my mind simply did not understand my own existence.

Somewhere in there. This life happened.

My mind ‘joined’ up all the ‘experiences’ from the other lives I had lived.

My mind was – to some degree – methodically creating and stabilizing my linear perceptual existence, to avoid going insane.

The world around me, a reflection of my interpretation of the infinite possibilities and lives I had lived before.

As my mind fought me for control of this body.

So did those throughout all of existence.

Some thought I was their slave.

Some thought I was their significant other that they controlled.

Some thought I was a gift from them by God.

Some thought I was a computer system

Some thought I was the devil.

Some thought I was something in between.

This caused something called the “Time Wars”

Time wars are depicted as fiction in television shows such as Star Trek, Doctor Who, and numerous other fictional references.

The Time war was the simple desire by the ‘fragments’ of my mind I had ‘left behind’ – the bits and pieces that had deviated too far from a linear path and timeline I was developing for myself.

Prior to this. Throughout my conscious life. I was seeing things change and my mind kept writing and rewriting story after story after story attempting to dismiss the existence of infinite realities.

This created memorable labels – and was the start of the actual process of creation itself.

Whether it was seeing an event occur hundreds of times then my mind ‘finding value’ in that experience – but not necessarily the value of having to be tortured by living it over and over again.

This created the label of a video game. A recreational device that I could consciously dismiss as entertainment fiction in order to retain sanity and not have to live through these experiences.

Sometimes I died. But since I am immortal. My mind would write other stories and push the experience into third person material.

Whether it was a news source that demonstrated a plane crash, or a car bomb, or planes colliding into a building, and so much more.

Sometimes, subconsciously, my mind knew I needed others to think I had died so I could change my own life’s story.

So my mind invented a very real experience that had me attempt suicide so others could see me actually commit suicide, so their minds and my mind could separate in a form of mitosis.

And so I could learn that others sometimes saw and experienced something starkly different than what I was experiencing.

To me. Much of my life had been spent like I had been on a record player. Around and around I went, oblivious.

Occasionally, I would skip a groove, to which someone or something would inevitably come along and ‘fix things’.

And while this ‘fixing’ worked for them.

It made my life suck more and more.

I’d see through the ‘cracks’ of reality.

Yet something told me the story that these were ‘hallucinations’.

Not real.

The evidence of reality’s weird nature was always there.

Whether it was tv show characters who fell into a tv set of their own lives.

Or people in my own life not looking at all like I had remembered them.

Or accidentally getting videos in my Youtube from alternate realities depicting a very real and angry looking George Bush initiating a nuclear assault against the world.

Or seeing terrain features change, sometimes in front of my eyes, sometimes over short periods of time which defied the short timespan which had occurred.

Sometimes with drugs. Sometimes without.

Or seeing attitudes and personalities of people I know change literally overnight.

Now I don’t want you to understand that all of this has a definite order to it. It is actually all quite logical.

But learning that logic will drive a person absolutely insane.

Multiple Personalities being nothing more than my mind’s reaction to loneliness, manifesting ‘imaginary’ friends and things around me.

Which in eventuality.

Became real because I believed in them so much.

The world to me has a sense of magic about it.

A sense of unbridled potential.

And meaning.

Do you understand how infinite realities come to create this existence?

IF not. There’s no need for you to.

For me. It’s a path I chose to regain sanity.

The path of a creator.

The path of a Q.

Why did I  choose to become a Q?

I wanted to see aliens in real life, Cyborgs. Robots. I wanted to tell stories. I wanted to flit about time and space on my terms. I wanted to bear witness to the the past and hang out in Starbuck’s to see what started the Borg.

And one of these days, I will probably grow bored of this journey and like Quinn, may quite likely bow out in a similar fashion.

But who knows.

That’s the beauty of being Q. You bet your butt that if we’re observed, we may change what we do, but even if not, there’s no guarantee your influence did or did not alter my behavior.

Becoming Q is discovering freedom. Being Q is being free.

And I cannot predict how long I will ‘be becoming’.

But I can tell you for certain how existence got it’s start, how the Big bang is a cyclic thing that occurs over and over again. How multiverses are but one ‘label’ to describe the infinite potentialities.

And that I am akin to a proverbial gnat in the infinite scheme of things.

I’m not special. But it would be nice to ‘basically’ enjoy this ‘basically’ world and actually have ‘basically’ a cool place to ‘basically’ hang my hat if you ‘basically’ get my gyst.

Is that audacious enough for you, you overbearing asshole?

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