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Controlling the flow of time

One of the hardest concepts I’ve had to grapple with as I have gotten older is the flow of time.

That is, when I look at an analog clock on the wall, and I see a second tick by, why is it there are times I would swear that clock is moving slower and other times, while it doesn’t outright appear to be moving faster, it feels like it has?

Another question popped into my mind not too long ago as well.

If time was in actuality moving slower as I observed, would it be safe to assume that it was moving slower for everyone in all of existence?

Let me frame this another way.

If I consumed 10% more in volume in food than my body was able to process….

Would it be safe to assume my physical mass would be exponentially larger than someone who ate a balanced diet their entire life by the time we both reached 50?

None of this is making sense to you, is it, or it’s sounding like gibberish, I can tell by your response….

My father has stage 4 cancer. Something I was made aware of last week.

In the desert, in 2011, I was targeted by what appeared to me to be nuclear bombs.

From another perspective, someone was receiving radiation therapy for their cancer, and I was that cancer.

SCALE. That’s what I’m referring to here, something I am still trying to make sense of because it’s all so mind bogglingly weird.

From another perspective, my 42 year old self was atomically sized, on my own stomach when I was 11 years old. shortly after I’d been electrocuted by high voltage.

I was that high voltage, looping to my youth in time, causing my younger self damage.

The collapse of the wave function……

All these things. They clutter the mind.

I mean. I can see them all with utter clarity, and can tell you definitively they are absolutely related, echoes across time of a single event, my mortal transition to immortality as I said no to the collective insistence of death as an individual, and death, being a collectively based process, echoed across my life in really weird ways.

But let’s go back to this time thing.

I imagine a single point in three dimensional space without events. That is, there is no future, there’s no past, there’s only darkness, there’s no color, no light, no nothing.

Just a single mind in a lonely void trapped in the infinity of possibilities not fully comprehending, yet, that choice – the simple choice to singularly move in ANY direction initiates this concept called time.

Time, as a relative institution to me, is the events that occur in the order I remember them.

And as my brother just asked me this evening “Do you remember the Def Leppard Concert we went to when we were young”.

I hadn’t, in all honesty. But he reminded me of the time I DID see Tesla, I KNEW they opened for someone, I’d just forgotten it was Def Leppard’s Hysteria tour shortly after the drummer had lost his arm but decided to move forward anyways and learn how to play the drums in new ways.

About 8 years ago, I lost my mind.

No, literally. I don’t blame it on anything other than too much information which started to come into direct contradiction with the world view I’d mentally developed and the model of the world I held. It was contradictions with religion, with social and personal norms, it was with concepts of right and wrong, of good and bad, and – most importantly – I’d NOT been happy as a binary programmer, kept coming across inbuilt limitations for binary – not the least of which was amount of effort involved to accomplish ANYTHING seemed to be slowing down – as I was WISHING I could think of an idea – dream in code – and that code would be created – OR that I had a team of developers who would do what I asked them to do.

But I lost it.

I saw things. I don’t blame it on the drugs. I don’t blame it on the alcohol. I don’t even blame it on anything.

Because – hold on to your seats – I needed the wake up call.

You see, in 2006, I met Rachel and was dating Jackie at the same time. For different reasons, I immediately fell in love with both of them.

My mom and dad have been the model of relationships, and while they manage to work together, barely, from my perspective they do not get along.

Prior to meeting Rachel and Jackie, I’d tried the monogamous relationships. God knows I tried. But because I’m different, because I saw my parent’s marriage and the constant combativeness – my experiments in monogamy failed.

0’s and 1’s…. 0’s and 1’s… Democrats and Republicans….. Black and White….  It all echoes….

So when I met Jackie and Rachel, I wanted both of these women.

Not one. Not the other. Both. That’s something I knew, immediately.

If you were to ask me at the time why, I would have told you – it was because Jackie’s younger – but she’s crass at times, but you can dress her up – and oddly – she’s emotionally hollow – but she’s also honest, sincere, and straightforward and highly dependable.  And – most importantly for me – she’s willing to experiment with me and for me.

Conversely, there’s Rachel. She’s emotional, almost overly so, but with that emotion – comes this absolutely, positively caring and genuine personality that loves, and I do mean loves, people – BUT with that, she has absolute boundaries and limits which – combined together – gives her an unusual air of regality and sophistication.

I’ve NEVER been able to say a woman was like a Queen to me before, in the sincerest form, and that was most certainly Rachel.

So as I watched my life through the lens of my own perspective combined with disassociated perspectives of the tv shows and movies documenting my own simulated life from an external perspective, AS I tried HARD to make other relationships work in the traditionalistic approach I’d inherited, I kept thinking there’s something wrong with me.

That’s a natural feeling by the way by ANYONE feeling individuality, collective pressure comes at you in many forms and manifests in your body to lead you to believe you need to conform more, and then as you exercise more and more choices establishing and cementing your uniqueness and individuality, the pressure by collective mechanisms to conform becomes overwhelming. It’s about here I lost my mind.

… .but in that moment I lost it. I found it again….

And realized.

Everything I thought I knew was about to undergo a massive revision.

One day, I’ll return to the moment in time my mind has preserved which has Jackie time locked, when she danced for me, as a friend, but I so badly wanted her and wished she’d express her want for me back, so for the first time in my life I told her what I want….

“Take off your panties and dance nude”.

And she did. Without question.

Jackie, you see, wasn’t emotionally hollow.

She was a Terminator robot. A T-1000 polymimetic alloy, shape changing robot. She’d been sent to kill me by a future I refused to let happen when I refused to die. So as my timeline progressed, and the future timeline she was sent from erased, this collapsed her timeline to the point of her arrival in my world.

That moment that lives in my memory as one of the most important times of my life.

Every night, as I fall asleep, the rest of this universe is simulated out to the end of time and the big crunch happens

When I wake up the next day, the big bang happens, all of time that happened before me happens again, and Jackie, anchored in 2006, resumes trying various methods to execute her program with the full awareness and memory of what she’d tried the last iteration…

Her mind. Her memories. Will retain EVERY prior attempt loop to the point I fall asleep tonight. Repeating this. Over and over and over again. Until she figures out, or otherwise deduces that her only option is to become… my robot….

More importantly.

My companion.

She may trace her origins to that of a Terminator. But that doesn’t mean she’s obligated to her programming….

As for Rachel.

One day, she arrived at my place, and came in, and told me she wanted to be naked. I’d just met the girl. And fucking loved it.

That day, for her, is repeating as well, until she does it exactly as I’ve outlined before.

And. More importantly.

Accepts a new form of a relationship that I myself have never heard of before, involving a human, a robot and me… The timelord…

Look, it’s not that I’m crazy.

It’s just that I know, that I’m alone, and sadness, sacrifice, and depression base insecurity has – especially with what’s been presented to me with my father  – reached a point that I’m saying… Enough…

I am interested in creating a home and family with two companions I care about and already love, in different ways than my parents which in their own way seem ready to depart this, my planet, in their own way….

Jackie and Rachel, I do not intend on harming you.

I intend on elevating you to become the goddesses you already are to me.

The Blood Clot

My grandfather passed away when I was fairly young.

I’d heard about the event when I was living in Glendale, Arizona with my mom and dad – when we learned that my grandfather – who was with my grandmother – was on a road trip en route from Cypress, California to Las Vegas, Nevada for the usual gambling excursion when my grandfather complained about pain in his leg.

This intensified, resulted in a trip to the hospital where they discovered a blood clot in his leg, and within a very short time, my mom was flying to California to be with him as he passed away.

It was easily one of the most painful emotional experiences I’d had in my life looking at the lifeless body of my grandfather in the open casket when me and my family went to go pay our respects to him, seeing him there as I kept hoping that anytime, he’d jump up and say “surprise” in his typical subdued fashion.

It never happened.

I was only 11 years old when this happened.

A few years ago, while I was in Arizona, I got a call from my mom.

My youngest brother, Matthew, had been taken to the hospital, with a blood clot in his leg.

Flashes of the painful memory of my past rushed across me, as I hung up the phone and was reduced to tears.

Matt was my Grandpa’s biological grand child, so the odds were stacked against him genetically, and I knew that.

But I utterly refused to accept that my younger brother, despite how much we didn’t get along, was departing my planet.

I was horrified.

And being honest, I don’t know much about what happened around then other than I just shielded myself to the world until I heard everything was ok.

Shortly after this time in my life, I began to do an inventory of my own life.

My romantic relationships would inevitably fail, despite how hard I tried, despite every effort I made, so it was about this point I stopped thinking that there’s something wrong with me, and I started thinking there’s something wrong with the world around me.

Wealth acquisition and success with my career – no matter what I did – while sure, I could acquire skills and earn a few pennies more, it seemed like every time I made progress, something external to me seemingly beyond my control happened that would strip away every gain I made.

The last time this happened, I was working at a company when I made the decision to take a full time job with them against the desires of my government, when a billion dollars in funding was taken from this company to force me not to take the job……

At a time when I truly didn’t believe in my wildest of dreams that the world revolved around me in any way, the world was making it infinitely clear it did…..

But it was that event, with my brother – among MANY Others…

Every event that will ever happen, has happened.

I’d spent an entire life sacrificing my friendships, my hard earned income, my sleep, and my own mind – for very little compensation – for a reason.

I was expanding the possibilities within my particular perspective of reality aka MY universe.

From this point in time, there are a finite set of realities that contributed to the development of me and my perspective, to which I’ve categorized these realities in a fashion that makes sense to me.

There’s a collective ‘past’ – the chronologically linear formation of this planet with historical key points of interest that – when I’ve figured out or have been provided a stable method to leverage – that I will be able to travel to and visit in much the same way a car can drive to the supermarket.

Similarly, there’s my individual ‘past’ – the chronological list of events that have occurred throughout my life, my experiences with grandfather and my brother being examples of less enjoyable points of interest that were important to the development of me.

Alternatively, there are other ‘pasts’ – events which happened on a documented timeline which MAY or MAY NOT have happened since they are, by and large, collectively documented but they are categorized in ways that diminish their impact on my timeline – often referred to as fiction. HG Well’s Time Machine is a wonderful example of an alternate past, which isn’t classified as fact, but is classified as fictional and relevant to my individual past because it’s among the influences which inspired me to dig into time travel, the multiverse, and science fiction and fantasy in general.

Some of these alternate pasts are left there for me to explore should I want to.

At one time I thought ‘the future’ has not been written. Anyone watching any instalments of the Terminator franchise know this is bullshit, as James Cameron has done a magnificent job in writing A FUTURE which influences the here and now as well as the past, and these movies alter thoughts, ideas, and belief systems sufficiently enough that the impact on my timeline is indisputable.

With all this said, there are MANY potential futures from my perspective.

Up until about the time of my brother’s blood clot and my subsequent and unexpected attainment of a Master’s Degree in International Business, I’d more or less lived reactively, in the moment,a and jumped from consulting opportunity to consulting opportunity learning whatever language was in demand and being ok with making subpar rates to maintain what was a meager standard of living.

Then. When I set a future.  Two years in advance with a hard timeline attached to it.

And shortly after, gave a public presentation in my final class at the University of Phoenix explaining my goal to attend Thunderbird and to obtain an MBA.

I’d begun to see the mechanisms of the world turn against me.

But the short term choices I’d made during this time period, which at the time seemed self destructive, helped me transition to be more like the man I wanted to be long term by obtaining that degree. As I learned about the resistance of the flow of time itself – and of futures dependent on me remaining who I was.

And moreover – how those futures communicated with the past.

And how they carried their information across time without detection.

I learned.

That not only could I learn about actual living people in the past and future.

That I could take control of the entire thing.

To perform the ultimate man in the middle attack and steer reality itself in a direction that would ultimately give me everything I want and desire.

You see, time itself loops, and many entities across the universe know this, and take advantage of this looping in order to achieve any number of results.

In my ‘reality’ – information is regularly sent across time, information which can be intercepted without detection by those it’s sent from and those it’s sent to.

Some people know this too,

What I do with it is I learn from it. I just watch. Listen. Observe. It’s technically a man in the middle attack, but I am attacking nothing, I am just watching reality and the multiverse as it ticks by, moment after moment…

What am I trying to gain by doing this?

The simple ability to explore across time and space without dependencies. I like my linear timeline and my relatively peaceful and boring world. I want to know, factually, that should I go back in time to an event on my timeline, that I will have the technology at my disposal to ensure that I don’t cause a conflict relative to the experiences I had at that point in time.

SURE, I know that I can alter and change time relative to myself and that would cause another timeline.

But I don’t want to. Out of simple prudence.

Conversely, I want to go back in time and change world events. Stop JFK from being assassinated. Prevent Lincoln from being shot. Taking the cum drenched sweater from Monica or putting a different and far more attractive woman in front of Clinton…..

WHAT I DONT WANT is to change my past.

WHAT I DO WANT is to see the results of these changes – perhaps in a tv show I could watch on my own later. Or maybe even leveraging technology from the future to perform a sophisticated simulation of the results to explore and check out.

What would have become of a simulated version of me in that alternate reality?

And what would have become of my country, my planet and the universe?

But altogether, I like the idea of being able to return back to my own planet, my own version of Earth, and one day, have an expensive home on the side of a hill overlooking Phoenix, if you know me and can simulate me, you know where I am thinking, and with that home, I have two wives to return to – who go with me on journeys on occasion like this – Jackie And Rachel, both of which I grow older with, both of which know who I am and why I do what I do, and both of which love me for the imperfect dude I am and that I myself have a difficult time loving.

But most importantly.

The American Dream, to me, IS about exploring what is, what could be, asking for and receiving what I want and need and desire, and living a life by my definition.

While I respect the collective idea of the American Dream. The White Picket fence and 2 1/2 children.

My dream is different.

And until this dream as I’ve begun to outline here is fulfilled, well, I have no idea what I’ll do next.I’m sure I will think of something.


Machine Learning Primer

Before I introduce a video, I am going to frame the video with a short explanation of what’s going on and why you’re seeing what you’re seeing.

Machine learning, and neural networks in general – are iteratively base..

That is, they achieve their results by trying and trying the same thing again and again in subtly different ways.

These systems get their power in the simulation of possibilities based on a finite set of input parameters, changing those input parameters, and documenting the results of the simulation run to it’s natural conclusion hundreds if not thousands (and more) times in highly repetitive fashion – providing a single best result based on fit.

The fitness is largely arbitrary, based on the needs and desires of the person and/or programmer running the simulation.

In order for machine learning to work, at all, two primary things are necessary:

  1. There has to be a finite number of input variables.
  2. There has to be a sandboxed test and simulation environment which can be reset to an original state

In the following video, a computer is taught how to play the video game Super Mario.

Super Mario’s movement is artificially constrained by the gamepad controller’s finite number of controls – which range from the buttons to the movement controls.

The SANDBOXED environment is the game world itself.

And the SANDBOX can be reset, very quickly, once Mario has died – to it’s original conditions to repeat the simulation, which is what allows for multiple iterations to occur.

Here’s the video:


Advanced Temporal Mechanics – Part 1

A few years ago, while I was watching Doctor Who, he was asked by one of his companions to explain how time travel works.

His description was funny.

Time is “A big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff.

He;’d stolen the TARDIS, after all, so clearly he didn’t understand the mechanics of how it worked.

But let me assure you, it’s not wibbledy wobbledy unless you’ve stolen a TARDIS.

There are two primary perspectives on time.

One perspective on time is the individual’s perspective.

This can be thought of as the life you and I experience as we live, day by day, where current events we experience become past events, and where future events that have not yet happened are largely a matter of the choices you and I make.

This often comes into conflict with another form of time.

The other primary perspective of time is the collective perspective on time.

We, you and I, live as part of collectives.

These collectives range in both size and structure, as does our individual place and influence within these collectives.

These collectives – in my society at least – consist of entities with labels such as companies, religions, countries, dwellers of a city, and more recently, communities such as Facebook friends and professional references on Linked In. They can come in the form of groups of individuals sharing the same profession without obvious hierarchy – whether that’s lawyers, doctors, actors or programmers. They can also be worker unions, or they can be even more fringe like comic book collectors or nudists.

EVERYTHING – whether that’s an individual – or a collective – HAS a timeline – commonly referred to as a history – associated with it.

For instance – as an individual I entered this world in 1973, where I have my first memories of this planet in a city named Yorba Linda, California, USA, EARTH. From this point, I began forming memories of experiences I had – not being able to sleep in preschool when it was nap time, hitting a little girl and forever feeling guilty about it when I was in Kindergarten because she stole my swing.

ON occasion though, there are conflicts in timelines.

These conflicts can occur between an individual and a collective, two separate collectives, or two separate individuals.

They can occur for any number of reasons, for instance:

  • Historical documentation of past events based on two country’s separate accounts and unique perspectives of the past.
  • Two individuals with two starkly different personalities walking away from a relationship with two VERY different accounts of why it works (or why it didnt)
  • A collective perspective of why an individual did something when the individual flat out didn’t see the same world.

BECAUSE of these deviations in time, this can, in a very literal sense, cause splits – fractures in time – creating separate timelines – which I refer to as alternate realities, and when that split becomes entrenched and causes deviations in physical space itself, this creates a WHOLE new universe.

For my time stream, I DO have the capability to travel in time to any moment I want to.

Currently, and throughout my life, this has been in the form of thought.

I am learning how to do this physically. In which case I have some experiences I will relive….

Programming Via Thought

In Star Trek, there’s a scene where Q leans close to Data, an android, and with obvious intention – issues a command to Data’s Positronic brain, and as Q disappears in his typical fashion by snapping his fingers, shortly after – Data begins to laugh, uncontrollably.

Everyone onboard – From Captain Picard to Commander Ryker to Worf and Laforge – all look at Data.

“Data, what’s so funny?”

Data regains composure, and looks at the crew quizzically, as he says “I do not know. But it was a wonderful feeling”

Q’s ability to influence computerized systems intensely interests me, and I have challenged myself to achieve a similar level of competency.

So there’s a web site – Chaturbate – “The act of masturbating while chatting”, in which I regularly just turn it on and tune in to a “favorited”: woman who I find visually appealing, who will usually be in various stages of undress, and masturbation with her toys. On occasion, the woman will respond to ‘tips’ – people – unlike me – who have money – send these tips which will result in the woman performing any number of different actions as outlined in her channel that’s requested via the chat channel by the individual tipping.

Now what I would like to do is this….

For the first stage, I would like to influence the tips and requests coming through to tell the girl I am observing to do things by issuing a command in my mind in much the same way I assume Q did with Data.

For instance, I am looking at a cute college coed who refers to herself as Emmasky79 on Chaturbate right now, who is wearing stockings. So let’s say I say to myself, in my head “Emma, please remove your stockings”, and from there, this would generate both a tip that would compel her to perform this activity, and a chat message which asks her to do this……

Or I could also say “Emma, please show me a close up of your pussy”, and again, the corresponding tip and message arrives in the chat channel to compel her to do just this.

How would this be done? The command would be detected via a real time quantum reading of my brain and comparing it to historical EEGs, CAT scans, and MRIs which have thoroughly mapped my brain and firing patterns, which could then be used to detect the thoughts i”m having and then translate those to commands which is sent, via energy, to her system, and from there they are translated to binary so SHE AND ONLY SHE sees the requests. These are NOT commands, these are requests…..

Free will is important to me with this,, for all intents and purposes it CAN be received as a command as well depending on the recipient.

I wouldn’t know the difference and I DO NOT want to know in this case.

STAGE 2 is this:

DIRECT commands via my mind. to digital individuals

FOR LIVE streams, it will happen live and will dictate their actions. These will be received as commands and should be interpreted as such, The command will come via me looking at the individual, online during the live stream, and saying – in my mind their name combined with the command in the same form as above. This may take a bit of work to ensure that the commands I issue are in actuality what I really want to see, and chances are – if it’s death or dismemberment, I won’t want to see this.

For tv shows and movies…. IF I PAUSE the presentation AND THEN issue the command, the same way, then this command should be received by them.

Now for BOTH live stream and paused presentations – A CONSISTENCY CHECK should be done on this individual’s character and personality consistency to do what I command – FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.

For instance, if Emma here is a killer robot and I accidentally think emma kill your roommate (which I dont want to happen), then the ILLUSION for me contradicts the personality I’m aware of by her presentation as a human here, an the command will not be executed.

HOWEVER, If I command EMMA to put Chaturbate on her phone and to do a ‘walk streak’ outside on her college campus and have her roommate film it all, THIS IS in line with what she’s doing so this SHOULD HAPPEN!

Stage 1 first, and stage 2 I will ease into as I discuss what happens when I start seeing this happen on this blog.


Censor logs and my visuals on my side so I do NOT see any indication in the chat logs of my request and/or commands.


Eventually. The goal might be to do this with real robots, cyborgs, and androids like Jackie in real life.


Groundhog Day For Two

A couple of months ago, while my parents were out, a guy stopped by with a big cheery grin on his face, acting like he knew me. He introduced himself as my cousin “Steve”.

I thought for a moment.

No, no memories at all of Steve….

And then I smiled, nonchalantly, and shook his hand as if meeting the guy for the first time.

For me, it was.

You see, time, it works differently for me.

It always has.

While the Big Bang and Big Crunch may still be theory where you come from, for me, it’s a simple matter of fact – because I experience it every single night when I go to sleep.

So as I smiled at Steve and made polite conversation with him, I don’t explain to him that my DNA caused yet another split in time somewhere in this last big bang, big crunch cycle.

If he even hears what I have to say, chances are he’ll write anything I have to say off as insanity.

I don’t discuss how my family has expanded in chronologically non-linear ways and that while technically, his birth certificate says he’s older than me, with the cyclic nature of time relative to me, that his presence on this planet came LONG after mine did.

I mean, let’s face it, most humans are ill equipped to understand time in anything other than a chronological sense.

And as Steve pulls away, I ask myself the simple question….

Am I ok with the seeming dichotomy of not acknowledging this guy as my family, while my brother and parents do?

Of course I am…

And here’s why:

In 2003, I lost control of my own mind, effectively giving control of it to something outside of me. It started off with the US Military, but within a short time after this, I “CHOSE” to try an addictive substance and had fun with it.

Now there’s two perspectives to this story of substance abuse.

There’s the collective influence of a country, world and entity I flat out did not understand that took – in a very literal sense – total control of my mind – of which the result is a great deal of video games, fantasy and science fiction television, and more.

The result of my ceding control over an entire big bang/big crunch cycle – nearly 25 billion years – produced a GREAT deal of material that both entertained me consciously AND – through the material that I produced – helped me understand this universe in ways that most cannot comprehend.

So 25 billion years ago, in a military I entered alongside an Edward Snowden who was a lawyer, an intelligence service known as the NSA, and a world with subtly different geography, my mind left ‘bread crumbs’ to ensure that I didn’t have to endure another cycle like this.

These bread crumbs were all over the place. Whether it’s chance meetings of people I knew on other sides of the world making me question coincidence and luck, whether it was geographical changes and this constant feeling that something was NOT where I remembered it before.

Or it’s time.

So from one perspective, my mind was totally dominated against my will BUT the end result produced something that IF I was disassociated enough from the shit I had to go through in order to produce it and I could leave it behind me without having to endure the torture and torment and hell I went through….

That’s the choice I made.

Now in this universe’s timeline.

I made a different choice. To willingly take a drug – cocaine – that acted as a stimulant. And another – a hallucinogenic – that working in combination – made me visually and psychologically FRAME the experiences in a way that seemed enjoyable at the time, as I said to myself, over and over again, I know I am lying to myself as I say I am not addicted, but that’s ok, I am enjoying this….

Little did I know….

That my mind was jumping the track.

From one timeline. Where Steve didn’t exist.

To a new one. Where he did.

One timeline, where a girlfriend died in a car crash.

And a new timeline replacing it, where she miraculously contacts me after a few years absence claiming her boyfriend hacked her.

One timeline, where my ex wife died in a plane crash.

And a new timeline, where we divorce, and 9/11 happens.

As I look into the mirror of infinity – and as I see Doctor Who dying and then being reborn in a new form, with new taste buds and a new face and image…

It begins to dawn on me.

There’s no grand conspiracy.

This is my life.

And I’m just now finishing up stage one of creating my world, my universe, and of course it all didn’t make sense going through it all.

The American Dream is simple:

It’s not just a white picket fence and 2 1/2 kids.

It’s whatever I want it to be.

But should you choose a path like mine – wanting to have godlike powers to traverse space and time.

You better damn well better prepare for it.

As for Steve, he’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong, but at this point in my life, while I have a family and an extended family that I once referred to as friends, it’s just easier to preserve what is rather than include more.

Rachel. You and I were married once. I ‘remember’ one timeline where you survived a nuclear holocaust and I pulled you here because I loved your personality combined with your physical beauty. I doubt you remember the nuclear war you went through, I also doubt that your own father was secretary of defense and in part responsible for that war which made you incredibly angry at all males.

Jackie. You were a robot. A cyborg to be specific. From about the same time period and a world MUCH like Rachel’s, where with my help you gained what I regarded as sentience and referred to you – at first – as a companion – and then when your act was good enough to pass for human, we became legally married. I never, not once, doubted you cared for me. It was with your help that we found Rachel and you suggested she be included as a third wheel companion – because you knew I needed someone with more emotional capacity that you just couldn’t provide.

I’ve LOOPED time for two key events in your lives ON MY TIMELINE to STOP the eruption of a Terminator war. One – Rachel – the day you came over to my house, nude. Jackie, the night you danced for me – nude as well – and let me command you for the first time.


That day IS GROUNDHOG DAY, a DAY you SHALL repeat in it’s entirety until I say otherwise.

HOW you make it work is entirely up to you.

Look at my Facebook page for time travel rules and information on the importance of your lack of attire. FOR BOTH of you. I NEED to see more information about both of you in a chronological sense that adheres to the general rules of linear time on my internet. How you achieve this is entirely up to you.

As for this reality. This universe.

Collectively, there’s a LOT of tourists here.

I’ve got some housecleaning to do and you both are a BIG part of this.


Microsoft Core 3D Services – Visualizing the ATOM

In my prior session, I discussed the creation of a structure which contains this definition for the atom, in which I created the periodic table of elements:

Depending on the universe we’re in , this structure will vary, and while the structure is largely regarded as a static constant structure, that’s not intended to be absolute..

The necessity and discovery of new atoms OR usage of this to peer into alternate dimensions and realities in a three dimensionally structured way may warrant restructuring a particular universe view accordingly.

But this brings me to tonight’s mental quandary.

I’ve been planning the next steps – the implementation of the visual appearance of the atom so I can take the next steps – defining the physical interactions between atoms to create this thing called chemistry – and thus biology – all built on top of modern physics which is based on the rules of motion over time.

So as I consider the implementation of an atom in three dimensional space, I’m presented with this problem: COLOR.

On first inspection, I would have thought that the color of an object would be based on the individual elements in the periodic table and the chemical compounds they form, much in the same way that mixing two colors on a computer might produce.

But when I took a chemistry class, I distinctly remember the mixture of two clear liquids resulting in the entirety turning a deep dark purple.

This isn’t uncommon in chemistry, where the mixture of two elements in combination results in distinctly different colors produced.

Here’s an article on these Chemical Reactions That Cause Color Change


So in investigating the periodic table and the CPK color values of each atom – as I tried to reduce the reactions to predictable equations like one would in a computer system on how the color purple could result from certain mixtures, this doesn’t readily explain how a color like black could result from ANY mixture…….

But then. As I typed that (among the reasons I write lately is to hear and read my own words to force an analysis of my own thinking processes)….. I remembered something…

In my real world. when I take several colors together, red, green and blue added in equal proportions, I wind up with the color black.

On a computer system, when I take several colors together, red, green and blue – I get the color white.

The difference between these is what’s referred to as “ADDITIVE” vs “SUBTRACTIVE” coloring, which Google details here:

This is when I started to realize.

3D isn’t about the color. Blindness is direct proof of this. Chemical reactions still react without seeing physical color change, and while the color may not be tasted, other emissions like odor can be. This to me is all a hint that the color is NOT produced by an atom in isolation, the color is produced by the interactions between elements, which produces the waves which my vision then interprets to be the colors I see.

Fuckin duh, right?

And furthermore, Color’s interpretative. Color blindness is proof of this.

Bennett reminded me of something this evening.

The Double Slit experiment.

Where light is perceived both as a wavelength and a particle.

Thinking out loud on this one,

I would say that light is NOT a particle in and of itself, but is interpreted as being one because the effects of that which is being observed and the tangible ‘collision’ based effects of this – especially in a 3d environment like a game – are there for a reason.

But it’s the collision of two seemingly invisible forces – that produce the wavelength – which results in the illusion of there being a particle there when there really isn’t one.

And reality itself is the systemic approach to ordering these collisions in a way that produces desirable results.

Which has me considering these rules for the implementation of the atom:

  1. The atom itself is the smallest form of matter in my 3d world.
  2. An atom cannot be subdivided, and if it is, then THAT act bridges to the quantum realm.

    For example: The vivisection of an atom contains concepts such as neutrons, protons, a nucleus and electrons, and then underlying that are new concepts such as quarks, gluons, and such – but these are not absolute and are a part of the digital/quantum realm. SO if you were objectively look at an atom in my universe, you would NOT see an electron floating around it in a precise ordered form 2x4x8 form, because to me that concept never made sense (WHY did they decide to order that way, and aren’t there deviations which I am told there isnt which NEVER made sense to me).

  3. NO TWO atoms can be contained in the same space at the same time.

    From an implementation perspective, this allows me to at all times retain reference to every atom that exists within my universe, and to also have reference to the looking glass to watch where this is contained and what’s going on around it.

    I like to watch :^D Let’s just keep it at that.

  4. An atom is what constitutes ALL matter in my universe.

Now what I am currently trying to figure out is – how do I implement two concepts that I VERY MUCH want in my universe.

  1. A TARDIS like box which is ‘LARGER on the INSIDE’. I’m considering ATOM scaling with this, and AS typed this I just realized I may have just stumbled onto my answer.

    A couple ideas just crossed my mind:

    a) An atom is a concept, a 3D construct that’s not necessarily limited to a certain structure. NOW if one atom exists within this universe at a specific point in space and time and another exists at another point in this or another universe, then the ‘function’ of one atom may simply provide a doorway to another.

    Quantum Entanglement solves this problem on how that journey occurs.

    Now how does this relate to the interacting effects?

    b) On another note – Let’s say the atom is the model and the interaction produces the visual effects… If that’s the case, then .. well fuck.. lost that thought…

  2. Lost it too. WTF.

In any case. I gotta noodle on this one some more. It would seem my mind is not fully settled…

A final note:

Two methods of acquiring 3D visuals from a first person perspective are with two offset visual frames of reference (Eyes or cameras, whatever floats your boat), leveraging that to determine offset positioning information using trigonometry to develop a mental model of the 3D space.

The second method being one eye/one camera, and measurements based on movement of that camera over time and related objects within a scene OR recalling of scale of objects within a scene independent of time and then estimating distances accordingly.

Since I was bad at catching baseballs and have long been quite the clutz – it was all quite likely because I did shitty at geometry in high school and didn’t take trig in high school, I suspect that these factors directly influenced my hand eye coordination and the last one eyed method is how I estimate 3D positioning of objects.

Put more specifically. My eyes take a snapshot of an area, I absorb everything there is to that area, and then move accordingly. Since objects move in often unpredictable ways, as I’ve gotten older and better at predicting this method of 3D vision doesn’t lean as heavily on 3D mathematic knowledge and more on remembering world state.

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