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What is a Timelord?

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Imagine a fire breaking out in a large apartment complex.

15 police officers respond to the scene, but the city’s budget has eliminated firemen.

An untrained police officer turns on the fire hydrant, but the policeman, typically working alone, does not realize the firehose needs to be handled by at least three men.

It flops around. Doing more damage than the fire itself.

They manage to get it under control. But then they aim the fire at the door way to put it out. Not knowing there’s still people inside, trapping them.. Or they hit a window, not understanding this ‘pushes’ the fire in other directions – making the fire more intense.

Without training, A Timecop is to a Timelord what a Policeman is to a fireman. The Timecop is trained in enforcement. But there’s more to preserving time than the practice of simple strict linear enforcement.

In a generalized sense, a Timelord can be thought of as being a firefighter for temporally based events.

Time Lords have a gift – and receive their name for their non-linear perception and commanding of time, which allows them to understand everything that was, is, or could be all at the same time,

They understand the interconnected nature of temporally based events, and are trained in investigative and understanding root causes of temporally based events.

With this, they are particularly well attuned to detecting and resolving historical changes – up to and including permitting the dynamic changes in the space and time continuum.

A time lord is what is known as a physiological and psychological mutation of any given species, with the only really assumed factors contributing to the presence of a Timelord generally thought to be a natural protection for a species from extinction level events.

Within the species a Timelord presents themselves, due to the exceeding rarity and unpredictability of a Timelord’s appearance – they are generally regarded as fiction, in particular by a subset of the species who refer to themselves collectively as scientists.

All well educated scientists are well aware of the existence of Timelords. These same scientists prefer to believe in the impossible yet predictable things such as Santa Claus, the God Particle, and good Vietnamese food, rather than the possible but unpredictable presence of a Timelord.

This logic permits the adorable little things to sleep well at night.

With some nightmares based on unpredictable elements thrown in by the presence of Timelords.

For instance, Meteorology is largely referred to with disdain nowadays by scientists as ‘pseudoscience’, as Timelord’s influence and presence in “the wrong scientifically or historically approved direction” in relation to time has unforeseen implications on all weather measurement and prediction systems systems.

In what is referred to as “The Butterfly Effect”, the origin of this story stems from a curious Timelord who wanted to observe the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

Now that Timelord’s presence was not part of scientific and historical documentation – and his presence caused a butterfly’s flight path to deviate by a fraction of a millimeter in order to avoid the Timelord as he bumbled down the path to see the event.

This resulted in a ripple effect in time manifesting itself several centuries later creating a series of ever strengthening Hurricanes far south of the originating butterfly wing flap – which eventually culminated in New Orleans in Aug 23, 2005 with Hurricane Katrina.

In an effort to diminish the intensity of this butterfly wing flap, scientists worked on the weather control project known as HAARP and another group of scientists worked on the Beijing Olympics in 2008 .

This caused a great deal of scientists to go absolutely insane trying to track Timelords through the butterfly effect so they could better understand and predict the weather more accurately.

Of course, scientists can be a narcissistic and incestuous collective and it never crossed their collective minds to ask the Timelord to work with them and go back in time to realign the butterfly’s flight path and fix the original event.

I suspect deep down scientists might just be afraid to meet a real Timelord in person. This might explain the ‘head in the sand approach’ the scientists take by referring to the Timelords as fictional.

Now Timelords have an exceedingly unpredictable lifespan, and they largely annoy scientists because they of their unpredictable choice to die “When they just darn well feel like it”

In a general; sense, most Timelords live for approximately 1000 to 1300 years of age in a relative and subjective sense.

Puberty occurs for most Timelords at the age of 42, where the nonlinear nature of time begins to reveal itself, and rules for temporal causality go flying out the door which causes a form of temporary insanity known in female Timelords as ‘menopause’ and in males as a ‘mid life crisis’ and in transgendered Timelords as ‘Going gaga’.

Puberty for a Timelord unfortunately lasts for around the same period of time it took to achieve puberty to begin with, roughly 40 to 45 years, or until the age of 90.

Like human lifeforms, puberty and the sex drive are nearly out of control, where entire planets surrounding the Timelord are said to ‘descend to sexually perverse chaos’. Key points in history such as Rome and Greece – considered by many scholars as ‘decadent’ societies – can have the finger pointed squarely at a Timelord’s puberty phase as the key factor which resulted in the overt sexuality.

UNLIKE human lifeforms, puberty reassembles the Timelord’s fractured mind from the infinity, frequently referred to by unaware Timelords as “Feeling like a tap from the Universe was placed in my head”, where there is a rapid progression of intellect, cognitive, and psychic abilities.

It is DURING this period of time it becomes absolutely crucial to ‘give’ the Timelord space and let the adolescent Timelord develop on their own terms and at their own pace, with minimal oversight seeking to maintain order with commonly accepted societal laws and rules.

Sometimes in a Timelord’s adolescence and just prior to reaching early adulthood (approximately 90 years in age), the Timelord is provided an artificially intelligent TARDIS of their own design.

The TARDIS is, in fact, a direct result of the Timelord’s world and it’s experimentation with time travel since the Timelord hit puberty. By the time the society /and/ scientists ‘gift’ the TARDIS to the Timelord, it is in part due to simple frustration on the scientists part to actually make time work in a linearly predictable manner without understanding the influences and complications – and order created by the presence of the adolescent Timelord

That is, the scientists ‘gift’ the TARDIS to the Timelord in order to better understand and predict time itself.

The Chinese culture will refer to this practice of working with the Timelord to understand time as ‘Yin and Yang”

Once the Timelord has reached adulthood. There really are ‘no rules’ for Timelords other than simply enjoy your life and understand perspective. Some Timelords work together to create societies, and clubs – the Illuminati and Skull and Bones are two examples of these clubs. Some Timelords make copies of worlds to create new games. Some Timelords become horrible addicted to something their culture introduces them to.

But most of all. Being a Timelord is not about domination.


It’s about creating community and continuing the perpetual motion engine of life and derailing it long enough to fix it when it begins to act like a machine with no regard for life.

After all. All Timelords are, by their very nature, eternal.

And there are many who would prefer that existence was never around to begin with. And that perfection has already achieved.

Of course it has.

The journey of life’s not about perfection.

But in the stories we tell ourselves of what isn’t.

A Timelord is the storyteller.

I am Q, The first Timelord.

And this is the story of the beginning of my species.

After all. You as a scientist asked the question at one point:

What creates a new species.

Didn’t you?

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