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If I had a billion bucks

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I’d have engineers build me a dildo spaceship. Just to see if they could overcome the obstacles presented by it’s lack of aerodynamicness.

Yes, aerodynamicness is a word. i just added it to the dictionary.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d build a huge house in Scottsdale, Arizona, with a moat, a ski slope with real snow on it and a ski jump over the roof of the house, an airfield to land my customized 737 on right next door, a dungeon with a harem of at least 30 women, and a river running through the house. Oh yeah. A massive game room with virtual reality gear.

IF I had a billion bucks.

I’d buy the Red Rock Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas and add a theme park behind it based on the “Magic”. I’d then invite all my friends to come hang out whenever they wanted, where they’d get free whatever they wanted.

IF I had a billion bucks.

I’d hire Katy Perry a million bucks to be a stripper at my own private strip club.

IF I had a billion bucks.

I would buy a semi, and pimp it out to literally transform at the press of a button to a house with a garage.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d buy the source code to Windows XP. And convert it to a Virtual Reality Operating system to compete with Bill Gates using his own product.

IF I had a billion bucks.

I’d build a real life Starship Enterprise. Only I would name it Starship Phoenix because that just sounds cooler. And I would ONLY hire American CITIZEN programmers ONLY to program a from the ground up operating system for it because well that’s just how I roll.

If I had a Billion bucks.

I would buy Star Trek Online from Perfect World Entertainment. Then change it to something more fun for me.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d pay to create a real life shapeshifting terminator robot who actually enjoyed sex and didn’t want to terminate any longer who didn’t mind my image obsession and could be any woman I wanted her to be.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d pay to see a nuclear bomb go off just to see the explosion firsthand.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d hire the NSA to spy on the CIA and vice versa.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d make little tiny robotic mosquitoes which would follow Bill Gates around and annoy him.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d pay Megadeath to do a song with Rihanna

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d build the world’s first underground F1 racetrack in Phoenix. (I enjoy Phoenix if you can’t tell)

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d pay NASA to make contact with things depicted in science fiction.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d build a collapsible 4 man tent I could fold up and fit in my pocket.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d rent out the Playboy mansion for a party.

Hell yeah.

If I had a Billion Bucks.

I’d hire the BBC to build me a real TARDIS.

If I had a Billion Bucks.

I’d pay hackers to do something incredible that we already discussed but I long forgot about because I went insane and it took more time than even I understand getting my mind back.

If I had a billion bucks.

I would build time travel to go live out key moments in my life, as I know it, again, this time without going insane.

IF I had a billion bucks.

I’d contract with the Mayans, Chinese, India, and a few other countries to build an amusement park that only special people could see or even knew existed in Texas.

If I had a billion bucks.

I’d probably buy an IPHONE.

But don’t quote me on that.

That or I would just see if Steve Jobs would consider getting resurrected so I could just work with him instead.

Because clearly, I would be out of control with a billion bucks.

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