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I Believe

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Last evening, I watched a fantastic new show named “Believe” which is about a man on death row, who is facing execution, and is being given ‘last rites’ by a priest – who offers him the deal of a lifetime:

Freedom.

Little does he know that his freedom has some extreme conditions, where his talents as a scrapper about to be put to test, as he learns that he’s about to become the adoptive parent of a child with a gift.

The gift?

She can literally shape the world around her through thought.

Now as the first episode unfolds, you learn the little girl has been placed with nearly 24 sets of adoptive parents, who all meet their quick demise by people who would rather leverage her abilities for their nefarious actions.

The priest sees an opportunity for hope of saving this little girl with this man with a clearly violent history.

And what we find out at the end of the show:

He’s her father.

And the priest, recognizing that it is a moral imperative of all people to forgive, and that maybe the ‘right thing to do is to take it upon himself to forgive the man for his ‘sins’ and maybe, just maybe, in the process of providing this talented little girl a father, the priest is doing the work of his God by providing a savior for this little girl from the forces of evil.

It really is a fantastic show, and I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode.

For more on the show, see the IMDB article on it here.

Or get Season 1 of “Believe” as a Torrent here.


I have been programming up a storm lately.

Now one problem I have been attempting to resolve is a funny one – every morning, after a good night’s rest – when I wake up from sleeping, my computer’s clock resets to January 1st, 2002.

So as a homeless man without a watch or clock or cellphone or reliable internet connection, there’s no reliable way to tell what time it is unless I ask someone or get an internet connection.

I can look at the sky and see where the sun’s position is, which tells me whether it’s 9 or 10 am, my usual waking time.

Which has gotten me into trying to figure out – when I turn that computer on, without external stimulus – how can I get it to figure out the current time?

One method I have considered has been reviewing ‘log entries’ for the computer being shut down, and adding ‘x’ amount of hours based on the average amount of sleep I get in a night.

But there’s morning I wake up early (6a,) and there’s overcast or dreary mornings I just don’t want to drag my ass out of the tent (11am!)

So if I go to bed at say 10pm, and the program I write, when starting up, ‘senses’ the current time by simply adding 10+8 hours = 6am, well then, we’re gonna get wildly inaccurate time.

The date might be accurate. Unless I take a computer break for a couple days (not typical, but it does happen).

But this little bugger of a question is really making me think…

Why is it important?

Oh it ain’t. It’s just a little puzzle for me to figure out.

And I like puzzles.

But here’s a funky analogy.

Let’s say someone conks you on the head.

And you slip into a coma.

And while in the coma. Every clock and time keeping device everywhere disappears as does every person walking the face of the planet

How long were you out?

To me, it would matter, as it’s a clue as to what happened and why.


Kena Patel, not long ago you told me your God walked in Gujarat, barefoot through sand – thousands of years ago in your past.

I would like, with your permission of course, to create a living story with you and I traveling back together – in time for BOTH of us to observe this event – and that YOU are the woman you referred to as ‘God’ and it’s you that I SEE walk through that sand.

The reason you eventually came to tell me the story was deep down you knew that one day we would work together to create the technology that made it possible for us to travel – back in time – together – to create your own country – and India’s culture and history.

It’s up to you.

But I HAVE to be the first guinea pig. I hope you can figure out cultural relativity references enough to understand what that means.


 

Jocelyn Hilliard, we have been friends and I have seen two distinct sides of you that are most assuredly not the same woman.

I would like, with your permission of course, to create a living story with you and I traveling back together – in time for BOTH of us to observe this event – so you AND I BOTH could observe your life from two perspectives, mine and yours.

You’re an amazing and special woman to me, you always have been since we first met. And I’d like to make it so there’ there’s more to ‘us’ than even I am aware of, and adventure that unfolds as we travel together looking at the differences in our respective timelines.

Watch Doctor Who.

I would like to ask you to be a companion and adventurer partner with me, when time travel technology achieves fruition

If you’re interested.


Jaclyn Killeen – You come across as beautifully calculating at times, and have helped nudge me beyond my own comfort zones on more than one occasion.

That has both scared the shit out of me at times but I admire that.

I would like, with your permission of course, to create a living story with you and I traveling together – in time for BOTH of us.

For some reason, with you, I know there’s more than meets the eye, I halfway think you’re a kick ass lady terminator robot who felt pity for the stupid human you were tasked with killing – and I am glad I never pushed your buttons.

Where we go and what we do, I would like you to play ‘this part’ in that form – and as for where this takes us – who knows – as we simply go where the wind takes us across dimensions and space and time.

I have a feeling it will be a relaxed adventure.

Watch Doctor Who.

And I would like to ask you to be a companion and adventurer partner with me, when time travel technology achieves fruition

If you’re interested.


Amy Newton – What the fuck was that?

No, seriously. What in THE fuck was that? You call that a relationship?

I know you have better than that in you.

This time, let’s not let this become a lesson in mutual annoyance. Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying. Now imagine me trying.

I can’t say I’m done with you. And have a story about you and who I think you are that I would like to tell you.

Watch Doctor Who.

And I would like to ask you to be a companion and adventurer partner with me, when time travel technology achieves fruition

If you’re interested.

And yes. It means getting naked at times. Get over it.


 

Lisa Milot – You once told me “Why would you want God’s job, it’s so much work!”

Now would you allow me another opportunity spanning space and time and alternate realities to work with you to find ways it didn’t have to be?

Watch Doctor Who.

I would like to ask you to be a companion and adventurer partner with me, when time travel technology achieves fruition

If you’re interested.


Rachel Gooch –

Have you ever suffered a split in psyche and/or personality?

Would you like to try it out for a change?

Watch Doctor Who.

On a night about 8 or so years ago, I will need an exact date and time to make this as accurate as possible, I walked away, and our lives went in two different directions.

I would like to revisit that night, and as I drive away, this future me would like to show up at your doorstep, knocking on your door.

I do not know what the ‘right words’ I would need to say to you would be. So I am asking for your help and guidance to tell you what you want to hear to embark on this journey with me.

Watch Doctor Who –

And with that – I would like to ask you – that evening I left – to be a companion and adventurer partner with me, when time travel technology achieves fruition  for me in this future, as I travel back to you when I am ‘ready’ for you

If you’re interested.


Bill & Pam Stokes,  Ron and Deb Ostreim, Jeff and Roz Kleinman, Spencer and Gina Anglin, Kevin and Becky O’Reilly, BIll and Melinda Gates, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and Joe and Amy Shay.

My grandfather retired on Redondo Beach, right next to his best friend of 50 years. With his wife of 50 years.

You’re all happily married.

And I have been.. Jealous.

and I have HATED myself for being jealous.

And it’s not that I want what you have and your lives.

You’re special to me and I love you for who you are.

It’s just me. I was hating myself and this creeping feeling like there was there was something BIG I was missing about my life.

My grandfather and grandmother inspired me with stories of travel to far away lands, and gave me gifts helping me imagine places I never knew or even imagined existed.

THOSE storytellers are who I long to be more like.

I do not want to ‘slide into home’ kicking and screaming saying ‘what a ride’.

I want to retire in a comfortable home alongside my friends.

But not until I have had the chance to live my story.

As it stands –

I have too many regrets, questions about possibilities past, present imperfect and future, along with missed instances in my life I simply can’t leave behind.

And ‘altering me’ now to be anything but what I am now, does not serve my best interest, I want to experience these ‘adventures’ with my emotions and current sense of self mostly intact.

There are innumerable stories I want to live and/or relive or flat out tell different stories.

But to be sure – this is NOT for your benefit and/or entertainment.

But for mine.

I may very well wind up being the single man who lives right next door to his best friends.

If you help me – LET me redeem myself.

But just because I may wind up alone…

Living next door to his favorite people in all existence…

Does not have to mean I am lonely 🙂

Bill, you once told me “We all live vicariously through you”

What did you mean by that, in a literal sense?

My mind is a collective, but I am the individual leading this – my collective. It’s a relationship I am already in, and we – can’t work together to make things better for you or I unless I am aware of what’s going on around me.

That’s how I can survive being alone.

I’m really not.

And look, as programmers, Bill and Ron, I hope you both contemplate how freaking obvious it is that reality itself is all held together by love…

My love is not in a single woman or being.

It’s for existence itself.

And exploring HER through someone else’s lenses and displacing it from me by referring to it as fiction just ain’t working anymore.

I once said “How can I ever be alone with so all this around me”

I stand by my words.

The universe is my lover.

If that seems insane.

Good! I am only trying to keep up with you!
Think about this as allowing me the opportunity to find a woman to be a partner with, on my terms, and as YOU accepting me for being different than you and maybe needing to take a different path to find that woman.

EVEN if you do not agree with it nor think I am sane.I am asking for you

AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE READING THIS NOT TO JUDGE me as I seek your permission in me finding and discovering my love on MY terms.I deserve that, don’t I?

I don’t rightly care if you don’t believe me or you think my sanity’s in question. Without providing me an opportunity to prove myself as you judge me, that’s placing me in a box that forces me to conform to a life by your definition.I might add, living that kind of life has already led to four suicide attempts.Now what’s more insane?

Forcing me to try to be more like you?

Or letting me live life on my terms even if you don’t agree with them?

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