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Don’t mess with Texas!

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In the early 1800 to the late 1800s, the southwest portion of the United States was still being settled.

Now in the mid 1800s, the gold rush occurred in California, which saw a great deal of cross country traffic – and crime – to begin occurring across the nation.

California was the first to formalize insurance (ie: security) as a product and service due to the gold rush in the California, Nevada, and Arizona regions – a formal service provided in order to protect the assets of newly wealthy individuals who discovered gold reserves.

Organized crime and the mafia’s origin in the United States can be traced back to the unionization of this industry in that area.

And of special note – it wasn’t until the 1950s that this mafia’s union actually established the amazing city of Las Vegas.

In any case.

There was one MAJOR problem presented by these organizations.

They were a for profit organization that provided services only for clients and customers who could actually afford their services.

Which created a dominant presence on the east and west coastlines, and made those respective environments ‘safer’ for just about everyone.

But for every state in between, while good, people, and materials were ‘in transit’, they had a tendency to shoot first and never really stop to ask questions later.

Now a number of the states leveraged slave labor for protection.

Unfortunately, this led sentiment led to more ‘escaped’ slaves and a rebellion by slaves who had emancipated themselves and worked alongside the local indian tribes.

This led to states such as Arizona and New Mexico to quickly reform their dependency on slave labor, and to instead develop local militias to protect their own.

Unfortunately, organized unions based out of California and Nevada, on learning of any attempt to organize these militias into a protection organization, would demand recompense.

This is where the term “Sheriff for a Day” originated, as once someone was chosen to represent the militia as a central authority , they’d be taken out.

And with so many years involved in various warfare in the region, the territories of Arizona and New Mexico simply backed off establishing their own strong law enforcing agency.

Texas, however, was a different story, and as a long and relatively boring part of the transit system on the southern route, towns along the transit path were frequently fraught with problems with ‘keeping the peace’.

Now in the late 1850s – a man named Cordell Walker, a businessman based out of Amarillo, Texas, witnessed an event that would change his life forever.

His brother, a man by the name of Paul Walker, was ‘acting Sheriff’ of the small town of Amarillo, Texas, and had spent a great deal of time and energy cleaning up the crime in his town.

The town, and his family, loved him for it.

Now Amarillo was normally a bit further north than the typical transit system – but in this particularly hot summer, the ‘protective union’ was opting to move their resources on a more northern route, avoiding much of the sweltering heat of the south.

Now Paul Walker knew in advance they were coming, he’d gotten word from a messenger from the west – and so he did what any good man in his position should do – he barred their entrance into the city.

Amarillo, in it’s effort to clean up – simply refused to cater to what these men demanded – which was two things the sheriff had come to conclude contributed to the criminal problems – which were gambling and prostitution.

He had outlawed these.

Paul stood his ground, and explained to the men what he’d done, and that they simply would not get what they’d come to expect in their transit cities.

By and large. They didn’t care. And demanded that the cities in transit – cough up women – married or not – to satiate their expectations.

Paul had stood up against them.

And these self called protectors seemed to turn away.

At about dusk, all that changed, as Paul and his brother and a few other men were shot dead, and Cordell’s life was nearly taken as he was forced to watch as Paul’s wife was brutally raped and then left for dead.

How’d he live? He asked that he be allowed to be sheriff in honor of his brother, and to change their ways to support them in the future.

The next day, when the men were placed in caskets before burial, Cordell – the newly appointed sheriff was called over.

The town actually had a mortician, who referred to himself more as a coroner, who dealt more with farm animals than he did humans – as violent death had largely been eliminated.

So when it did happen, whether it was an animal or a human – he was typically provided a great deal of latitude investigating the precise reason which led to someone’s premature death.

The coroner, a man by the name of Jed Clampett – a scientifically investigative mortician – pointed something unusual out:

Cordell actually wrote about it in his diaries:

“What we both found unusual was that one and only one bullet was used for each of the six shooting victims, hitting each victim precisely to the left of the ‘sternum’ directly piercing the heart in one precisely aimed shot,” it read.

This gave Cordell an idea:

He wrote: “Jed, I need you to keep this between you and me. Do you have anything I can place under my shirt which will protect me from their shots?”

Jed immediately had an idea, and leapt to action, running to his workroom and returned with an object the size of a hand.

Cordell wrote: “Jed explained that it came off a man of Jewish decent, it was gold in color but much lighter, and could not be pierced with a knife.”

The object had clearly confused both men with what Cordell wrote next:

“The man had died from heat exhaustion in the flatland not far from our town and as Jed explained – he held this odd object in his hands towards the sky shielding himself from the heat as he breathed his last words. The object was much like a Jewish star, only it had five points instead of six, reinforced by a round circle of a grey material similar in strength. With the exception of a tiny inscription on what could only be the back of it this object – there was no way of identifying its purpose other than purely decorative in nature”.

Cordell finished the description of the object with a drawing of the engraving:

“Æ”

Working together, Jed and Cordell created a small harness to strap the object to cover Jed’s heart, and making it impossible to detect with his shirt on.

Now that they expected trouble anytime soon. but Cordell indicated to Jed that he had NO intention of undoing the work his brother had done, he rather enjoyed the calm and predictable nature and serenity of his town.

And now he started referring to it as the town they built.


At the time – throughout the Southwest – the Apache Indians were making an effort to try making peace with the white man throughout the southwest territories, as they began recognizing differences in the white men and not all white men were the same.

Recognizing that trouble for these small communities largely resulted in trouble spilling over to their own lands, in Arizona they’d discovered that collaboration with ‘the white people’ at Fort Defiant was not only creating an odd sense of respect for the settlers – but the Apaches were beginning to recognize a greater spiritual need for collaboration for reasons I won’t get into today.

In Amarillo, the Apaches were working hand in hand with Cordell, and had posted spotters all along the transit routes, an early warning system to give Cordell a chance to mentally prepare.

As luck would have it, within three weeks, the same men who had passed through were seen coming towards Amarillo.

Like his brother, Cordell Walker stood at the entrance to his city.

Unlike Paul, Cordell stood alone.

The men immediately recognized Cordell, as he sat with his shotgun mounted on his horse demanding the men take a different route.

Shaking his head in disbelief, the lead man pulled out his firearm, and shot one shot, knocking Cordell off his horse.

The man started to pass by, when Cordell got back up.

And immediately unloaded his shotgun on two of the five men.

As he reloaded, another man shot Cordell.

Hitting Cordell in precisely the same spot he’d been hit before.

This time, it stung a bit, but he retained his balance.

Cordell wrote what he’d heard the man who’d just shot him say:

“What the devil? You should not be standin””

That was the last word he got out. Cordell unloaded two more blasts into that man, killing him instantly, and then unloaded into the other, apparently hitting the horse, which sent the man flying off, wounded.

The other man took off at a full gallop on his horse.

Cordell walked over to the man and looked down at him, and can be credited with the quasi-origin of this saying:

“Don’t you ever mess with Amarillo, Texas again!”

From there, the Apaches, having observed all this, are credited with distributing the knowledge to the other southwestern territories – – starting with Fort Defiant in Arizona – on how the white man can defend against themselves.

Misunderstanding the instructions on how to carry the shield under the clothes, the people of Arizona in Fort Defiant – developed this five point shield which covered the heart of peace officers in the region – and placed it on the exterior of their clothing.

The First town to place an inscription on the sheriff’s badge was a small town by the name of Tombstone. Arizona. Here’s a badge here:

tombstone-arizona-sheriff-badge[1]

Meanwhile, as Arizona leveraged this as ‘protection’, working with the local Indian and hispanic population was easy to clean up the corruption.

This wasn’t the case in Texas, at first.

And Cordell’s reputation preceded himself.

In 1860, The Texas Rangers – a similar protective force similar in nature to the west coast mafia – approach Cordell.

They’d come to respect the man, and his methods.

They were having to face the choice of subservience to a nationalized syndicate or having local jurisdiction.

With the Ranger’s origins in helping the community and displaced people – the Rangers were choosing NOT to play a part of the confederacy, due to it’s association with organized protection who Cordell had stood up against – people who were promoting slavery.

Working with Cordell, who’d had several years to recover him and his town from the invasion, a rumor had been heard that strong arm actions were going to be taken against Texas for resisting, starting with Amarillo.

The Texas Rangers approached Cordell, and asked not only for assistance with training, but also to help create ‘protective shields’ for them – and most of all – to act as their leader.

Cordell accepted. With two conditions.

That his name not be written in their historical records.

And – most importantly – that they refer to themselves as peacekeepers.

That was in 1861.

On March 30th, 1870, Texas agreed to enter the Union known as the United States under one condition – that local law enforcement agencies take precedence over federal.

This is why Texas AND NOW California are referred to as Republics.

And the man known as Cordell?

The formation and preservation of the Texas is given credit to him, indirectly, as Texas is now known as “The Lone Star State”

Or the state that retained it’s sovereignty due to the actions of one man, the man who wore the “Lone Star” on his chest in front of his heart – that saved his life on more than one occasion.

And the state – gave the honor of this nickname in honor of the small town man who stood his ground, standing up for what he believed in – for a larger community outside himself.

And in the process, manifesting an organization and myth of a man that made the man almost seem godlike in nature.

After all, the man known as Cordell Walker.

Was played by Chuck Norris in the show – loosely based on his character – “Walker – Texas Ranger”

And for your humor – here’s a list of Chuck Norris memes, developed – in part – based on Chuck Norris’ character in Walker, Texas Ranger, but more created in honor of the real life legend of a man who changed our country and perhaps this world and has made it what it is today:

Thank you,  Cordell Walker

Before I get to the memes – a final note: Everyone knows actors choose their acting names. The now living in an alternate reality man – Paul Walker chose his name based on the real life character in Texas – and in honor of Cordell’s brother.

Here’s the memes:

  1. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
  2. Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
  3. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
  4. Chuck Norris once shot a man with his knife
  5. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
  6. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.
  7. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just too afraid to move.
  8. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside
  9. Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
  10. Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
  11. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
  12. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
  13. Chuck Norris once counted to infinity – twice.
  14. Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
  15. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  16. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
  17. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  18. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
  19. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
  20. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
  21. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  22. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake…….. After three days of pain and agony ………………the rattle snake died
  23. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade, it killed 50 people. THEN it blew up.
  24. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  25. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
  26. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live.
  27. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
  28. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
  29. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  30. Chuck Norris gives his GPS directions.
  31. Chuck Norris photographed the world’s first camera
  32. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
  33. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  34. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  35. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  36. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
  37. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
  38. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  39. People call 911, 911 calls CHUCK NORRIS
  40. Chuck Norris is so tough, he has to have a concealed weapons permit to put his hands in his pockets
  41. Chuck Norris can understand women.
  42. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  43. The cure for cancer is Chuck Norris’ tears. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.
  44. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  45. According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you to yesterday.
  46. Chuck Norris can divide by zero
  47. Freddy Kruger doesn’t sleep because he’s afraid Chuck Norris will kill him in his dreams.
  48. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
  49. When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.

And a few funny images:

chuck-norris-chose-scissors-photo-u1[1]

bobby-fisher-who-photo-u1[1]

so-that-s-what-s-in-it-photo-u1[1]

the-best-stories-photo-u1[1]

if-by-some-paradox-in-the-space-and-time-continuum-chuck-norris-got-into-a-fight-with-himself-photo-u1

under-his-beard-photo-u1[1]

like-you-have-a-choice-photo-u1[1]

when-chuck-norris-s-daughter-lost-her-virginity-photo-u2[1]

a-and-scoutmaster-photo-u1[1]

chuck-norris-s-daughter-photo-u1[1]

chuck-photo-u1[1]

there-is-no-such-thing-as-global-warming-photo-u1[1]

… and finally….

chuck-norris-is-the-reason-photo-u1[1]

prod_pw[1]

Until next time…


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