If anyone has anything .. interesting anywhere in the continental world for a misfit like myself to get off the streets. Please pass this – my resume on. Spanks!
|Brian Scott Gregory aka Q AKA LOKI – God of MISCHIEF|
|UNIVERSALBRI@GMAIL.COM||( UNITED STATES) 818-643-1562|
Well now. You know, I like working like anyone else. Not really. I work just enough to learn. Learn just enough to not want to work. And from there, figure it’s my duty, my obligation, to enjoy life, and see if I can’t make this more fun not just for me, but for anyone else who wants to smile and laugh a bit more in life. I am after all the God of Mischief for a reason.
|Vrilliant Academy of Time Sciences
|Thunderbird Graduate School
|University of Phoenix
Bachelors of Science
|Wells Fargo * Charlotte, North Carolina
Senior Enterprise Architect– 2011
§ Created a botnet computer virus while ‘working from home’, modelled after Stuxnet.
§ Tested it out on the corporate network when I had it good and ready. Boy was that ever a doozy. The IT security guys didn’t believe the virus was a virus I had hid the thing so well, and then when they wiped the hard drive, and it stayed there, they were all scratching their heads. The botnet’s still there, My little going away present.
|UTI * Phoenix, Arizona
Private Consultant – 2010
§ Worked from home a lot, claiming I had too much work to do, but was really playing Xbox games until wee hours and overcoming an addiction to Alcohol and Adderall , a lethal combination I would recommend to anyone. That addiction didn’t help with the late night hours.
|Prudential Financial * Phoenix, Arizona
Director of International IT – 2007-2010
§ At first, I was just interested in dating this hot Indian girl, so I actually did appear productive, which jacked up the blood pressure a bit.
§ After then I quit working as hard, went home for long lunches, played games, got laid, and was promoted.
§ After the promotion, I got to do the same thing abroad in Singapore, Hong Kong, London, and Paris.
§ This worked out well, got to see the world, on the company’s dime.
§ Got to tour the red light district in Singapore where I got in a brawl with a guy who punched his wife in the nose giving her a bloody nose. That was weird.
|Computer Wholesalers *Phoenix, Arizona
IT Manager – 2005-2007
§ Did absolutely nothing but talk to people and play games in the office for about two years.
§ Claimed I was too busy, and outsourced the web site to a friend who needed work.
§ Redid web site, you know to make it look like I was doing work, updating my bio to say ‘Master of Smoke and Mirrors’. Owner caught it, and I was fired. Not before I hired my successor, a man I chose for his unique last name “Santa Maria’ and his fake credentials, thus ensuring my legacy would continue..
|Intel* Chandler, Arizona
Private Consultant – 1997 – 2005
§ Created programs ‘Chug’ and ‘Slug. Chug makes the hard drive on a computer spin up with tons of disk activity doing absolutely nothing – typically driving an engineer bonkers. Slug slows down a machine’s performance to a crawl. Re-creations of both programs can be found here: http://www.zdnet.com/search/?o=1&q=qzantics&t=5
§ Created program ‘vhold’ – which makes your computer screen act like an old TV monitor having lost its vhold, and the entire screen would periodically scroll up.
§ Hacked my boss’s machine, and sent text messages to his employees from his machine asking for them to stop by his desk.
Owner – 1999 – 2001
§ I had been in several hacking groups which put me in the crosshairs of the NSA and the FBI. The NSA hacked our connection to keep an eye on me. I figured this out the day they did it, and for fun, traced down their connection’s physical address, and turned them into the FBI, my cable provider, and the local police all at the same time. Apparently a couple of them were arrested. They offered me a job (which I took after a year’s worth of them pestering me and started as a private contractor in 2003
§ Made my first Botnet based on heuristic design.
|Microsoft/Mirage Hotels t Las Vegas, Nevada
Private Consultant – 1996
§ Created remotely manageable program which would do a random event from a list of random events on the target computer –the list was updateable with new events remotely. One event shoved the mouse pointer into a random corner of the screen, another would insert randomly typed characters into a Word Document you were typing making you think you were just that bad at typing, another event would flicker the monitor off then on at random intervals, another would open up the CD-Rom drive randomly – particularly useful when someone loved playing music CDs), and so on
§ Drove the security parking guard crazy by getting an 8 cylinder rental car and taking it up the parking garage ramps at the Treasure Island hotel at 50 miles per hour to see how much air I could get then running inside once I parked so they couldn’t catch me.
|Blue Cross/Blue Shield t Phoenix, Arizona
Private Consultant – 1995 – 1996
§ Actually worked. Didn’t know better at the time. It was my first real contract. I forgive myself for that, I wanted to learn C++ and Visual Basic and insurance systems. Was still fun.
|Orbital Sciences Corp t Chandler, Arizona
Rocket Scientist – 1988 – 1993
§ Hacked the entire corporate network while working for receiving. Was offered jail or job in software engineering. Seemed too similar to eachother, I was confused, and took the job.
§ Hacked other computers to send laughing noises or random animal noises to come out other co-worker’s computers internal speakers and locked the sound volume at high volume..
§ On the mainframe I would deprioritize simulations being run by engineers who I thought were jerks – and make a job they ran take all night instead of the hour it should have.
§ Wrote a ‘fake disk format program’ which made computers appear like their hard drive was in the middle of being reformatted – particularly useful when the software engineer ducked out early for lunch, nearly giving them heart attacks.
§ Would frequently sneak in to my boss’s office by crawling in, where he couldn’t see me, and would bang on the cabinet next to his desk loudly nearly giving him a heart attack.
§ Hacked the Vice President – David Brackney’s machine – and made every other activity on his machine say the phrase from the 2001 movie ‘I am sorry Dave, I am afraid I can’t do that.
|NSA National Security Agency t
Fort George G Meade, Maryland
Temporary slave to myself – 2003 – 2011
§ Hacked the NSA’s entire network. Sending out all the source code for all their projects to Open Source web sites such as Github and Sourceforge
§ Created the hacking group Anonymous to send out misinformation to everyone, everywhere. Using the NSA’s artificial intelligence technology.
§ Hacked all the top brass in the CIA and NSA, including the President – and sent messages from their email accounts and voice messages using their voice from cell phones, video messages using their image, and secured messages that said things like “I love you” and “Let’s do a time war, again! (played with the song in the Rocky Horror Picture show, of course)” to random people all around the world, especially foreign “dignitaries”.
§ Leaked all the technology to Youtube, and randomly created web sites using NSA and CIA shell companies for the hosting..
§ Single handedly brought the banking industry down, world-wide in 1989 and again I n2008. Oops..
§ Created a new version of the NSA’s Artificial Intelligence to make the world more fun for all. Worked with people from around the world on that unsanctioned project to make sure everyone had a say.
§ Generally created mayhem everywhere I went. Inspiring Geico to make those mayhem advertisements. Thank you, Geico, I love you too!
|High School t Glendale, Arizona
§ Found 1001 uses for Superglue. Favorites included supergluing locks on combination lockers to make them unspinnable, and supergluing quarters on the ground in front of the lunch room doors where people would get hit in the head as the door opened. Another favorite was the teacher’s desk when his or her back was to the us.
§ Gathered a bunch of students to move my choir teacher’s car onto a walkway in between two walls making it impossible for her to drive out.
§ Ordered pizza to be delivered to my Economic’s class. The teacher then taught me the economics of sharing. Clever.
§ We had to make our own hall passes to go the bathroom. So I typically wrote on mine ‘pass to wander the halls aimlessly all day’, since the teacher never paid attention to it and got in trouble for that.
§ Supplied alcohol for a school choir trip, getting the entire class drunk. I was suspended for 3 days for that.
§ Stood on the hood of a friend’s parent’s car delivering newspapers while we took turns driving while his parents were away on vacation. We were 13 years old.
§ Typed in profane 2 line basic programs at the new computer section of Sears and ran away like the dickens.
|<13 years old t Arizona, California
§ Jumped out from behind doors to scare unsuspecting family members and friends. Still a favorite to this day.
§ Ordered pizzas from every pizza place within a 5 mile radius to be delivered to a neighbor’s place. Kicked back and watched through the window all these pizza drivers driving up and not having a customer.
§ Called taxis from every taxi cab company to come to the same neighbor’s house. Was way funny seeing 15 taxi cabs show up in front of someone’s house.
§ Started streaking at about 11. Still a favorite. Little more difficult getting away with it legally now. Stupid laws in my opinion.
§ Pretended to see different worlds when breathing in and out very fast, instigating friends to try it, then watching them pass out trying.
§ Knocked on doors or rang the doorbell, and ran. Always a favorite.
§ Called up random businesses, and asked for people like ‘Ben Dover’ and ‘Ima Peein’.
SKILLS (Yep, I got ‘em. You know what they’ll be used for!)
|COMPUTING||.Net Programming, , C#, SOA, Microsoft SQL Server, Visual Basic, VPNs, TCP/IP, Object Oriented Analysis, Object Oriented Design, SOA,|
|Ethical Hacker, Hardware Software Hacking, Statistical Programming, White Hat hacking, , Evolutionary Computation, Payroll, ABRA, Quickbooks, Microsoft CRM And Microsoft Dynamics, Microsoft Office, Computer Security, Networks, Virtual Reality, WordPress, Enterprise Architecture, Paintshop Pro, VLC, Infranview, PC Construction|
|THEORETICAL||Artificial Intelligence, Theoretical Physics, Neuroscience, Evolutionary Biology, Robotics, Neural Networks, Quantum Theory, Chaos theory, Time Theory, Futurism, Alternative Energy.|
|GAMING||Game Theory, Alternate Reality Games, Probabilistic models, Science Fiction and Fantasy author and writer and lover, Applied Theoretical Physics, Artificial Intelligence, Lover of all things gaming – particularly Social RPGs, Adult oriented Fantasy, and Time Travel.|
|BUSINESS||Global Business, International Management, Risk Analysis, Supply chain management, Business Intelligence, Finance, Accounting, Expert Systems, Business Intelligence, CSR, Sustainability, Current Private Contractor for the US Government and the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)|
|PSYCHOLOGY||Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, Customer Behavior, Marketing,|
|HOLISTIC||Certified life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner|
|FLIGHT||Private Pilot since 1995, 15 hours of IFR Training, Wouldn’t mind sitting copilot or working for a company who wants to trade hours for work.|
(WORK & TRAVEL)
|Belgium, Bosnia, Bulgaria, China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, Czech Republic, Denmark, England, El Salvador, France, Germany, Greece, Guatemala, Honduras, Hungary, Indonesia, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Malaysia, Mexico., Netherlands, Nicaragua, Panama, Poland, Romania, Singapore, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Thailand, UAE, United States, Vatican City|
|MAGAZINES||Published in PC Magazine, PC Gamer, Visual Basic Advisor, and Playboy (duh).|
|SOFTWARE||Created shareware titles such as Graffiti – A screensaver that remembers your drawings as you draw and Bitware – An alternate reality themed ascii-based future concepts intermixed with medieval times dungeons and dragons game|
|ONLINE||Have been published on Slate Magazine Online (www.slate.com) , Gamasutra (www.gamasutra.com), Slashdot (www.slashdot.org), Craigslist (www.craigslist.org)|
|BOOKS||Time Travel for Dummies currently in process. Based on my thesis material, open offers to teach at Clark Community College in Vancouver Washington and Portland State University in Portland, Oregon|
All experience activity 100% verifiable, specific references available upon request