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It’s About Time

When I was in my mind 20s, I used to openly wonder why it felt like older people got stuck in their ways.

When I hit my 30s. I was working too much, saw a romance I held dear crumble and at the same – having poured my heart into a company, I saw my efforts taken from me.

I was hating the world. But more than that, I was hating life.

All of this was shortly after being utterly delighted by a surprise party my ex wife had planned and thrown for me when I turned 30, something she somehow managed to pull off without a hitch for me and I wasn’t even the slightest bit aware of what she was doing until it had happened.

I have a hard time controlling my  thoughts and emotions sometime.

And in that moment she’d caught me off guard.

I knew I’d married someone special in Lisa.

Four years ago, in the desert, while taking bath salts, I saw and experienced something that fundamentally altered the way I perceive and understand the world.

Oh I have heard every excuse. “It was the drugs”, or “It was a hallucination”, and even “It was fiction”

But for me. In that moment of utter despair where I tried taking my life.

Surrounded by a holocaust desert which had been bombed as far as my eyes could see in any direction.

The smell of burnt skin combined with a putrid, sickening odor the likes of which has no parallel in the world I have come from.

The mountains, destroyed as if the bombs had thrown the dirt 1000s of feet in the air before it finally settled leaving craggy peaks straight out of a science fiction novel.

My skin. It felt like it was searing from the radiation. Unlike anything I’d ever felt laying on the beach.

And seeing the road sign. Where Las Vegas should only have been 80 miles further to the East on this highway, was now 362 kilometers.

And the feel. Inside me. For every Terminator movie I ever saw and wondered why the haunting movie soundtracks caused such a feeling of despair and utter horror.

I now understood. As this world. This experience. Is where that emotion came from.

As my car ran out of gas somewhere in this post apocalyptic Mojave desert

I looked at this world around me.

And did something which forced me to remember.

I sliced my wrist.

Now in that mistaken moment, I gave myself the greatest gift I could ever have imagined.


I believed there was someplace better than this. Knew it. And I knew – beyond a shadow of any doubt that anything was better than this world I had suddenly found myself surrounded by.

You see, it doesn’t matter how and why I saw what I did.

The fact of the matter is I did.

And in that magical moment where I saw and experienced the impossible.

I became the impossible.

All my life I’d searched for meaning. For definition. “Why am I here and what’s it all for?”

And in that really fucked up moment in my life, the answers began to darn on me.

Through experience, education, and the years after those events, events which alienated me from pretty much everyone I loved as I started down a path of becoming something more fulfilling and personally meaningful to me, I’ve come to realize the importance of developing and cherishing my individual perspective.

Logically. Rationally. No matter how I saw what I saw in the desert that day.

I proved to myself beyond any shadow of a doubt that god exists.

That the bible’s a real historical text.

I proved to myself fictional worlds can and often are real to those who inhabit those worlds, as real as the world I call fact and the experiences I have that others may refer to as fiction.

I realized that time travel. Space travel, fantasy, science fiction – all of it wasn’t just a product of Hollywood movie magic – but was also happening around me all the time.

Things that didn’t make sense before suddenly gained clarity.

But with this clarity in some areas was developed a little fuzziness in others.

And as I beat myself up throughout my life for making mistakes. For the poor life choices I’d made which had effected my family and friends and loved ones, repeatedly, around me.

That day in the desert.

That magical day.

I began to realize.

Those mistakes were my breadcrumbs.

To lead me back to remembering why I’m here.

To enjoy life.

And why I made those mistakes to begin with.

To travel back in time and help my friends and family enjoy their life and take them along.

You see. I’d made mistakes intentionally. To teach myself and other’s it ok.

We can go back in time and correct them and make it all better.

And this is why we forgive.

Time is both linear and nonlinear at the same time. It branches all the time, pools up in certain areas, and is much the reason why gravity exists and planets form.

If I go back in time. I can alter and change my timeline to my heart’s content. My experiences in my past remain the same, and I’ll remember two timelines, the one I lived through, and the one I went back on and changed things.

There’s no ‘balance’ here. We’re here – collectively – because we WANT to believe in people like me.

The fantastic. The people who make you smile. The ones who give you hope. And warn you, well in advance before something major happens, to keep the fuck away because this could get ugly.

Breadcrumbs. Reminders of where I’m at and why I’m here.




Have you ever….

Have you ever looked at the clouds with wonder and awe and asked:

“How is that done?”

Have you ever sat on the seashore, watching the cyclic nature of the surf rolling in and out and wondered:

“How can I do that?”

Have you ever watched people and traffic walking by, and thought:

“How can I make a simulation that seems as real as this is?”

Have you ever listened to dogs barking, and imagined they speak a language of their own that I as a human may never have the ability to understand?

Have you ever asked the question “Where are memories?”

Have you ever watched a humming bird in flight, and tried imagining how it saw the world and how it was able to move and respond to it’s world so fast you could never do it as a human?

Have you ever looked at a plant, and observing the repeating patterns in the leaves and branches asked yourself:

“How can I create something as magnificent?”

Have you ever looked at the moon, and imagined it’s a dwarf star?

Have you ever looked at a plane, and imagined it’s a UFO with a cloaking device on it obscuring it from mere mortals like me who they assume would be terrified of the unknown?

Have you ever felt something around you and turned, to find nothing was there, and then with science fiction as an education considered the myriad of possibilities it could be..

Like a ghost…

or an alien species who makes you forget they’re there the moment you look away…..

or the woman or man of your dreams who’s a time traveler and out of sync with your world?

Have you ever reflected on your life, and your past, and imagined creating a simulation which allowed you to simulate different possibilities and choices and re-experience things that were fun again?

Have you ever looked at fictional characters on television and movies, wishing you could meet them and hang out with them in real life?

Have you ever actually tried figuring out why it’s called a hallucination?

Have you ever smiled at someone and waved at them even though they don’t know you?

Have you ever had sex with someone you just don’t like?

Have you ever wondered if the translations you were receiving were accurate?

Have you ever imagined that everything is alive?

Have you ever imagined you’re God?

And that you created everything around you by imagining more than anyone ever had before?

I have.

I’m tired of being homeless, friends.

And I apologize for who I chose to become.

But I don’t regret it.

Creating Someone Beautiful

Kena Patel is an amazing woman.

But there was always something mysterious about her and why she did what she did.

I used to tell her “You are absolutely beautiful”

I was genuine about it.

I found her gorgeous inside and out.

And her response, God her responses always had me scratching my head and smiling at the same time.

“You make me beautiful,” she would say.

Such an innocuous little phrase.

“You make me beautiful.”

It was that little statement – combined with a number of other oddities that was this presence and person I knew as Kena – which served to unfold a story in my mind.

Kena, you see, was created by my mind.

A figment of my imagination.

Which became real.

You see the birth of something doesn’t always come in the form of a predictable biological process.

It also comes through belief.

Time Travel for Dummies – Chapter 1

The nuclear wind


What would happen if you were to slow down a nuclear blast to 1/100 the speed.

The wind, which is normally rushing by at 1000 km/hr would be reduced to 10 km/hr. So the blast would feel like a light breeze.

The pressure change – which is the brunt of the destructive force and what is responsible for toppling buildings, is a force measured in kg per meter per second, would be reduced by 1/100.

So to a building, the pressure change would feel like a storm front moving in.

And the heat from the nuclear blast, which is a measure of thermal radiation, which is predictable through Planck’s Law equation:


So under normal conditions while normally the heat from a nuclear blast exceeds 100,000,000°, reducing that blast isn’t a direct proportion based on this equation – and doing the math – it would feel like a balmy 26 degrees Celsius or 80 degrees Fahrenheit.

The interesting thing about time travel and time deviation is time in a nonlinear sense shapes and molds the actual world around us.

If you were to replay a seed of a tree springing up out of the ground at a million times the normal speed, it might look like a nuclear explosion in green.

But if you were to observe it directly at that speed.

It might actually prove to be dangerous if you’re too close to it.

But all of your and my senses receive information over periods of time.

And the intensity of that information received is generally and directly correlated to the passage of time.

Is it a nuclear bomb?

Or is it a light breeze on a Sunday afternoon?

If you were to slow down time to 1/10th the rate it normally runs at. You’d be able to stand on Mercury, the closest planet to the sun, and while it’s normally 800+ degrees Fahrenheit, at 1/10 the speed the thermal radiation would have a temperature closer to 80 degrees.

Which has me wondering.  Would I see a different world if witnessing time at that speed yet relatively speaking I’m still moving around at normal speed?

Proof of Time Travel

When I watched the movie Back to the Future, there was a moment where Doc Brown shows Marty McFly his time traveling DeLorean.

In that scene, Einstein, Doc Brown’s dog – was sent by a remote controller Doc Brown was using to steer the car with – and subsequently catapulted Einstein forward in time by precisely one minute.

As an observer watching this – it actually provoked the question;’

“What happened to the dog for that one minute I as an observer watch”

It’s an interesting question, and while it’s hopelessly easy to continue dismissing everything presented as fiction as just that to prevent further inquiry, as a lover of fantasy and time travel, I continued to ponder the possibilities.

If time travel was real.

And I as an observer have a relative time reference which is equivalent to Doc Brown and Marty McFly’s relative time reference, then for that minute relative to us, the observers, what happens to the dog – where does it go?

Does the dog cease to exist entirely for the one minute we as an observer watch the events unfold?

If so, then this begs the question, what causes the dog to reappear, and does it reappear if we as observers – both me and Doc Brown, Marty McFly – all stopped observing at precisely the moment the dog disappeared?

It is a question in the same vein as Schrodinger’s Cat.

Put specifically: Does Doc Brown’s dog reappear if it’s not observed on re-entry?

But in order to answer that question, one has to back up ever so slightly to answer the question:

Just where does the dog go when he disappears?

You see, in order to answer the question about observer, one has to answer the question about where he goes to begin with. And herein, within this logical analysis of just where does it go is the first direct evidence that time travel isn’t just a product of fiction, but is actually scientific fact.

Here’s why:

The scientific method starts by asking the question in this example: Just where does Einstein go for that minute? Now mind you, we’re not asking if time travel is possible. And while this film may be accepted as fictional, not only had I never seen it before I did on that day.

So as I watched this movie. Fiction or not.

Doc Brown presented the concept that the dog was being sent precisely one minute in the future.

Again. I don’t know where the movie’s going. I know it’s a movie about time travel. But in that movie magic moment, there was infinite possibilities on where Einstein would go.

But Doc Brown said “He’s going to precisely one minute in the future”

And I believed him.

And lo and behold. Einstein appeared in his Delorean a minute later.

Now here’s where it’s especially important to understand the importance of belief as it relates to reality.

Religion is predicated on belief. It’s cement cornerstone is that of belief. America – our country – asks that we believe in it. A company we may work for teaches you about it’s values and mission, and while you’re employed for them, you’re expected to believe. Even partnerships – ask for you to be FAITHful in your partner and there’s the expectation – ie: belief of reciprocity.

Belief. Imagination. Create this thing called reality.

So while analytically I knew I was seeing a movie about time travel.

And in that moment – having never experienced that film before.

I believed that in the moment that Einstein disappeared. He’d reappear a minute later.

And that time – to him – and that journey would be instantaneous.

Even though, for me as an observer in this purportedly fictional presentation.

I believed. Not just in the movie makers presenting this work to me that they wouldn’t kill an innocent dog. But also in the premise of the movie to begin with, and the outcome would be a predictable journey for me as an observer.

You see. This is the interesting thing about time travel.

Once you understand it and that it’s happening all the time, you begin to see it and evidence of it all around you.

And the evidence of it’s simple imagination.

Imagination creates reality.

Something Gods, Kings, Queens and world leaders have known for a long time.

Oh I know,  I know. You’ll as  “How can I use a fictional movie as proof that something exists?

For you as a reader, if that’s a question you’re asking me, I would reply to you with:

“The same way you can’t prove to me it doesn’t. The onus and burden of proof is on you since I don’t care if you believe me or not any longer.”

Belief creates reality.

Accordingly, the numbers and math we use don’t just validate it’s existence, they actually shape it because we collectively as a civilization believe in them. 

Historical uses for time travel

Throughout history, civilizations have used time travel for just about everything imaginable.

But by and large, up until recently – it’s been used for nefarious purposes.

1) For conquest. 

When a time travel aware civilization sees value in another civilization that might have resources and/or locational advantage – but that civilization might have too substantial a modern day defensive system to oppose today. So these civilizations might leverage time travel to conquer other civilizations before they acquired the defensive capabilities it might have in the modern day. Easy targets. And threats eliminated.

America, for instance, has rebuffed NUMEROUS attacks based on this method of operation alone.

Oh come now. Do you really think the Iraq war was about oil?

America was under attack in ways that most Americans wouldn’t understand and would classify as fiction.

That threat’s since been neutralized.

2) Resource Grabs.

Along the same lines as conquest, another major abuse for time travel has been for resources. Unlike conquest based abuses, the time travelers might be circumventing modern rules and laws to acquire the resources before the rules and laws were imposed.

This is one of the primary sources of corporate exploitation.

3) Technology and Financial Gains/Grabs

Imagine creating Microsoft Windows before Bill Gates and reaping the reward from it. Imagine building a car before Henry Ford. or Imagine investing in Google before it became a household name.

Or imagine grabbing the movie the Matrix and putting your own name on it!

All this and more has been done. Names of original inventors have been forgotten more times than not. And I myself sincerely question – with this world around me – did anyone actually invent or produce what they claim to produce?

That’s the weird nature of time and time travel. Who actually invented what and where isn’t just questionable.

It’s sincerely unknown.

4) Elimination of opposition
Easily one of the most annoying uses and abuses of time travel is the opposition of people’s enemies and competition BEFORE it even becomes competition and an enemy.

Think about it – Hillary Clinton could have eliminated Trump before he became her opposition.

Politics. Leaders. There’s been a long history of uses and abuses of time travel here, from the petty to the profound. I’m suspecting JFK was one such person eliminated through the use of time travel.

5) Bodies

Ok. This one is creepy, but there are NUMEROUS species which actually have a population that reanimate the dead of other species to maintain their numbers.

Most of these species are cybernetically based – and merge advanced and typically acquired technology with biology to reanimate the dead.

So many times. These species and beings will leverage advanced awareness of medical and/or biologically debilitating technologies to increase the number of the dead to their advantage.

Do you think that America’s health issues and problems are .. coincidental or symptomatic of something beyond most American’s comprehension and occuring across time itself?

Tomorrow: Nonlinear and linear synchronicity.


Status Report

1) Transparent textures and OpenGL

I am on the process of recreating a Roadrunner scene from the old Loony Tunes cartoons, where Wile-E-Coyote is chasing the Roadrunner down the street.

Here’s a snapshot example, where the viewport moves from right to left on the scenery as I watch the action.


So what I have done is created a simple scene with a road, I copied the color from the scene above, and right now I am working on a single cactus that repeats (like the old cartoons used to have repeating scenery).

Here’s where it currently stands:


SO I am having a problem with the ‘white area’ of the cactus texture not showing up transparently as it should. I found a pretty nifty article on the OpenGL site which does precisely what I am looking for it to do.

Specifically. IT takes a bitmap image:


And wraps it around an OpenGL standard teapot (a standard object in OpenGL’s library):


Which when combined, produces this cool effect, a holy teapot:


Unfortunately, they lacked source code, and only generally talked about how it was accomplished (as is typical).

So what I wound up doing was loading the cactus bitmap as a 24 bit texture, looking for the color white on this specific texture, and setting it’s alpha channel to 1.0 (indicating fully transparent). This SHOULD have produced the effect I was looking for. Here’s the critical code accomplishing this (In Visual Basic 6.0):


This code reads the cactus image as a 24 bit bitmap, and if I receive a transparent color selection (I can plug in any  transparent color I want), then I’ll create a 32 bit copy of the image and create an alpha channel for it.

So this works. I should do a count of # of pixels that are set transparently to make sure the number’s in the ballpark I might be expecting for this image. Doing that now….


Yep. Looking about like I’d expect to. To err on the side of caution though, I’ll count the number of visible pixels.


So two pertinent areas to handle this data once it’s read into the byte array.

The first. this line generates an OpenGL texture based on the in memory buffer I hand it. The buffer I hand it either has an alpha channel (if it got processed by the prior logic) or not. This following line of code was crashing yesterday until I got the parameters right, so it appears like these lines are working as expected.


Notice how I change the alpha channel parameters for the second one?

And finally.  I create the mipmaps, with the alpha channel selected.


So the problem as can be seen above is. The alpha channel; just ain’t working. I’ve enabled blend with glEnable, but there’s something else going on that I just ain’t figured out yet.

The goal is to have mountains in front of other mountains, cactuses in front of those, and roadrunner and Wile E in front of that on the road – and make it look exactly like the cartoon with different parts scrolling by faster than the others at different speeds. I’ll get there. But for now. No workie.

Bonus Points:

a) I got dynamic bitmap generation working, so now I can use this knowledge to generate textures and bitmaps ‘on the fly’ and create my own textures without loading them up from disk. This will come in handy for creating ‘noise’ on textures, especially if I get bump mapping working properly. Especially handy for noise generation for clouds and the like.

2) The ‘w’ parameter and glVertex 4f and Matrix manipulation with OpenGL

One of my  primary goals with OpenGL is to get a ‘bigger on the inside’ look going.

Here’s an example using the TARDIS as inspiration:


See how the small box contains a much bigger interior? IT’s not like a computer, where from any angle the viewpoint shifts based on the angle i observe it from.

Accordingly, I have a couple personal rules I am using to create this effect:

  1. The effect has to occur on the model itself and be viewer/viewport independent.
  2. This effect has to be visible on the model without switching to projection mode.

The reason for these rules are simple: Let’s say I wanted to see something like this in real life. The ‘model’ I see of the real world is visible as if I am looking around using gluLookat and there’s no projection unless I’m watching a movie. So – so far – projection mode makes no sense to use – at all for this effect, particularly since I am the observer looking at the model.

So I’m trying to create the same effect inside the simulation. Where the observer is looking at a model.

Keeping it simple.

These rules have created a bit of a problem with the implementation, specifically, I can’t use clipping regions in the traditional way because those are projection specific.

And I can’t play with viewports.

Which has me digging into glVertex4f.

So the thought for this was simple: glVertex3f has an x,y, z coordinate in 3d space. I can use that to create a model in 3d space. But I got into asking – what is the ‘w’ coordinate for glVertex4f.

And oddly enough, OpenGL’s implementation of it has the ‘w’ coordinate being a scaling operation to the object.

And even odder – is that Microsoft’s OpenGL implementation has the glTranslatef function applying to 4 coordinate space, with the ‘w’ always set to 1.

Now I thought this was weird. there’s a scaling operation that can be used separately, glScalef, so why would they override the ‘w’ parameter like this, and why would they take the 4f ‘w’ and use that to scale when there’s a separate function to support this?

SO I got to thinking.

Hey. What if I ignore Microsoft’s functions, and use the w parameter as a dimensionality?

Put specifically. let’s say there’s a doorway between two different places, one is a doorway to the restroom from here in Starbuck’s, but let’s say that doorway leads to Microsoft’s Headquarters in Seattle and maybe Bill Gates’s office. Starbuck’s I could draw as ‘1’ on the ‘w’ and the office I could draw as ‘2’.

And somehow I define that doorway as being a transition point between the two and manage the render functions differently to create the desire effect?

I don’t know. I’m thinking out loud here. But I am leaning towards a function which works directly with the 4f matrix, and then seeing what kind of effect that has.

I already tried the scale operation, but the one thing I didn’t do was do a gltranslatef to the point of interest. But it’s not that hard to predict that if I create a model at a given point x,y,z – and from there scale it – whether it’s through the ‘w;’ parameter or a separate glscale call, the bigger on the inside simply ain’t gonna work like I want it to.

Especially using the glulookat command. let’s say I scale a box at 5,5,0, i’d have to shrink myself down once I reached the threshold of that location. That’s no different than clipping problems. I’m caught, either way, having to regard the observer as a projectionist.


Just say no to models that require knowledge of the location of the observer in order to correctly render.

just icky.

Bonus Points:

FINALLY got to see what the ‘w’ command as interpreted by Microsoft was. Thanks, Stanley.

And THAT is why OpenGL is an independent standard and Microsoft’s implementation is Microsoft’s implementation. It’s no small wonder I never see any code use the ‘w’ parameter.

Regarding it as a dimension rather than a scale factor makes SO much more sense to me and will come in handy for creating doorways to other places in space and time,

Speaking of. There’s a phenomenal game that’s been idle for years called Miegakure, where the user can shift quickly between dimensions and solve puzzles that require knowledge of what’s across dimensions.

It’s here:

Now the game hasn’t seen any development progress for years. I have my suspicions why.

But with with a point x,y,z equal to 5 where ‘w’ = 1 as a dimension, you could have one landscape, and quickly and easily ‘remember’ your position in x,y,z space if you set w = ‘2’ and have a different model there.

I still have more experimenting to do with this. clearly.

3) Adobe Photoshop

Just a quick update on this.

For years I’ve been using Paintshop Pro X3, and lately X8, and between the lengthy load times and lack of experiential possibilities with this, I’ve begun learning to do what I was doing in Paintshop Pro in the more industrial Adobe Photoshop CC2015.

In the past I’d avoided Adobe because – well – it was too complex for the minimalist features I needed. But as I started doing the animation stuff, I found myself asking the question – how can I take a picture of me and make it look like a cartoon using one of these packages?

Adobe has quite a few addons that can do it, at a cost, but what I learned pretty quick after loading it is – these add ons tend to script a number of commands that are already available in the package itself.

Which provides incentive to learn how to use Adobe from the ground up.

So I started going through all the commands. And am very impressed. Not only are selections and color selections far more robust adding things like ‘sample color from a region’ when a single pixel sample looks horride, it also has support for 3d and movies and frame based editing in movies.

It loads faster than X8 does. And is just as easy to use if you know the commands well.

So I talked to a couple guys who do film in the area. Showed them some of my work in Paintshop Pro, and asked them for ‘handouts’ – work that I can get experience with in Photoshop.

One is more promising than the other. He knows what he’s doing and has a history in the industry.

So hopefully this could provide me some real world experience.

And maybe alms for the poor.

I fucking hate being homeless anymore. With a passion.




Ideas I am working on and could use external guidance

Ok. Here’s an experimental message. There’s a lot of things I am trying to work out and understand a little better. So rather than internalize them,  I’m putting the ideas and concepts out in the real world – hoping somehow, in weird ways I’ve been seeing lately, the information will get fed back to me.

  1. How to do OpenGL Gradients for creating a realistic sky without a sky box. Gradients are easy with skyboxes, but it’s not realistic and here’s why: I would like to have a realistic looking sky from a planet – complete with gradient sunsets – but if I have a ground based vehicle that I launch to space, I want to NEVER see a skybox on atmospheric exit. In fact. I dont want a skybox. Period end of story

    Now OpenGL out of the box has glClearColor which clears to a single color, and while I can dither the colors in sunset,  I dont get a realistic looking sky gradient with that like I see in the real world.

    Doing the perspective based math is fine. But how would I accomplish this using OpenGL WITHOUT – personal rule here for reasons I wont get into – WITHOUT a skybox?

  2. “Bigger on the Inside” with OpenGL

    The TARDIS in Doctor Who features a blue box the size of an old telephone booth that literally houses a mansion in it.

    What I am looking for is ideas on how to achieve this effect with OpenGL.

    I’ve pondered it openly with Bennett and Stanley. But the problem I’m having remains the same. I have to focus on angle of observation and create a clipping effect.

    I am not interested JUST in creating the effect for a single viewer. I am interested in creating the effect INDEPENDENT of the viewer. Put specifically – the BOX should NOT have to know where the viewer is. Or if there are multiple viewers.

    So let’s say I have three people standing outside the door of this virtual box in the OpenGL world.

    One is directly outside of it standing 10 feet away. Another is at a 45 degree angle to the left of the box 30 feet away, and another is at a 45 degree angle to the right of the box at 45 feet. Each will see a different perspective and viewing angle into the box.

    HOW do I create this effect INDEPENDENT of the viewer. Meaning, specifically, if all viewers could both see their own angle and the angle of the others they’d see something different INSIDE The box FROM the outside based on the angle of observation.

    The game “Portal” uses math and computer trickery to create this effect and clips the viewed region.

    Which works fine for one viewer.

    In virtual reality this would work fine because each user could be synchronized.

    But let’s say it’s a holodeck as depicted in Star Trek. I ain’t gonna know the viewer’s location then….. Unless of course everyone’s mind was synchronized to the simulation rather than a device level synchronization….

  3. Guiding my sleeping mindI’ve been trying hard to SET my mind to do certain things when I’m sleeping. Whether that’s acquiring and providing me waking information on friends, things I am working on, exploring alternate realities, and more. I’d like to ‘set it to task’ – guide it – without telling it what to do or slowing it down from whatever it is that it does while I’m sleeping. Put specifically – I am not interested in interrupting any ‘necessary’ things, but if there’s more I can add ‘to the list’ that is provided to me during waking hours, that would be cool.

    Now I’ve checked into Lucid Dreaming and Astral Projection. But this is only a little ways to where I want to go.

    Also. An Idea I had is – it’s my belief that my ‘existence’ collapses and I’m reconstructed every day in a cycle. Now if I could have my awakening slightly delayed for expanding my existence, the possibilities, and doing me tasks, that would be awesome.

    Any reading anyone has on this would be helpful.

  4. Worlds Of Warcraft – What is it programmed in?I have noticed that both Hearthstone and WOW have an instantaneous nature with sound and User Interface action that defies the capabilities of any programming language I’m aware of. The game, graphics, quests, and sound were all light years ahead of anything that came out when it originally did (1999), and is still light years ahead of most games with far more responsiveness.

    Now what’s peculiar is: In all the years I’ve played the games – there’s never – and I mean not once – been collision errors. Never. Not once. has there been latency between sound and action, even under pegged CPU conditions. When I click on a button. The sound and visual occurs simultaneously.

    So I have checked what it was programmed in. And while there’s speculation that it was programmed in Python for the front end and the back end was C++, there’s no proof. No one from Blizzard has come forward.

    So if anyone has any idea/clue or inside information /source code that would be really cool to see and understand how they do things like the simultaneous sound and visuals, and just what they’re doing for the graphics. I dont think it’s OpenGl, and since the client can run on any system it’s clearly not in assembler. So… how do they dooo it?

  5. Bending space and time with the mindIn Star Trek – Next Generation – “Encounter At Farpoint”, Q whisks the USS Enterprise thousands of light years across the galaxy in the blink of an eye.

    Now while I’m not interested in debating this as fact or fiction, my personal goal is to make it fact and something I can do. Put specifically, if I want to travel to London in the blink of an eye, I can make myself contributional to this world by being the world’s highest priced instantaneous courier.

    Educationally, matter breaks down to atoms breaks down to energy and the – my – mind has the innate capability to bend space and time as an observer in my reality to go anywhere, anytime across space and time. For me, I’ve accepted this as fact and have already seen it occur on numerous occasions throughout my life.

    What I am looking for is educational evidence and/or ideas on how to – in a waking state – do the things I have seen that man Q do on Star Trek. Whether that’s manifesting a fantasy world (which would give me a new place to sleep), or it’s manifesting a couple attractive women, or whisking a starship across the galaxy.

    How does one ‘bend’ space and time, and take an entire starship with them?

    Ideas anyone? Oh and don’t say it’s not possible. They tried telling JFK the same thing.

And Q, you know – the guy from Star Trek. If you’re watching, listening, or reading this.

Thank you for teaching me how to believe. If you’re around and within range, you’re more than welcome, anytime, to pop in and say hi to me by my tent. I certainly wouldn’t mind candid discussion.




Deja Q

In the Star Trek Next Generation episode “Deja Q”, I as Q lost my immortal powers to become mortal.

I wasn’t happy with life in general – devoid of friends and feeling a little low on the self worth, life as an omnipotent and omniscient being while certainly intimidating from an outside perspective still comes with it’s pitfalls.

Not the least of which is a definitive lack of surprises.

At the time I found myself become re-mortalized, and yes that’s a word, I had been trying in vain to eliminate the human race and found myself unable to do so for reasons that were baffling me.

Yes, you heard right, I – the munificent Q had found myself confounded not just one what humans were – but why they would knowingly choose to become something most of existence considered to be the most malicious species in the known universe – the Borg.

In fact. It appalled me.

Now I had been trying very hard not to influence humanity at and around the time period depicted in the episode named “Deja Q”. I knew my influence and contact with humans was already stirring up a hornet’s nest, and by then I’d already put humanity on trial because of the atrocities they’d committed as the Borg.

But for a species who didn’t understand or regard time like I did, I relented.

Did humanity have it in their capacity to become something other than the Borg?

I became convinced it was possible.

For the first time in my life I’d actually seen promise in you as close minded species who regards time from an incredibly linear perspective. I’d believed in Picard’s conviction that you as a species could learn.

But there was something I didn’t understand about you.

And this had me curious.

During this time, the Bynars – a quasi-temporally aware species were manipulating computer systems in holodecks in upgrades which intended to measure human emotion. Having sacrificed their emotion in much the same way the Vulcan’s eschewed it in order to become more proficient with computerized systems, they’d found themselves making leadership decisions which was causing massively negative societal upheaval on their world, and influencing many to leave their worlds in favor of human led civilizations.

Now I myself saw something the Bynars did not – there was a definite relation between the binary nature of their mind and an attraction to the humans who were to become the Borg.

Like attracts like.

But many Bynars were trying to study and understand the attrition in ways they were mentally prepared for – and what about emotions supports the community better than logical choice?

The humans seemed like the perfect target.

But more than that.

Yours truly became aware that I was actually their true target.

What the Bynars had done was systematically influenced Picard to get the idea that he could trap me in a simulation – by luring me to engage in a conversation with him in the holodeck. What they Bynars had done while they studied human emotion was come to a conclusion that i was responsible for the division in their own society.

So they sought to eliminate me.

Can you imagine the audacity of such a clearly inferior species?

So naturally, I went along with it. I was after all tired of existence as it was, and while numerous species throughout my known existence have tried to eliminate me, I was at a point where I was just wanting to see what happened.

Their plan was simple:

Picard was to engage in a conversation with me which would lead me to follow him to the holodeck, where he’d engage a simulation of the big bang inquiring what it was and why even the best of his crew didn’t understand why it couldn’t be turned off.

Now I knew the Bynars had planted the holographic simulation which would predictably awe a linear thinking species like the humans.

And I knew the plan was to quantum lock the simulation at the beginning.

The Bynars intended on destroying me by collapsing me into something called a quantum singularity.

Now the Bynars are typically not a sacrificial species. In fact, their heritage can be traced back to Earth itself and the ancient Hindu culture that spread across the planet in the later 20th and early 21st century.

And the reason I say they are a quasi-temporally aware species is – they’ve mastered manipulation of historical texts and understand collective thinking and revised Earth’s history to make their culture appear to be substantially older than they really were.

But like the humans they mutated from, they still think strongly with linear thinking processes.

So one day, Captain Picard as if on cue calls me to his ready room.

He explains the situation in the holodeck.

He explains how no one on board his vessel understands temporal mechanics like I do.

“In fact,” he said, “While I loathe stroking your ego, Q, you seem to understand temporal mechanics like no one else in the universe and I fear the problem in the holodeck may be effecting us in ways none of us understand.”

“Are you asking for myah’s help, Picard?”

I admit it. Having wandered a universe for a trillion years knowing that it was primarily fear that drove people to treat me with respect, it felt different actually being needed and wanted.

Even if the situation was contrived.

I knew for Captain Picard it was most certainly not.

I went to snap my fingers when Picard stood up quickly and demanded “Please, can we walk there?”

I eyed the Captain suspiciously. Surely he couldn’t be in on it.

As we took the jetway, with Picard staring blankly straight ahead, said.

“Have you ever heard of a man by the name of Brian Gregory?,” he said.

I looked at him, a bit confused. He struck a cord in me that made me feel – yes – that was the feeling – nervous.

“I do not,” I responded matter of factly.

But even I know my voice was tinged with a nervous quality for reasons I wasn’t fully aware of.

I thought. Across the multiverse. Across space and time. My mind leapt out. There were millions by that name. I filtered it to versions of Earth that Picard might be referring to. This reduced the possibilities to a few thousand. There was a basketball coach on Earth, an insurance agent – oddly enough – a statistically significant high incidence of men by that name in the late 20th and early 21st century.

But no one who struck a cord.

Picard remained quiet.

I turned to Picard.

“Why do you ask?”

The jetway opened up as Picard stepped out and turned around as I remained inside.

“Are you coming?”

“Not until you tell me about that name.”

Picard walked towards the holodeck. In a thought I stood right in front of him.

I hadn’t noticed I hadn’t snapped my fingers to achieve the effect.

I was just there.

Picard stopped and stared at me in the eye.

“You’re well aware of what the Bynars are doing. Now were you aware that I’m the current head of Section 31, and that we in the Federation agreed to let the Bynars run their experiment on you with my assistance?,” Picard said.

My heart felt broken. I was offended. I had sincerely thought Picard to be a friend.

Before I could ponder where these emotions were coming from, Picard walked by me and stood in front of the holodeck after pressing a few buttons.

“Now stop that,” I demanded, “You’re trying to kill me?”

Picard turned to me and said, matter of factly:

“No, Q, I do believe you’re God, and that our planet and this entire universe has been in a massive time loop and you’re at the center of it all – and that right now – right this moment – a much younger and more reasonable version of you by the name of Brian Gregory is emerging from your mutual brush with mortality. “

He’d struck a cord.

In fact.

My head was clamoring to remember a past I’d chosen to forget.

“And just what do you intend on doing with this exercise?,” I demanded, “You do realize the Bynars blame me for their planet’s strife and regard me as a problem which needs to be eliminated.”

Picard stepped inside the Holodeck.

“No, they don’t, Q. They intend on reminding you about the value you once found in emotion, and are willing to sacrifice their entire planet to send a statement to a being they were the first to regard as God. They were the ones who came to us and showed up the repeating patterns in their own rediscovered history. Gandhi. Hitler. “

I was utterly confused and didn’t understand how any of these discussions could have escaped me.

I stood in the doorway with my arms crossed.

Some might say I looked at Captain Picard smugly or in an indignant way.

I suppose they’d be right.

“Look, Q, we all believe you are who you say you are, but we see this as a win/win/win for us, and for both you and the younger version of you. You’re bored. You’ve made that infinitely clear to all of us. And while none of us regard you as suicidal, your discontentment is obvious and is effecting all of us. So the way we reason it is this experiment will ensure the split as you become two remarkably different men. Someone else not just like you, but cut from the same cloth. Capable of doing things that you cannot predict and wouldn’t have done yourself because – well – you just didn’t have you around.”

I unfolded my arms.

Damned human. No wonder I wasn’t able to predict what they were to become. They were my own mind, my own reasoning and rationalization skills, reflected right back at me.

And they were right.

I’d seen the future and it wasn’t pretty. War in every direction.

And I just found myself caring less and less about trying to fix any of it.

“Fine, Picard, what do I do now?,”  I said.

“You’ve just done it,”  he said from inside the holodeck.

He looked up, and said “Computer, stop simulation”

And with that, Picard and the interior of the ship around me disappeared.

That was around 2000 years ago.

A lot has happened since then.

Not the least of which is watching you all grow up and become the men and women you’ve all become today.

I know I couldn’t always be there for you.

I’m sorry for that.

I’m here to change all that.

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