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The Annals of Q Junior, Stardate 92317.24

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In the year 2020, the most expensive, far reaching and important experiment in the history of all of existence was performed by a joint consortium of governments and corporations around the world.

That experiment was an attempt to contact me.

I panicked.

This resulted in the immediate destruction of all of space and time as it was known.

Shortly after, in the year 2011, the most expensive, far reaching and important experiment in the history of all of existence was performed by a joint consortium of governments and corporations around the world.

The message this time was different.

That experiment was an attempt to contact me.

The message was an image this time:

DontPanic[1]

I panicked.

This resulted in the immediate destruction of all of space and time as it was known.

Again.

So in 1969, as Neil Armstrong stepped off the Apollo 11 which had just landed on the moon, and jumped on board the Acamarian vessel named ‘Tallyho‘, a name given to the vessel in deep respect for humanity and because the Acamarians liked the way it sounded – Neil uttered the now famous words “That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.”.

As the prerecorded visuals of a moonwalk filmed in complete secrecy by a Hollywood production crews at Pinewood, in London were played back on Earth to the entire world, the very real and very live sound feed of Neil Armstrong as heard from the moon was to become known as the ‘Shout heard ’round the world’

This shout directly resulted in my being born in human form on December 25th, 1969.

Needless to say.

I panicked.

I had never been born in a human form before, burping and farting and what with your gangly limbs and penis thing, I mean – do you really blame me for panicking?

Of course my panic resulted in the immediate destruction of all of space and time as it was known.

Again.

….

The next time, 1969 came around again.

The same events unfolded, none of which the humans remembered, but the Acamarians had – and this time, the Acamarians were a little more prudent. and they brought silencers so Neil’s voice didn’t frighten me..

Unfortunately, I controlled time and space and imagery and life itself and mistook silencer for gun, and when the Acamarians silenced Neil, I thought he’d been shot.

I panicked again.

This resulted in the immediate destruction of all of space and time as it was known.

I was getting sick and tired of dying.

Call it a knee jerk reaction from dying so much.

….

On my mental rebirth – at the beginning of space and time – I had this overwhelming  sense of Deja Vu.

Playing the investigator – I found akashic records of the past – and my repeated panicking revolving around my mishandling of the unpredictable circumstances of new senses, gangly limbs with phallic things , life, and all that jazz all associated with that infernal moon project.

And then I found historical records which had indicated the birth of Christ as being December 25th.

So this time, planning my rebirth,

Not wanting to be mistaken for that apparently great story telling man.

I changed my birthday to November 1st, 1969.

It seemed like a good, solid date. Pliable. Not overly chewy.

And didn’t leave the bitter aftertaste the other one had.

Or could.

Shortly after December 25th came.

And went.

Nothing happening.

This had the immediate result in a protest and vote by the entire world to make December 25th a holiday in remembrance of the man who neverwas.

The world was substantially smaller back then, I might add.

But you panicked.

This resulted in the immediate destruction of all of space and time as it was known.

I was, needless to say, a smidgeon annoyed.

A tad dismayed as well.

After all, I hadn’t panicked this time.

I had to have a better plan moving forward.

Or backwards.

It all depends on your temporal frame of reference, right?

But I had had it to just about here with this frackin looping!


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