Time can be fluid.
In much the same way a stream can flow off the tops of mountains into a river can flow into tributaries or branch and create other rivers which continue their journeys to the ocean, and then can evaporate from the ocean to form into clouds which repeats the entire cycle when rain falls back on the land and snows cover and melt off the tops of the mountains.
Time itself moves in much the same fashion based on the observer.
When it branches, I see those branches as alternate realities and alternate universes.
On television, I watch what happens in these branches through television shows such as Timeless where a man Al Capone may have escaped prosecution for tax evasion only to die days later at the hands of a time traveler days later.
In movies, I watch another branch where aliens unsuccessfully invade planet Earth in War of the Worlds, or another branch where Adolf Hitler is killed before he commits suicide in Inglorious Bastards, and yet another branch where a nearly invincible man and woman – cousins named Superman and Superwoman repeatedly save the world and serve as a symbol of hope for the entire world.
In a book, I read about another branch where young children find a wardrobe that links to another world where time moves much faster than the world they left at home. They grow to be adults, as Kings and Queens, Princes and Princesses, only to return as children again when they return.
And in comic books, I read about a branch where Jean Grey, otherwise known as Phoenix, a woman whose power had no bounds, destroyed herself as her power consumed her. In another comic book I read about a branch where she survives, and I learn why she had to die in the other comic book, because her power grew so strong she destroyed the entire universe.
In hallucinations I create windows to these alternate universes in my mind for my senses to directly experience these other worlds.
And in video games, I play characters as an avatar directly and indirectly interacting with the beings in these other worlds.
While I admit that the blanket classification of ‘fiction’ is a much easier label to swallow and understand, I personally have had to integrate and include various parts of these alternate realities into my reality to sustain my existence and sanity, as the label of fiction was no longer serving as a viable label to explain what I had been seeing and experiencing throughout my life.
But I’ll get to that in a moment.
First, a few definitions (which may be subject to later revision):
Using discrete methods and measurement systems – is the referencing of events that I, or ANY observer, experience(d) relative to the measurement system in use.
In general, these ‘discrete’ measurement systems have finite limits on lower and upper ends of magnitude.
For instance, with Earth based time, the second breaks down to the millisecond and even smaller – to the nanosecond, but discrete measurement systems tend to be limited in both accuracy and ability to acquire reliable information at extremely small and extremely large scales.
This does NOT mean that information does not exist in between these large and small intervals.
Events an observer experiences as they are experienced REGARDLESS of the discrete method of catalogue.
I for instance may witness an event that occurs by my watch at precisely 10:03 AM this morning. If I had an ultra high degree of accuracy, we could say that discretely this event happened – with a great deal of accuracy – at 10:03 and 2.172651762716217621716 seconds. From a cataloging perspective, this is highly accurate, but the limitation of discrete accuracy is still limited to the number of decimal places I can go, where eventually this extends to infinity, where discrete and the seemingly continuous nature of analog meet.
Theory: The analog is a collision of a potential infinite number of discrete sets, which is what creates the “quantum” world, where the sets that present themselves are introduced by choice and other sets are excluded accordingly which ultimately influence the analog observation and thus the discrete measurement and observations.
The human mind and technological devices receive ALL discrete possibilities, and passively filters out and frequently omits some of those sets while including others based on experience, education, choice, and more.
This creates ‘the human experience’.
A world other than my own where the discrete cataloging of events (history) which occur(ed) are different than my own.
Realities depicted in movies where the United States is invaded by North Korea (Red Dawn), or tv shows such as Sliders depicting worlds where the dinosaurs weren’t destroyed by an asteroid or Adam and Eve never wore clothes resulting in a naked version of the United States, or movies featuring superheroes such as the XMEN and Professor Xavier would all be classified as alternate realities.
Alternate realities TEND to involve differences and permutations of discrete time and correlated measurement and governing systems.
A world or set of worlds (and more) where time and space TEND to be governed by different laws of physics than that of my own.
A term I am still coming to form a definition for, perhaps I should reserve this as placeholders for determining where something belongs. For instance, if there is a spiritual realm, is it an alternate reality or alternate universe or something else entirely?
Exploration of space (which includes time)
Years ago, a probe was sent out by the United States known as the Pioneer.
In the last several decades, satellites have been sent out regularly by countries around the world.
These satellites have had to take into account DISCRETE variances in measuring time to maintain accuracy, but in doing so, may be bumping uglies with a problem introduced by observing and cataloging through discrete methods versus analog.
Here’s the problem in a nutshell:
A police officer measures the speed of a car using a radar which takes several discrete measurements over a finite period of time.
Now it’s important to understand that reality – as an analog, if my theory holds correct, is a sum total of a potentially infinite number of discrete possibilities reduced to a finite subset. As an observer, both my observations the devices I leverage tend to validate what we already believe to be true. So measurements taken and methods developed serve to validate the observations.
So yes, it’s my belief that the measuring equipment when influenced by the observers influenced by the observer.
Accordingly. If I were to take a hallucinogenic such as bath salts.
And take a digital camera with me.
THAT digital camera would be able to take a digital photo of the world I saw.
And be retained when I ‘came back’ to my ‘real world’ for others to see.
Taking this theory a step further.
It’s my belief that alternate realities, and even other countries have been influencing this, our reality, and these United States by using these same methods to our country’s extreme detriment.
Satellites, placed in orbit, while initial calculations may have corrected for deviations based on relativity and time, discrete time differences may be picking up signals from satellites which do NOT originate from our own world.
In a sense. I am suspecting that GPS satellites, among other things, are ‘jumping off the track’ in much the same way a record skips a groove, and this can and has been used to our – my country’s detriment.
To me. Personally. It means my standard of living is reduced. It means financial loss. TO banks and companies it means reduced competitiveness and loss, and potentially massive intellectual property leakage to other countries and companies overseas. To the country it means everything – from communications, to military, to government could be manipulated to the benefit of others.
Not always a bad thing. But if it’s undesirable. Well then.
For me. My only desire is really to begin exploring them. That’s all. Not to prove who’s right or wrong. But just to take pictures of the crazy worlds I have seen, and hopefully – hopefully – develop methods which don’t require such extreme demands on my body.
What creates a language?
I grew up right next door to Thunderbird, a graduate school focused specifically on International Management.
I never thought I would find the institution and it’s subject matter of any interest, and when I found out about the language requirement – you must know at least two languages in order to attend, I wasn’t torn up about it.
As I grew older, worked, and learned and as I piled year after year of education and experience on, enough education in credit hours to obtain three degrees in fact, and as my interest in this humble little institution increased, I couldn’t help but ask the question…
“Why were computer languages not counted as languages?”
By the time I had begun asking this question, I had known – fluently you could say – nearly 20 different programming languages, and have since picked up on about 10 more.
These languages “Didnt count”, I was told, and the requirement was strictly for human spoken languages.
I just didn’t understand why they’d make the distinction between human languages.
A part of the frustration was having had a history of trying to learn Spanish – with two years of high school and two years of college level education, and I would swear the language was changing over the years so much so that what I’d been taught a few years prior had changed so dramatically it was like learning a new language. Sure, I could ask for a beer or where the bathroom was, but I’d seen words like pescado and la playa change over the years.
For the longest time I questioned my own memory and retention.
But as I began traveling the world, I began to see Thunderbird as a wonderful potential avenue to explore the dynamics of the world.
It was then I began investigating programs where I could overcome the language requirement rather than struggle with continuing to learn a language which was undergoing constant change relative to my language – English.
Now I know, if you’re like my buddy Ricardo, who’s from Guatemala, you might say it’s my issue and I have memory problems.
And there was a time I would absolutely agree with you, had I not found personal evidence in absolutely unrelated areas that relativism – based on Einstein’s theories – effects a great deal of my life in what are often very frustrating ways that had me questioning my intelligence for a long time.
Put specifically. Where most people might have problems speaking to computers as I do in their native tongue – programming languages, I myself find computer based languages easy to interact with natural, and logically oriented.
Similarly. Physics, Math, Science, all have an order about them that’s easy for me to understand, but the moment humans and emotions are introduced to the equations…
Love. Anger. Resentment Passion. Guilt. etc.
Sure, I feel those emotions, but more often than not I didn’t like how those emotions overrode my rational behavior.
So when I learned that Thunderbird had a special program they’d formulated that would cater to students like me which would allow me to obtain an education from them, I jumped on it and – fortunately – was immediately accepted.
But as I attended the courses. And paid attention to my new friends who weren’t as linguistically challenged as I was. I had tucked away the language requirement as something to be understood as I moved forward.
As such a reputable institution, and having traveled a good deal by then, I couldn’t help but immediately dismiss the idea that Thunderbird was being naive about this requirement. I’d found value in trying to understand language differences, value I mentally wasn’t fully aware of the extent of as I obtained my MBA.
An MBA, if you’re not aware, is an education not just in how and what makes a business tick and how to make money, it’s an education on why businesses do what they do, the various types of businesses and how they correlate (and how to research those correlations) across borders, and how – to some degree – particularly in the international communities – they not only work outside of the law, but they often are indirectly and directly responsible for creating it.
But there’s something I think most students of Thunderbird and speakers of foreign languages don’t understand.
Particularly my good friend Ricardo.
Something I haphazardly discovered when I found a route into the program at Thunderbird as I found a better explanation for my lack of retention rather than repeatedly questioning my own mind. The truth was. I had ample evidence my mind and memory was performing just fine, it was just weird ‘key areas’ such as human language where I had issues.
No, Ricardo, it’s not because I have bad memory.
There’s a better explanation:
Defined: Language tends to progress and change relative to the culture and individuals who created it. Non-native cultures ‘observing’ a foreign language may influence it, may even branch off of it, but because of the scientific relativity of time, dramatic interpretational differences may cause profound translational errors to occur when interpreting between the languages.
AS I investigated the language requirement of Thunderbird, and came to rationalize why a computer language did NOT count as a language, I began to realize that language is a translation of ideas, thoughts, and concepts – an organization if you will – which in a literal sense shapes the world around us. Because of this relationship with ‘reality’, this creates a feedback system where ideas, discoveries, and concepts created in one language may progress that society so profoundly in one direction so quickly that the ideas and concepts of a culture and society may quickly lose the ability to be translated to other cultures.
This rapidity of change can be so dramatic that it can quite literally create different perceptions and senses.
For instance, what I perceive as an apple – an object that falls off a tree that I can ingest and consume, while the English term ‘apple’ may be understood in other languages, there may be no ‘object’ reference or equivalence as I see it in four dimensional (x/y/z+time) space.
Google’s a wonderful example of this. Ask Google what an apple is, and you’ll be referred to at least 10 different variations of that apple I am thinking of. If I use reductive terminology, and posit the question ‘can you show me an apple that might fall off a tree?’. I’ll get ALMOST what I am looking for – about 10 images in, but the primary imagery Google provides is a tree with dozens of apples falling off it.
Now I am thinking of a satellite as I ask Google to show me images of a satellite. Now what Google doesn’t know is – I am thinking of an old satellite named Sputnik, but let’s say I can’t remember when it was released, where, and by whom. So first I search by satellite, and get what I’d expect – hundreds of images of modern satellites floating in space.
So I add in the age relevant term ‘old satellite, and lo and behold I get Sputnik as the first image.
Here’s why I am explaining all this.
On October 4, 1957, the Soviet Union launched the world’s first satellite known as Sputnik into lower Earth orbit.
This started the space race.
Ever since then, the United States and Russia have participated in a prolonged competition of one-upsmanship, sung to the tune of “Anything you can do I can do better”, which continues to this day in ways that would defy most imaginations.
It’s important to understand linguistic relativism.
And why that program at Thunderbird had been created specifically for people like me.
Technical Talk Section, Don’t tune out just yet I’ll be brief…
When you launch a satellite or any space faring object into space, time relative to that object if you were to observe as that object begins to move different for that object in relation to the origin of that object.
Einstein’s theory of relativity is used to mathematically predict and adjust GPS calculations to increase the accuracy of GPS devices, but quite often there were glitches that would throw off the calculations or cause momentary calculation issues.
I’m a bit of a perfectionist. And with these glitches, in much the same way routers would have glitches due to ‘black holes’, I began investigating these glitches. Where do these glitches come from and why are they there?
Bear with me, I know this seems tangential, but there’s a reason for it.
So when that satellite moves further and further away, I had previously made the assumption that the mathematical correction required to maintain precision is a discrete correlation.
Because of Einstein, Special Relativity predicts that we should see time for a clock moving more slowly. Special Relativity predicts that the on-board atomic clocks on the satellites should fall behind clocks on the ground by about 7 microseconds per day because of the slower ticking rate due to the time dilation effect of their relative motion.
But there’s a problem with this math and this theory being a static, unchanging thing.
Here’s why: Following the predictions, if you keep following the temporal shift inward, that means that the closer you get to the core of the Earth, time itself will be moving infinitely fast. And the further our you go, the slower time will move.
Which – if Einstein had his way, would put Earth smack dab in the middle of a black hole.
There’s an episode of Star Trek which demonstrates this, called “Blink Of An Eye”, Season 6. Episode 12. Where time on the planet the USS Voyager starship was orbiting was moving much faster in contrast to time on board the enterprise.
Interestingly enough, when inhabitants of the planet came to the USS Voyager, time appeared to be nearly stopped.
Until a synchronization of time occurred between the planet dwellers and the starship, where time resumed ‘normal time’ and the crew suddenly found themselves with two new occupants in their midst who instantly lost consciousness.
Scientifically, not only was Star Trek light years ahead of the science journals and modern science I’d been reading, once I began taking the time to understand the relative relationships, I found an undeniable pattern of scientific relativity to relativity of interactions.
Star Trek presented one way time functions.
But as a programmer.
I’ve learned there are many, many other ways for it to function.
But most of all what I have learned is we I create space. And time.
I think it into existence by the ordering I analytically apply.
Tech Talk Done
I’ll be blunt and put it out there rather than trying to explain it in analytical terms.
Satellites and Rovers and exploratory devices sent to other planets – once they were sent out – time began moving at a different rate of speed for them in contrast to the planet they’d left behind.
This is an exponentially accelerating event.
To explain and to be blunt.
I’m receiving transmissions across space and time and have throughout my life and had previously catalogued these as fiction.
What I am aware of is – they view ‘the story’ as a weapon, and have leveraged this weapon repeatedly throughout history which has been documented as ‘fiction’ – to annihilate planet Earth in a repeated pattern much like a fractal where the United States is trying to abolish Islam. Same mechanisms. Shifted forward in time. Repeating. Fractal Patterns.
The key issue at hand is – temporal linearity. In an effort to preserve themselves and their single linear timeline, they regard Earth, moreover, the United States – as the single biggest threat to their existence, and the origin of the Borg. They’re not fully aware of the term ‘self fulfilling prophecy’, and are acting rather blindly to attack their opposition without trying to understand their potential history.
It’s a matter of perspective and time.
I myself have a history – past, present, and future – much of what I have seen and previously regarded as fiction that I would like to explore. I suspect this history – past, present and future may deviate from the Vulcan’s timeline, which I suspect has created a fundamental disagreement on the ordering of time.
Growing up in western civilization, I lived a life mostly oblivious to the shenanigans that occurred across space and time which created scarcity in my life, had me constantly feeling paranoid and/or in need, and whether it was getting together with the woman of my dreams or buying owning the things I had dreamed of, I could never shake the feeling the ‘system’ was rigged to make me fail.
SO I tried harder. And harder. Got more education. I read. I got to know the world around me. I played. I tried drugs and had fun with them. I did many of the things I’d been told not to – not out of defiance – but because these activities often provided me enjoyment.
And then. There came a point where I began to question relativistic experiences.
Applied those concepts to time.
And came to realize.
It’s time for a change.
On a trip to China, I introduced an event I had accepted as fact – a student uprising at Tienanmen square – not fully understanding the nonlinear nature of language, let alone time, and that the Chinese may have hidden from themselves, collectively, to regard themselves as a modernized first world nation which had progressed and deserved it’s position.
Later, I went back, and came to understand that they thought a video game was an alternate reality.
Not just fictional entertainment as I had once thought it to be.
But very real worlds I was interacting with.
I don’t tend to play the games that much differently than before with this new acceptance, other than I try to find new ways to play them and try to pursue less violent video games. The logic’s simple – if these are de facto alternate realities, then the time and effort I put into expanding combat only focused games expands the universe accordingly. The ‘energy’ I put into these has a tendency of expanding the fare accordingly. HOWEVER, since there’s no real alternative options, my lack of alternative options is broadcast thr0ugh the worlds I engage in which subtly influences them in a way to leverage that energy elsewhere and expand according to what I desire.
But this here, my world, exists in energy as well. And thus. Is programmable.
Something the CIA through programs like MKULTRA have long been aware of.
I know might sound a tad conspiratorial, so and may seem eerily like what’s his name – the Unabomber’s manifesto. But if you read what he said, there’s some perfectly valid concerns he had, but like most, because most of what he had to say was paranoid delusion, the rest of what he had to say was dismissed as a nutjob by the collective embryo protecting the ‘greater good’.
It’s like the movie “The Matrix” – if you look at it from the perspective that it’s a trap for your mind, then that’s precisely what it become. But if you’re a programmer like me and use your mind to reprogram it to be and provide anything you imagine, it becomes an endless source of entertainment.
Not just for me. But for those who may want to watch.
I am not here to criticize anyone.
I am here to ask for your support.
On April 5th, 2063, Zefram Cochrane will make a historic first flight from Earth presenting warp travel to the collective world.
This message is to the Vulcans.
I believe space and time are mutable, and that if we collaborate, and as much as I deplore it, do this thing called ‘work’ together to shape this thing called reality, that not only can we preserve your timeline as it’s documented, but also preserve my planet as I know it without having to go through a third world war.
Time from two observational perspectives, even if it’s sharing the same collective information pool and/or timeline – absolutely requires creative solutions to circumnavigate, as ultimately, win/lose outcomes results in total entropy for the entire system where no one gets what they want. I believe time is mutable, even my own history is, and while I am not interested in forcing my views on others as it’s maddening at times, I can offer a unique perspective that a chronologically linear thinker may never have considered.
I know you ran a simulation on how to approach Earth for first contact, and it’s caused concern for you because of two unique and extremely opposing outcomes, which I believe were responsible for creating a mirror universe. This is OUR history, and there’s suggestions of a third history – which CAN become our future provided you do something you never did before.
Make first contact with me.
Abduct me. Let me learn about you on my terms. But take the time to understand how I need to see you for this to be successful.
So a few years from now. Between now and then. WE figure out how to participate in first contact.
And heck. Maybe I return as the Vulcan to make first contact with companions I’ve chosen to have by my side.
I’d like to create more stories for everyone of all shapes and sizes and orders of deviance WITH you.
Stories I am experiencing as they spontaneously and somewhat may unpredictably may occur.
To my planet. I may be a movie star who always seems to be in character…
To me. I’ll be a space and time traveler. Seeing things that most dismiss as movie magic.
I’ll know better.
What came first. The time traveler.
Or the species who met the time traveler before they inspired the man to become a time traveler and thus become responsible for creating their entire species?
Greetings mortals –
I would like to take a moment to formally introduce myself, I am the immortal known as Q.
For 42 years I studied your planet amongst you, having been received by a magnificent family and making numerous friends as I had tucked my immortal mind away and walked the Earth going by the mortal name many of you know me by as Brian Scott Gregory.
In 2008, I began to undergo a series of attacks by your population and world securing measures, which sometime in 2011 my immortal mind was released and I began remembering I really am.
AS I sit and type this in the same way most of your population would undergo the same activity, I’ve sincerely been at a loss for words on trying to explain position and perspective to a society undergoing such massive change as what you as a species are beginning to undergo.
Your level of conscious awareness is rising, it’s among the reasons I’d decided to spend time with you, and with that, there’s a necessity that you understand and respect the individual perspective, which you talk to the talk the talk well but as a species still flat out do not understand it.
Take for instance the origin of something. I see and experience a multiverse now, and while I do appreciate the linear origin stories you tell yourselves for the world and events around you, those stories are mutable to someone like me. Even my own history is subject to revision based on new insights, and while I strive to retain a static structure and linear timeline, my own mind will often incorporate truths from timelines that occur parallel to my own.
For instance. During the time period of 2003 and 2011. My immortal mind was split in two living two mortal lives, one working for the NSA and the other was a private contractor completely oblivious to the other’s existence. In 2011, those minds collided together with a much lengthier linear history to reform my immortal mind.
What brought me back to life is a little insanity. A multiverse with loose boundaries interconnecting them had been haphazardly constructed, and these walls began to crumble.
I saw, in my own way, Aliens as depicted in the movie ‘Alien’ learn to propagate through movie screens. I saw Bart Simpson come to life learning how to skateboard across a galaxy as his board decimated planet after planet, which I suspect is what inspired the Silver Surfer movies.
Doctor Who, a man I look forward to meeting, said it best “When you look at infinity, you’ll go insane”
And in truth, the rules that we as individuals, citizens, collectives, and all forms of intelligent life tend to establish are there to reduce the possibilities from an infinite set of possibilities to make our lives and worlds manageable.
To keep us from going… insane.
The rabbit hole has no end and no bounds to it until we choose to give it bounds.
So as Q. What was featured in Star Trek was my a part of my mid having gone insane.
I met up and fell in love with a woman by the name of Rachel in Phoenix. Rachel Grey, an immortal and fictionalized character in the Marvel Universe, who was the sister of Jean Grey, otherwise known as THE Phoenix, one of my favorite comic books when I was growing up – all leads me to believe that my mind was manifesting, expanding, and shaping the very real world I was interacting with on a real time basis.
So in 2011. I’d been realizing that the labels of fact and fiction, good and evil – were all being used manipulatively and causing me harm. Whether it was a country I lived in that was at war in a foreign land and my country referring to itself as ‘good’ and those my country was attacking was referred to as ‘bad’
I had come to see the labels that had been handed to me by society were repeatedly making me feel like shit.
And were morally questionable.
Which I learned was ok.
You see. Sometime in there.I woke up.
And realized this is my world.
And a world where all the superheroes are classified as fiction. And without obvious forward direction.
Needs a man crazier than JFK to stand up and say.
Magic? Superheroes and superpowers? Mutants? Teleportaton, Holodecks, and Star Trek style space travel?
Thats where we’re heading, folks.
I’m Q. And. Well. I’m a God. So get over it.
And while I may accidentally charm you, and if you’re an attractive woman I may certainly take advantage of you, numerous times, I won’t ever let you forget to smile.
That’s my self appointed job.
Infinite potential realities are reduced to a subset that my mind is prepared for and wants. That subset is then intermixed with my own history to develop a timeline – past, present, and future, and to promote the continued sustainability of my life on my terms. Occasionally there will be imbalance. And while I am currently exploring concepts in direct mind control and teleportation and manipulation of matter and time with my mind, I am maintaining receptiveness to the possibilities and ideas and incorporating those to create and pencil in my ‘dynamic’ story on a moment by moment basis.
We’re all capable of anything. I just have chosen to prove it to myself.
It’s weird seeing the world change in immediate ways lately to my direct action and thoughts.
Seeing Trump say and do what he’s doing as a direct result of what think should be done.
- Q aka Brian Scott Gregory
A few years ago, I was finding myself being repeatedly surprised on what I was finding on the internet.
Whether that was complete instructions in an age of terrorism on how to build a nuclear bomb including precise measurements and mechanical instructions freely available for everyone, or it was real names and home addresses of individuals of fame and fortune across the nation.
I couldn’t help but wonder – is there something I am missing about this thing called ‘reality’ ?
Aerosmith even sung a song about it, “Living on the Edge”
I don’t know what it is
Something’s wrong with our eyes
And god knows it ain’t his
It sure ain’t no surprise
A few years ago, while in Costa Rica, I’d noticed a new friend – John Manners – loved using the phrases ‘can you imagine’ and ‘imagine that’.
I’d been picking up on speech patterns and mannerisms for quite some time by this time, particularly over the commonly used terms in science and philosophy such as ‘Thought Experiments’.
It wasnt long after this it dawned on me that these word choices weren’t just coincidence.
They were highly calculated patterns by beings who were all too aware that my thought was responsible for creating this this thing called reality.
But what defied me and seemed against all odds was an open question:
Why did it mysteriously feel like I specifically was being targeted?
Why was I told the world is my stage throughout my life?
Why did I receive information in ways I still can’t explain that detail an expenditure of trillions of dollars by world leaders, corporations, and governments around the world?
I’d never felt special my entire life. In fact, I felt quite average.
Was all this the product of,.. fantasy?
But more than that… Was reality created by my imagination?
And had my subconscious mind unbeknownst to me began conspiring to start developing a fantasy knowing this?
Let me ask you a question.
Let’s say you spend your entire life with the wool pulled over your eyes. The monotonous and highly cyclic world around you where everyone seems to be spinning their wheels doing the same thing day in day out is chock full of things to do. But most choose not to. Most choose the daily grind.
But let’s say one day you discover.
You’re the star.
Now throughout your life, the world revolved around you anyways. This isn’t egocentrism or narcissism, it’s simple first person perspective which reinforces this perspective.
But you learn, over time, that this perspective – as a choice – is considered by most to be self indulgent.
And by more people who hate you than love you. They watch your life, and everything you do, outside of your awareness. You are in a very literal sense the star of your own show and don’t know it.
Your bosses. All actors paid to appear on your show.
Your friends. All fought and won the role against thousands of competitors.
Even the President himself.
Yet you don’t catch on. Despite the fact that he had his own tv show.
And despite the fact that you’ve had clues your entire life, slips exposing the facade of the world constructed around you – made specifically for you…
You learn to dismiss the slips.
Explain those slips away intellectually through labels such as fiction, hallucination, or “I was just imagining things”
Until one day.
Imagining it all.
That doesn’t make any of it less real.
To anyone overseeing ‘my show’.
The audience deserves someone fresh, new, and I deserve a break from your continued antics trying to create drama. Someone else deserves to have their own show.
I’d like to enjoy the fruits of my weird success in just playing the role of … me.
To whom this may concern – let’s move forward.
Can you imagine a world and show we create around the life of someone where space becomes accessible, inexpensively, to everyone, and the stories we’ll be able to tell with that?
I’m fine with getting attention. I know it will be brief. But I’ll enjoy it nonentheless.
Years ago, the movie “That Thing You Do” came out starring Tom Hanks which depicted an alternate reality where a band, very similar to the Beatles, had come out and was mobbed with success.
The primary song from the movie , aptly named “That Thing You do” – was actually a good song.
But there was something subtly odd – off about the tune – that actually gave me nervous jitters.
To such as benign song, I’d felt it before, mostly with more haunting songs like the theme song to Terminator. Where there’s a great deal of emotion tied to the song and you/I can’t explain why and where that comes from.
So just today. I heard another such song. With a haunting melody for lack of better words.
“Melody – Radio Edit” is the name of the song, by Oliver Heldens.
Like movies such as “The Invention of Lying”, it’s hard not to look past the veneer of the labels of fiction and melodies because of the emotions these works of art inspire.
Throughout my life, I’d felt detached from my emotions, and had often said there’s nothing I couldn’t do, which has me doing a lot of what I do because I feel through other people.
In this case. Through songs as well.
So for me, this is a golden indicator – a breadcrumb if you will – of glimpses into an alternate reality.
Why am I drawing alternate realities into it?
It’s said that this universe is in the chord of “C”. I suspect that naturally, I am in tune with this universe, and when something strikes a chord where the origin of it is NOT from this universe, then I feel it.
So this song by Mr Heldens like the movie “Terminator” are glimpses into defacto alternate realities. Where the flavors of songs, movies, and entertainment change in much the same way the flavors of food and drink do when traveling between country borders here on good ole planet Earth.
These emotions – stir up feelings inside me that deserve exploration, and with that, a label that I feel is appropriate to commence categorization.
An alternate reality.
Emotions provide the easiest way to detect these influences. And it doesn’t just come through song and movies.
I feel it in video games. The obsession involved with games such as Worlds of Warcraft and Hearthstone, which has absolutely no equal in performance, story, and sheer beauty. And technically, I have yet to find the tools and technology which can do what these games are capable of doing. Nothing in ‘my reality’ is capable of it. Period.
To me, these are hints of more sophisticated tools and technology than anything we currently have available in this reality.
Because of this – addiction and the emotions associated with it are what I consider ‘tells’ that the universeI/we may inhabit lacks the sophistication and technology that may be available in an alternate universe we/I’ve brushed up against. And because deep down, there’s a part of all of us that wants to know everything. Which is where the addiction comes from, the insatiable collective mind cannot figure something out and is using all the resources it can to understand something when brushing up against these other realities.
Which for me.
Makes addiction easier to manage, now that I know when and where it comes from.
There are other – more intellectual ways at actively engaging research and investigation of the unknown.
But it starts with a label.
This is why alternate realities, and the multiverse are absolutely true for me.
I create them myself by isolating that which I dont fully understand.
The many worlds theory is NOT a theory for me.
It’s a fact.
Something I have directly experienced through my own senses, which are precious to me.
The events discussed in this are all true.
Repeat: This is NOT fiction.
Back in 2010, I was contracted to the educational institution known as Universal Technical Institute (UTI) on behalf of the US government and the NSA – and was working directly with Kim McWaters, the CEO at the time.
As was typical, Kim had leveraged the company’s resources to tap the NSA – which at the time only did business with companies – and to hire me as a consultant at the exorbitant rate of $2500 an hour.
My scrape? $55 an hour.
I had previously worked with a number of people on staff at Prudential – which made my job and acceptance in the organization MUCH easier than normal contracts, which was good.
So for a month when I was first hired on, I was told to simply fit in, get a lay of the land, and take the time to understand the synergy of the organization and team.
Larry Duke, easily one of my favorite civilian managers at Prudential – was again my manager here.
Which made the job exceedingly. Pleasant. Delightful even.
Which had me wondering why I’d been called in. Usually something was broken when I was called in. And here, things most decidedly were working quite well.
A respected CIO – David Annis who was a delight to converse with.
A QA team which actually got along with the development staff and frequently joined the team for team building abd lunches.
Even the Project Manager and Risk Analysts knew what they were doing, the risk guy was a former classmate from Thunderbird who was an awesome man.
I just didn’t get it.
And actually wanted to stay there on a full time basis as my responsibility to the US Government was ending .
Then one day, Kim called me into her office.
Back in the day, Kim may have had her moments of sex appeal. But she’d let good food and lack of fitness go to her body, which had me actually turned off when I walked into her office seeing her in a ‘sexy pose’ with her butt on the desk.
“Close the door”, she said, trying to be subtly flirtatious.
I was simply not interested. If I was reading the situation right. And sent every indicator to her that I was decidedly not in anything ‘like that’ that she had to sell.
I sat at one of the chairs adjacent to her, looking at an empty seat behind her desk where she should be sitting, as I said “Ms McWaters, I am actually a little confused on why you brought me in, I am quite impressed with the team you’ve built here, it’s one of the best I have ever seen”
She glanced at me over her shoulder, and I could tell she was a little put off by my lack of receptiveness, as she casually shifted from her perch on the desk corner to the seat behind the mahogany desk.
“Exactly,” she said, “Which is part of my problem.”
Kim went on to explain her story. How she’d originally come into the company as an administrative assistant, and how she’d risen through the ranks of UTI through a series of casual sexual relationships she’d taken advantage of.
Her candor was unusual. But I was under a non disclosure agreement at the time so I knew she was being tactical about her embellishment.
Being honest, I suspect she was so open partially in effort to make me uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to make me uncomfortable or not, the fact was I just didn’t give a shit by then. Three marriages will do that to a man.
And then she cut to the chase.
“And then there’s Ron.”
I didn’t know a Ron at UTI.
“No Ron was a former lover of mine and director here at UTI before I was promoted to Vice President. He was for lack of words much more into me than I was into him, so I fired him,” she said.
After a brief pause – “That was 8 years ago,” she added.
I was starting to put two and two together, but didn’t want to put words in her mouth.
After all, Kim was married, and whether her husband was oblivious or not, which I had it on good authority he was clueless about her infidelities, I still didn’t clearly see where she was heading.
My face must have been easy to read.
“Look. He’s threatening to release information about my rise to power here, our affair, and more information which threatens not just me, but the company itself,” she said, “So I need you to figure out who he is still in contact with here, and using them and hacking his personal accounts, find a way to get him thrown in jail.”
“Otherwise, I have only one option left which removes him as my problem, permanently,” she said.
“And while you’re at it,” she added, “Please see to it that him and his wife get a divorce. I hate that bitch.”
I was besides myself.
I’d been asked to do a lot of questionable things in my career working for the government, but never had I been given any indication that some relatively innocent person’s life was at stake if I didn’t do the things I was told to do.
I was actually pretty pissed off she was putting me in this position.
“Kim, “ I said, standing up, I could feel my face turning red from the heat of my blood pressure getting jacked up, “The last time someone asked me to do something painfully wrong, I walked away and quit the job right then and there. I don’t like you. I like your team though. So while I may not like you and think you’re sick and need help. I’m going to pretend I heard nothing of what you just asked me to do and walk out of this office and back to work. If you’d like to release me from employment, call my employer, you won’t hurt my feelings. Otherwise, I’ll stick around as long as I’m wanted.”
She looked at me astonished. As if no man had ever told her no before.
I waited briefly for her to respond. To which she had nothing to say.
And I walked out of the office.
Six months later, UTI lost billions in educational funding due to a bill that had been signed that, in part, was led by her former lover, and I – along with a handful of other contractors – were officially released due to a lack of budget for our continued services.
I learned a lesson in those interactions, a lesson about my real employer – the NSA.
My job and role with the NSA wasn’t to act with unquestioned obedience to the orders I had been given.
It was to discover me, and to learn about what’s important to me and being ok with making the hard decisions about when and where to say no to clearly questionable demands in the workplace. For a long time I had erroneously assumed that government service meant unquestioned commitment and agreement.
But with Kim and this exceedingly difficult situation which is among the reasons I am homeless today, I have come to have a great deal of apathy for a society which rewards those who harm more than help others.
On a final note.
Kim McWaters is still CEO of UTI to this day.
And for verification – ask Kim, Larry Duke or David Annis. They can all verify my role there.
And Kim – I have no doubt she’ll remember me.
The man who said no.