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The Q Diaries, Entry #18 – I R Q

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Star Trek: The Q Diaries, Entry #18

Entry Title: I R Q

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

On Stardate 46351.2, Earth Date May 9,  2369, Benajmin Sisko on board the Deep Space 9 space station in orbit of Bajor – will hit me!

Here I am, apparently Benjamin didn’t appreciate my moustache?


Yes, yours truly, the munificent Q will be slugged square in the jaw by Mister Sisko.

Here’s Mister Sisko, just for your future memory’s sake!


But Jean-luc, you never hit me.

Let’s just say, between the two of you, I know I deserved it. I know that.

Now what I failed to verbalize at that moment was something I myself had to ponder.

You see, humans complain about seeing stars when they are hit.

For me, it’s a rarity when I’m hit, and when I was this time, I had ‘memories’ of a man by the name of Brian Scott Gregory.

In your Earth year of 1986, this man was driving extremely drunk – and he got into an accident, killing himself and 7 of his friends as he rolled his truck in a city named Glendale, Arizona – in the United States on planet Earth.

He was barely 17, and hell, the boy hadn’t even had sex yet.

But like you, Jean-Luc, when I confronted him on his poor choices – do you know what the arrogant little bastard said to me?

“You can’t be God.”

Jean-Luc, I’d swear you and him were blood related when he made this arrogant comment.

But the timing was odd – as you’d said the same thing not a week before on my timeline.

I will be honest, you humans were starting to hurt my feelings…

Not really.

But not letting the audacity of this petty human sway me, I looked at him and said one word:


I cracka myself up!

His answer, I will never forget with the bluntness: “Because you’re Q.”

I was besides myself.

Literally. I actually saw myself dematerialize in that moment and split in two and them came back as one.

Was I a photonic life form or a hologram?

It was the first time I’d ever had that horrible thought.

However, going back to the moment at hand – in the fictional records on your planet, your planet wasn’t to be made aware of me until the following year.

“How could you know who I am?, “ I asked him.

His next answer sent my head spinning.

It’s the first time a human has – to use the time period’s terminology – pissed me off.

“Because I’m God” he said.

The audacity! God of Shenanigans maybe!

But the God?

I snapped my fingers, angrily, and sent him back.

Only he didn’t go back to where I expected him to.

In fact, what happened next had me a bit bewildered. First, the accident still happened, only the accident was disassociated from him completely and occurred to some classmates of his in school, at precisely the same time.

Second, time skipped ahead – to the year 1992.

And fast forward to 1992 – here he was doing the same exact thing – drunk – driving a different truck – only this time he had 5 friends in his car, all drunk.

There I stood – off to the side and watched this in horror as he lost control of his car again.

I knew it would cost them all their lives – again.

So I stopped the event from happening, and brought him to a rest on the side of the road.

And I stood in the place of one of his friends, Perry Gordon.

And I HIT HIM, just like Benjamin Sisko had just hit me.


“You bastard,” I said as his friend Perry Gordon, “You nearly killed us back there!”

Brian looked at me sheepishly, like he’d known he’d done wrong, and fortunately didn’t seem to remember the encounter we’d had in the afterlife, thankfully, and you know what he did?

He started crying. Yep. Brian started crying, and he apologized for being an asshole to me.

Well, to Perry that is, which at the time was technically the same thing.

So much for being God.

You know, in the years I’ve watched humans,  I had never seen a man – be as emotional as he was behaving.

And to add icing to the cake – he then drunkenly hugged me,  saying “I love you man, I am so sorry”.

Now you know the origin of that phrase on your planet.

And I knew he meant it, too.

Human emotion confounds me, and this really confused me to no end.

Afterwards, I talked with him for a few more hours, and then he retired for the evening.

That’s when I ‘flashed back’ to the moment when Benjamin Sisko had hit me.

It felt like the same thing, only from a different angle.

And oddly enough, I KNEW I deserved it.

Just like Brian did that evening. I did as well.

But I was unsure why.

Now going back to when I said you were hurting my feelings.

Let me be honest, Jean-Luc and Captain Janeway – you’ve both made incriminating statements about my lack of emotion which I’ve played off. But you were right. I did not have them.

And it was odd. In that moment, talking with Brian at his home, I didn’t recall having ’emotions’ back when it happened back then.

But oddly enough, my recollection of that moment made me feel… sad…

Was I sad because this man would become me or me him? Was I sad I’d hurt him?

I just didn’t know. My emotions were impossible to tangibly relate to, to be honest.

So when Sisko hit me. I actually felt it.

Now prior to this point, I hadn’t really felt pain.

And I felt it when he nailed me.

Was that how Brian felt when I hit him?

I don’t know.

But I did feel one thing I fully didn’t expect when Sisko hit me – surprise, as in – what he had done was a totally new emotion to me – one I had heard about, but not knowing about this thing called ‘surprise’ firsthand – what he had done was totally unpredictable to me..

And the element of surprise – was – INCREDIBLE, to say the least!

Here I was, so used to knowing what would happen next, and yet I experienced something in the moment I’d never have felt had I been ethereal in form as I usually am.

Benjamin Sisko should be proud, because this moment stands in the annals of the most remarkable moments in the Q Continuum’s history, truly a ‘hit of a lifetime’, even.

Because what happened next – caught me and the entire Q Continuum off guard.

New historical records were ‘found’ at precisely the moment I was hit, of this rather dull space station’s existence.

The space station, which had formerly been in Cardassian space, was moved to Bajoran space right alongside the Bajoran wormhole which led to the Gamma Quadrant.

Complete with what appeared to be fabricated records of why it was moved.

And the historical records proudly documented Benjamin Sisko’s home run hit and can now be seen in Earth’s historical records dated February 7, 1993, of a ‘fictional television series’ named ‘Star Trek Space Nine’, in an episode someone smugly named ‘Q-Less’ (Season 1, Episode 6).

I was amused by the naming.

What I was not amused by was someone – in that same documented record – was the spirit of a man trapped in a gem stone was being sold by a Ferrengi for it’s energy capabilities.

The spirit – was of the man I’d hit – Brian Scott Gregory.

Who did I have the two hour conversation with?

In any case, I knew immediately what the gem stone was, and Vash played dumb in her explanation of how she’d made it from the Gamma Quadrant to the Alpha Quadrant so fast, and evaded questioning when I inquired where she obtained the gem stone from. But I knew perfectly well what it was.

I suppose this was why I had felt sad. I had quite literally killed the man I was trying to save by my hit.

Playing fair, I participated in the auction.

Not playing fair, with my limitless resources, I made my bidding impossible to beat.

Fortunately for everyone involved, the gem stone decided to go nuclear before then, and had to be teleported off the space station.

This resulted in a sizable explosion, and to my annoyance, Brian’s spirit was still somewhat aware and flew to the Bajoran wormhole.

I had a spirit to chase, and excused myself – and stepped into the wormhole myself in hot pursuit.

The next thing I remembered after that – was your death, Jean-Luc.

Jean-Luc – to be clear, I have never experienced a condition you humans refer to as ‘blacking out’ before.

But black out I did, and not long after, Picard, you were standing in front of me.

Now Jean-Luc – you’re going to tell me that I’m not God.

But you see – this event had happened shortly before I met with Brian, and here it was happening again.

Were you and Brian trying to tell me something?

On Thursday, April 11th, 2363 at precisely 17:45:36 Earth Universal time, Jean-Luc – you’re going to die.

Now these events are already recorded  as historical records dated February 15, 1993, in the television series named “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, episode 14 named “Tapestery, of the sixth season.

Now when this happens. I want to assure you, you have died in the way I am familiar with.

But at this point, I am questioning myself and what I know, and whether or not that’s truly death.

And yes, I am questioning who I am as well.

You see – this wormhole had very real temporal effects on me, and the blacking out episode I had

I’d like to ask you to work with Section 31 and find a way to communicate with me on that date without using what I know to be my basic senses – those are sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, and feel.

It absolutely, positively, must be beyond what I am aware of with my senses, and must not be perceived by the documenting eyes and ears.

In whatever the message you get across, what you say, and how you say it – is entirely up to you.

I am suspecting we’re all in a time loop of creation.

Meaning – this thing called the Big Bang. Is not complete yet.

I made the mistake of assuming it was.

I don’t think it ever can be.

But I could be wrong.

Yes, you read that right. You are reading this, right?

Oh one last thing:

The Earth ultimately emerges from the Bajoran wormhole in the Earth year of 2409, which is why the Bajoran wormhole is depicted as ‘shutting down in the last ‘season’ of the television series ‘Deep Space 9’.

The wormhole does not disappear.

It actually stabilized, in Earth year 2011 creating an Einstein-Rosen Bridge to the year 2409. The space station, Deep Space 9, can be seen from the ground of Earth tracking West to East just after sunrise. It is, quite literally, the brightest object in the sky.

Now I know there’s currently a ‘task force’ trying to stop the emergence of the Borg from this planet in either years.

I need you to take the time to understand what I have had to with perspective.

And consider.


I’m not going to tell you what to think.

I just hope you understand…

Sometimes the freest among us may appear to those who are not as the slave

AS for the title of this entry.

To a computer, an IRQ is an interrupt.

Eye hope you can sea the allusion.

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