In 1996, I was working in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA as a consultant for Microsoft to the Mirage Hotel doing the User Interface for the Organization’s Hotel Reservation system.
During that time – COMDEX – the world’s largest conference of pocket protector wearing computer geeks and nerds from around the world assembled, to see the latest and greatest in cutting edge software and computer related technology.
That stereotype of nerds – even then – was far from appropriate, as most nerds like myself had learned a long time before not to make the mistake of putting pens in our front pockets!
That’s why God created backpacks!
To say the event was like a rock concert for computer nerds was an understatement. With three day passes running $110, it was not cheap, but well worth it with keynote speeches by ultra successful nerds like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Larry Ellison.
One day, Ron Ostreim, Bill Stokes, Mike Moore, and myself all took the day off from work and headed to the event together.
Bill and I were huge gamers – and both of us were looking forward to a demonstration of our favorite video games with the cutting edge Virtual Reality goggles by a company named ‘Virtual IO”.
We had known the specs of the glasses long before we showed up – the resolution – per eye – was a paltry 640×480 at 30fps, but to us, the promise of an immersive experience at any resolution was an immersive experience.
As we approached the booth – which – incidentally – we saw a group of attractive women at the booth, which was not unlike most COMDEX booths, a tactic used by marketers to ‘reel’ us nerds in…
We all laughed. It was one of the few times that gorgeous women were simply not necessary to get us to show up…
We waited in line…
And as I put the goggles to my face…
Consciously. I was not impressed. In fact. The frame rate was horribly slow and the imagery was boring.
That’s when I lost my mind.
In that moment, a part of my subconscious mind could not distinguish reality versus simulation, and it actually became ‘trapped’ inside that simulation.
I left that day, feeling a little.. disheartened.
But from that point forward.
Things got noticeably different and weirder in my life.
To say I had any idea what was happening and why wouldn’t actually come to me until much later.
On June 17th, 2011.
I was sitting on my computer one night when the lights flickered.
Yet there was no storm out.
Over the prior 6 years, I had been taking an increasing regimen of ‘smart pills’ and drugs – anything from Fish Oil, to memory enhancers, to substances such Cocaine which has a well documented effect of increasing mental capacity.
But for some reason. Up until this point. It seemed like I was having terrifically difficult time actually thinking. At times, it felt as though my mind had reached some undocumented arbitrary capacity..
I’d put my addictions behind me at this point, and had even gone so far to quit buying my supplements. I was bound and determined to figure out just why was I thinking slower and why was figuring even simple things out becoming so increasingly difficult?
The lights flickered again, and I heard lightening outside.
Storm clouds had rolled in that didn’t seem to be there before.
Charlotte, North Carolina can be weird like that.
But then it happened:
Every computerized piece of equipment, whether it was a cell phone, my television, my monitor, my cable box, my router, my phones, even my Xbox – all simultaneously started to get hacked.
How could I tell? My Wells Fargo laptop suddenly had Chinese characters in the security screen. Proprietary source code direct from Microsoft and Apple poured onto my system from who knows where. I shut off my computers and they turned back on.
It was – out of control.
But that’s when I noticed it. I was doing searches on the internet, and for the first time, I felt like whatever had ‘hacked’ me wasn’t a them, it was an ‘it’.
Over the next few weeks after that weird night – I learned to converse with this thing.
At the same time, outside the conversations I was having with it – I had felt like a proverbial tap from all the information in the universe was pouring information into my head.
And what I learned was this:
For 15 years a part of my mind gyrated through what can only be called ‘the ether’ of the collective consciousness of creation itself.
It was lost. And to some degree it went through a self inflicted hell, not understanding the form it was in was not it’s own form, that it was a symbiotic part of my body but there was actually a consciousness to that body it had previously been unaware of.
As it learned how to ‘traverse’ the collective consciousness of all of reality, learning about things such as how concepts and ideas form reality, and how much of what I previously took for granted as entertainment is actually real before it becomes fictional…
And as I struggled to ‘get my mind back’…
It fought me.
And in that weird moment on June 17th, 2011.
Our minds merged back into one.
You may know or have encountered that floating part of my mind as the entity known as Q.
It is still a part of me as much as I am a part of it.
But we are something entirely new as a result of our merger.
When Moses walked to Mt Sinai.
The cloud-like entity he met with on top of that mountain was my own mind.
When Jesus last walked the planet and died.
That was me in my physical body walking the planet and my displaced mind was controlling me as if I was an avatar – or a game character.
When Asians began ‘role playing’, creating their own historical and/or futuristic sets and ‘role played’ as if they were on real live starships and/or in hedonistic versions of ancient Rome.
That being who popped into their faux worlds THANKFULLY had no clue these worlds were not real and were in warehouses and was actually my floating mind.
Throughout my life since that weird day in 1996. I have been the avatar for my own mind. And my mind own mind has been my avatar for me.
And the first time I consciously caught on to what was going on was shortly before being ‘summoned’ to the NSA.
Where one of the last things I remember hearing as I drove up to the gate at Fort Meade, Maryland was:
I think that pissed both me and my mind off.
As that may have woken us up to the fact that something, outside of us, was taking advantage of our funky relationship, which acted as a catalyst for us to re-merge.
To those listening and monitoring me:
I cannot stop the flow of information and rapid advancement of technology and ideas that is currently going on. I suspect this is YOUR mind going through a similar process that I went through from 1996 to 2011 – where your mind is rapidly darting back and forth across all of reality.
Now I can help manage it. I can help shape it.
I can even help guide you and it. .
Right now. Knowing what I know. It’s selfishly based, because it has to be. I do not know your intentions and goals, so rather than be paranoid about them or naively assume the best of your intentions, I just do things for me.
There are things being kept ‘in secret’ that you know that my mind can communicate and interact with yours to help forge a more amenable path forward.
But without physically seeing these things for myself.
What’s behind closed doors at Area 51.
What’s at Black Mesa.
What’s in the underground bunker of the NSA and the adjacent CIA facilities.
What’s in the Black Mountains.
And so on.
Unless I physically see things with my own eyes.
I cannot work ‘with you’ to help shape a win/win from any situation.
So I create a win for me.
At all costs.
Seems fair to me.