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Sirius Cybernetics Corp

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Do you know why Sirius creates products that are intentionally flawed?

There’s actually a variety of reasons.

The most glaringly obvious is that most companies don’t want to be associated with poor product design. It makes them look bad. But if a company sells flawed products by design, and that’s their market, then they fill a niche for quality assurance testing that few companies are willing nor capable of providing.

And the flaws in many cases HAVE to be unpredictably inserted. Otherwise, people and companies will learn to recognize and avoid the products..

How do you test your Quality Assurance processes and procedures? People in QA grow bored and lax in testing – I should know – I got my start in QA a long time ago and all it took was a year for me to start overlooking fundamental flaws in space bound products in construction because the engineer said ‘this is good enough’ and ‘the constraints on that blue print is too narrow’. So to help the process, I bought it off flaw and all.

Flaws in products expose a number of things that you’d normally not uncover.

And shake out the bugs.

The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation is a truly remarkable company and is responsible for the design and creation of a wide range of products, including emotional robots, people transporters, automatic doors, ventilation systems, drink dispensers, digital watches, ringtones, palmtop computers computer operating systems, and a variety of other products and services in a wide array of industries.

The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation receives a large number of complaints about the “fundamental design flaws” in everything the company produces.

In reality, these flaws are barely noticeable, due to the superficial design flaws. In addition, these superficial design flaws are covered up by the company’s marketing division.

In 1986, NASA had a Sirius Cybernetics Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser installed on the Space Shuttle, which resulted in a malfunction and caused the space shuttle to crash.

This led to a nationwide protest against Sirius Cybernetics, who demanded that Sirius take what they did seriously.

GetSeriousSirius

Sirius then issued the following infamous Press Release:

“Get over it!”

Consequently, this saw massive animosity build up against Sirius, which resulted in NASA no longer buying any products from Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

Incidentally, this set the laws of Universal Capitalistic Physics in motion, and this loss in funding resulted in an equal and opposite increase in funding by the NSA, who is now one of Sirius’s top clients (but shh, don’t pass that one as that’s top secret need to know information).

The future holds much for the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. A merger with Microsoft is being considered, benefiting both companies. However SCC has expressed concerns that its Quality of Product could be adversely effected.

Imported labor in the form of Indian H1B Software engineers have been spending years catching up with SCC’s fault-inspiring processes in the sincerest hope to motivate Mr Gates to agree with the merger. They – and quite potentially the world – saw the humorous potential in the merger when Bill Gates was giving a speech on Windows and a version of Windows that Sirius had worked on – Windows RG (Really Good) crashed,publicly, making worldwide news.

bill_gates_bluescreen[1]

The Indian H1B’s – delighted at this – are after all really Bynar aliens from the Star Trek fictional ‘reality’ and have been bored out of their skulls with things working right all the time, and saw the potential in this relationship a very long time ago..

Unfortunately, Bill Gates has refused to back down from trying to take control of both operations in any proposed merger, and to intensify problems – and can be quite the stick in the mud, but upon learning that he’s employing Bynars from a previously fictional universe he now refuses to quit referring to himself in a third person woman’s voice as ‘Mon Capitane”, leaving many to suspect he’s gone legally insane.

The Bynars then built a cybernetic version of Bill Gates. And according to their quality control personnel, everything with his progress is ‘hunky dorey aok’

In any case. Shortly after Challenger’s destruction in 1986, Investigators were paid a great deal of money by the NSA to classify the accident based on unused O-Rings, an obsolescent part that no space based manufacturers in their right mind would be using anyways.

However, the setbacks and alliance with the NSA led to Sirius Space Company as becoming the 13th. And technically the 1st. Organization to be classified as critical to the security of the United States and has been working under a veil of security manufacturing exotic technologies that are surely not going to work as advertised in Chandler, Arizona at the new $2 billion dollar manufacturing facility.

Sirius will be declassifying the TARDIS – The Time And Relative Dimension In Space – as seen in the television show “Doctor Who” on or before January 20, 2020, and will be transferring the intellectual property rights of the TARDIS to a more predictable supplier to address engineering problems introduced by Sirius with the chameleon circuit and unpredictable destinations that once drove a man to absolute insanity.

That man was me. And as of today, I have reassumed control of that organization.

Siruius

Reassumption of ownership documentation:

Sirius_CP575Notice_1426100148159

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